CHAPTER 1
The cherry blossom petals danced with the passing wind overhead and Haruka watched their elegant movement in a daze. The peace that he felt when he just sat on the ground with his back against the trunk of the cherry blossom tree, his legs straightened with one over the other and with no sound to disturb his peace of mind but the gentle rustling of the leaves when the wind brushed over them, it's almost satisfying. Except, there's a feeling in him every time that he watched the cherry blossom bloom and pass each year that there's something lacking.
Haruka's eyelids slowly fell over his blue irises and he was just at the point of going over to the depths of his consciousness when he heard footsteps slowly nearing him. He assumed that it was his childhood best friend, Tachibana Makoto, so he didn't bother to open his eyes and just continued on in his half-asleep state.
"Huh, so this tree is still alive."
A voice that Haruka had not heard before but strangely sounded familiar to him said. His heart leapt at the sound of it and his pulse quickened. He hesitated on giving in to oblivion when he suspected he knew the owner of that voice. But it couldn't be. There was no way…
"Hmph, and this idiot's still hanging out here."
After hearing that statement, Haruka full on fought for consciousness. He wanted to confirm if his suspicion was right even though he still doubted that that person would be here, because it wasn't just possible so he shouldn't feel hopeful.
His struggle against sleep was futile and this was a first that he didn't actually welcome the dreamland so maybe that's why his body wouldn't listen to him. He heard of footsteps slowly going away and he tried again to open his eyes and see the person of the voice. Still, because he couldn't really believe that the person in mind would be back, and that his hopes were surely rekindled for nothing, he gave up on his struggles and let sleep take him away from reality.
Haruka awoke at the touch on his shoulder and at the urgent calling of his name, "Haru!" that could only come from a certain childhood best friend. He slowly lifted his eyelids and blinked a few times for his vision to focus then let out a yawn at the sight of his friend, "Makoto."
"Haru, let's get to class!" Makoto exclaimed in his usual gentle and loving tone. "It's already the second day, you should go to class properly!"
As Makoto nagged at him, Haruka looked around him and found the surrounding empty aside from himself and Makoto. He wondered if the voice he heard had only been a figment of his imagination in his dreams and he felt just a slight bit of disappointment. What was he expecting anyway when he already knew that it was just impossible?
"Haru, what's wrong?" It was just like Makoto to notice even the slightest change in him. He just shook his head and replied, "Nothing."
Makoto held out his hand to Haruka and the latter took it and he was pulled up to his feet. He dusted the back of his trousers then heard Makoto giggle. He looked at the brunette questioningly. "You have petals on top of your head." Haruka shook his head, making the petals on him fall away.
They started to walk back towards the school building as Makoto continued to chatter. "Everyone in the class is really enthusiastic. Can you believe it? We actually got a female teacher for homeroom! And she also teaches classic literature. Her name is Amakata Miho-sensei and the class even gave her a nickname." Makoto gave out a small laugh. "And then…"
Haruka waited for the rest but it didn't come. So he looked up at Makoto, "And then…?"
Makoto glanced at him and stared for a bit before putting on his cheerful smile and continued, "And then, as second years, seems like we're going on a trip with the class somewhere."
After hearing the rest that wasn't of his interest, Haruka continued to listen in silence and drifted off with his own thoughts.
They finally reached the stairs the led to the second floor where the second year classrooms were and were just climbing it when they heard running footsteps and a voice calling out to them, "Mako-chan! Haru-chan!" The two paused in the middle of the stairs and turned to look at who had called them so informally. They were met by a beam from a small blond who cheerfully waved at them.
The two just stared at the blond for a second until Makoto gasped and called out, "Nagisa?!" Haruka's expression relaxed a bit and he repeated, "Nagisa?"
Nagisa ran up to them and jumped to hug them tightly as he rambled, "Mako-chan, Haru-chan, I missed you! I've always wanted to come back and see you guys!"
Makoto looked at Nagisa, his surprise still visible on his face. "But I thought you'd be with your grandparents until university! What happened?"
"I begged my parents to let me come back here." Nagisa shrugged and pouted. "In exchange, I have to study well and get into the top rankings and behave. But I couldn't bear to stay with my grandparents! I wanted to be with you guys no matter what! And it was so boring there."
"I'm glad they let you come back!" Makoto said with a pleasant smile.
The bell rang for the classes to start and Nagisa took hold of both Makoto and Haruka's hand. "Mako-chan, Haru-chan, let's eat lunch together! Let's go to that tree just like the old times, alright?"
Makoto nodded enthusiastically. "We'll go!"
"See you later then!" Nagisa waved and hopped away.
Haruka turned away and started walking up the stairs again with Makoto following after him. As they continued on their way towards the classroom, Makoto started talking again. "Nagisa had not changed at all. Actually, the three of us had not changed at all. I wonder how much Rin had changed over the years."
