Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I didn't update yesterday as I had a few things to sort out and I needed to do some personal writing. You get the spark, you have to use it. Sorry for not updating. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I've caved to some hints in the reviews, you'll see when you read this. The upcoming chapters are going to feature some time jumps and some unexpected things. Yes, Lincoln will get it in the next few chapters too. I'm hoping that you all still like this, my OCD keeps messing with my head lately. Pressures of christmas, I guess. Enjoy and I'd love to hear your views, I really appreciate them!

My new fanfic is being delayed for a few days due to having to work out a few things. Sorry!

Thank you for all the reviews, you're amazing and absolutely the most lovely readers in the world. Thank you!

Enjoy and please review

All mistakes are my own

A few weeks later

Reid laughed as he raised baby Spencer in the air. The baby cooed happily and moved around as Reid raised him up again. He brought him back down and laid him down on the small play area. He brought out a toy and watched as his godson reached for the toy. He gave the baby the small toy and watched him shake it in his small hand. Reid heard a small creak at the doorway. He turned around to see Rossi standing there. "Hey, Rossi."

Reid brought the baby into his arms and walked over. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you," Rossi said. "Where is JJ?"

"She went out to get a few things. I told her I didn't need them but she was adamant about getting them. She trusted me to look after the baby while she went out. It's strange calling the baby by his name. Feels like I'm talking to myself. What did you want to talk about?"

"Let's sit down," Rossi said as he gestured to couch and chair in the living room. Reid made his way to the chair. Before sitting, he secured Spencer in the baby rocker and set it to swing gently. A small high-pitched noise came from the baby.

"Wow, he really likes that," Rossi chuckled as he lowered himself to the couch. "I've read some of your short stories."

"Morgan and Garcia aren't supposed to let the rest of you see them," Reid sighed.

"I passed them on to a friend of mine in the publishing industry, he took a look and he wants to put out a book of short stories that you've done. He wants to see if you have any other ones like Father, Son, Man, the one with the single father raising his son. He loves your sci-fi work and with your permission, he wants to pass them to sci-fi publications. Your stories are wonderful to read and my friend is very intrigued. Want to publish your first book?"

Reid sat there motionless for a moment as he absorbed the information. He regained his composure and thought about it. "He really wants to publish them?"

"He does," Rossi smiled. "I know that you've been worried about your future. This is a stepping stone for you. This can give you financial security again, you can begin a new career. Show that bastard you aren't going to take a back seat in life."

"I'm afraid of being out there," Reid said. "I don't want another person to target me because of a book."

"I know the feeling," Rossi nodded. "You can write under a pen name and only go to limited engagements. People will love you for your words, not for what you look like or how you talk. You've read so many books and have so many of them inside of your mind. Create your own words and let someone else never forget them. I urge you to take this opportunity. You can even consult on cases with us when we may need your expertise. You can choose whether to consult. I know that you're craving to shake off the horrors you've gone through."

"Don't talk about what I've been through in front of the baby," Reid said quickly before looking and smiling at baby Spencer. He reached down and put the pacifier back in his mouth.

"You want to get your life back, it's clear as day."

"I do want to get my life back. I want it back but I want so much more as well. The things I want aren't a reality. I'd love a son or daughter to care for. I pushed back the thought of being a dad but now I know how quickly things can disappear. How quick life can be. I want to, so much, be a father. I know that treatments have come a long way and there are options. Chances of them ever working are so small, it wouldn't be worth trying. I don't want to get my hopes up, only to have them fall. I'm realistic about my future. I will never be with a woman."

"Reid, any woman would love you."

"They might love me but I couldn't love them, not fully. Maeve is always in my mind, she was my perfect match and she's gone. I can't ever be with a woman because no matter how much my mind improves, I'll always remember. Tell your friend that I look forward to meeting with him and discussing the publication. I do want a new future, I don't want to hide in the past."

Rossi smiled. "I'll give him a call and set up a meeting."

Reid unbuckled the baby and brought him into his arms. He sat him on his lap and watched Spencer reach out.

"You'll be a father, Reid. Given what the world has put you through, you deserve a miracle."

"I have the perfect pen name to write under," Reid smiled before making a funny face at Spencer. "I'll be Spencer Donovan."

