Without a wand and free range of motion, I was at the mercy of the brutish man leering mere inches from my face. "I've been waiting for this moment, wolf," he said in my ear.

I knew I had to live through this and confess my undying love for Tonks, but a bit of Sirius' rogue attitude broke through as I said, "I didn't know you fancied a snog all this time." I smirked showing more bravado than I felt.

Dawlish's fist met my stomach with force I associated with the Whomping Willow. "You. Are. A. Filthy. Animal," he said laying a blow with each word. I could feel that I was about to be sick. As bile started to rise in my throat another powerful hit caused me to vomit on Dawlish. The look of disgust on his face as he vanished the sick from his clothes told me I would be lucky to walk in the next few days.

With a mighty grunt, Dawlish threw me to the floor breaking the chair I was in. My hands were free but I didn't dare defend myself. When the first kick came I guarded my head from the anvil-like blows to my torso and legs. The words coming from Dawlish's mouth were indistinguishable from his grunts. When I heard a knock at the door, I felt that luck and perhaps providence was on my side.

"We have to let him go," a man's voice said from the door. "Merlin, what did you do to the man? The orders were just to ask him about some phoenix business and what he was doing last night." I felt a hand, much to gentle to be Dawlish, grab my arm and pull me up.

I blinked at the light in the hallways and tried to get a look at the person who saved me from that horrid room. "Thank you," I said recognizing the man as an auror I had seen around the Ministry.

A conflicted look crossed the man's face. "Just wait here," he said heading toward the direction they took Nymphadora. My eyelids felt heavy and I had to lean on the wall for support. I felt my knees give out from underneath me as I slowly slid to the floor.

"Remus!" Tonks' voice rang clear in my mind. I felt her hands and my eyes fluttered open. "What did they do to you?" she asked not waiting for an answer.

Minerva was there with her and looked quite aghast at my appearance. Considering that she had seen me in a post-transformation state before I had wolfsbane, I had to be in bad shape for her to look that concerned. "You two should stay at the castle," she said in a firm voice.

"We'll be safe at my place, or Remus'" Tonks said firmly. "Thank you, though," she added in a softer tone. McGonagall gave a curt nod before we parted ways. Tonks supported my weight as we walked the short distance to her flat.

Once we were a bit further away I had to check, "Are you sure we'll be safe there? Dawlish might do something rash."

Tonks shook her head then said in a grim voice, "I'd like to see him try. I might just curse his bits off anyway. I'd like to know why they hauled us in this morning anyway. Brad and Proudfoot seemed like they were only following orders."

I had to chew on that for a moment before asking, "Brad? Do you mean Savage?" Her eyes showed a touch of coolness as she nodded. "Seems like you've hit things off since March," I said despite myself. Merlin I could be an idiot. Barely able to walk, just about to walk into an unknown situation, and I'm acting like a jealous schoolboy to a woman who has repeatedly shown her devotion to me.

Showing grace that I didn't know was in her, Tonks ignored my insinuation and opened the door to her flat. Brad's eyes swelled with concern as we entered the living room. "You're back," he said in a voice that sounded genuinely worried. "I couldn't believe they brought you in this morning – it wasn't just."

I wanted to laugh at his assertion that government and just action went together. "Listen, I know it was ordrs," Tonks said briskly. "We're going to my room for a bit. Just let us know if Dawlish shows his face." The two men nodded as we crossed to her bedroom door. Once we were inside, Tonks waved her wand towards the door. "That should keep 'em out."

I took off soiled clothes and fell onto the bed wondering if I ought to clean up before getting into bed. Tonks was at my side in a few moments brushing stray hair from my face and tenderly stroking my cheek. I couldn't wait another moment to share my revelation with Tonks for fear of another cataclysmic event. "I was terrified when they took you away. The worst thoughts entered my mind. I thought I lost you," my voice cracked slightly but I couldn't stop or I might not get a chance to finish. "I can't bear to lose you anymore, Nymphadora." Taking her soft hand into mine, I said, "I love you and want to be together. No more of this foolish back and forth – I know better now."

