Shinpachi rounded a corner and stopped in his tracks. Otae was two halls down, running her hand over a small handkerchief tied up to hang dry. The setting sun shone down through the open doors and illuminated the scene. Shinpachi was frozen in surprise. Otae had a genuinely caring and affectionate look on her face. Shinpachi felt like he was seeing the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. An extreme rarity. Then Otae started to clear away the small tub at her feet and with one last smile at the handkerchief she disappeared into the house. Shinpachi stepped forward with caution. He leaned into the hall to make sure his older sister had gone about to managing other businesses. Then he walked over to the handkerchief and regarded it with a quizzical glare. Shinpachi squinted. An embroidered yellow tulip in one corner. The gears began to turn in his head. His hand reached out. Isn't that . . .?

"Shin-chan you're home early,"

"Sis!" Shinpachi jumped back in surprise as Otae stepped out from behind him.

"Why the surprise? Were you doing something suspicious?"

"N-n-no! No way!" Shinpachi waved his arms in animated protest.

Otae stayed smiling sharply at Shinpachi, ". . . Really?"

Shinpachi gulped and then bashfully admitted, "The truth is . . . that handkerchief, Sis, where did you get it?"

"That handkerchief?" and suddenly Otae was blushing and the one to bashfully respond, "It was a gift."

Shinpachi was staring wide eyed at Otae, not believing his eyes and ears, "F-from who?!"

"Huh?" Otae blinked and then turned away, "I-it's just a replacement since my old one was so stained and used already. Really Shin-chan, it's not polite to be so nosy."

Shinpachi stared, stumped at Otae shrugging him off, and then looked back at the hanging handkerchief. Shinpachi knew Otae wasn't the type to use her handkerchief so often that it would wear out and have to be replaced. His eyes narrowed behind the frames of his glasses. He thought back to that day at the old lady's shop. Hijikata-san . . . Hijikata-san must have been told to buy this handkerchief by Kondo! And somehow Sis accepted it as a gift from Kondo!

Now, Shinpachi can't be blamed for his misguided conclusion. He is either too convinced that Hijikata and Otae have not met up enough to form any kind of relationship, or is too shocked by the chance that Otae is showing even a speck of interest in Kondo because of his persistent courting. Either way, Shinpachi completely skipped Hijikata in his mind as a suspicious person and latched onto the strong belief that Kondo was the clear target that needed to be obliterated. There's good and bad to this.

—

In the morning the Shinsengumi members gathered around the yard, watching their Vice Commander swing repeatedly again and again. Worried murmurs ran through the crowd until their Commander stepped through the group.

"What's going on?"

The Shinsengumi stepped aside as Kondo came to front of the gathering. He blinked in surprise when he saw Hijikata, swinging as if striking a million imaginary wooden blocks.

"Toshi." Hijikata didn't respond. "Toshi, what are you doing?" Hijikata said nothing again, he was completely immersed in his training. Kondo stared in shock. "Toshi . . . could it be you— you . . . you're mad at me for using your towel without asking?!" Kondo broke into dramatic tears with his hands held shamefully up to his face. The other Shinsengumi members jumped in surprise at the sudden weeping of their Commander and tried to reassure the crying gorilla.

"He's not mad at you Commander!"

"Don't cry!"

"You can use my towel instead!"

Hijikata, oblivious to this all, continued to swing with all his might.

Over the next few days Hijikata stayed pretty much the same; training around the clock and when he wasn't, he was on patrol duty, eating mayonnaise topped meals, or finishing back logged paperwork. Sougo got bored of this new Hijikata very quickly and went off to bother other people, such as a particular red-haired 'China' girl and silver-haired 'Boss'. The other Shinsengumi members were first scared out of their wits at the new Hijikata but they started to warm up to it since he was yelling much less at them. Kondo . . . well Kondo cried while rocking back and forth in his office, still worried that Hijikata hated him for borrowing his towel without asking.

After a few more days, over one beef ramen bowl with 500mL of mayonnaise piled on top of it, Hijikata came to the conclusion that he must avoid Otae and his feelings towards her would stop developing. Yes, keep believing that Hijikata. So for awhile Hijikata functioned that way by training and pouring himself into his work. But soon Otae seemed to be popping up everywhere he went. During patrol duty she was walking by on the bridge with Kagura, at the convenience store she was buying more Bargain Dash, even randomly on the street Hijikata would turn, sure that he had just saw a glimpse of her from the corner of his eye. It soon got to the point where he simply couldn't avoid her and that he was being naturally drawn to her.

"Miss would you like to make some quick money? If you'll listen to this lonely old man's heart, he'll—," The 'lonely old man' was lifted into the air with one hand and a dark looking Otae asked,

"Would you like to have a quick death?"

"There will be no 'quick deaths' while I'm on duty," Hijikata interjected, his sheathed sword in between Otae's killer glare and the now cowering 'lonely old man'. "Put him back on the ground." Hijikata said firmly. Otae seemed to consider that thought for a bit but in the end she let go of the man's collar and he dropped pitifully to the ground. Quickly he scampered out of sight.

"Oh my, there goes a particularly large cockroach," Otae remarked calmly. She pointed in the direction and turned back to look wide eyed at Hijikata, "Why aren't you doing anything about this cockroach infestation?"

