Never Had A Fighting Chance
It seemed like the 5days went by so quickly. I found the easiest way to solve my problem was to avoid it, in feat that my solution would be incorrect and I would ruin it more.
Friday night I had Ernest over at my place after school, my excuse to my mom being the atypical "We have to study," excuse that always worked. My mom wasn't gullible; she just knows that I would call her hypocritical if she said no. How could the leader of Erudite say no to studying,
The same way I couldn't say no to Ernest. He was sprawled out over the small white couch in my room, reading something on a blue tablet. There were some things I did love about him, staring with his intelligence.
Ernest was one of those Erudite boys who were never going to leave factions since the day they we're born. He looked the part too, with perfect blonde hair and quizzical green eyes. Nothing was ever a surprise with him; I could always guess his next move.
And he was so smart, probably my biggest competition in everything. I would always compare myself to him, to see if I was doing good enough. I could only describe him as brilliant, because I only ever wanted his intelligence.
"Chase come look at this," he beckoned me over as I came out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. I slid the ponytail holder from off my wrist and gathered my blonde hair into a quick bun as I sat beside him, crossing my legs.
I looked over his shoulder, seeing on the tablet some article about initiation. It seemed like Amity would be running it this time, and my stomach churned at it's mention. I never liked talking about initiation, because I didn't want to face the inevitable future.
"Cool," I nodded with a tiny smile, pretending to be really interested in a piece of lint caught on my light gray baggy sweats.
Ernest stopped, and put the tablet down looking to me. "Chase what's been with you lately?"
I shrugged, avoiding his eyes because I couldn't honestly look at them. Then again he wasn't Candor so he probably couldn't tell if I were lying or not. But I had listened to some of the Candor kids before, and I knew a few tricks.
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
I lightly sighed, "Just stress that's all. Initiation coming up and all."
That was how I managed to dodge breaking up with him for the rest of the week. Not because I was too afraid to do it, I just didn't feel like doing it. Part of me couldn't take breaking him like that; for no good reason except I wanted someone else.
On the flip side, Jayson knew that I was dating Ernest and didn't want to get in the way of anything. So we remained closer to siblings then to dating, which was ok with me. I didn't want things to be come weird, now that we both realized that we both had feelings for each other.
But I could tell the whole time he was pulling, wanting me to just make up my mind. His body language screamed "what are you waiting for?" and I didn't have a good answer. So I stopped waiting.
I broke up with Ernest, told him the truth. In simplicity I just said that I finally realized I had some feelings for Jayson. Ernest ended up laughing at me, saying that this was nothing new and everyone had known for a while now.
Jayson and I started dating, because it felt like the right thing to do. And part of me knew we never had a fighting chance, but I didn't want to listen to that part. I wanted to ignore any truth that contradicted what I wanted reality to be.
At first, it was as perfect as everyone thought it would be. Two best friends dating, and I guess we looked like a good enough couple because my friends approved. Even my mom approved, and Channing didn't mind though I did receive much teasing from my older brother.
I guess it was too good to be true, because within one night it all seemed to slowly crumble.