Yoshiki's first court hearing was today. Ayumi felt anxiety twisting her stomach uneasily. She agreed to be a witness, because Yoshiki's attorney seemed pretty confident her recounting of the story would be extremely helpful. She was glad she may be able to help him get off... or at least get a less harsh punishment. But, she wasn't looking forward to going through the details in a courtroom full of people. And oh boy, did this story gather a lot of media attention. It was annoying as hell to have reporters coming up and request for interviews. Her parents were getting pissed off by the nosiness. Her dad threw a cup of coffee at one of the reporters that came around their house. She sighed, taking deep breaths to try and ease her churning stomach. This would take a while... cases like this went on for days, sometimes weeks. Though, once she gave her piece, she wasn't sure if her parents would let her come back to see how the rest of the trial ended up. They didn't even want her speaking today in favor of Yoshiki, after all.
Ayumi glanced up as someone came up, telling her it was time. She shut her eyes for a moment, composing herself. This would be the first time seeing Yoshiki since that night... Not that they'd be able to talk. She opened her eyes, standing up and looked at the man. "Okay, I'm ready," she said, mostly for herself.
The process had been just as grueling as she had expected, but Yoshiki's lawyer had given her a good idea of what would be asked, so nothing was too much of a curve ball. The sexual questions were the hardest to answer, because even though she knew they were coming, she felt shame choke her as she answered them. 'No, it was consensual.' 'He never forced himself on me.' She had felt a flame of anger in her stomach as the other lawyer accused her of Stockholm Syndrome. Yoshiki's lawyer intercepted and defined the term: 'strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.' Then once again, she was asked if Yoshiki had raped, beaten, abused, threatened, intimidated, or coerced her. She was able to say very firmly that he never once did any of that. So, Yoshiki's lawyer concluded Ayumi was not, in fact, suffering Stockholm Syndrome. The questions felt like they dragged forever, and she answered them all as truthfully as she could. She had to stop herself from continually looking and glancing in Yoshiki's direction, but it felt so cruel that they were so close to each other, yet the distance meant nothing. Finally, she was excused when the lawyer's had no more questions.
Yoshiki hated being in court. The accusing eyes at the back of his head, and the ramblings of the lawyers... He didn't care who won, really... He had actually been seeking a heavier sentence, since his conscience told him he deserved one, but Ayumi was giving the full truth. He wouldn't discredit her if he was forced to say anything, but he probably wouldn't be asked anything. A person with a record like himself wasn't really seen as credible in the first place.
He tensed as the subject of the murder was addressed. Miki's murder... He wanted to sink back in his seat or hide away, but the guy representing him had told him not to make any movements whatsoever. He wouldn't go against him... After all, he didn't want to drag down his career because of his foolish want for more jail time.
Isao and Ayako sat silently in the back of courtroom as the trial went on. Though, they were definitely not there for support. They wanted to make sure Yoshiki got the punishment he deserved, because his reckless, selfish behavior got their little girl killed. When the subject came to Miki's murder, the recounting of it, and Yoshiki's role, the two of them couldn't bite their tongue."He's the reason my daughter is dead!" Isao suddenly roared, standing up, his wife following his lead.
"Miki would still be with us if he wasn't always acting so selfishly! He doesn't care about anyone! His father and I worked so hard to try and put him on the right path but he never listened! Yoshiki was always more interested in just slacking around and making nothing of himself than putting forward a good example for his baby sister. And then, he goes and joins some type of gang!? And allows Miki's life to be used as some type of bargaining chip!? He deserves the harshest punishment, because my baby girl's blood is on his hands!" Ayako suddenly cried out, her words hysteric and firing quickly. Both of the parents had their eyes locked onto Yoshiki with looks of anger and disdain.
Yoshiki stiffened as he heard his dad's voice, his heart sinking to his stomach. They were here?! His body lightly trembled at his mother's prosecution, feeling sick because his mind already thought what she was saying. He bit back tears, just keeping his eyes staring forward. His attorney, however, seemed pissed with their interjection, and their stance.
He stood up, turning to face the audience. More specifically, Yoshiki's so-called parents."What kind of parent blames the child?" he asked first, placing a hand on the desk behind him, his eyes narrowed, "Why is it that, when your kid doesn't turn out exactly like you imagined, you ostracize him and kick him out of your home, when he's still only a student? Instead of helping him with his problems? What, did you think after you put him out onto the street that he'd correct his ways by himself? Or did you just completely disown him, to just step away, and assume he left your responsibility? Well, step off your high horse and fall face first into reality, because it's your fault, your God awful job of parenting, that he was driven to such desperate slums. If you had been any kind of parents, your daughter would be alive, and your son wouldn't be sitting here. So stop treating him like some murderer, when the real cause was your shortcomings as guardians." Eventually, Yoshiki couldn't hold back a choking, quiet sob, his body trembling slightly. It didn't matter... It was his fault... One hand clenched his other, his blurred vision seeing red on them.
Isao and Ayako glared at the attorney, not a hint of guilt in their expressions. They truly believed the fault lied on Yoshiki's shoulders more so than their own. Isao's eyes narrowed at his son, who seemed to be laughing at the situation. "Look at him! Laughing about his sister dying! What did you suppose we do with a child so messed up in the head?! He just doesn't care! He lacks basic compassion as a person. He's selfish, refuses to listen to authority, and everything that has happened to him and our family is because of his stubborn resistance to being a good student and son! He deserves to rot in jail! He killed our little girl!" he snapped, unwilling to accept the attorney's point of view. They had tried. Yoshiki wouldn't let them help him.
The attorney could barely keep his composure, about to fire back another insult. How dare they say those things... They really were no kind of parent that could help steer their child back on track. They probably had relied on force, and when that didn't work, they kicked him out, at such a young age... These types of adults really got to him, but the judge was going to stop it there. The parents had no right to be screaming from the audience, especially since it wasn't hard to tell who was right, and he and the jury could see that the boy wasn't laughing. Far from it.