Rossi found himself confused for a second before he realised why Reid had chosen the name. "I think that's a great pen name."

"I don't understand what I did wrong!" Reid cried as Lincoln pinned him to the floor. He'd been so good and had not fought the man. He had complied for the last few days. A slap brutally came across his face before a hand gripped his jaw.

"I heard you talking in your sleep in the basement this morning. You shouldn't have said those things about me. I'm gonna make you pay for every word."

"NO!" he cried as he got turned to his stomach. "I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I was a-asleep."

"Stop lying, Spencer. You're such a stupid whore! You can't lie and you need to take your punishment like a man!"

Reid screamed as it began. Lincoln continued to hit him through the assault.

Opening his eyes, Reid grabbed his bed sheets in an iron grip. He remembered that morning all too well, it was the morning on the day that the team had finally come for him. He'd been shoved back into his hole and the monster had blocked it off so he couldn't talk with Tommy.

The next day

Reid heard a knock at the front door. He walked over and opened it. His eyes widened as he took in the sight in front of him. "Oh my god! Reid, it's really you."

Strong arms wrapped around him and held him tightly. He remained frozen for a moment before he wrapped his arms around her. He came away with a grin on his face. "Emily, I can't believe it's you."

"I'm so sorry that I haven't been here," Emily said quickly. "I've been undercover for nearly seven months. I only found out the team had found you when I got back. I'm so happy to see you. I came straight from London the moment I found out. Are you okay?"

"I'm better than what I was," Reid said before bringing her in and closing the door. "Who told you I was back?"

"Garcia and the others knew I was going on assignment but they weren't allowed to contact me or say anything. They were allowed to leave messages at Interpol for when I returned. I came back and there was this huge email from a few months ago. I can't believe they found you. What happened to you? She didn't go into too much detail. Just that you had been hurt by the dick who kidnapped you. They don't know I'm here."

"Let's take a seat," Reid said before leading her to the living room. He went to the kitchen quickly and grabbed two bottles of waters. He handed one to Emily before taking a seat across from her. "First, it's so great to see you. I've missed you. I missed everyone during captivity."

"I missed you too. Until they sent me undercover, I gave them all the help I could and I tried to find you too. What happened?"

"Emily, I can't say his name. I can't say IT's name," Reid said before taking a deep breath. "I spent a year being tortured, starved, beaten and raped by a monster. He was my first. He's been sentenced to death and is on death row. He can't hurt me now, at least, physically. I still have bad dreams about him and sometimes flashbacks."

"Oh god, Reid. I'm so sorry. I can't believe you went through all that. I'm so, so sorry."

"There wasn't anything any of you could have done. He had things to prevent the team finding me. He had a partner named Brandon. The same one who worked with the team. He was working with Lincoln."

"Son of a bitch," Emily growled. "I knew there was something wrong with him. There was something too eager about him. I only met him once."

"He's dead," Reid shrugged. "JJ killed him. I can't explain everything. I'll let the others tell you. During the year I was away, he would visit once a month, he'd rape, beat and drug me. Used to treat me like a dog. Emily, I'm getting better. When the team found me, I was a mess. I was traumatized, scared and afraid of every noise around me. IT took something else from me and I'm even learning to come to terms with what I lost."

"What did he take from you?"

"He used drugs to affect my fertility. The doctor at the clinic told me that I can't conceive a child. The bastard who took me wanted to make sure I didn't have a future where there was little version of me running around. I prioritized things when he took me. I thought about the life I wanted if I ever escaped from him. I really want to become a father but the odds are against me. Even trying different treatments, I doubt any would work."

Emily sat next to him and hugged him. "I'm so sorry, Reid."

"I'm getting my life back though," Reid smiled gently. "I'm not going back to the BAU. I can't after all I've gone through. I'm not emotionally capable of dealing with being an agent again. I've been writing short stories. Rossi looked at some and he passed it to a friend. I'm getting a book of short stories published in a few months."

"That's wonderful," she smiled.

"I have another godson too. He's named Spencer, after me. He loves attention."

Reid brought his arms around her and held her. "I'm so happy to see you again."

"I had nightmares about what might have happened to you. It was horrible not knowing where you were. You're alive and that is all that matters," Emily said as she held him. She blinked back tears but let her joy at her friend being back run through her.

Please review