(A/N: This fic is dedicated to my friend, Sharon, who got me into the pairing known as Mancandy. Warning for really kinky smut. Like, a serious warning. Sharon's into some kinky stuff.)

Randy Marsh was in love. Plain and simple. However, he did not love the woman he was married to. He did not love a woman at all.

If you looked at the whole picture, Randy had two loves. One was a human, one was an activity. The human he loved was none other than Eric Cartman. The other was cooking.

Randy knew that he wasn't supposed to love Eric, and Eric knew that he wasn't supposed to reciprocate those feelings. After all, he was only sixteen.

Eric had two loves as well, just like Randy. Eric's second love was a love of food. Especially food made by Randy.

Randy invited Eric over every weekend to eat his gourmet dishes, followed by a few hours of intense sex. When the week before Christmas came, they had their usual night.

Eric walked into the Marsh residence, and he could smell the tantalizing aroma of fresh-baked cookies and pies. Randy had pulled out all the stops for this one. He had made a small mountain of cakes, pies, cookies, and other desserts. The house almost reeked of baking goodies.

Eric made his way to the kitchen, a large smile on his face. "Ay, Randy. How's it going?"

"Good, Eric. Here, try this. Tell me what you think." Randy handed Eric a plate of gingerbread men.

Eric picked one up and bit off the head. He closed his eyes and let out a pleasured moan as the taste filled his mouth. "Oh my god... So fucking good..."

Randy grinned, and felt his pants begin to tighten. Watching Eric eat his cooking was the only foreplay he needed.

Within a half-hour, Eric had devoured most of the foods Randy had made him. Randy's cock was nice and hard by then, and he was ready to get to the next part.

"Hey, Randy... Could ya wait down here for a minute?" Eric asked. "I'll be right back." He got up and walked upstairs, a mischievous grin on his round face.

Randy nodded, and started putting the dishes away to distract himself.

Eric came downstairs a bit later. He was wrapped up in Christmas paper, with a bow on both his head and crotch. He stood in the doorway, striking a provocative pose. "Have you been naughty, Randy?"

Randy almost started weeping at the sight of Eric. He walked over towards him, not wanting to seem too eager. "I'd say I have been." He replied. Randy slowly took the wrapping paper off Eric's ass, and then kneeled down behind him.

Eric smirked, and he let out a long nice fart. Randy breathed it in, moaning softly. Randy grabbed onto Eric's ass, and then shoved his face in it in order to get the full effect of his farts. Eric farted a few more times before stopping and panting heavily. "I... I can't do anymore... Sorry."

"It's fine." Randy replied. "Just means I get to fuck you quicker."

Eric grinned, and then got down on all fours. Randy and Eric always did the do in this position, mostly because they realized it was the easiest to get out of if needed. Randy grabbed Eric's asscheeks again and seperated them, causing Eric to let out a loud groan. He shoved his dick up Eric's asshole, as he had already lubed and condomed himself beforehand. It only took a few hard thrusts before Randy came. He kept going until Eric did the same.

"Randy..." Eric panted once they were done.

"Yes, Eric?"

"I... I love you. A lot." Eric turned bright red. It was the first time he had ever confessed anything like this to anyone and genuinely meant it. He was scared that Randy would be creeped out, or never talk to him again.

Instead, Randy grinned and pressed a kiss to Eric's lips. "I love you, too, Eric."

"Merry Christmas, Randy."

"Merry Christmas."

THE END