"Order! I'll have order in this court!" the judge shouted, slamming down the gavel once to get the three to stop. "I don't want to hear anymore interruptions from you two. The trial will proceed as normal."
The lawyer held back a sigh as he turned. "Yes, of course," he said before sitting back down, glancing to the trembling Yoshiki, whose eyes were partially covered by shadows. He placed a hand on his shoulder, and gave him a reassuring look. "You okay?" he asked in a whisper, but only got a nod in response, "... It's not your fault. You were sent out on your own before you were ready. Little, if any, blame should be pressed on you." Yoshiki remained quiet, so he wasn't sure if he got the message and believed in it instead of the shit those sad excuses of parents were spewing. He had looked very deeply into Yoshiki's history, and had gotten the full story when Ayumi Shinozaki had been questioned. Yoshiki wasn't a bad person at all. He was just unlucky with the guardians he was handed onto, and was put out into the harsh streets of the world before he was prepared to make the right decisions.
Isao scoffed lightly, sitting back down in bitter silence. Ayako sat down next to him, taking his hand into her's. Yoshiki would go to jail... he had to. He had done awful things. He had made the knowing choice to kidnap girls and let his sister die. Isao was almost tempted to keep screaming, more thoughts burning in his brain. But, he wanted to witness this entire trial for closure. Getting thrown out would rob him of that chance.
Ayumi sat silently in the back as well, her parents waiting right outside for her. They refused to sit in with her, but they weren't willing to argue with her when she requested to stay for the rest of today's hearing, at least. His parents made her vision shaky with anger. What type of parents...? It was awful. Verbally abusing their only son. You would think that losing a child would make them want to make things right with Yoshiki, but that obviously wasn't the case. She found herself hating them. Hating them for running Yoshiki onto the street when he was just a child. How could they expect him to live the right way when he was just trying to survive?
The hearing went on as normal, the whole trial lasting over a period of two days. For the sentence carried out, the judge ruled imprisonment for five years. Others caught would receive more, considering they had provided no vital information like Yoshiki had, and were charged along with sexual assault of multiple victims. Also, most likely due to the parents' outburst, the judge had taken pity somewhat on Yoshiki's situation, so it was reduced even more. Basically, this sentence was the best he could give, and his lawyer seemed happy, but Yoshiki couldn't find the same solace. Only five years... Such a small amount to pay for ruining so many girls' lives, and cutting his own sister's short... His conscience wasn't pleased, but of course he wouldn't speak out against his attorney's hard work.
Shortly after, he was taken from the courthouse to jail, a place that would be his 'home' for the next five years... He didn't worry about that though. His mind weighed much more on what he'd do when he got out. If surviving with a little of a head start was so difficult, completely creating a new life would be near impossible... but he had to try. It was the only thing to do when his five years were up... He also hoped Ayumi could move past all this within that span of time... That's what he wanted really more than anything else. For her to be happy, with someone better. These thoughts consumed his mind as he stared at the ceiling of his cell, hands behind his head. Five years... was so little...
The two years that followed Yoshiki's trial felt like they dragged. Ayumi had managed to get back into her classwork and catch up, so she didn't have to be held back a grade. It had been pretty awful going back to school and trying to pretend she was alright. All her friends were quick to shower her in support, but none of them could say anything to make anything better. The event had put a barrier up between her and the world, because who could really understand what she went through? Her parents had gotten her a therapist, though Ayumi's refusal to talk to her eventually resulted in her parents backing off with that. They tried shoving her in support groups too, but she remained silent as she listened to the other girls recount their rapes and abuse. It didn't make her feel better that other's knew her pain. It made her feel worse that these things happened to so many girls.
The only time she ever got real relief from the maelstrom of thoughts in her head was when she wrote Yoshiki. Long, sometimes nonsensical letters that would go on for pages. Her parents didn't even know she wrote them. She would hide away in her room in the middle of the night, a candle as her only light. She'd just... write. She would always try to keep the letters somewhat upbeat. The only time she really gave in to rants was when things got more thoughtful. She wanted to avoid sending him letters of negativity, which there were sometimes long periods of. At the times where she could only think of how much she wished she had just died or how much she hated the world, she would write letters and then burn them. She didn't want to send such awful things to him. The longest period she would ever go without writing him a letter was about three weeks when she fell into a heavy depression. Otherwise, the letters were pretty consistent. Every week... occasionally a couple a week, if she had a lot to say.
At first, she would check her mailbox ritualistically in the hope that maybe he would send something back. After months dragged by, and there was no sign from him, she tried asking her parents. Her parents were genuinely confused by her curiosity in the mail, so she just resigned herself to the fact he wasn't going to write back. The knowledge didn't stop her from meeting paper with pen, because she wasn't willing to just let things die between them. He saved her life, he was the reason she made it out of that place with an ounce of sanity. Without any contact from him, though, she sometimes felt her mind slipping. The letters helped... She just hoped he actually read them. The thought of him just throwing them away hurt too much.
Ayumi had been pretty amazed she managed to graduate high school on time. Though, when the decision of college came up, she came to the decision she'd go to a local university so she could just commute. It went against everything she had dreamed of, but the idea of being away from home like that was enough to send her into a panic attack. Her anxiety was awful since she got out of there. She refused to walk anywhere near where she had been abducted. She couldn't handle the presence of a lot of people at times, leading her to slipping off to the nurse's office where she could just curl up and get rid of stress. She was a nervous mess a lot, unable to meet strangers eyes, especially men's. So, her parents and her agreed that she'd just go local. It was a good school, and her parents complied with her desire to study art.
Art was the other thing that helped her, though not as much as the letters did. She would just sit and paint, her subconscious running the show. It resulted in a lot of disturbing art that would disgust her. She had destroyed a couple of her own pieces out of frustration of what they represented.
