(A/N: I basically pulled this fic out of my ass. I don't really know what the plot is and I wrote it. Sorry)
It was Christmas time and Butters had asked for nothing but a life-sized poster of Obama. Butters admired Obama and wanted to be Obama but he knew he couldn't do that until he became president. So Butters decided to run for president and he won. Wow!
As Butters ran, he started getting tired because he was only a simple ten-year-old child and he hated running. In fact, he didn't know if he was even running for president. He wondered if he was just running (plot twist: he was).
Butters passed out and nearly died! Oh no! It sucked because it was almost Christmas, and he wanted his Obama poster!
Luckily for Butters, Kyle Broflovski found him. Kyle was pretty nice, so he took Butters to a hospital, and when Butters woke up, they made out until Butters had his first orgasm that he was awake for.
"Hey, Kyle, am I president?" Butters asked after they made out.
"No." Kyle said because Kyle has a dick side, too.
"Oh." Butters said with much disappointment. "Will Santa bring me an Obama poster?"
Wow they're ten and they made out wow the writer forgot they were only ten and yeah the writer apologizes for that.
"No, he won't, Butters." Kyle said.
Butters started crying. "But why, Kyle?"
"Because Santa isn't real." Kyle said, even though he's met Santa before. Kyle was being kind of an idiot douchebag wow Kyle not cool.
Butters was much surprised and he passed out again.
When Butters awoke from his slumber, Obama was there! Actual motherfucking (not literally) Barack Obama! Butters fangirled and he kissed Obama and Obama kissed back but that's all they did because Obama was married plus he was over eighteen so them doing anything else would be illegal and Obama would be kicked out of office and then fucking Joe Biden would become president and Joe Biden has a really bad name. Like, could you just imagine going "Oh, Joe Biden is the US president"? No? I can't either so yeah Obama and Butters just kissed and hugged and took hella selfies together and Obama told Butters he would so vote for him when he ran for president correctly. Butters thanked Obama and Obama left in a cloud of fairy dust and freedom. In his place was an Obama blow-up doll but Butters was too innocent to realize it so he took the Obama blow-up doll to school and then got grounded.
Thirty something years later, Butters ran for president. It was against Eric Cartman. Even though Cartman lost, Butters let Cartman be the First Man which made Butters the first gay president and everyone was happy. But Butters never forgot about his one true love, Barack William Obama except William isn't Obama's real middle name. I don't think he has one. But if he did, it would be William.
The end.