The moments between my last words and her next whipped up all of my anxieties and hope. "Arthur was right," she finally said. "I just needed to wear down your defenses." Tonks let out a slightly nervous laugh then leaned close to me, kissing my cheek.

I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at her response. Several small kisses reached my face as I tried to respond. "Well, I'm glad you listened. He's a wise man," I said with my eyes shutting from the pleasure of her lips on my face. I couldn't sustain speech as Tonks began to kiss towards my neck, then ear. Breathing, I knew that was important but anything else was bonus with Tonks so close to me. Opening my eyes slightly I saw a flash of bubblegum pink. "Tonks, your hair… it's pink"

Tonks stopped her kisses to check her hair in the mirror. Where were her priorities? The grin that formed on her face was as good as kiss. Once Tonks sat on the bed again a shimmer of seriousness passed over her face. "I do want to talk through some issues," she said in a meek but firm voice.

Sitting up in bed so I could meet her eye to eye, I said, "Ask my anything."

It wasn't a surprise that she started with a question about leaving her then going to Farah. I owed her the truth for those mistakes. I had dreaded the inevitable conversation about my sloppy relationship decisions. Rather than feel a poisonous sting with each truth, it was like pain being syphoned out of my wounds. I could see that some of the truth was hard for her to hear but she also seemed to gain piece of mind from each heartache explained. I didn't fight the tears that came as I told her of my regret and ridiculous insistence than I keep her at arm's length.

When she had heard what she needed, Tonks placed a tender hand on my cheek saying, "You don't have to explain anymore, Remus. I forgave you a long time ago. All I need now is your love."

With a fluid movement I didn't think I had the agility for in that moment, I pulled Tonks close to me telling her, "You've always had that, Nymphadora." Kissing her in that moment was more than divine. I felt that perfect sense of home where contentment and pleasure combine in an impossible to replicate way. We spent the evening together burying grief and worry for the time and focusing on passion and fire instead.

Dumbledore's funeral was the next morning. We got up rather early and ate something Tonks claimed was eggs. Savage got up shortly before we had to leave. He looked as if he had been up all night too. Yawning he said, "No sign of Dawlish last night. Didn't think he'd fancy coming back after reporting you." He had stayed up all night to protect Tonks.

With a clank of her fork, Tonks turned to face Savage. "He reported me?" she asked in a tone of disbelief.

"Trust me, Scrimegour wouldn't have noticed if Merlin himself had showed up last night. Not that he needed the help after you guys cleared out the death eaters." Savage paused for a moment then asked, "Is it true? What they're saying about Charlie's brother? He was ripped apart by a werewolf."

Understanding came to mind as Tonks defended me from her friend's insinuation and concern. Charlie was seeing a bloke and Savage seems to know him. Taking a stab at putting my ill-placed jealously to rest, I asked, "Have you heard from Charlie lately?"

The smile that played on Savage's face told me there was more to their relationship than friendship. It might have been the same look that made my feelings for Tonks so obvious for those who knew what to look for.

We left a few minutes later, hand in hand to Hogwarts to farewell Dumbledore. Despite the deep loss and sadness within and around me, Tonks' love acted like a patronus against true pain and heartache. I imagined how Dumbledore's eyes would have twinkled if he saw how her love affected me. He knew though, almost from the beginning he saw what we'd become and encouraged it.

Surviving a war in my 20's meant that I had been to many funerals and grieved for many friends. This time it was different – I would not have to face the aftermath of grief alone as I had when my best friends left me. We would be there for each other now and forever.

A shock met Nymphadora as we left the service. Gawain Robards, with Scrimegour at his side, gave Tonks a letter of suspension from her job. He was cold and quite indifferent to the wounded expression on Tonks' face. I gave her had a squeeze when the two wizards walked away. "We'll figure something out," I said softly.

