(A/N: So I have been experiencing extreme writer's block these past couple of days. I have three half-finished stories, but I'm having trouble putting my ideas into words. SO HERES SOME KILLER DICK GANGSTA CHRISTMAS!)

Dat shiznit was Chrizzle time, n' Cartman n' Kyle was still goin strong. Kyle was Jewish yo, but dat didn't stop Cartman from gettin his ass a Chrizzle present.

Cartman strutted up ta tha Broflovski residence, holdin a big-ass box at crotch-level. Dude knocked on tha door, "GET YOUR JEW ASS OUT HERE, KAHL!"

Cartman heard Kylez momma beatboxin at his ass bout tha wack word, cuz she a gangbangin' fuckin biiiatch. Kyle opened tha door, lookin like his usual pissed off Jew self. "What do you want, Cartman?" Dude demanded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

"Open dis box." Cartman instructed, a mischievous smirk on his wild lil' face.

Kyle frowned, n' hesitantly opened tha lid of tha box. Dat shiznit was empty dawwwwg!

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Cartman screamed out. Inside tha box was SUPPOSED ta be his fuckin lil' dick (attached ta his body, of course).

"Cartman, what tha fuck tha fuck, dude?" Kyle asked, starin all up in tha box yo. Dude noticed a hole by where Cartmanz dick was, n' realized what tha fuck had happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Both of dem let up a shocked scream.

"MY DICK IS GONE MY DICK IS GONE MY DICK IS GONE!" Cartman screamed like a lil girl.

"WAIT!" Kyle cried out. "THERE ARE DICK TRACKS IN THE SNOW!" Dude pointed ta a trail of circular prints up in tha snow. "LETS FOLLOW THEM!"

"GOT IT!" Cartman abandoned his fuckin lil' dick box, n' then grabbed Kylez hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck knew what tha fuck shenanigans his wild lil' feisty dick would git tha fuck into dis time?

Da two of then strutted fo' a cold-ass lil couple days, followin tha dick tracks. Cartman n' Kyle ended up in Canada. When they was there, they found trailz of dead Canuck bodies muthafucka! Includin Terrence n' Phillip!

They stopped fo' all dem minutes ta mourn they childhood heroes before resumin they journey.

"YOU NEED TO CONTROL YOUR FUCKING PENIS, CARTMAN!" Kyle holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

"WELL SO-RRY!" Cartman responded angrily.

They finally ended up all up in tha Uptown Pole, home of Gangsta Claus n' all dat shit. Dat shiznit was tha Uptown Pole as dat shiznit was up in Rudolph.

Da dick had obviously been there biaaatch! Several dead playaaaaaa elves laid, obviously havin suffered severe throat trauma from tha dick suffocatin em. There was some dead playaaaaaa reindeer, like a muthafucka.

Kyle n' Cartman didn't care, cuz they was all a funky-ass bunch of fuckin playaaaaaas.

They gots ta tha place where Gangsta lived, n' da thug was bustin a nut wit Frosty cuz Gangsta don't give a gangbangin' fuck bout anything. Gangsta was bout ta have a orgasm, n' was shoutin "ho ho ho ho HO HO HO HO!" And then Frosty melted when Gangstaz bangin' seed hit his snow ass. But Gangsta didn't care.

Cartman n' Kyle listened as Cartmanz dick fucked Gangsta! But it didn't bust a cap up in Gangsta cuz dat would done been a lil' bit off tha hook.

They followed tha dick tha fuck into tha reindeer enclousure, where it had already capped Rudolph tha playaaaaaa reindeer n' Clarice tha playaaaaaa reindeer n' Herbie tha playaaaaaa elf. Now, tha dick laid limp up in tha snow. Cartman sighed up in relief n' reattached it ta his crotch. Kyle n' Cartman proceeded ta bust a nut on tha dead bodiez of all tha jerk muthafuckas n' elves. Dat shiznit was Chrizzle sex. Which made Kylez momma cringe n' vomit cuz she WAS SECRETLY FOLLOWING KYLE AND CARTMAN THE WHOLE TIME OHHHH PLOT TWIST!

THE END