Hijikata drew out a sigh of smoke and lifted the cigarette from his mouth, all the while not making direct eye contact with Otae's doe eyed look, because then he would definitely have to do something about the 'cockroach infestation'. His willpower wouldn't be able to stand against her involuntary puppy dog eyes. "Don't hold it against him, his wife died recently." Hijikata inhaled softly, "He must be lonely."

Otae stared at Hijikata. "You say that with such empathy, how lonely you must be, Hijikata-san."

Hijikata couldn't help it this time. He looked right at Otae. Damn it, he thought. He actually missed this.

The next few weeks Hijikata tried to renew his 'Otae-free' lifestyle. He was stricter and more alert. And yet he still ended up seeing her everywhere and anywhere. He even got pulled into watching a movie with her on his day off. Otae insisted that Hijikata had cried but he profusely denied the claim (while sniffing and batting away some non-existent dust at the corner of his eye). The next time he saw her he got pulled into helping her buy a birthday present for a friend. He asked her if this friend was male or female. She said female. He felt relieved and then wanted to punch himself for feeling that way and for eventually spending the whole day shopping with Otae. Of course Hijikata's strange behavior didn't go unnoticed by Otae. She could count the times he averted his eyes when she looked straight at him. She had seen him frustratedly putting his head into his hands in defeat whenever he walked away from another day spent with her. She knew something was wrong, but she didn't know what.

—

One day, while driving on patrol, Kondo suddenly told Hijikata to pull over.

"What?"

"Stop, stop! Quickly! It's— OTAAAEEEE-CHAAAAAN!~" Kondo called while leaning out of the passenger seat window. Hijikata's heart sank as he hit the brakes. Otae stood on the street with a bag of groceries hanging on her wrist. "Otae-chan, heyyy! It's me—," Kondo continued to ramble happily. Hijikata watched her as she turned to face them. Her uninterested eyes passed Kondo and then fell on Hijikata. He looked away. Otae blinked and her eyes wavered. Kondo said something about Otae's friend's birthday. Both Otae and Hijikata flinched at Kondo's words. How does he know . . . ?

Otae stared now at the clueless yapping Kondo and then at Hijikata, who wasn't facing her, he had his face turned to the window. He couldn't face her. They both didn't know Kondo knew about Otae's friend's birthday because he is, after all, Otae's most dedicated stalker. Instead Otae, unfortunately, misjudged the situation. She took herself as a fool for ever thinking that Hijikata might have been interested in her. He had only gotten close to her to get information to Kondo. Otae turned and stormed away, despite Kondo's dismayed calls. Hijikata continued to concentrate very hard on that spot on the window. Otae felt her stomach twisting as she thought, It was all for his loyalty to his Commander.

—

Otae knelt on the floor in her room. Her thumbs worked into the folded handkerchief in her hands. She reached over to a small accessory cabinet and pulled open the top miniscule drawer. She reached in and then lifted a movie ticket out. She stared at the words 'Lie to Me' on the ticket and her eyebrows bunched together. She slammed the drawer shut. Then she looked down at the handkerchief. A yellow tulip in the corner.

—

A sliver of smoke ascended to the evening sky. Hijikata sat on the river bank with a cigarette between his fingers and a lost look in his eyes. Everything seemed so far away; the children playing, couples laughing, and the elderly taking walks as the sun set around them. Hijikata didn't notice them at all. There was only one thing Hijikata wouldn't— couldn't— help but notice.

"Otae," Hijikata looked up and was met with the ever smiling face of Otae. But this time the smile was different. It was constrained. When Hijikata looked closer, he realized that Otae's knuckles had gone white from clutching something tightly in her hand. The handkerchief wrapped up in the same stripped paper Hijikata gave it to her in. Hijikata stared in surprise and confusion.

Otae, still smiling— always smiling, "Have you no manners Hijikata-san? Has no one told you that it's rude to lead people on?"

She threw the small package at Hijikata. In a flash the smile disappeared and an expression of pure hurt spread over Otae. Hijikata's heart caught. She turned to leave but Hijikata grabbed her by the elbow.

"Wait—,"

"Let go."

"I can't." Otae turned back and her eyes met his. "I—,"

"Otaaaeee-chan~" Kondo called out suddenly, running happily at full speed towards Otae, only when he got closer did he notice Hijikata and asked, "Eh Toshi, what are you doing here?"

Hijikata quickly released his grip on Otae and looked over at his Commander. Otae looked down at where Hijikata's firm hold still lingered. She waited for Hijikata to say something, anything at all. But he remained silent. Otae closed her eyes, That's right, there is nothing to say because there is nothing. There was never anything between us.

Otae opened her eyes and remarked, bitterly sweet, "The Shinsengumi have so much time on their hands. Here I was taking a stroll by the river side and then I stumbled upon the Vice Commander smoking and slacking off. Don't you have criminals to be chasing?" Hijikata watched Otae with his own pain and confusion spreading. Kondo, on the other hand, had not caught the tense drift of the conversation and immediately offered to escort Otae back home. In one motion Otae grabbed Kondo's face, raised him off the ground and muttered, through forming tears, "Escort yourself to the bottom of the river." Kondo flew threw the air as Otae turned away, not sparing a single glance at Hijikata.

This was the moment where Hijikata was supposed to go running to save the Commander. This was the moment where he was supposed to ignore the receding back of Otae, her ponytail swinging left to right. This wasn't the moment where he was supposed to stand, watching the girl he loves walk away. Hijikata's feet began to move— but to Kondo's side, or to pull Otae back?