Still, she could hardly believe it had only been two years. She had finally gotten a somewhat decent grip on her anxiety, thanks to some medication. She just wanted the next three years to hurry up. Though, she wasn't sure how she would meet up with Yoshiki... if she even could. The hope never left her head, though. She missed him, a lot. At points, the pain almost felt crippling. She wanted to see him again... to talk to him again. She had meant it that she wasn't going to say goodbye back then, because she had really believed it. But, with no knowledge on his life and how he was doing or where he was going to go, she feared that it might have truly been it. She wished she had tried sneaking over to him somehow during the trial, but between the police and attorneys... no, it wouldn't have been possible. She tried to stay upbeat, telling herself that it wasn't the end for them. At moments, though, when she felt frustrated by his silence, she wished she could just move on. But, the emotions... her love wasn't wavering, and she didn't think it was going to.
Two years... Just two years, and he was able to walk out. It felt completely wrong to the heavy guilt still on his shoulders... but, that's how the system worked. He didn't cause any trouble, so they shortened it even more... It was aggravating to say the least, that he was only able to pay that span of his life, but now that he was out, he wanted to straighten his life. He was smarter now, about life, and what decisions to be extremely careful about. Then again, making a new one would've been impossible without the help of a man, who he recognized as his lawyer. He had first congratulated him on his early release, then helped him make an actual second try. A new identity. Then, despite refusal from Yoshiki, he gave him enough money to start him out on a small apartment, like he had used to live in. It was up to him to support that house, and he was determined to do it right this time. All he had... the only luggage, if it could be called that, that he took from the prison was a box, it's contents a mystery to others. That was it, but really, it was all he needed.
It was late afternoon when Ayumi realized that she was out of paint. She let out an annoyed huff, since it had felt like she had just bought a new set. "Mom, I'm out of paint again. I'm going to run to the store real quick," Ayumi called into the kitchen.
"Okay, honey," her mom confirmed that she heard her. It was amazing how much her parents had to readjust when she had gotten home too. A year ago, Ayumi's mom would have insisted she go get the paint. But, that type of coddling never helped either of them. Ayumi had to get back into dealing with the world, because she genuinely wanted to get to a point where she would be okay and her anxieties would fade or lessen.
"C'mon, Mocha," Ayumi said to an Akita Inu at her feet. She knelt down to click a leash onto his collar. While she had gotten better at doing things on her own and trying to live a normal life, she still had some issues walking alone. The walk to the store was enough to set her nerves on edge and give her a panic attack at the slightest jostle. Mocha, a very expensive and highly trained Akita, made the possibility of being attacked seem much less possible. It made it easier to go back out into the world. The two walked to a multipurpose store. It had the brand of paint she liked, and she would probably grab some treats to munch on. She tied Mocha up tightly on a bike rack outside, giving the brown dog a kiss on the forehead. "I'll be back in a minute," she assured her protector. The dog understood what that meant, it was something she had said before leaving him outside stores, so he just sat down, ready to wait.
Ayumi entered the store, realizing very quickly that they had moved things around again. Ugh, why did stores always change where everything was? It was just confusing. And the store was so big, she didn't feel like wandering too long. She glanced around the large store, hoping she could find someone and just ask. Although... ugh, she still wasn't exactly great at talking to strangers. She was awkward and uncomfortable, so once she got away from the conversation, she always felt awful. Maybe she would just settle for looking around for the paint. But, no. That wouldn't help her whole process of trying to get back to being normal. She figured she'd wander a little. If she found an employee before the paints, she'd force herself to ask.
A man, about twenty, with dark, almost black, brown hair was working around the store. He went about the aisles, moving boxes and such to the back room or wherever they needed to go. He currently was doing manual labor, so he didn't approach any costumers to badger them if they needed help. Still, like any employee, if someone approached him, he would be helpful and point them in the right direction of wherever they were trying to get to. He walked out of an aisle and carried on, a huge box at his front, but it was relatively empty, so it was pretty light, but he still carried it in a fashion that hid his chest.
Ayumi wandered down near one of the aisles where the art stuff used to be. Admittedly she hadn't been in this store for months, because she normally went to an art store, just because she liked the general atmosphere better than super stores like this. She saw the back of an employee, a man, and grimaced. She had really been hoping to find the supplies first. She took a deep, silent breath. It was so frustrating how she had to mentally talk herself up before talking to strangers, especially men. With girls, she was able to get by pretty decently... Maybe she should just look for a girl employee... or keep wandering. She'd find the paint eventually. Again, she had to remind herself avoiding her fears, or rather anxieties, wouldn't help. "U-uh, excuse me," she piped up nervously to get the employee's attention. She just needed to ask which aisle the art supplies were in. That's it.
The man paused at Ayumi's voice, turning to face her. Aah... what were the chances...? His heart sunk, but on the outside, he remained the same. "Mm? What do you need?" he asked, re-positioning the box in his arms to make it more comfortable. If it was heavy, he probably wouldn't be so relaxed with helping her out, luckily for her it wasn't.
Ayumi's heart lurched against her rib cage painfully at the familiarity of the appearance and voice. Of course... Yoshiki was blond and currently in jail... and she wasn't even so sure she remembered his voice well enough to claim this guy sounded like him. Still, it threw her off as she just stared at the guy for a moment. Realizing she probably seemed weird and was wasting his time, she quickly forced herself to ask her question. "Oh... uh, I was just hoping you could tell me where the art supplies are," she asked quickly. Her eyes were absolutely glued on this guy... it was remarkable the resemblance. His eyes, especially. It just made her heart long even more for Yoshiki's presence...
The man waited for a response, though never questioned her staring. He didn't really think to, since his mind saw it as a completely normal reaction, instead of thinking of the way he should see it if he hadn't known her. She didn't seem certain, though, which was a relief. He felt he was doing the right thing... Then again, half of him rejected the plan of fading from her memory, unsure if he was making a wrong choice again. "Art supplies..," he muttered, looking up for a brief moment in thought, turning away and shifting the box to his side. With his now free hand he pointed forward. "That way, to aisle seven. That's where all that stuff was moved to," he answered, then shifted back to the way he had been before, turning back to face her. "If that's all, I have to get done hauling this stuff around. Have a good day," he told her with a small smile, moving to leave.
