"These heels are driving me crazy!" Pepper exclaimed as she kicked black designer shoes off and flopped down on the couch. "They click at just the right pitch to annoy me. All day- click, click, click. I almost took them off at one point and walked around barefooted." She ranted to the ceiling. "How does your mother do it?"
"Do what?" Pip asked from behind her head, having moved silently across the room from the kitchen where she had been baking.
"That!" Pepper sat up and faced the bemused girl. "That silent Barton Walk. Your mom can do in heels. How does she manage it?"
"Practice?" Pip suggested and wandered back to her meringue. "The Barton Walk, as you called, it is easy. Everyone drops their foot when it gets near the ground and that's what makes it noisy. If you use your muscles to lower your leg right to the ground it doesn't make a sound. With heels you'll just have to be even more controlled."
The elevator dinged and Emily skipped in holding a basket of food coloring. Her apron was stained and her hair was whitened with icing sugar. There was a blue streak on her forehead from the food coloring that mottled her hands.
"What color do you want?" Pip asked the younger girl as she skidded to a stop, narrowly avoiding tipping the basket.
"Pink!" The six-year-old replied. "But I checked and there's no pink." She rubbed one eye and Pip tried desperately not to laugh at her unintentional warrior paint.
"That's ok." Pip soothed. "Red food coloring goes pink first." She tipped up the vial and Pepper leapt across the room to stop her.
"Not that much!" She quickly took the vial and added a single drop to the mixture. "That would have been enough dye to turn the whole swimming pool pink." Pepper saw the light in their eyes and realised her mistake. "And, no. You are not allowed to put food coloring in the pool." She would have to hide the basket later or they would end up with Smurf children.
With impeccable timing, Bruce, Max and Tony arrived just as the meringues were being taken out of the oven. Tony reached for one but was hit by his spoon-wielding daughter.
"No!" She told him. "They are for Uncle Clint and Aunt Natasha. You don't get one 'til they're home."
"Whaaat! Tony moaned. "But they're still ninja-ing. We should eat the meringues now while they're still warm."
"No." Pip reiterated. "Wait until my parents get home. Dad said they would finish today." Clint and Natasha had been undercover for the last two weeks and though he wouldn't admit it, even Tony missed them.
"But they might be poisoned." Tony tried. "I should eat one to check."
Pip rolled her eyes but split the smallest deformed meringue in half and gave one piece to Emily. Max looked balefully at her and Pip broke her piece in two, handing him the smaller ate it under Tony's watchful eyes, chewing slowly to irritate him more. Pip paused when she was finished and tipped her head to one side.
"Nope. Not poisoned." She announced. Emily nodded her head in agreement.
Pepper produced a tin and girls stored meringues before running off, giggling, to hide them.
When Clint and Natasha returned the following day they were attacked by a very happy eleven-year-old. Natasha winced as Pip bear hugged her, crushing her cracked ribs.
"How was baddy-bashing?" Pip asked as they walked inside.
"Boring." Natasha answered. "We didn't get to do any real bashing until yesterday."
"The food was good though." Clint put a positive side on things. "The french make excellent bread."
"Oh!" Pip remembered. "Emily and I made you meringues. Uncle Tony wanted to eat them so we hid them in the air vents. Everyone should be in the living room. I'll get the meringues and meet you there." She ran off towards the stairs.
"Welcome back, friends!" Thor boomed as they entered.
"Tony and Pepper are at a meeting." Steve told them, knowing the assassins liked to know exactly what was going on. "They should be finished soon."
"JARVIS?" Natasha called. "I have a message for Tony. Do not use us as an excuse to leave that meeting. Oh, and we're eating all the meringues." She took a pink swirl from Pip who had just ran into the room and started handing them out.
"Sir, you have a message from Miss Romanoff." JARVIS told Tony. Tony flicked the screen in front of him and clicked on the envelope icon. His frown grew deeper the more he read. That Russian knew exactly how to annoy him. He sent the message to Pepper and focused once again on the droning voice of the self-proclaimed genius at the front of the room. He only had to sit this out for ten more minutes and hope there were some meringues left.
"Are there any left?" Tony gasped as soon as the elevator doors opened.
"Nice to see you too." Clint said from the couch.
Tony clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm glad you're in one piece, Birdman." A pillow was flung in his direction. "Yeah, you too, Red." He added. "You're going soft in your old age, pillows instead of knives."
A knife flew over Tony's head, cutting a few hairs on the way past. Natasha didn't even give him the courtesy of turning to look where she aimed the dangerous projectile. Thankfully, by now Tony knew to stay completely still after such a remark and trust that she wasn't really aiming for his head. He turned to pull it from the wall behind him and noticed the coppery stain on the blade.
"Hey! That still has blood on it!" Tony exclaimed and the children laughed at his inability to learn.
Natasha finally turned. Her face clearly said, no shit. "Why do you think I threw the pillow?" Having finished terrorising Tony for the time being she grinned at the redhead behind him. "Hi Pepper."
The two women hugged. "So how was work?" Pepper asked.
"The woman talked in her sleep, that was entertaining." Natasha answered. "What was she said, Clint?"
"Friday, Spanish and Peaches were all I could make out."
"No names or bank numbers?" Steve said.
"No, but that's not going to stop Fury working a team until they drop to find a hidden meaning."
"On friday she had to go to a spanish market and pick up some peaches?" Bruce suggested.
"No, on friday she had to meet her Spanish friends so they could chose the right shade of peach for her apartment." Pip told them. At her voice Tony remembered why he was here and searched the kitchen.
"Where are the meringues?" He asked.
"Fridge. Second bottom shelf. On the left." Max called. Tony grabbed them and rejoined the group.
"Do you get different shades of peach?" Steve asked, having spent the last minute pondering it.
"Not a manly question, Spangles." Tony told him through a mouthful of sugary pieces. "Best not to ask."