I could tell it was hard for Tonks to leave Proudfoot and Savage. She gave Savage and hug and a kiss on the cheek and shook Proudfoot's hand before we left. We stepped out into the late afternoon without a clear idea of where we should go. We stopped just shy of the main street in Hogsmeade to determine our immediate plan. "We should stop at your place," I said building up gumption for the next sentence. "I would like it if we could live together at my house. I… I realize it's small and understand if you want to keep a separate place just in case-" Tonks answered me by tripping over her trunk, crashing both of us to the ground, and finally kissing me in the mud. I helped Tonks up smiling at her eagerness. "I suppose that means yes…" I said teasing her.

Settling into home, our home, was the best feeling I could have imagined. It was hard to believe I had gone so many months without Tonks' laugh or touch. I wanted to finally propose to her but I needed to discuss the matter with Ted first. I wasn't quite asking for permission but trying to understand public opinion on the matter.

Tonks' parents were ecstatic to have their daughter home again. Andromeda insisted on Tonks' company while she prepared dinner and went about her business through the house. Their mother and daughter time gave me a chance to ask Ted for a private word.

Ted's eyebrows raised slightly as he said, "Alright, Remus. I can show you our garden out this way." Showing me out the door and into the garden, Ted didn't say anything until we were next to the geranium patch by the garden gate. "What is it you wanted to discuss?"

I took a deep breath, trying not to sound as nervous as I felt. "I would like to, well, get your opinion on the matter of Tonks and I getting married."

The smile that broke on Ted's face was most reassuring. "Remus! What took you so long? Dora's been mad about you since you she first brought you 'round."

Laughing, I decided to not tell Ted that we had pretended to be a couple that night as part of an elaborate mission for the Order of the Phoenix. Rather, I said, "Sometimes you have to almost lose someone before realizing how much they mean."

"Don't go telling 'Dromeda that version of events. She already thinks Dora's job is too rough on her." Ted and I walked around the garden for a bit longer then went back inside. The rest of dinner did not go as smoothly as my stroll with Ted. When Tonks let her family know she'd been suspended, Ted was beside himself. Andromeda was also angry but seemed to think a less dangerous career path would be better for her daughter.

Maybe it was all the nights with just the stars over my head or the fact that part of my brain had been contemplating my proposal to Tonks for a year, but it took me less than two days to plan a romantic evening. Tonks was almost suspicious when I asked her for an afternoon to prepare something for her. After many kisses and promises of fun in bed, she agreed to visit Molly at the Burrow.

I started preparing the house in the opposite order of events for the night. I transfigured my solitary chair on the garden patio to a love seat for two, got the record player ready with the song I wanted cued, and finally started on cooking dinner. I didn't know how Mum managed to cook without magic. I was adept at simple meals and fast dinners but tonight was a complex mixture of food that had precise recipes and an exact timing.

Either my kitchen prowess or Tonks' timing were impeccable as she came home right when food was ready to be served. Judging by the smile that lit up her face, Tonks was thrilled by the fancy dinner I had prepared. I could also tell she did not expect more than a nice dinner from the evening. Over our meal I brought up a conversation I had with Minerva earlier that week. "She suggested there might be two openings now – one for DADA and the other for Transfiguration," I said before sipping the wine.

"It would make sense for you to teach DADA," Tonks said smiling. "Judging by how well your former students were the other week, the school would be foolish not to hire you." We didn't talk about the war very much since we left Hogsmeade – it was as if we had created a bubble of blissful ignorance to the outside world.

"They had Harry to really hone their skill, actually," I said to steer the conversation away from the war. "He had that Dumbledore's Army group last year." There I went and steered us right back to the point I was trying to avoid. I did not want sadness to taint this night of ours.

She must have seen the melancholy in my eyes because Tonks changed the subject. "I'm not sure I could see myself telling students to behave." That wicked grin I loved so much shined at me from her side of the table. "Though, I might be able to," she sat up straighter and snapped her back and forth as if readying herself for a fight, "adjust to the role of responsibility."

It was impossible not to laugh. "You wouldn't be the only reformed troublemaker teaching the youths of Hogwarts," I said with a wink. We had both finished our meal at that point, phase two seemed right on track. Standing up and extending a hand to Tonks, I asked, "Will you honor me with a dance?"

