I cant say how sorry I am not to have done this sooner. I personally blame the Scottish Education System for making Highers so difficult I have no free time. That said, at the minute I have learnt to manage my time better so I can finally start writing again. This is the next part of my Yellowstone holiday story. I really didn't intend for it to last this long but the characters (mainly Tony and Natasha) have too many insults to throw at each other. Enjoy.
The next morning the Avengers and family climbed aboard their quinjet and Clint set course for Wyoming. "Arrival at Yellowstone National Park in approximately two hours thirty minutes." He informed them. Tony had wanted to take his private jet but since that required a runway the quinjet won on practicality. That didn't mean it was comfortable. The assassins had 'bagged the comfy seats' but considering they were the only two that knew how to fly the jet there wasn't much Tony could do about it. They rest of them were crammed on the benches in the back.
Two and a half hours later the jet touched down on the bright green grass in front of one of yellowstone's nine lodges. Tony had booked out the entire place and encouraged the staff to leave for the weekend with a generous cheque. All they had to do was act normal and hope nobody recognised them. This was easier said than done for Thor who though now spoke at less conspicuous volume, still had the tendency to behave strangely and attract unwanted attention.
The first night, the Avengers and extended family gathered round a rather exuberant fire that Thor insisted on making when he heard of camping traditions. Before anyone could stop him he had raised Mjolnir and set fire to an entire tree, still standing. Tony had to quickly cut it into small pieces and form a passable campfire before someone called out the fire brigade. They sat a good five metres from the blaze, toasting marshmallows over a small branch that had tumbled out the pire. Tony had wanted to start a game of truth or dare but with children present that had been refused by the more sensible members of his team. Instead they told stories of their past- though there was little that hadn't already been shared. This quickly turned to a game of Ask the Assassins as they were the most secretive people and had by far had the craziest lives.
"How many languages can you speak?" Steve asked, something they would be comfortable answering. Clint blew out his cheeks at the size calculation needed.
"Lots?" He said with a laugh. "Ok, let's think. "English, Russian…" He started, counting them off on his fingers. "German, Spanish, Mandarin, Arabic, Albanian. I know Polish from the circus. Tasha?"
"Yeah, my Polish is not bad. And we both know the basics in the scandinavian languages. I know quite a few more. Does sign language count? And morse code?"
Clint clicked his tongue in a series of dots and dashes and Natasha laughed musically, burrowing her face in Philippa's hair, who was sitting in her lap.
"What is it?" Bruce asked.
"Inside joke." Clint said with a smile. "'Catfish' will mean nothing to you."
"Care to explain?" Pepper prompted and the others leaned closer too.
"We were in Bolivia, undercover as plumbers…" Clint began and even the children were listening, having subconsciously picked up that this was going to be an epic tale.
The next morning Bruce was up first and he set about making sandwiches for everyone. He didn't even need to ask to know what everyone would want. Steve was a plain ham sandwich kind of guy, Natasha liked chicken salad and Pepper prefered egg mayo. The more childish members of the team- Clint and Tony- had PB&J and chocolate spread respectively. Thor, as usual, had one of each kind to satiate his hunger. Jane was always happy with ham and cheese, the same as Bruce himself and the children were prepared are variety to squabble over. At only one year old Emily didn't eat much anyway.
One by one the group trickled down the stairs to join Bruce and until only the assassins were missing. "Dibs not waking them!" Tony yelled.
"I also do not wish to wake our friends from their slumber!" Thor boomed, though how anyone could sleep though his foghorn of a voice was a mystery to Tony.
"I made lunch." Bruce made his excuse. "You're up, Cap."
Steve groaned but rose from his chair. "You do realise they could kill me? The Other Guy has a much better survival chance." When Bruce stared him down, Steve turned and walked slowly up the stairs. Ten seconds later he was hurrying back down them with a frown on his face.
"They're not there."
"JARVIS where are-" Tony's call was cut off as the front door slammed open and the panting couple burst into the room. "Never mind." He muttered.
"And where did you pair go gallivanting off to?" Steve asked in his best impression of Pepper's parenting voice.
"Running." Natasha stated simply. "The same as we do every morning."
"You're on holiday!" Tony protested.
"We need to keep fit." Clint reasoned. "And we're not getting any younger." That was a personal jab at Tony. Both Natasha and Steve had serum to keep them young, Thor was thousands of years old anyway and the Hulk didn't let petting things like age stop him. Clint and Tony however were almost biding their time until their children could take over.
"It's not like we're holding you up." Natasha said as she quickly braided Pip's hair. "We'll be ready before Cap is."
"Hey, I just have to put my shoes on…" Steve trailed off as he noticed that his shoes were not sitting next to the door anymore. Natasha flashed him a smile and raced Clint up the stairs to the shower. "Bloody assassins." Steve muttered as he got up out his seat to begin his search.
Ten minutes later he and the rest of the family had given up so Natasha, now dressed for the day out pulled them out for under the table.
"What?" Bruce asked in confusion and ducked his head under the table. Taped to the underside were two guns and a knife. "Really guys? Is that necessary? We're in the middle of nowhere and you live with the Other Guy, a God, a super soldier and Iron Man. Not to mention the fact both of you can kill almost anyone on this planet with your bare hands. You still feel the need to hide weapons under the table?"
"Yes." Grumbled Clint as they filed out of the lodge. "It's a lifelong habit thats saved my life on more than one occasion. I'm not about to stop now."
"No weapons today though." Pepper was adamant. "Either of you. This is a holiday not a mission. Hand them over." The assassins knew better than to argue with her and each removed a couple of handguns. Natasha then took out four knives, so quick only Clint knew where they were coming from. When Natasha crossed her arms he coughed and she drew one final blade, thin and metallic, from her hip. She threw it with expert precision through the slit of space in the slightly-open window, into the living room and they set off.
"Basically, Yellowstone could erupt at any time and would mess up most of the States and Canada. It would affect global warming and have consequences for the whole world and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it." Steve summarized from the noticeboard.
"Some people say it has the potential to wipe out the human race." Bruce supplied.
"If it does erupt, you are all welcome in Asgard. We treat our warriors well." Thor assured them.
"It's a nice thought." Clint lent over for a better view despite the barrier. "The world could end any day and there is nothing we can do. We'd get to sit back and panic like everyone else."
"That's morbid, Clint." Pepper told him.
"I see where he's coming from though," Bruce said. "For once, when the whole world is freaking out, I'd get to see what's going on instead of the other guy. Even if all I saw was a dark cloud of ash coming to suffocate me."
"At least all of you get to do something when the aliens attack." Pepper complained. "I have to wait for hours, not even knowing if any of you are going to survive."
Tony put his arm round her and the subject was dropped.
If you have any ideas or criticism please comment. Any feedback is great.