Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. We have a time jump in this chapter and the jumps will continue in last few chapters. I'm sorry if my writing isn't brilliant today but I have a nice little headache, not out of the blue but caused from me falling and hitting my head on a table. Not a pleasant experience. I hope you like this chapter and thank you to those who reviewed. This chapter features a big jump in Reid's recovery and it shows how much progress he's made. Enjoy and let me know what you think! Please!

Emily and Spencer will not be together in this. Reid will remain on his own. I am a fan of Reid and Emily and have done other stories with them getting together but this isn't one of them.

Thank you so much for all your reviews, you're absolutely stellar and you're amazing. Thank you!

Enjoy and please review

All mistakes are my own

Six months later

Reid signed the book and smiled as he took a picture with the fan. He wasn't used to this attention, this was only his fourth engagement at a bookstore. He had to admit, it was nice having a book out there and it gave him joy to hear that it had changed the lives of some people. It took another hour to finish the signing but he didn't want to leave any one disappointed. His book was a bestseller and had garnered a lot of attention a few weeks after its release. He declined high-profile events but he liked going to the bookstores. He felt so much better than he had six months ago. He had financial security again and he was enjoying his new career. Baby Spencer adored him and he spoiled him all the time. He spoiled Henry too. There wasn't a week that went by that he didn't give them a new toy. He considered it making up for lost time with his god children. The nightmares were less frequent and he rarely had flashbacks. He focused on keeping his mind on the present and not the terrible past. The monster had attempted to contact him through letters. He didn't know how the son of a bitch had managed to get them out but he just gave them to Hotch. There were nothing but taunts in them. He smiled as he remembered the last letter. He had taken it and set it on fire with a lighter.

The execution wasn't taking place for at least another year. He didn't understand why it was taking so long but he had researched cases and found that many remained on death row, some even dying there even though their trial had happened decades before.

Emily had visited two more times since her first visit. He appreciated her visits but felt guilty for making her take such a long flight over. The team continued working at the BAU and he had consulted on a few cases with them. He didn't mind as long as he wasn't named or put into a difficult and dangerous situation. He still lived with Morgan but he had plans to move out, although he promised the team he would find somewhere near at least one of them. It felt strange having such a normal life after such a traumatic and terrifying year away from all things normal. He had lived in hell for a year, being abused, humiliated and starved. He'd never forget that year but he was choosing to put the memories away in a box, a padlock in his mind keeping it shut. At least, sometimes. He came back to the present and brushed a hand through his short hair. He kept it short. He didn't like having long hair and he never would after what happened. He closed his satchel and put it over his shoulder. He said goodbye to the bookstore owners and made his way out to a waiting car.

He greeted the driver and gave the BAU's address. He looked out the window and finally relaxed after a day of being rushed around and signing books. It was a two-hour drive back to the BAU. He brought out his leather journal and began to write. He had added to it so much that he had lengthened the leather strap to now close the book. The team had never seen this journal. It was his journal and it kept his thoughts and memories in. It also had the next step he wanted to take in his life. A step he was nervous about. The others kept telling him he deserved a miracle. He hoped he could get a miracle. He was already going for that miracle.

Walking through the doors to the BAU, he smiled as he saw Garcia putting a pink fluffy headband on Morgan's head. He walked down the steps and behind them. "Pink suits you, Morgan."

Garcia turned around and instantly gave him a gentle hug. She came away and looked at what he was wearing. "Don't you look smart."

"Had another book signing," Reid said. "Took longer than I thought."

"Look at you," she smiled proudly. "I am so proud of you. You've come so far."

"Thanks," he said before looking at Morgan. "I can't take you seriously if you keep that thing on your head."

"He offended me, he has to wear it," Garcia giggled. "Serves him right for saying there wasn't enough flavour in my cupcakes."

"I didn't mean it," Morgan pouted playfully.

"You insulted Garcia's cupcakes. That's not right. You deserve to keep that head band on," Reid shook his head. "Can I wait here till you all go home? I don't really want to go home and be sat in silence."

"Of course, you can."

Reid sat in Garcia's office, using her laptop to send a few emails to his agent. His phone began to ring. He looked at the screen. "Garcia, I have to take this outside."

He answered the call and stood outside her office, closing the door.

Garcia went to her door, Reid usually told her everything. She pressed her ear against the door.

"Thank you for our last meeting," she heard him say. "I know the chances are small. This treatment is the best chance I have. Tuesday at one o'clock, I got it. I'll look over viable donors then. Thank you, Dr Isaac."

Garcia came away from the door as Reid opened it. He looked at her with wide eyes. "Were you just listening to my phone call?"

"Yes," she admitted before putting her hands on her hips. "Reid, who was that?"

"It was nobody," he said before walking past her and to his bag. He packed his things. "You shouldn't do that. It was a private phone call."

"Reid, why are you talking to a doctor? Is there something wrong? You mean so much to me and to the rest of the team. Please, don't keep secrets from us. I want to help you if you're sick."

