"Los Angeles Katniss, seriously?" Prim demands in my ear on my cell phone.
"Yes Prim," I sigh.
She's silent for a moment. "Mom told me not to ask but did you see the video Peeta made about you?" she whispers. I drop more books into one of my boxes.
"Yeah Prim, I did." I whisper.
"And? Katniss, is that why you and Johanna are going to Los Angeles. I don't think you should go chasing after him, after all-"
"Prim! I'm not going after Peeta! Johanna and I are going to Los Angeles for the same reason we were always going to Los Angeles for!" I exclaim.
"You want to be a singer? She still wants to be an actor? Seriously Kat?" she demands.
She's honestly annoying me.
"Yes Prim, serious." I reply.
She starts to rant about Rory, her boyfriend. I put the phone on speaker and continue to pack, pretending to listen.
"Katniss, are you even listening to me?" she demands.
"Yes," I lie.
"Fine, what did I just say?" she demands.
"You said Rory," I reply. I hear Johanna's cackling from her bedroom and it's clear she's been listening in.
"Whatever Katniss, you better still call me, ESPICALLY if you get a record label." She says.
"I will Prim." I reply.
"And if you're going to be on TV or anything." She adds. "Even if it's just a crummy tampon commercial or something-"
"Prim, I will. I promise. I have to go." I say.
"No you don't, but I love you." she says. I sigh.
"I love you too, Prim."
"Bye," she hangs up.
I tape my box closed and label it books and start in on my clothes.
It takes three days, but we pack everything up and load it into the back of Johanna's pickup and my blue Honda Accord. My Honda is hitched to Johanna's car. With a lot of work, we manage to pack the entire two cars, instead of buying another car.
"Do you want to just drive your car?" she asks.
"Not really…I'm out of a job and so are you. We can't afford to waste gas money." I reply.
"Good point. Let's go." She replies.
We got an apartment at Sunset Barrington Gardens. It's two bedrooms and two bathrooms. We have a patio, too.
…..s…..
We're at the grocery store, laughing at the fact that someone tied a tampon to some Barbie's hair.
"I think I'm going to go and buy this!" Johanna says through hysterical laughter. I laugh harder and clamp my hand over my mouth. Johanna laughs even harder at my failed attempt to quiet down.
"We should add to it!" I exclaim after ten minutes of laughing till I cry.
"Yes! Let's go!" she grabs my arm and pulls me through the store to the beauty section. We're in Target in Pennsylvania. She opens a box of panty liners and sticks it to the Barbie's shirt. Then she pulls me back to the toys and puts it down.
We came here for food but we always end up screwing off in the store. Especially Target, since it has practically everything. We walk around the music. Johanna finds Peeta's album and forces me to buy it. It don't mind. I wouild have secretly done it behind her back anyways, so I can hear his voice when I'm upset or miss him. I know I'll never get him back though. I toss it in the cart and then Johanna and I cover every album with his.
"I dare you to write heart Katniss on a sticky note and stick it to the one in the middle." She says.
"I'll do it." I say. She pulls a pad of sticky notes from her purse and a pen. I never use pencil, I can't write with them. It's hard. She gives me a blue ink pen and I scrawl in my very girly, perfectly straight handwriting and write a heart and color it in and then put Katniss Joy and stick it to the one in the middle.
Then we hurry away.
"Marco!" a girl women shrieks. Probably a mother.
"Polo!" Johanna shouts. I hear someone in the aisle over laugh.
"Marco!" the women screams.
"Polo!" I shout. I hear heels clicking in an angry manner towards us and Johanna takes off, pushing the cart with one hand and grabbing my arm with the other.
"Marco!" the woman shouts.
"Polo!" we shout together.
"Hey!" she shouts after us.
"Shit Katniss!" Johanna exclaims, pulling us to a stop.
When she said "Katniss" every single head in hearing range snapped onto us.
"Wait…your…you were the chick in Peeta Mellark's music video! You're famous! You're her, your Katniss Joy!" someone screams.
Johanna pulls me into a line and starts dumping stuff on the conveyer belt.
"Marco!" the women shouts.
Johanna and I lock eyes and together, we shout "Polo!" and then I swipe my credit card and we bolt. People begin to chase us and I realize I'm being mobbed. Johanna and I toss the bags into the back of the car and hop in, slamming the doors and locking it.
"Holy shit! We got mobbed!" Johanna says excitedly. We being the idiots we are, start screaming about being mobbed. The person in front of us pulls out and we head back to the highway.
"That was crazy!" I exclaim.
"I know! We left the food in the back." She says.
"On it." I unbuckle my seatbelt and get the food from the back.