Ayumi was about to just thank him and move on, but she wasn't able to just do that. He was too familiar, but she knew he couldn't be who she was hoping he was. It was impossible. Still, this would be burrowing itself inside her brain if she didn't get some sort of explanation or something. It was a split-second decision to react. "Ah-! Wait!"she said urgently, face going red. She already probably seemed weird, so at this point she was just going to try and satisfy her own curiosity. "I-I'm sorry... it's just... have we met before?" she asked. She didn't know why she was even asking this. He was in prison... what was she even hoping to learn?
The man was stopped by her call, turning his head to look at her. He blinked, pausing for several moments. The sides within him were battling it out, both telling him to do things drastically different from the other. Eventually though, an answer surfaced, though he was still unsure. "No... Sorry, I don't think I've seen you around," he answered. He knew this wasn't what he wanted. After all, even after they had gone so long apart, he still loved her. What the big question was was it best to just fade from her life? He wasn't sure, but the answer had already come out. "Sorry...," he said again, going to leave. His chest ached horribly, his stomach twisting like he had made a mistake. But... he didn't think he was... Not only was he a memento of what happened to her, there was also the fact he was a high school dropout. He probably wasn't going to be stable in money at any point... It's not a life he wanted her to have to go through. She deserved an easy life.
As he went outside to drop off the box, he noticed a dog tied at the bike rack. He paused, looking at the canine, who eventually caught his stare and gave one back. He placed the box with a few others, then found himself drawn towards the dog. Up closer, he could tell it was some type of Inu. He didn't know dogs too well, but the distinctive tail and abundance of fur at least gave him an idea. He knelt down, at first being cautious, just in case it bit. Once he was in the clear, at least for now, he gave a glance to its collar, while the dog watched him carefully. Mocha, huh? Earlier... he thought he saw Ayumi with this dog... So it was her's? He smiled faintly, slowly moving his hand so not to alert the dog to rub his head. "A fellow Inu, eh?" he asked quietly, looking over the dog. It was a pretty good size... Guard dog?... Ayumi... She must have horrible anxieties after all that. He gave a deep sigh, rubbing behind the dog's ear. "Keep her safe, 'k?" he asked in a whisper before moving back up to stand, turning back into the store to continue his work. She would be okay without him... She would certainly find someone else better suited for her, and Mocha seemed up to the task of keeping her from harm. It really was better off that he fade from her mind...
Even though Ayumi knew that could be the only answer, it hurt. He was gone before she could even thank him for the directions. She sighed, feeling her mood dragged down by the odd encounter. Of course Yoshiki wasn't working at some store, because he was in jail. Not writing her. She walked over to the art section, glaring intently at the different brands. Really, she was just trying to stop any tears from surfacing. She missed him so much. She was willing to stick out the five years it would take, she truly was, but with no communication back to her, she didn't know how she could. She felt like he was abandoning her... They didn't have to make that night goodbye, but it seems like he was sticking to keeping it that. She sighed, a mixture of hurt, anger, and longing colliding in her head. She let herself rant a little in her head before composing her emotions. She had gotten better at stopping herself from crying. At least, she could hold it in until she was alone. She picked the paint out, grabbed some junk food, and paid at the register. She took her bag of stuff and went outside, Mocha waiting for her return. "Sorry, I got distracted," Ayumi sighed as she knelt down besides the dog. She scratched behind his ear, a thanks for his patience, before untying him from the bike rack. She stood up, Mocha stepping up to her heel. She glanced back at the store. She couldn't believe how much that guy in there looked like Yoshiki... it felt like the universe was taunting her.
The man sighed, still stuck on a few weeks prior. He wondered how she was doing... He hoped she wasn't damaged beyond repair... because then, she'd never be able to be really happy... Though, even with the badness of that path, it wouldn't shock him. She had gone through so much... He shook his head, focused on finally clocking out for the day. He bid a small farewell to another employee as he passed, exiting the store but instantly stopped in his tracks. Ayumi?! He quickly went over to the bike rack, stooping down to her level. Her head was injured... She must have slipped on the slick concrete and hit her head on the rack.. It didn't look bad enough to send her to the hospital, but he definitely couldn't leave her by herself... well, almost. Absentmindedly, he lightly touched her head where it seemed she had hit it. "You okay? Can you stand?" he asked, unable to keep the worry from his tone.
Ayumi was cursing at herself for being so clumsy. She didn't even really know how it happened. One moment she was walking over to Mocha to untie his leash, then bam, she hit the bike rake with her head. Her brain felt rattled inside her skull, a headache already forming. She had tried to stand up right away, but her dizziness made her just stumble back to the ground. Her eyes were squeezed tight as she tried to will herself for the disorientation to pass. She froze, eyes shooting open at a light touch to her head. She looked up at him skeptically, because it was the Yoshiki-lookalike. She expected Mocha to start barking, or at least growl a little to tell this stranger to back off of her, yet the Akita remained silent. "I... I'm fine," she replied neutrally. Even if he looked like Yoshiki, she had to remind herself he wasn't actually Yoshiki.
The man remembered he was indeed a stranger now, so he quickly pulled his hand away. That probably made him look like some sort of creep... but he really wasn't used to acting like he didn't know her. Still, he had to help, and he was not deterred by her statement of being okay. "You don't look fine," he pointed out with a small frown, looking over her head. It wasn't bad, but it seemed as if it inhibited her actions. "Are you... sure you want me to leave you alone?" he asked with a raised brow, feeling uneasy as he expected a 'yes', which would leave him with no choice but to back off. Just the thought of leaving her like this filled his mind with worry, so he hoped against odds that she would accept his help.
