In the weeks leading up to Christmas, Finn spent a lot of time with me. We would hang out in my apartment and watch TV or we would take walks in the now snow covered streets. It was just like before.

"Finn?" I asked one night as I was making our dinner.

"Yeah." he answered in the doorway.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah why?"

"You've been quiet the past couple of days." I said.

"Just been thinking, you know." he replied with a crooked smile.

"Oh, are you getting nervous about going home?"

"No. Why should I be?" he asked.

"You shouldn't. I just wanted to make sure that you were ok with going." I said.

"Oh. Ok." he turned away from me. I watched him as he plopped into a chair in the living room. Finn had been very quiet for the past two weeks. Being with him was fun and I enjoyed it but he always looked at me like he was waiting for me to say something. But I couldn't tell him what I wanted to tell him. I couldn't tell him that after Christmas, he can have all of his stuff shipped back here and we can even have some of Drizzy's stuff brought up here too. That after everything comes out that he and his daughter have a place with me. Rachel, the love of his life.

Xx

Something has been weird these past two weeks. I guess it could be the fact that deep down I think that maybe Puck was right. Maybe Rachel is to blame for what happened. I mean I don't know for sure what Evi's conversation was about. I never stopped to ask. I just "pulled a Finn".

Shit. Were Santana and Puck right? I mean should I have just gone over to Kurt and Blaine's and talked to her? I know that I let my pride get the best of me but why is what I feel never important to anyone? Ok so maybe this wasn't the right battle to pick but I feel like it's time to go home. I have to fix all of this. I have to figure out what in my life is real and what isn't.

"Rach." I said as I went to the doorway of the kitchen. "I'm gonna go home."

"I know. We're going next week." she said without looking at me.

"No. I mean right now. I'm going home to my wife." I said. She looked at me and her eyes were sad for a moment.

"Ok. I'll help you pack." she said wiping her hands off.

"Are you ok?"

"Of course I am Finn. If you're ready to go home, I can't keep you here, even if I want you to stay."

"I want a lot of things but I guess we're both going to have to be disappointed." I said my eyes meeting hers. I had wanted her to say something, anything that would help me figure out what's real. I know that everyone is quick to blame Rachel but I know that she just wants me to be happy no matter what and I have always loved that about her. She gave me a weak smile and led me to the guestroom where I stayed and began helping me pack.

As we packed, whenever we would make eye contact she would give me a half smile. I needed her to just tell me what was hidden behind that smile. Was it something that would be the solution to all of my problems? Would it help me figure out what is going on with my wife? Is everything that I heard on Thanksgiving a lie or not? I know that that smile knew the truth but I also knew that I was never going to get that information. Not from Rachel.

Xxx

"Anybody here?" I called as I turned the key in front door of my home.

"Daddy!" Drizzy yelled as she ran and jumped into my arms.

"Hey Drizz. Where's you mom?" I asked hugging her .

"The guestroom." she answered as I put her back on the floor. My eyes moved toward the sound coming from the bedroom upstairs. I took the stairs and I stepped in the doorway.

"Evianna, what are you doing?" I asked as I watched her make the bed in a room she never goes into.

"I was getting the room ready for my husband." she said not looking at me.

"What?"

"Oh yeah, he spent the last two weeks living somewhere else so I figure he's used to it, hence the guestroom." she said looking up at me.

"I'm sorry about that but I didn't really want to talk to you." I said.

"Well you know what Finn, that's too damn bad. We're in a marriage and you can't just run off like a silly little boy when you get bad news or whatever." she said her hands on her hips.

"Evi, you have no idea what I went through." I said entering into the room.

"What you...what you...are you serious Finn?" she shouted at me. "You weren't the one that had to explain to our daughter why her daddy didn't come home after Thanksgiving. You weren't the one that had to explain to the guys at the shop where the hell you've been this whole time."

"Do you think I was having a New York adventure?" I shouted back. "You don't think that it killed me to be away from Drizzy?"

"Apparently not bad enough to make you get your ass in gear and get back here. To your family."

"I had to think."

"Bullshit Finn. You left the fucking city and flew all the way home to talk to Dad." she said. "You did you're thinking. The next step was to talk to me about the situation but you didn't."

"Evianna, why don't you understand?"

"Because there is nothing to understand. I think that it's pretty cut and dry. You had a choice and you chose wrong and now you're sleeping in the guestroom." she said before leaving the room and leaving me all alone.