Haruka's heart skipped a beat and he closed his eyes briefly to calm himself. He also wondered if Rin had changed at all or if he was still the same cheerful, nosy, stubborn brat that he was when they were still children. Then he couldn't help imagining if Rin was with them at the moment, laughing and annoying and arguing with him. There's was a painful ache at his chest at the thought of it so he shooed away the idea. It was impossible. It wouldn't happen. Things could never be that way.
They stopped in front of a door and Makoto slid it open and they entered. Haruka almost bumped unto Makoto when the latter suddenly stopped by the entrance and murmured, "Not here."
Haruka gave him a puzzled look but Makoto only smiled at him. "It's nothing." He chose not to pry on and just proceeded inside, heading towards his assigned seat.
Upon reaching the cherry blossom tree that sat in the middle of other trees, Haruka went straight to it and took his usual seat underneath it, his back against the trunk. He was expecting for Makoto to have followed him and take a seat somewhere beside him but instead, Haruka found the brunette standing at the makeshift entrance of the place that was only parted bushes and looking around the area as if in search of something.
Ever since they'd reached the classroom earlier that morning, Haruka had noticed his best friend acting rather unsettled. He stared up at him as he, Makoto, walked to him and sat down on Haruka's right side, gently putting down their lunch boxes on the grass.
"Makoto." The addressed person looked at him with raised eyebrows and a smile. "You've been acting strange. What is it?"
Makoto just paused before smiling and answering, "I was just wondering if Nagisa would be here already. It's just been the two of us here this past few years so I'm feeling excited for having an old friend join us again. Wouldn't it be nice if the four of us could sit under this tree together again just like in the past?"
The image of the scenario Makoto was talking about flashed in Haruka's mind and he felt the pang of pain on his chest again. He looked up at the falling petals of the cherry blossom, showering them gently in pink and he longed to show this sight with a certain someone.
"Ah, you're here!" Nagisa's cheery voice chirped and the two older teens saw the blond running their way and falling unto a seat in front of them. He grinned before looking up at the tree and exclaiming, "Ah, it's been such a long time since I've seen this tree! I missed it!" he looked back at Haruka and Makoto then giggled. "I also missed being with you guys here! All that's missing is Rin-chan."
Makoto chuckled and handed Haruka his lunch box and opened his own. "Thinking back on it now, with just Haru and me under this tree, it's been rather lonely."
"Wow, so you still continued to come here even after I left?" Nagisa opened a bag of bread and chomped on it.
"Well, this seems to be the only place where Haru can relax, right Haru?" Makoto turned to look at Haruka who had started eating and just returned his look in answer to him. The brunette turned back to Nagisa and continued, "Even now, he still takes naps here."
Nagisa's face twisted into an expression as if he'd eaten something bad. "Heeh, you're still staying with your old man, Haru-chan?"
The two looked at Haruka who only paused midway to putting food in his mouth but didn't respond. Makoto stared at his childhood best friend and was the one who spoke out, "It can't be helped. Haru's father just won't let him go." Haruka's grip tightened around his chopsticks and he frowned at the thought of his old man. He dug into his food with a bit more force and Makoto noticed.
"What about you, Nagisa? Are you staying with your parents?" Makoto asked, trying to reel away the conversation from Haruka.
Nagisa's cheerful grin returned as he replied, "I'll be staying in the dorms."
"Your father allowed that?!" Makoto gaped with his green eyes slightly wide.
The blond huffed and took a bite off his bread and spoke with his mouth full. "It's included in our agreement. I come back here and stay in the dorms, in exchange, I study hard and be on the top rankings. And I also have to silently take over as head of the house after graduating in university."
Both Haruka and Makoto gazed at Nagisa, Makoto's worry much more evident on his face. "But you didn't want to do that." He murmured.
Nagisa smiled but it looked forced. "It can't be helped. Either way, I'd still end up being forced to take the position being the only son and all. Isn't it the same for the both of you?"
It wasn't entirely the case for Makoto since he had a younger brother and he could just pass the position of the heir to him if he really didn't want to take it and his parents would be kind enough to let him. But he chose to not say anything in consideration to his friends with him who were unfortunately being forced to take the position. Especially for Haruka who had it worse than the others.
"Anyway," Nagisa continued after a few seconds of silence. He looked around them then up at the tree as if searching for something. "Doesn't it feel like there's something missing?" He paused and pondered about it until he realized and let out an, "Ah!" He turned to the others with his regained cheerful smile. "Rin-chan! I wonder how Rin-chan's doing. Do you two know?"
Haruka swallowed as the realization hit him. That's what he'd exactly been feeling. Like there's something lacking and there's an empty space within him. And it's Rin that's lacking. Maybe he'd just realized now because he'd always denied it to himself. No, he actually already knew that he knew what was missing but he was afraid to admit it because it was no use feeling that way. Because he knew that Rin would never be coming back.
"I've never heard from him ever since he left." Makoto answered Nagisa.