Ayumi found this guy to be incredibly weird. He seemed to want little to do with her when she was in the store the first time she saw him. Now, he was concerned for her? She wasn't sure if he really should be trusted or not. She knew that all guys were not bad... Yoshiki had proven that to her. Distrust was her gut reaction with anyone new. Normally it seemed that way with Mocha too, but he seemed perfectly content with this guy hanging around her. Her head was ringing, and her stomach felt uneasy as a result. She felt an anxiety toss her stomach about some other guy... maybe someone more threatening coming around, while she was stuck on the ground nursing a headache. Mocha was tied up too, so, the thought of being left alone sent a panic down her spine."Uh... well," she mumbled uneasily, eyes glancing over to Mocha. He was completely laid-back. This animal was specifically chosen by her parents because of his judge of character and ability to figure out who he actually needed to protect his owner from. Surely his instinct was reliable? "...No..." the word came out as more of a whimper. She wasn't willing to make eye contact with this guy, so she just stared at the wet pavement below her. He must think she was completely mental. Also, she couldn't believe she wasn't shooing this guy off... She hoped she wasn't letting the fact he looked like Yoshiki cloud her judgment too much.
The man stared as he waited for an answer, showing her his complete attention. He was relieved once her answer was no, though he had a little trouble deciding where he would take her to. It wasn't enough to start a hospital bill... and he didn't know where she actually lived. "Ahh...," he started to say, but lost his words along the way. He rubbed the back of his head, first moving to untie Mocha from the bike rack. "This'll sound weird and creepy... But would you mind at all if I let you recover at my apartment? I swear I won't do anything," he told her, looking straight at her to attempt to convey his sincerity, holding the leash tightly, "I swear on my life."
Ayumi stared at him at the lost words, unsure of what he would say next. Her eyes followed him as he untied Mocha and she tensed at the suggestion of going to his apartment, her mind instantly rejecting the idea. Though, then he continued to speak and she had to give him a strange look. The assurance hit home for her, but at the same time she wasn't sure if it was weird or not he was saying that. He... seemed sincere, and Mocha was letting him take hold of his leash with no argument. "I... suppose that's alright," Ayumi finally answered after a thoughtful pause. She wasn't getting bad vibes from this guy either... so, she guessed she was going with instinct. It hadn't led her wrong before. She grabbed a railing of the bike rack and pulled herself up slowly. The blood seemed to rush to her head, or something. Either way, the world felt slightly off kilter and it was throwing her off.
The man smiled at her, glad she was trusting in him. He followed her up, taking note of her dizziness."C'mon, this way," he told her, grabbing her wrist gently to lead her down the street, with Mocha also in tow.
They arrived at a small apartment a little later. He opened the door and led her inside, letting Mocha in too. The land owner allowed pets, as long as they didn't make too much racket, and Mocha seemed well trained. He pulled off his jacket after letting go of her, placing it over the table. He rubbed the back of his head, pausing in thought. "I think I have some medicine somewhere around here..," he muttered, turning towards her while taking a step backward, "I'll be right back. Make yourself at home... you know, as much as possible." He turned into the small hallway and into the bathroom, looking for some pain killers, something to help the headache she was probably suffering from.
Ayumi nodded as he went off to go find medicine. It felt really weird being in a man's apartment alone... well, at least she had Mocha. She really couldn't believe she followed him here. Sure he didn't seem like a murderer or rapist, but she should know not to follow strange men back to their apartments no matter what they look like. She sighed, pressing her index fingers in circular motions around her temple. If only she just didn't fall. She hated making decisions like this... At least Mocha would rip off the limbs of anyone trying to hurt her. She sighed, moving her hand to pet Mocha when she realized the dog had wandered off. Most likely surveying the area, or something. Still, she didn't want him getting into anything. "Mocha!" she hissed in a quiet whisper. She paused, waiting for him to return. When no dog came trotting up, she had to bite back a groan. She moved through the man's apartment nervously, trying to find out where Mocha wandered off to. She hissed his name out a couple more times until she found a door cracked enough for the dog to fit through. She poked her head in, an embarrassed blush rising to her cheeks as she realized it was his bedroom. "Mocha, you get back here," she whispered sharply, seeing the dog's shape in the shadows. She stepped into the room, anxiety spiking high. She was in his bedroom. Oh god, she needed to just hurry up and grab her dog and get back to the kitchen. She grabbed Mocha's collar, giving it a tug to try and get him moving. The strong Akita stayed still, the tug hardly noticed. "What? Does he have drugs in here or something?" Ayumi then asked nervously. Not that Mocha was trained to smell drugs, but he seemed pretty intent on staying in the room. She glanced at the dresser, her hand tugging at the handle of one of the drawers.
Ayumi knew she shouldn't be doing this, but... well, he had said to make herself at home. Okay, admittedly, if anyone was going through her drawers, she'd murder them. But... if there were drugs or roofies or whatever in these drawers, she'd be doing herself a favor in finding them, grabbing Mocha, and leaving. The first drawer was nothing but clothes, thankfully just pants. She shuffled through a couple drawers quickly, he didn't seem to own very much... When she opened one drawer, though, a box went sliding forward. Her heart skipped, nervous what was in it. She pulled it out, glancing at the door nervously. She probably was going to get caught at this rate... ugh, her curiosity needed to be met. It was a matter concerning her own safety, after all. She pulled the top off the box, her brow furrowing in confusion as she was met with the sight of a lot of letters. "W-what the?" she questioned, a familiarity hitting her right away. With a shaky hand, she pulled one of them out and opened it. Her own handwriting stared back at her. Her mind went completely blank, her grip tightening on the paper as her stomach tossed. These were her letters to Yoshiki. That man looked so much like Yoshiki because he was. Her mind hurt even more, emotions spiraling inside her rattled brain.
Finally able to stumble upon some painkillers, he gave a relieved sigh, closing the cabinet above his sink. He turned and went back to where he had left her, but she wasn't there, and neither was Mocha. He wasn't really worried that she left, since she had agreed to come anyways, but still... he was worried she would stumble upon something she wasn't supposed to. He looked around, but it didn't take long to notice the open door. Ah... he was found out, wasn't he? He stepped slowly and quietly into the room, pushing the door to the side barely a few inches. He was met with the sight of her holding that box, the only thing that really tied him to his old name of Kishinuma Yoshiki... His eyes went to the ground and his look grew solemn, unsure of how she'd take all this. He had lied to her, to keep her distanced... "... Ayumi... I'm sorry... that I lied...," he muttered, not looking back up at her, "But it was the only way..." He didn't like being vague, but the situation was hard to put into words, especially words she would accept.
