The Falling of Makoto Tachibana
Chapter 2: Support
But I'd rather live telling the truth than be judged for my mistakes
The falsely held up, given props, loved and praised
I guess I gotta get this on the page
Feeling sick and helpless, lost the compass where self is
I know what I gotta do and I can't help it
One day at a time is what they tell us
Now I gotta find a way to tell them
God help 'em
- Starting Over by Macklemore
My mother peers at me through puffy, bloodshot eyes.
"Makoto."
She's staring at me now, her face filled with worry.
"Are you okay?"
I refuse to look at her, dread brimming in my eyes.
She sighs. "Look, go off to school now, your father and I have something important to say to you and your siblings after you come home, alright?"
I just nod solemnly, my hands balled into fists in my grey hoodie, something I'd learned to wear from Nagisa. He seemed like the only one I could actually talk to without feeling terrible nowadays.
These days, I just want to sink into a hole, and never come back.
I don't exactly visit Haru anymore. I tell him that I can't always be there for him in the future, and so he better manage his time more efficiently, but that's obviously not true. He's capable, if anything, he would be the one rising up early, extra early every single morning if it weren't for his incredibly intricate fondness of water. Today, I glance at his apartment as I walk by, just as he comes out.
"Makoto." he whispers delicately.
"You're so cold now."
I just glance at him, emotions flowing madly.
"Come on, I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything." he grabs my arm.
Great, now he's turned into me.
"I can't."
He sighs. "Makoto what's up? You've turned into me."
I breathe in deeply.
"You'll know when you need to know."
He stretches his arms out, and I hug him, ((AN: Yeah um BTW I'm not shipping Haru and Makoto together.)) his demeanor is awkward, but after being best friends for this long, he could understand me.
"Wait." I recoil, my walls are up again, the ones that tell me I can't trust anyone ever again.
Haruka stares at me. "Look, whatever happened to you has made you all cold, and I suggest you come back to us when you have yourself all figured out. If anything, you're hurting everyone else by being all negative. We respect you Mako-chan, but your attitude torwards life is really worrying us all, and if you are going to be all bitter, and not try to accept anyone's help, then you're just a coward. What did we ever do to you?" His tone is mad and raw.
Suddenly, I'm angry. Angry at him, angry at every one because they don't understand.
He huffs, rolls his eyes, and slings his bag over his shoulder, and slinks towards school.
"You don't understand! You just don't! You're so ignorant, and…"
"I don't care."
His tone stings me, and I drag myself along the road, my life purpose questionable.
"Dear, god or gods or whoever's up there," I stare up at the cloudy grey sky. "Help me, what do I do next?"
We fell so hard
Now we gotta get back what we lost... lost...
I thought you'd go
But you were with me all along... along...
AUTHORS NOTE:
Oh yeah, it's definitely getting serious. Stay tuned for the next chapter, Makoto's family is changed forever…. and as always, all lyrics in this chapter are from Starting Over by Macklemore, so check it out!