Later that night the two assassins lay in bed, utterly exhausted. "I can't believe it's been five years since you broke my hand." Clint commented, flexing his left hand in memory of the pain. Natasha laughed. "That was a fucking painful day." She remembered.
"Well maybe you should have taken some medication." Clint suggested.
"I was already weak. There was no way I was taking meds on top of that." She retorted.
"You could have at least screamed." He told her.
"And how would that have helped me?" She turned to him with a condescending stare.
"It would have made the doctors feel better. You weren't even swearing in Russian." Clint said, the surprise evident in his voice.
"I swear when something bad happens unexpectedly. I had an eight month warning- I kind of knew I was going to have to give birth at some point." Natasha pointed out. He laughed at her bluntness.
"Oh, you should have seen the team's faces when I went outside, Nat. They thought something awful had happened because you weren't screaming and I came out with a pained face. Then I said you and Pip were fine but I had to go for an x-ray. They were so confused until I said you broke my hand. It took them awhile to process then Tony just said 'That sounds like spidey.' Oh, it was funny." He shook his head at the memory.
"It can't have been as funny as the day we told them I was pregnant. I think we nearly killed Steve from shock."
flashback
Steve, Bruce and Thor when already in the communal kitchen when they entered. Natasha dropped her head to the table with a groan. "Have some coffee." Steve offered, pushing the pot towards the grumpy redhead.
"Can't." She mumbled without looking up.
"Why not?" Bruce asked, wondering if it was something to do with a mission she was going on.
"His fault." She replied, pointing to Clint who was making toast behind her. Their teammates turned to Clint, waiting for him to elaborate.
"I got her pregnant." He clarified. Bruce fell off his stool in shock and Steve choked on his cereal, turning blue in the face.
"Smooth going, Barton." Natasha deadpanned, sitting up and taking the the offered toast from him.
Stark chose that moment to enter the room, stifling a yawn. He had been spending most the night in the lab since Pepper was away on a business trip and couldn't drag him to bed. Seeing Bruce crawl back onto his stool and pat a gasping Steve on the back, he asked. "What did I miss?"
"Lady Natasha is with child." Thor boomed and Tony's eyes widened.
"You're pregnant? But I thought you couldn't..." He trailed off at Natasha's death glare. " I haven't read your file." He mumbled unconvincingly. Having a thought, he perked up. "So are the two of you- I presume it's yours-" He said to Clint who nodded with a smile. "Are you going to have a quick wedding before Red loses her wonderful figure or have a bastard child." Natasha frowned at the reminder that she would soon no longer fit in her catsuit but Clint just laughed.
"Tony, we're married."
"WHAT?!" Came the collective answer. The assassins had managed to surprise their team twice in five minutes. It was too much for Steve who choked again and sprayed the table with cereal.
"How long? Where? Does Fury know?" Tony bombarded them with questions.
"Three years, in Budapest. We only told Coulson but I'm sure Fury knows. There's not much he doesn't know." Natasha filled them in. Clint and crept up behind her and had snaked his arms around her, resting his chin on her head.
"So thats what happened in Budapest!" Tony burst out, the mystery had been bugging him for the last six months.
"Thats one of the many things that happened in Budapest, and no, I'm not telling you anything else that happened." Clint said with a glint in his eye.
"Was it a proper wedding?" Steve wanted to know.
The assassins laughed. "It was in the middle of a firefight. Coulson married us over the comms. Legal, if thats what you're asking but no paper trail." Natasha filled in.
End flashback
"We should go back to Budapest some-" Clint stopped as Natasha placed her hand over his mouth.
"Did you hear that?" She whispered, staring at the headboard. "Something clicked when you said Budapest." There was another click from the plant pot in the corner. Natasha whipped her head round to stare at it before slinking under the bed to find the source of the first click. A few seconds later Clint heard muffled Russian cursing as she threw a bugging device in on the bed. She scoured the room and found two more, destroying them with far too much ferocity before grabbing the third from him and throwing it at the wall where it broke into tiny pieces.
"I'm going to kill Stark." Natasha growled, heading for the door.
"Tasha," Clint grabbed her arm and pulled her down next to him.
"Fine." she consented, curling up next to him. "I'll kill him tomorrow."