Ayumi folded the letter back up and placed it along with the many others. She placed the box on top of his dresser before she looked over at him. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" she asked with a leveled tone. She wished she could be happier to see him, but she felt the weight of anger drag that down. She was mad. He had lied to her, and he had ignored her for over two years. She didn't even address his apology, because she wasn't willing to accept it yet. She needed to sort through details... She thought she wouldn't see him for three more years, at the very least. She was beginning to house the thought in her head that she would never cross paths with him again. Yet here he was in front of her. She wasn't sure how to deal with this.
Yoshiki found his eyes drifting over to her, meeting with hers. Her tone held no evidence, but he knew she must be angry with him... Perhaps even hate him, for all he knew. His heart felt incredibly heavy as he searched an answer, but already knew she wouldn't accept it. By the looks of it, she hadn't moved on at all these past years... Not that he could really judge, since he hadn't either. "That's-... I... wanted you to move on... For two reasons," he finally found his voice, trying to keep his eyes steadily on her, though it was hard to meet her gaze. "... I'm like a memento for what happened to you... I don't want to connect you to that past for however long I'd be around... And also... I'm not even a high school graduate," he said, his eyes finally breaking away to look at the small room, "Small jobs are all I can manage really, so this place... is pretty much as good as it gets... You deserve better."
Ayumi watched him carefully as he explained his reasoning. She could understand why he felt that way, but it didn't extinguish her frustrations. "I don't want to move on," she said, fighting to keep her voice at the same leveled tone. "You're more to me than some memento... I don't look at you, or think of you, and remember that place. I remember us... long hours talking and making love," she said, eyes glancing aside and a blush forming on her cheeks. It was easier to write things like that than say them aloud. "And I don't care about what size apartment you have or what jobs you take. It isn't fair for you to make these decisions for me... I want to be with you," she said, eyes still looking aside.
Yoshiki went silent at her declaration, eyes now firmly stuck on her. At the mention of their past intimacy, his cheeks grew semi-red tint, though he attempted to keep his eyes on her. As she continued, he had conflicting sides. The one that didn't want to move on either, who also cherished their time together rather than look at it badly. Then, there was the one who wanted the best for her, and perhaps also wanted to punish himself, because two years didn't feel near enough for all that he had done, and let happen, and... caused. He was greatly conflicted, his eyes shifting to the ground. "But... I...," he attempted to start, but lost his words. He didn't know what to do... He didn't know which side to take... He really wanted what was best for her, that was no argument. But what he really was wracking his brain about was to figure out which really was better for her.
Ayumi looked at him as he began to speak, a frown pulling at her lips as the words led to nothing. "Have... your feelings changed?" she asked, forcing herself to keep looking at him. He seemed way too willing to cut ties with her... He ignored letters from her for two years... It was all leading to her doubting he had the same feelings anymore. It was a heartbreaking idea to house in her head, because she didn't want him to no longer love her. If his feelings did change, she couldn't do anything about it. If it was just him being stubborn, at least she could talk some sense into him.
Yoshiki looked back at her quickly, a panicking jolt striking his heart. "O-of course not..," he answered quickly, but even with that said, he was just as lost. He knew what she wanted, and what he wanted, but he was unsure of what needed to be done, rather than wanted. Of course he still loved her, she was the only girl he ever held affections for. After all, he had kept and cherished her letters. They were really the only reason he had found the willpower to give a second go at life. Love wasn't the problem... or, he guessed it kind of was, in a roundabout way...
Ayumi was relieved and troubled at his response. She didn't know what else to say to stop him from thinking they shouldn't be together. She felt she made it clear she didn't want to move on, yet he seemed unwilling to continue their relationship. "Then... I don't understand why you're doing this," Ayumi frowned. "We're in love... we'll be happier together... why keep insisting we shouldn't see each other?" she questioned, her frustration leaking out into her tone. "Haven't we had it bad enough? Why not take the good we can find?" she challenged, eyes staying on him. After all the awful stuff they had to go through, she just wanted them to start a normal relationship.
Yoshiki was further confused, unsure of where to go. They would... supposedly be happier together than separate... and happiness is really what he wanted for her... It's just a piece of him wanted her to have an easy life, and a life with him would be anything but. And the problem with him wanting to punish himself... he really shouldn't mind that part... because doing that would be punishing her too. She didn't deserve what he did, but this was a joint decision, really... So then... what to do? "I'm not exaggerating... if you... chose me, then... I won't go against it, because I can't move on either... But... life will be really hard..," he said, his tone somewhat solemn as his eyes moved to avoid hers again. He guessed the only way to solve this problem... was just let her choose. After all, it was her life, and now that he was already found out, it was best to let her choose what she wanted to do.
"Yoshiki, life is already hard," Ayumi said, her heart sinking at his words. He didn't sound like he wanted to be with her. He kept trying to dissuade her from picking this life... and it wasn't giving her any warm feelings. It also almost felt like she'd be roping him into a relationship. "I'd rather... feel safe and loved with you than have a lot of material things. Even if things are difficult, we can figure them out. I'm not concerned about that... but," she rubbed her arm nervously, unable to keep her gaze on him. "I'm not going to make you do anything. I don't want you to go into this relationship because you don't want to go against me. I want you to actually want it too." She wasn't going to make his decision for him, because it would feel wrong. He knew where she stood... Relationships were about both people, so he would have to come to his own conclusion as well.