"I'm not sick!" he said quickly before looking at his phone. "I'm looking at viable egg donors and when I've found one, I can use a surrogate. They will try a new treatment using my sperm. It takes a few months but after a few months, they'll place sperm directly into the donor eggs and then into a surrogate. It's still the early stages but I'm doing this because I want to become a father and I want the child to biologically be mine. It's a long shot and even Dr Isaac told me the chances are extremely small. He doesn't even think it'll work. I'd rather try, than not try and never be a father. I lost a year of my life, I want to have a happy future and this is how I'm doing it. I'm not sick, I'm just trying to have a future."

"You've started the process," Garcia said. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I've done so well and I know you have all been busy. They have already started the treatment on my sperm. I have to find a donor and surrogate by the end of the treatment."

"Are you sure you're ready for this now?" Garcia asked. "I'm happy that you are doing this but I want to make sure you're ready. You'll be a single father if it works. Are you ready for the responsibility that comes with being a father?"

"I am," he nodded. "I really want this. After everything, I want to have a little son or daughter. I won't let that son of a bitch monster ruin the rest of my life."

"I just need to ask," she said. "Oh Reid, I'm so happy for you. Please, let me help you do this. Let us all help you."

"I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm hopeful but I'm not running around and pretending that every thing will just fall into place. The chances are small and there a giant risks involved with using a surrogate and picking the right donor."

Garcia wrapped her arms around him. "Every thing will work out fine."

A few days later

Reid laid in bed that night going over some papers from his agent and another set from his doctor. He rubbed his eyes and decided to call it a night. He put the papers in the drawer and took off his glasses. He turned off the light and let himself drift to sleep.

He opened his eyes and found himself in the back of a car. He looked out the window and found himself looking at a forest.

"Lovely evening, isn't it?" a voice came next to him. He panicked when he realised it was the monster. He grabbed the door handle but the car door wouldn't open. He leaned himself against it, keeping a distance.

"This isn't real. You're on death row. You're going to die soon."

"How would you know? For a year, you just accepted things. You are nothing but a little whore. You can try make a future but it won't work. I'll always be there in your head. I've ruined your future."

"No, you haven't," Reid said angrily. "I have a life and I'm going to become a dad, no matter what. I'll never forget what you did but I'm not going to let it rule my life. You're not a monster! YOU'RE JUST A SICK PERVERTED RAPIST CALLED LINCOLN!"

Reid jolted up in the bed, he sat up and calmed himself down. He closed his eyes and remembered moments from his year in captivity. It was just a man who had hurt him, not a monster.

"His name is Lincoln," he said gently. "Just a sick bastard called Lincoln."

Sitting in Morgan's back garden, he relaxed and took a deep breath in. He loved the fresh air during this time of the year. Garcia came and sat next to him. She handed him a cold glass of lemonade. "You look happy."

"His name is Lincoln," Reid said to her. Her eyes widened with surprise.

"Reid, you just said his name."

"I know," he said before letting out a small laugh. "It's true though. He's not a monster, not the kind I used to have in my head. He's just a perverted bastard who kidnapped and raped me for a year. I once told him he had small equipment, which was true. I had a dream last night, I yelled at him in it and called him by his name. He's going to die. I know that and I don't feel as afraid as I did. I'm going to become a dad, no matter what it takes and I'm going to build myself a wonderful future."

"You've come so far and it's wonderful to see you like this. You're so brave and I know you'll be a great dad. Reid, I wanted to talk to you about something. I've thought long and hard about this. Reid, if you'll let me, I want to become your egg donor and I also want to carry the baby. I want to become your surrogate."

Reid looked at her with an open mouth. He let out a small cough before regaining himself. "Garcia, why would you do that for me? I mean, are you sure?"

"You'll know who the biological mother is and you'll be able to stay close to your baby when I'm carrying it. I'll sign over all rights to the baby to you because it'll be your baby. When he or she grows up, then they can ask and you might have to tell them. For most of their young life, I'll just be the fun-loving aunty. I've done research on surrogates and donors. I don't want someone you don't know to turn around when they have the baby and refuse to hand him or her over. You know my medical history and you've known me for so long. I want to do this for you."

"This is a lot to offer, Garcia. If you did this, you'll watch them run around. He or she will be your child too. I mean, I'd love for you to be the biological mother and to carry the baby. It would make me feel better about all of this if it worked. I love you but not in a romantic way, you're my best friend and you've helped me through my recovery so much. Are you sure? You'd always be in the baby's life and the moment they were old enough to understand, I would tell them. This is a big thing."

"I love you too and it isn't in a romantic way, you're my best friend too. I want to do this, Reid. You want this more than the world and I want to give it to you. Besides, imagine the child with my mad tech skills and your brain. You deserve happiness and I want you to have that. This gives you peace of mind and allows you to know what is going on constantly. I'm hoping that you trust me enough to accept. I find it hard picturing you putting that much trust in a stranger. Especially after everything you went through. I'm more than ready to do this."

"I'd love for you to do it," Reid smiled, wiping a tear of joy from his cheek. "Would you be my donor and surrogate, Penelope Garcia?"

"Yes, I'd love to," she grinned back. He came forward and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you!"

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