Nagisa was visibly disappointed hearing that, that if he had been a dog, his ears would probably be drooping down. "Aww, it would be nice to see him again. Oh, I got it!" He brightened up and turned to the other two with a sparkle in his eyes. "Why don't we search for him and go see him? He can't be that far. We can use a detective or an investigator to track him down or something."
"No way." It's the very first thing Haruka said ever since they started eating. The two looked at him with surprised expressions and Nagisa even almost whined, "Eh?! Why, Haru-chan, why not?! Don't you want to see him? It's been such a long time, you know! Let's go search for him, Haru-chan, ne, please?" he insistently pleaded while slowly leaning closer to Haruka.
"No is no." Haruka repeated, his hand clenched tightly on his chopsticks that any tighter might break the wooden utensil. His eyebrows knitted together as he explained, "It wouldn't be good for us to associate with him. There will be rumors and we'll be putting our names into shame. Things are better off the way they are right now."
His two friends looked even more surprised, especially Makoto. "Haru, what are you saying?" His disbelief was clear in his voice. Because he knew it the most, that Haruka didn't care about status or fame or their family names. If anything, he hated it.
Haruka groaned and placed his chopsticks on his empty lunch box. "Anyway, just don't do it, Nagisa, or your father might end you back to your grandparents." He put down his lunch box beside him and fell on his side to the grass, ignoring the wide-eyes stares his friends gave him. "I'm taking a nap."
That left both Makoto and Nagisa exchanging worried looks.
When the last teacher finally bid farewell, Haruka packed up his things and was going to head straight for the door when Makoto stopped him with a question, "Haru, going to club practice?"
Haruka looked at his friend blankly. "I don't remember belonging into one."
Makoto smiled awkwardly and clarified, "I mean, going to the archery club?"
Haruka shrugged and turned to the door. "I'm going to the tree." He didn't wait for a reply and walked to the door then exited the classroom.
He made his way towards the tree where he wouldn't be aware that he's being watched, where he wouldn't have to keep thinking about his bearing and where he wouldn't have to think what other people might think of him. To the tree that was his escape, where he could be himself.
He walked through the small path that led to the tree and stepped past the makeshift entrance of parted bushes. Like usual, he was about to go straight towards the tree trunk but this time, he stopped dead on his tracks after a few steps. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened a fraction as he stared at the unfamiliar yet at the same time familiar figure that was lying on the grass underneath the cherry blossom tree.
Seconds after seconds had passed and Haruka could only continue to stare while he tried to calm himself and think rationally. After getting his breathing even, he slowly walked towards the figure and looked down at his form. Yes, the man that was in front of him now was indeed unfamiliar.
This man was tall, with legs longer than Haruka's. His shoulders were broad and his hands were big and muscled and calloused. Haruka bent down to his knees to look closer at the man's face and he inhaled sharply. The baby fat on his face were almost gone, leaving it more lined and shaped but then was still breathtakingly beautiful. His red hair was still as smooth-looking and silky as Haruka remembered and his eyes… Haruka wondered if they still had the same shine in them.
A pink petal fell on the man's cheek so Haruka reached out and took it off. That slight brush of skin made Haruka's heart race and he was surprised to find that the man in front of him was actually real. However, the touch seemed to have stirred the man and his eyes slowly opened, revealing the same red orbs Haruka remembered.
Haruka shot up straight to a stand while the man sat up and rubbed away the sleep from his eyes. After letting out a yawn, he seemed to have noticed the only other person with him and looked up. His red eyes widened though only a second for his expression quickly twisted into a frown. He glared up at Haruka's blue eyes and growled out his name, "Haru."
The dark-haired teen returned the glare with a blank stare and he coldly asked, "Rin, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to live a normal life."
Rin got up to his feet and stood straight in front of Haruka. He really was taller than a few centimeters, Haruka thought. "Well, sorry to disappoint you! It seems that no matter what I do, I still end up returning to this place. Maybe I'm just really the type that can't live a normal life."
Haruka frowned and huffed, "No, you shouldn't be here, you're not meant to be here!" Haruka opened his mouth to say more but was overwhelmed with the many things he wanted to say and he didn't know which to say first. That living the life of nobility was only painful and suffocating. That Rin would only get hurt if he stayed within the high society. That it was dangerous for him and that Haruka didn't want him to end up like his father. He bit his lower lip in frustration when nothing came out of his mouth.
"You're the one who's mistaken." Rin retorted after Haruka's silence. "I deserve to be here as much as you, Makoto and Nagisa does. I'll prove that to you."
Haruka's hands balled up into fists and he clenched them tightly they trembled. He watched Rin walk past him again and leave him and the cherry blossom tree. He stayed rooted against the ground as Rin left his sight and he shook slightly.
He suddenly felt the center of his palm wet so he looked at his closed hand and slowly opened it up. He realized he was still holding unto the petal that he took off from Rin's cheek. But because he squeezed his hand so tightly, it crumpled to the point of releasing its liquids. He completely crushed it.