Yoshiki felt worry hit him at her response. She still wanted to, even knowing that his life was... a little bit of a dead end, but thought that he didn't want there to be a relationship. He couldn't argue that that's what it looked like... After all, he kept trying to push her away from wanting this, but it wasn't that he didn't want to be with her, he was just concerned. "I do want this... I want you... But where you aren't concerned, I am... I'm just confused on what I should do," he tried to explain, meeting her eyes again, his look somewhat saddened, "I don't want to pick the wrong answer again... So I'm... afraid to make a decision at all..." As he said it, his true fears were made apparent to even himself. He had been troubled as to why this was so hard... After all, she said she would be happy with him, no matter what... That should be his answer, right?... But, so much anxiety laid with making any sort of move, when either one made his mind think of the worse possible outcome.
Ayumi looked at him sadly, finding herself lost with words. He was scared to make a decision... to take his own life into his hands. She could understand, or at least, she believed she could. "You can't let yourself stay frozen in fear forever, Yoshiki," Ayumi said, moving down to pick up Mocha's hanging leash. "I can't tell you what to do. Either way things could end up badly... it's only by living through our choices that we figure that stuff out. I want to be with you..., but it sounds like you need more time to think," she admitted, head turned down so her bangs would shield her eyes somewhat from view. This wasn't how she picture their reunion at all. She needed to get away from him right now, before she started crying. "I don't want to force anything on you or make you choose hastily... so just find me when you know," she told him, moving to get by him, Mocha following behind.
Yoshiki stared at her, a strange sense of sadness and urgency coming over him as she picked up Mocha's leash. He kept his gaze on her, somewhat wide-eyed. She was right... Really, everything in life was a gamble... As long as you could tell which options are obviously bad, nothing more could be done about the future... A sudden fear jolted through as she moved past him, which gave him an answer in the form of racing thoughts. He really didn't want to see her leave, or lose her again... He had come to the realization that all life really was just a bet, and standing in one place out of fear would get him nowhere, and make Ayumi suffer along with him. Who knew what tomorrow may bring... He may lose her, or vice versa. He turned, his look worried, when he made the split second decision to grab her hand to stop her from leaving. "Don't go... I want you to stay," he said, desperate for her to understand he wasn't being forced. This answer was genuine. "I love you, Ayumi... I need to be with you... There's no point in trying to think it over... It's true that I don't want to regret anything, but standing still can be a regret too. Tomorrow, anything could happen... I could lose you, and that'd be a regret I couldn't live with... So, right now, I'm deciding... that I want to share my life with you, and face hardships along with happiness together," he further answered, his expression turned to sincerity.
Ayumi expected him to allow her to pass in silence, so when he grabbed her hand and began to speak, her mind went temporarily blank with a sense of relief. Her heart swelled at his words, happy tears beginning to well in her eyes. It was a lot of emotions hitting her at once, because she had almost resigned herself to his rejection. She stared at him, his sincerity clear and felt. She dropped Mocha's leash, and tackled against Yoshiki, pressing her lips against his. Her heart felt like it was going to explode in the best possible way from the contact. She pulled away, a soft smile on her face. "I guess it's decided then," she said quietly, a blush visible on her cheeks.
Yoshiki waited, his heart beating nervously, and slight embarrassment at his words catching up to him. He was about to try and further convince her, but her answer seemed clear as she tackled into him, relief and joy flooding into his chest. The long-carried weight on him lifted, and he met her kiss with enthusiasm, moving his arms to wrap around her waist. It had been a while since he had last been with Ayumi like this... He opened his eyes after she pulled away, smiling softly at her verbal answer. "Good...," he replied, pulling her closer and leaning his head against hers. Though, now that that was cleared away, he remembered a small detail that was new about his life. A new thing for her to choose. "Ah, before I forget to tell you... I got my name changed," he commented, but didn't find it necessary to pull away and separate them, "For a second chance... You'll have to call me Shiba in public, and alone too, if you want. When it's just us, you can call me Shiba or Yoshiki." It was embarrassing to admit that he had chosen his given pet name for his new official name, but when it was time to pick out a name, it was all that came to mind. It was a name he... had deep connections with, so it was the only one that felt right. She'd also have to use this name when introducing him to parents, which he really didn't want to do anyways, but he was certain they wouldn't approve of Kishinuma Yoshiki. "In full, it's Shinnou Shiba," he added, almost forgetting the last name. It was kind of important, even if they didn't need formalities majority of the time.
Ayumi instantly felt comfortable in his arms, a feat that was somewhat amazing to her. She knew she trusted Yoshiki with all her heart, but she was so used to shying away from most people's contacts. It felt completely natural and comforting with him, though. It was a relief. She returned the leaning contact as his head came against her's. She was just enjoying his presence when he began to speak. She looked at him curiously, a little surprised he got his name changed. It shouldn't surprise her, though. After everything that happened and what that name would attach him to publicly, it made sense that he'd want a different name to go by. She smiled when informed about his new name, a small giggle held back. She had expected him to pick a... well, cooler name. Shiba Inu's were Japan's most popular breed, so by taking the name on, everyone would realize where it was coming from. Still, it was oddly touching that he would pick her name for him for his new life. "Shinnou Shiba..." she echoed thoughtfully. "You're going to have a lot of dog puns thrown at you for the rest of your life," she giggled lightly. She thought it was cute, and honestly she couldn't deny that she'd probably play with the potential puns herself.
Yoshiki blushed lightly, already feeling the embarrassment settle in, but it was fine. He didn't really care. After all, Shiba was the only name that fit him in his head, even though some would argue he was anything but a cuddly dog. "I know... but I'm used to it at this point... Besides, I've done it a few times myself, even..," he mentioned with a small sigh. When Koga had been arrested and their small fight, he had made dog puns, but not really for comedic purposes. It was really used to emphasize his attachment to the name and Ayumi. But now, at his current job, he still got teased a little, and sometimes he would joke along. Other times, depending on his mood, he'd grow a bit annoyed, but unlike Koga and that group, fellow employees knew how far to take it. So, it really wasn't something he had a problem with, anymore.
