Based very loosely off episode 237 & 238 but with a little twist . . . a Hijitae twist.
Snowflakes drifted down and melted away on Hijikata's lips. He opened his eyes slowly. Static whiteness surrounded him. He sat up and brushed snow out of his hair. He looked around. "Where am I?" He squinted into the distance as the snow continued to float about him. "I remember . . . I came to the slopes as a bodyguard for the Shogun . . ." Hijikata's memory pieced itself together bit by bit. He scanned the area anxiously but in all directions he could only see snow. Then his eyes fell upon a figure lying on the ground in the distance. He got up quickly and let his feet carry him forward, he feared the worst. He feared that he would find the lifeless body of the Shogun and all that would be left to do was commit seppuku. And even if he did find the Shogun breathing, alive, and well; he feared they would never find their way back to civilization. Either way, the end result was seppuku. But who Hijikata found lying in the snow led to a whole other kind of seppuku.
"O—Otae-san?" Hijikata dropped to one knee and pulled Otae from under a build up of snow. He brushed off the frost on her shoulders. Her skin was ice cold to the touch. For a moment, something worse than never finding the Shogun occurred to Hijikata. His fingers pressed against Otae's neck. His own heart beat drowned out the howling of the wind. He shut his eyes and tried not to concentrate on the pounding in his own chest but rather if there was pounding in Otae's chest. After a nerve wrecking moment, although faint, there was a pulse. Otae was unconscious but alive. Hijikata withdrew his hand and sighed in relief. His eyes fell upon her slumbering face. There were snowflakes melting on her eyelashes and cheeks. Gently, Hijikata wiped away the snow on Otae's cheeks with his thumb. His fingers hesitated. They hovered over her slightly parted lips. A cutting gust of wind suddenly swept around the two. Hijikata's hand dropped and he snapped back to his senses.
I need to find shelter. Hijikata grabbed Otae by the arms and pulled her onto his back.
After some time spent trudging through the snow, carrying Otae in the piggyback fashion, Hijikata found an abandoned shed built up against the thick of the forest. Once inside, he set Otae down on the floor and went about starting a small fire. The inside of the shed was finally beginning to warm up when Hijikata settled in next to Otae, their backs against the wall. Otae was still unconscious. Hijikata glanced at Otae and then the fire, and then back at Otae. His hand wavered on her cheek. She was still cold. Hijikata began to worry that she would never warm up and for a moment was conflicted morally but in the end, wrapped his arms around her. He paused, usually that type of action would result in a fist to the face, but Otae was unconscious. So there was no fist flying.
It's to conserve warmth. Hijikata justified as he drew closer to Otae. Her head rested against his shoulder. He stared at the fire. His heart was surely trying to break free from his chest, the rhythmic beating was starting to make his head hurt. He looked down at Otae. The fire flickered and cracked as the wind whistled outside. Hijikata leaned forward and his nose brushed against Otae's. Their lips almost touched. And then Hijikata woke up.
—
The next morning during breakfast at the Shinsengumi canteen, it was hard not to notice that all the officers were avoiding the Vice Commander. Hijikata sat in the corner emitting a questionable dark, threatening, and killer aura. No one dared to look at him directly in the eye. No one even dared to say his name out loud. But of course, out of the whole Shinsengumi force, the only one who would knowingly bother Hijikata in such a state was the First Division Captain.
"Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san, did you sleep well last night?" Sougo asked in his usual droning tone, knowing perfectly well that from Hijikata's drained face, he had not slept well at all. There was no response from Hijikata. From behind Sougo, Yamazaki stepped up and said,
"The Commander's been like that all morning,"
Sougo raised an eyebrow, "Ehh . . ."
The day continued with Hijikata in a whole other world, cutting everyone off with his unapproachable and unwelcoming atmosphere. Only Sougo took advantage of Hijikata's state by playing multiple life threatening pranks on him. But by mid-afternoon when none of Sougo's attempts on Hijikata's life warranted a reaction, he reported to Kondo that, "Hijikata-san's broken." So Kondo sat Hijikata down and asked him what was the matter.
"I couldn't sleep," Hijikata spoke for the first time that day.