The blush that crept up Tonks' neck as she said yes, shy as if we were two teenagers at a formal dance, was endearing and sweet. The record player sprang into action as we moved into the living room where she kept me company during so many transformations. The booming voice of Carlos Gardel filled the room.

Dancing and feeling her body against mine was a gentle reminder of why I needed to spend every day of the rest of my life with this amazing woman. "Remus, what does this song mean?" she asked without lifting her head from my shoulder.

How could I possibly explain the beauty of tango and the emotion is raised for so many? Quite poorly is how I explained it. The song was about a man who saw his addiction to gambling and women as a way to forget himself but he could not quit either. "It's a song you have to feel rather than understand," I finally said after fumbling with the translation.

As the song ended, I pulled Tonks, if possible, even closer to me. "There's a constellation I want to show you called Pulchra Vita. I've read that it is breathtaking." Out on the patio, I stood with an arm around Tonks and my head pointed toward the sky. "I think I see it," I said craning my neck slightly. "Let me connect a few of the lines." Waving my wand, I connected a few of the stars. I knew it wasn't a recognizable shape yet.

"I'm not seeing anything," Tonks said squinting. "Can you connect a few more of the lines?" With another flourish of my wand, I connected several more points in the sky. This only seemed to distort any picture Tonks was forming in her mind's eye. "Remus, are you sure this is a real constellation?" she asked sounding a bit more doubtful than she did before.

I smiled and let out a soft laugh. "This will help," I promised connecting more of the stars.

"Not really," she said craning her head from side to side. "It might say 'Harry Te' which can't be a constellation. They're pictures not words. Are you sure you're connecting the right lines?" she asked pinching my side gently.

"Quite sure," I said kissing the top of her head. "Let me connect the rest." I finished drawing the lines between stars in the sky and let Tonks read what they said.

She was distracted by the words which I heard her mummer as comprehension dawned. Tonks turned to see my on one knee with a ring box out. "Nymphadora, I planned on doing this last year but we both know I made an egregious mistake," I paused sighing deeply. "I'm here now and I promise I'll never leave. Will you marry me?"

There was a high pitched sound and a thud before both of us were on the cement. In her excitement Tonks knocked us back and missed the couch. "Of course I'll marry you. A hundred times, yes!"

Friends, family, and colleagues were thrilled to hear of our engagement. Minerva officially offer us jobs at the school. It felt like our life was shaping into the impossible dream for a boy bitten by a werewolf and raised not to hope for happiness. Tonks' mother wasn't thrilled about our engagement but Nymphadora assured me that she could have brought home an international quidditch player and her mum would find fault.

We had about 40 days where we got to live the dream. It was the night of a full moon. Tonks had brewed me wolfsbane potion and was eager to help with my carnal needs before I transformed. I might have heard them break open the door if I had been consumed by Tonks' beauty and love. My nose caught onto the intrusion before my other senses. I started to reach for my wand a large hand snatched them from the bedside table. I rolled over to see Dawlish and his unfavorable leer directed at my future wife. Behind him Fenrir was fixated on me. Cooper and Smith were lurking at the back of the posse looking as intimidating as they could.

Fenrir threw me a pair of trousers and told me, "Get dressed, traitor." Feeling that complying with his demands would lead to the least harm for Tonks, I got up and stepped into my pants. How had I missed this connection? Now that it was right in front of me, their collusion was almost obvious and overt. Throwing me against a wall with his hand to my throat, Fenrir growled at me, "Did you think I wouldn't noticed you were," he paused and leaned toward my neck. I feared that Tonks would have to witness my throat and all that blood but the worst she had to observe was a grotesque lick from Fenrir. "One of Dumbledores?" he finished.

"Please," I said hoping that Fenrir had a shred of humanity left, "Do what you will with me but spare her. She's got nothing to do with this." My eyes searched out the four faces desperate for a sign of mercy but nothing of the sort came through their steely stares.

