Chapter 21- It's finished

He walked her out in silence, not sure who was holding up who.

Bobby had taken over, Cas and Meg blocking everyone out, Sam and Dean shell shocked at the carnage.

"Dean. You take these kids to a motel, me and Sam'll sort this mess out."

Sam went pale. "We will?"

"Well, the homicide fairies ain't gonna do it! Go find a mop!"

Cas helped Meg into the back of the Impala then slipped in after, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her to him.

As Dean set off down the drive he glanced in the rear view at them.

"Meg. What's up with your hand? Should we go to hospital?"

"It's fine." She murmured.

He frowned at her reflection, saw the whiteness of her skin, the way she pressed her lips together, as though biting down on pain. "Well kiddo, you don't look fine, I think we should get you seen to."

"Tomorrow."

"Meg…"

"She said tomorrow Dean." Cas cut in and he pulled her a little closer to him.

Dean shut up.

He swallowed down his pride and put his eyes on the road.

Time enough to talk later.

Exhaustion hit her as soon as Dean left the room.

Cas had his back to her, taking off his coat, bright spots of blood had made constellations across the front. He'd have to burn it.

She glanced down at herself and grimaced.

"Think if I call Dean he'll pick me up some clothes? Don't think slaughterhouse was a look this season."

She pulled at her shirt and then sat wearily on the bed with a sigh.

It was wrong.

She'd thought they'd fall into each others arms and weep or laugh or fuck or something…. Not this.

Not this resignation, this acceptance , like the worlds biggest anti climax.

She wondered if this was how Benjamin Braddock and Elaine Robinson had felt at the end of The Graduate. The camera lingering on them as the bus pulls away, the smiles slipping from their faces as the weight of what they've done hits them. The tiny looks at each other that said. Now what?

He'd hardly said two words to her since they'd left the cabin.

She looked down at her hands resting in her lap. The bandaged one was filthy, caked in blood and grime.

Cas was still facing away, gazing out the window.

God, what was he thinking about?

Perhaps after the adrenaline rush had faded he was now considering what Lucy had said about her.

Heat crept up her body as she thought of it.

"Cas….. Cas, can you sit here a minute."

Turning from the window, his eyes met hers for a moment and they were empty, far away, then he blinked and smiled at her. "Of course."

They sat on the bed together, knees touching.

"Cas…. What Lucy said back there…"

"Don't."

"I just want you to know…"

"It's finished."

"Cas.."

He took her by the shoulders and looked sternly into her face.

"Meg. You have things you don't want me to know about. I get that. Believe it or not, I have things I don't want you to know about me too. I want you to promise me something."

"What?"

"This is it. Clean slate. The only things that matter are what happen from now on. Ok?"

She nodded, but felt doubt welling in her breast.

Cas smiled slightly and sighed.

"I'm going to take a shower. Then I can get us supplies while you clean up and rest."

As he stood to go she resisted the urge to grab at his hand.

Something made her feel like he wasn't really with her, he was still stuck in his head, which meant, to all intense and purpose, she was alone.

He stood in the shower, both hands pressed against the wall in front of him, letting the spray hit him and watching the grime wash away down the drain.

Outwardly he was stoic, calm, detached even, but inside there was an apocalypse worthy tornado of emotion rushing around his head, catching in his chest so that it was hard to breath.

She was safe.

He wanted nothing more than to lie next to her and examine every inch of her body.

To run his fingers over new scars and half healed wounds and remember them all, mark them on the map of her skin, commit them to memory so that he could always find her in the dark.

But he couldn't.

He was afraid.

So scared that he still had the capacity to kill when he'd promised never to hurt anyone ever again. Seeing Crowley there though, knowing what he'd done to Meg, and then Lucy, how he'd gripped her tight and she'd looked so trapped.

She wasn't of course, he could see that now.

Meg was stronger than any of them, but in that moment he had killed without hesitation.

He'd killed for her.

…..And he'd do it again.

He heard the door of the bathroom close, then felt a draft from the shower cubicle opening.

Meg stepped inside, ducking under his arm, she wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest.

She didn't say a word, just pressed herself close to him and held him tight.

Cas closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

Without hesitation.