"Hmm, I understand. Insomnia can be very bothersome." Kondo continued in a serious manner with his arms crossed, "Well usually I just think about Otae-chan and—,"
At the mention of Otae's name, Hijikata's eyes widened, his hands slammed down on the table, and he screamed "Nothing happened!" Kondo drew back in surprise and stared, completely bewildered. It took a moment of recovery before Kondo asked, "What?" Hijikata's mouth hung open and Kondo blinked. Hijikata turned, "Never mind," then ran out of the room, leaving Kondo utterly lost.
—
It was late afternoon when brute knocks suddenly shook the door to the Kakidōkan Dojo. Otae ran to the front door quickly. It struck her that the hurried knocks and late hour of the call could mean there was an emergency. Imagine her surprise when she opened the door and found Hijikata breathlessly before her.
"Hijikata-san?" she asked, her usual sweet disposition replaced with a genuinely surprised expression. Hijikata took a step forward. Otae stepped back, worried by Hijikata's disheveled appearance. "Hijikata-san, what's the matter?" Hijikata's vision blurred, he reached out, and then all together collapsed to the ground at Otae's feet.
The sound of trickling water woke Hijikata. He opened his eyes and looked up to a ceiling above him. He tried to lift his arms but found them under a warm layer of blankets. The sound of water sloshing met his ears once again. Hijikata blinked and turned his head to the side. What came into his vision was Otae on her knees, carefully straining a towel over a bowl of water. She stopped when she noticed Hijikata watching her.
"Oh, you're awake?"
"Otae . . ."
"Shh, don't strain yourself," Otae pushed Hijikata back into bed and placed the moist towel on his forehead. Hijikata blushed and dejectedly did as he was told. She smiled and began running her fingers through his hair. Hijikata felt his eyes grow heavy and would have drifted to sleep if he hadn't heard a door open and close from somewhere in the house. Hijikata went rigidly alert; Otae, on the other hand, blinked and calmly looked over her back, "Ah, he's back earlier than I thought,"
This is bad, Hijikata thought and began to panic. He looked up at Otae, who was comfortably stroking his head and looking as if she didn't have a care in the world. He both wanted and didn't want her to stop patting him on the head. He was completely confused. He had no idea how Otae could be so calm. They were about to be discovered by Shinpachi.
A muffled voice called out from a few rooms over, "I'm home!"
Shit! Hijikata looked around frantically for possible escape routes when the door to the room slid open. Hijikata's eyes widened.
Otae smiled and greeted the child with v-shaped bangs standing at the door, "Welcome home, Togoro."
—
Hijikata gave a jolt and sat up in bed, panting and glistening with sweat. He looked around the room. He was in his own bedroom at the Shinsengumi living quarters; the familiar snoring of fellow officers guaranteed that. Hijikata stared straight ahead and then clambered out of bed abruptly. The hallway echoed with his hurried and pounding footsteps on the wooden floor.
Hijikata threw aside a door and shouted into the room, "Sougo! Punch me,"
Sougo sat up slowly in bed and pushed his red sleeping mask up onto his forehead. "Hijikata-san, what are you talking about?"
"Your day has finally come. Kill me. Take the position of Vice Commander. I'll be out of your way!" Hijikata rambled, patting his chest and making large gestures with his arms. Sougo watched all this with a blank face. He waited for Hijikata to stop talking and then for Hijikata to catch his breath. Then Sougo responded, "Sadists do not inflict pain upon request. We do it for our own pleasure,"
Hijikata charged forward, grabbed Sougo's collar, and growled, "I'm COMMANDING you to kill me," Sougo returned Hijikata's intense, crazed glare with a nonchalant yawn. Hijikata gave a frustrated cry, released Sougo's collar, and rushed out of the room. Sougo replaced the mask over his eyes, pulled the covers over his head, and went back to sleep. Meanwhile, Hijikata proceeded to the Shinsengumi yard with his sword and began swinging his sword above his head and then down in front of him. It was the standard Shinsengumi sword sweep training. Hijikata had the mind set that if he concentrated on his training hard enough, he might just be able to forget the child with the v-shaped bangs.
Considering Hijikata's history with weird dreams, these dreams were nothing.