Ayumi smiled lightly, already comfortable with the idea of calling him Yoshiki or Shiba. She may lean towards 'Shiba' more, just because she would have to be in the habit of calling him that over his old name. She paused for a moment, her thoughts turning about everything that was happening. She glanced back over to the direction of the letters, a question that had been plaguing her for over two years came to mind. "So... did you... actually read all those letters I sent?" she asked, looking curiously at him. It was nice to know he had kept them but for the past two years, especially as the months had dragged on and she got no reply, she genuinely thought he may just be ignoring them. Even with that knowledge he could be, she never stopped writing him. Actually, for however long he's been out of prison, she's still been sending letters...
Yoshiki pulled away slightly at the question of the letters. Of course it would be a concern to her. After all, she had poured her heart into writing them, despite some being more or less ramblings. He glanced to the box, then back to her. "Every one," he answered with a small, solemn smile. It felt kind of bad that he hadn't sent one back, but he had still been trying to drive a wedge. Perhaps make her angry with him, and forget, maybe... But he had read them, and they actually kept him going. He loved reading her words, seeing what she was up to, and such.
Ayumi's brow furrowed slightly as her eyes look down. Nothing he could have said would probably have made her feel better. If he had just collected the letters without reading them, she would have felt bitter. Knowing he had read every single letter and still managed to keep ignoring her... to lie to her that first meeting, it hurt as well. But, the past two years were over and choices had been made. The most important thing was that they were together now. She took a deep breath, just letting go of any anger she may feel towards the past two years. He had believed he was doing the right thing by trying to let her go. She wished they could have had this conversation earlier, but what mattered is they got their chance. "You owe me two years of letters," she said with a small pout, looking up at him.
Yoshiki went silent, knowing she wouldn't take anything he had to say well. She had a right to, after all. To send all those for this long, not to get a reply... She had probably felt deserted. He should have known after a year that she wasn't getting any farther from him, as her attempts never ceased or slowed down. But, he had been stubborn too, and thought that the action he was taking was the right one... Ha, it wasn't surprising that he was wrong, again. But at least he could actually fix this mistake. He pulled her closer and pressed his lips against her's, the wonderful and missed contact sending a warm feeling through him. He moved away slightly to where there was only a narrow space between their lips, his forehead moved against her's and his eyes looking directly into her's. "I plan to pay you back," he told her with a small smile, "Maybe not in letters though..." He couldn't get too close right now, since she really should be heading home now... or rather, he should be taking her home. Even though she had Mocha, he'd have a lot clearer of a mind if he took her back too. He moved away completely, placing his hands in his pockets. "Not now though... It's getting a little dark, and I'll bet your parents are flipping out... At least, I know I would," he mentioned, a little disappointed she couldn't just stay with him, but there was no way. Getting her home safely came first, since he was certain even if she told them where she was by phone, they wouldn't trust him with her in the slightest. For her to be with him for a while, convincing would have to be done first. And holding her past dark wasn't a good starting impression.
Ayumi leaned into the kiss, a warmth blooming in her chest and spreading to her limbs. She really missed this type of contact. She looked at him curiously as the kiss was broken, a small smile on her face as he spoke. She didn't doubt that they'd make up for their lost time in every way possible. She allowed him to move away, even if she'd be content just staying in his arms for hours. She couldn't argue with what he said, and she didn't like making her parents worry. She had to remind herself that she'd get plenty of time with Yoshiki in the future, so she should be letting herself get home. "Mm, you're right. I'm sure they're freaking out as we speak. I really should be heading back," she agreed, making a hand motion to Mocha to urge him over. He walked up, letting Ayumi snatch his leash back up in her hands. Plus, she wasn't comfortable walking in the dark, even with Mocha.
Yoshiki watched her motion for Mocha and take his leash, eyeing her curiously. "You want me to go with you?" he asked. He knew that may mean an encounter with the parents, which wouldn't be fun, but it had to be done eventually. It wasn't like they could keep up secret escapades and such. He'd have to meet them eventually, better to get it over with. "Heh, of course, it'd be more for my own peace of mind than anything," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. She probably didn't actually need him to be around, not in the daylight when plenty of people are around, but he wanted to see that she was okay for his own eyes.
Ayumi smiled lightly at him, a small blush on her cheeks. His concern for her would always make her heart quicken. "I'd like that," she admitted. She wasn't quite ready to say goodbye yet. "But... uh... are you sure? My parents might end up seeing you, and they'll want to meet you," Ayumi mentioned nervously. Her mom would probably be a little easier on him, since she wants Ayumi to find a good boyfriend. Her dad wouldn't be so happy, since his opinion on younger guys around his daughter was obviously worsened after everything that had happened.
Yoshiki gave a small laugh, looking to the side. "Yeah... but that's something we'll have to do eventually anyways, right?" he mentioned, eyes coming back to her and his hand returning to his pocket, "Better to just get it over with." Though, he knew they wouldn't like him too much... After all, he was still, in fact, a high school dropout... Technically, he would've been expelled had he not said he was leaving first, since he had reacted violently to a teacher. Hopefully, though, that stuff was buried, along with his old name. He couldn't lie about his lack of a high school diploma, though... Well, they'd have to accept him eventually. They were both much too stubborn to be separated by a parent's ruling.
"Yeah... you're right," Ayumi agreed, though was still a bit anxious about the meeting. Her parents protectiveness had predictably skyrocketed since her kidnapping. They'd relaxed a bit in the last year or so, but she doubted they'd be relaxed where a boy was involved. "I can't even think of any good advice to give you with them. Haa... expect anything, I guess," she said. It wasn't like she had ever introduced a guy to her parents before. She had no idea what they'd do.
Yoshiki sighed lightly, leaving the bedroom and grabbing her hand that was free of Mocha's leash. "I'll just try to tough it out," he told her, moving towards the door and opening it. It was still a bit rainy, sprinkling here and there, but they'd be fine. They didn't have time to wait it out, since the sun was close to the edge of the sky. "Let's get going, then," he said, turning to meet her eyes, smiling, "To start our life together."