"Spare her?" Fenrir laughed coldly. "She's Dawlish's prize. It turns out you led us here by using this fire to connect to Hogwarts last year. Turns out the Ministry was watching those fires when you paid someone a late night visit"

With a sudden movement, Fenrir grabbed me and started to drag me from the room. My pleas were that of a desperate man. "I'll do anything, just, please, spare her!" I didn't fight back. The sooner we left the house the safer Tonks would be from the teeth of three deadly werewolves and one dangerous wolf. I shuddered as Dawlish gave me a lewd wink before shutting the bedroom door. "No!" I cried out with a sob.

The plan was clear and simple – they took me to an alley that was blocked off on one side and held me until the moon was at its peak. Fenrir seemed to be holding back on violence until he could attack in his preferred form. When the wolf took me it shut out my fear for safety and made survival my goal. The other three seemed set on murdering me. Wolfsbane did not help as its main aim was to calm the wolf, not exacerbate its power.

It felt like one of my transformations with the Marauders but a nightmare of the fun we had. Instead of three friends going on an adventure it was three beasts determined to kill me in the most painful way possible. Our fight was a blur of fur and claws. At one point I managed to dart across the street. One of them, Smith I thought, was hit by a speeding car. His yelp did not stop the others from chasing me on. I alluded the remaining two for a while until one blindsided me. I howled my pain and lashed back. It was enough to get me out of danger for the moment.

By the time the moon waned that night, I had already collapsed near a dumpster half burying myself in bits of rubbish to hide. If they came upon me I'd be finished. My eyes closed and I was dead to the world. I couldn't tell you if it was moments or hours until I came to. I stirred after something recalled me to the fact that Tonks was out there somewhere. I tried to say her name but I wasn't sure if I managed to make a sound.

Loud as a hangover, a thud, thud, approached me. Each thud more pronounced than the last. A hand shook me as a familiar gruff voice said, "Lupin, wake up. There's no time to rest." My eyes blinked a few times before Moody's face came into focus. Confusion must have shown on my face because he said, "Went by your place to give you the plan to get Potter and saw Dawlish knocked out. Tonks wasn't there and neither were you. Figured something had gone wrong. I brought you clothes and your wand."

I sat up suddenly. "Tonks, we have to find her," I said my brain working through the words that swirled in through my ears. "It was Fenrir and Dawlish – they attacked." I couldn't finish the sentence. Getting to my feet was a slight struggle.

"Let's go," Moody said once I looked stable enough to support myself. "She would have come this way to find you. There's not another place to box you in for a fight."

We walked down each alley looking for Tonks or the other werewolves. Three streets down we came by a naked figure in the street. "Smith," I said in a low, angry voice. "He's one of the scum-"

That was all the provocation Moody needed to put his prosthetic leg on Smith's chest and lean over him. "Rise and shine, you puddle of piss," he said in a voice scarier than any I'd heard from him.

It took Smith a moment to register his predicament. "What the-?" he said with a start looking at Moody. When he saw me color rose in his cheeks. "You!"

"Yes, him," Moody snarled. "Better pay attention to me as I'm the one with my foot over your ribcage." Smith was taking shallow breathes to prevent his ribcage sinking under the weight Moody was exerting on him. "You better tell us what led you to his house tonight and what your plans were."

"Plans? Simple, kill the traitor, take the girl," he said with his eyes on Moody still. Smith turned his head toward me and said, "Never thought she'd taste like bubble gum with that hair of hers but, let me tell you, she was the best snack I've had in ages."

Someone was shouting and I realized momentarily that it was me. I had falled to my knees and was sobbing. "Not Tonks. You were supposed to kill me instead," I cried. "Supposed to be me…" I repeated that for some amount of time. I did not see the point in living past that point. How could I pretend to live without her vivacious spark?

This is how I killed the love of my life. I was a fool, a complete nave to believe I could love without risking her life. She paid the ultimate price for my mistake.

A/N: Pulchra Vita is a rough translation of "Beautiful Life" in Latin.