"Hey! You guys wanna see what Cas got me for Christmas?"

Meg held up her left hand and waved as them, the plastic false fingers now gone, replaced with two beautiful carved wooden ones.

"Well …. Ain't that something…" Dean laughed.

"Yeah, see.. " She pulled all her fingers down leaving the middle one standing. "… I can flip you off elegantly now."

The house was still in disarray, but together they'd managed to make the living room not only habitable, but festive.

Although Dean and Sam had owned the house for years, ever since their Dad died, they'd left it empty, but after the events at the cabin, they'd decided to move in.

… And Meg, Cas and Bobby had kind of moved in with them.

It had seemed natural.

They settled on the sofas, Bobby and Sam on one, Dean, Cas and Meg on the other, to watch a movie, let the beer and food settle in their stomachs.

Cas wasn't really paying attention to the TV. He was quietly smiling to himself, enjoying the glow of friends… his friends, his family, around him.

Meg was curled up next to him and he absently played with her hair, twining it around his fingers.

"Hey guys?" Sam cleared his throat nervously as they turned to look at him. "I know we haven't talked much about what happened, but, I've been thinking….. This under ground railway thing….. I think I might want in…"

Dean frowned and leant forwards. "Seriously?"

"Ah… Yeah. I've been talking to Bobby about it and, well, he's going back and I thought I….. would… too." He looked down at his hands then glanced uneasily back at Dean.

"Huh….." Dean sat back and took a pull on his beer. "Perhaps we should all join up…." He raised his eyebrows and smirked. "Kinda like the avengers."

Sam half smiled and chuckled. "I'm being serious Dean."

"So am I…. We got Meg here, our own Black Widow.."

"What? So I'm the token girl?"

"Hey, Black Widow was kick ass! Then we have Cas, who obviously has to be Hawkeye, what with his sharp shooter skills and all." He pointed at Bobby and grinned. "Hulk. Bobby defiantly has the potential to Hulk out."

"Hey!"

They were laughing. Cas liked that, the warm familiarity with which they teased each other.

"Sammy over here gets to be to be Captain America because of his all round good guy tendencies."

"Don't you think Cas should be Cap? He's the one with no ability to understand cultural references."

Cas frowned and Meg laughed and whispered in his ear. "We'll watch the movie later sweetie."

"What about you?" Asked Cas. "Who do you get to be?"

Dean puffed out his chest and winked. "Thor, of course."

Meg rolled her eyes and elbowed Cas. "If he starts making hammer euphemisms I'm going to bed."

Dean winked at Cas then looked pointedly at Meg. "Well, not many are able to handle Mjolnir, you know…. Because…. Penis…"

"Ok…. I'm going to bed." She held out her hand to Cas and raised an eyebrow. "Coming?"

Dean laughed and sank back into the sofa.. "Sorry." He said as Cas stood up, although he didn't sound it, not one bit.

"Do you think Sam's right? To join the Railroad?"

Meg looked over at Cas and shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. He seems set on doing it." She pulled her shirt over her head and looked at Cas, who was walking over to the window.

After a moment she joined him, wrapping her arms around him and laying her head on his back, she closed her eyes and listened to the steady sound of him breathing.

"You thinking about doing it too?" She said finally.

"I don't know."

"You'd be good at it."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Meg placed herself in front of him and, taking his face in her hands, kissed him deeply.

"I'd come with you." She smiled. "I'd be right there, by your side."

"It's dangerous."

"I know."

"What if you got hurt?"

"I could get hurt crossing the street…. Maybe it's better to get hurt for something important."

"I don't think I could stand to lose you."

She laughed and pecked his cheek. "You can't lose me! I'm not keys! I'll always be with you. Even when I'm not."

"I love you." He said simply

"I love you too." Meg kissed him again and then took his hands in hers. "Come to bed."

The End.

A/N - So here we are kids, at the end. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

I need to get back to writing my own stuff now for a while, who knows, I may even come back to this and play with it... There's lots of areas I could have expanded on and, lets face it, it's easy to get caught up in the pace of the story and leave things out.

Huge thanks to those that commented, I love reading your feedback and it really has helped me overcome some hurdles.

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