….a….
"Well look at this, I'm on the homepage of Yahoo." I say.
"You are?" Johanna asks.
"Yes. It says 'Katniss Joy gets mobbed at Target with a friend whos name is unknown.'." I read aloud.
"And people are messaging me on twitter saying I'm a bitch who broke Peeta Mellark's heart." I scroll through the timelines. I see a ton of people are replying to PeetaMellark20's tweet.
I frown and click on it and am completely surprised at what I see. I click on the account.
This is Peeta's account.
"I just found Peeta's account on twitter." I whisper to Johanna.
"Really?" Jo asks.
"Yes. He tweeted about me." I whisper.
"No way!" she pulls away. "What'd he say?" she demands.
"He said 'Stop hating on Katniss about 'breaking my heart'. You guys don't even know the story of what happened. Stop hating or I stop singing and move somewhere you'll never find me."
I go to his pictures because I can't help it and scroll through them. I retweet some of them without thinking.
I see a picture of a lake.
Oh god, I remember this.
The sun is met halfway with the lake, so it makes us look like shadows. We're in the lake and I'm in shorts and a white tank top and he's just in shorts. We're splashing one another. That had turned into a make-out session, which led to sex on the grass. It didn't matter, there wasn't anyone near for miles, and even if there was, we wouldn't have cared.
He said "I miss you. You know who you are."
I don't think, again, and I press reply and type "I miss you too" and tweet it.
"What did you just do?" Johanna demands. "Oh my god." She mutters.
I don't care. I still love him and I hate myself for breaking up with him. He knows me enough to know how I operate.
He calls it the "Act now, think later" as in I do something on accident and then regret it later. I follow him and lock my phone.
On and off for the next day, my phone keeps beeping with notifications from Peeta's fans.
"Now I feel like a bitch for posting that because he can't do anything about it and everyone is bothering him. God, I'm an asshole." I say.
"Which is why he calls it 'act now, think later.' and come on, Brainless. You know he isn't mad at you. He's probably laughing his ass off." She says.
"Yeah, whatever," I mutter.
….1….
We get to Los Angeles and people stare as we unload the cars.
"I really hate this…I'm known as the bitch who broke his heart." I whisper.
"Well that sucks." She replies. "He wants you. He wants to make out with you. He wants to have sex with you. He wants to marry you."
"That's ridiculous." I mutter.
"It is not ridiculous." She snaps. "Brainless, he's going to get back together with you."
"Stop!" I shout at her as I set a box down. "Stop it! You're overwhelming me!"
"You want it to happen, don't you?" she shouts back. People are coming outside of their apartments now.
"Of course I do." I whisper. "But it won't happen. I destroyed him. I destroyed both of us. He doesn't love me, Johanna."
"He doesn't love you?" she slaps me. "Open your damn eyes! He's head over heels in love with you! He always was and still is! He wouldn't have written the fucking song if he wasn't!" she shouts in my face. I shut my eyes for a moment.
"Fine, just because he loves me doesn't mean he wants me back." I whisper.
"You're so fucking stupid sometimes. He wants you back." She says. "He wrote a song about you. he stuck up for you. He posts shit about you and he SAID he misses you! Stop avoiding the truth!"
"I'm not avoiding-"
"Yes you are. You're avoiding the truth because you're afraid of losing him again. You won't admit you still love him. You won't accept the fact that he wants you back. You won't accept it because you're prettified that if you get him back, he's going to move away again. I understand, Katniss, but you need to give it a shot. If you really do love him, and he really does love you, you guys will never breakup again." she says.
"We can't break up again because we're not even back together."
"But you want to be, don't you?" she whispers.
"Yes, but-"
"Shut up! I swear to god I want to fucking beat you right now! But what, Katniss? He's in love with you; you're in love with him! You fucked up, and come on, it's Peeta! He understands! You know he understands! Do you still love him, yes or no?" she demands.
"Yes." I answer without hesitation.
"Then stop trying to think it won't happen. He didn't make up 'act now, think later' if he didn't understand the way your ADHD mind works! That guy is your other fucking half! You're his other half, too! The only reason he stopped calling you is because he thinks you hate him, which you don't because you just admitted you still love him. Tell me, Katniss, if he walked up to you right now and kissed you, would you push him away, or would you kiss him back and beg for forgiveness?"
I run my hands over my face. "I would kiss him back and beg for forgiveness." I reply.
"Good. Now promise me, if you guys run into one another, don't try to shy him away. Let him come, Katniss. Please, promise?" she asks desperately.
"I promise." I whisper.
"Good. Now, let's get the rest of the fucking apartment unpacked. I'm exhausted."