:/ mehh. enjoy the story:

Chapter 6

The grounds around Isengard had become full of holes because the roots of the trees had gone fifty meters into the ground. They were really, really, deep roots.

Meanwhile, Gandalf was still on top of Orthanc. He watched a moth flutter by and caught it gently.

"Gwaihir, go!" he shouted in an Ash Ketchum voice, throwing the moth.

"My name isn't even Gwaihir..." the moth cried as it fell over the edge.

Gandalf shrugged, wishing for his GameBoy.

888

When Frodo opened his eyes, he saw a couple of huge stone trolls. One of them had a huge bite mark that looked suspiciously dwarven.

"Look, Frodo! It's Mr. Bilbo's trolls!" Sam leaned over Frodo.

"oh mi good god sam do u really think i give a crap like seriously i am in pain right now," Frodo groaned.

Sam felt his friend's forehead.

"He's going cold!"

"idiot strikes again..."

"Is he like, gonna die?" Pippin asks. "Because if he does, I want all his drugs."

"He is passing into the Twilight world. He'll soon become a spirit like the rest of them. We must find the Mirror of Twilight to save Hyrule!"

Merry gasped and clutched his head. "Can you guys stop giving me new information?! I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now!"

"Hey Sam, do you know the Athelas plant?" Strider asked the resident gardener.

"...Is this another Zelda reference?"

"No, it might help save Frodo's life."

Sam immediately took off, his legs somehow spinning 360 degrees as he ran. "Gotta go fast!"

Strider left as well to find the plant. As he bent down to pick up a handful, a sword snaked its way to his throat.

"What's this? A Ranger caught off his guard?"

"Arwen, can you stop doing that?"

"DON'T BOSS ME AROUND YOU SON OF A BITCH!" the she-elf screamed.

A few minutes later, Frodo opened his eyes to see a white horse and a beautiful elf maiden approaching him. Arwen knelt beside the injured hobbit.

"I am Arwen. I have come to help you. Hear my voice. Come back to the light."

Frodo gasped in pain.

"RESPOND TO ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU, INSOLENT PEASANT!" Arwen bitch slapped him several times.

Sam and Merry slowly backed away. Pippin was nowhere to be seen.

"Who is that?" Merry asked. "Yet another character introduction has left my head spinning!" He clutched his head.

Sam gasped dramatically. "She's an elf!"

Arwen gave him a glare that could have vaporized liquid nitrogen. "No duh, fatty."

More bird crap landed on Sam's head.

The bitchy elf turned back to Frodo. "He's fading."

Strider picked up Frodo and carried him to Arwen's horse. "Stay here with the hobbits. I'll send horses back for you."

Arwen snatched the reins from her boyfriend. "Actually, I'm going! I'm the faster rider!"

"The road is too dangerous!" Strider protested. "Actually, you can go. As you wish." The Ranger changed his mind at the elf's death glare.

She gave him a prompting look.

Strider grimaced. "Buttercup..."

Arwen mounted Asfaloth and galloped away.

She rode through out of the woods and through an open plain. Five Nazgûl rode behind her, quickly overtaking her.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Arwen reached into her dress and whipped out a tube of mascara, stabbing one of the ringwraiths in the neck. He screamed and fell off his horse. The others backed off a little, except for a dumb/persistent one who drew his sword and tried to swing at Arwen. She ducked and cursed in Elvish, reaching into her cloak once more and drawing out a hairbrush.

The Nazgûl screamed. All of the others wondered how their companion had gotten himself pinned to a tree by his eyeballs. They increased their distance from the elf by twenty meters.

Finally, Arwen rode across the river and turned around to face her enemies. The wraith's horses tentatively began to cross the river. They were about halfway across when a huge crap-infested wave of toilet water roared around the river's bend and engulfed the poor spirits.

"TACO BELL, BITCHES!" Arwen screamed, waving her sword.

Frodo fell off the horse.

"No, Frodo! Don't give in, not now!" Arwen hovered over the injured hobbit. "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? I SAID, DON'T GIVE IN!" She bitch-slapped him some more.

Did you find the 2 fandom crossover reference thingies I mentioned? XD one of them was pretty obvious. Also, what did you think of Arwen's character? Let me know in the comments!