A.N. So, L4J decided to publicly call me out for not seeing TDW eh? I wouldn't mind her saying that, except the kick in the teeth is that she wrote that AFTER I had already sent her a message saying I was on my way to see it. Yeah, chew on that as you read the story. :P

While my previous 3 chapters were set in the past (before L4J's Chapter 46), this 2-parter is now set in the present…but still before chapter 54. ;) Enjoy!

A Christmas Miracle

The date was December 23, 2 days before Christmas, and 1 before the Hallowed Eve. And in those 2 days, revelations would be made and mysteries will be solved. And it all started when Clint began looking for Tony…

"Tony?" Clint called out. "Hey Tony where are you?" After getting no response, Clint spent the next few minutes searching room by room. When that yielded no results, he decided to ask the one thing that watched them everyday, whether they were naughty or nice, awake or asleep…all the time really.

"J.A.R.V.I.S., do you know where Tony is?"

"I happen to do Master Barton," the Very Intelligent System responded.

"And you couldn't have said something 10 minutes ago when I first started yelling for Tony?" Clint inquired.

"You were getting warmer with every shout sir," the A.I. responded smoothly.

Clint couldn't help but roll his eyes. An A.I. with an attitude…great. "Well where is he then?"

"The only one place where he feels safe from the Black Widow."

After navigating his way to Tony's safe room, he found that the door was locked.

"A password is required before entrance is permitted," J.A.R.V.I.S. informed Clint.

"All right, what's the password?" Clint asked, starting to get annoyed.

"Each password is specifically set-up for every individual person."

Whether it was strangling Tony when he was finally face-to-face with him or cutting the wire that would cause the deactivation of J.A.R.V.I.S., Clint was oh so close to losing it. Only Tony would create individual passwords for people living in the Tower instead of making it simple and having one for everybody.

Clint thought long and hard of the code Tony had assigned him. Immediately, thousands of words and codes came to mind, so Clint used his S.H.I.E.L.D. training to boil it down to the essentials. Still, hundreds remained so he honestly just took a shot in the dark and entered:

2473269

The green light of approval dinged, while the door hissed open. Clint facepalmed, for you see, on a telephone, the number would spell out 'Bird Boy'.

Clint stormed in the room; ready to unleash hell for the hoops Tony had forced him to jump through, when he stopped in his tracks. Tony was just sitting in his chair drinking something, while watching the team with his thousands of monitors. Creepy, Clint thought to himself. He's actually calm for once, but that's still creepy.

"Oh, I get it!" Thor, on one of the monitors, exclaimed. "When someone says 'no presents' that means 'bring presents!'"

"Exactly!" Pepper nodded.

Suspicious, Clint took a few steps forward. "What are you doing?" Clint questioned, mentally preparing himself for some preposterous answer. Being a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, he had heard every far-out answer from some pretty crazy individuals. When it came to Tony however, Clint had been bowled over every time with what Tony's managed come up with.

"Isn't it obvious? In an attempt not to ruin Christmas this year, I've decided not to drink today."

Not as crazy as he had been expecting. Pretty smart actually. Didn't explain why he was invading the team's privacy though. "Yeah, we all remember how last year's Christmas Day turned out." Clint remarked.

Tony nodded, memories of being chased by his teammates dancing in his head. He shuddered at the thought of them making him squeak like that. Never again. "Precisely my point, Feather Butt. Which is why I'm drinking Eggnog today instead."

Clint nodded, turning around to leave before noticing a pile of Eggnog cartons piled up. "Tony…have you drunken 5, half-gallon Fresh-and-Easy Eggnogs all in one sitting?"

A loud belch erupted from Tony's mouth, as the bottle he had just finished draining was tossed towards the pile. "Make that 6."

Clint caught it in mid-air before reading the label. "Um Tony…were you aware that some Eggnog has alcohol in it?"

Stark sat there, considering what Clint had told him. "I was not."

"Hmm." Clint nodded. "And did you know that all 6 of these cartons were the kind that do contain alcohol?"

"I did not."

Clint nodded again. "So, to sum it up, you drank 3 gallons of alcohol infused eggnog when you were trying to avoid alcohol altogether?"

A slight moment of hesitation. "Yes."

)()(

Meanwhile, Steve being the charitable guy he is, has arranged a visit to a Toys for Tots donation drive, with gifts he and the other members have given up. He was going around the Tower checking names off on a clipboard of the members who donated, and confirming what gifts they were willing to give up:

Natasha had given up a ballerina figure.

Pepper an official Iron Man stylized paddleball.

Bruce a green colored stress ball (he didn't own too many possessions due to always being on the run).

Clint a toy bow-and-arrow set.

Thor gave a stuffed plush doll from Asgard.

Steve had decided to give his Captain America trading cards.

And Tony hadn't been seen all morning so his name had a question mark next to it.

The items had been individually wrapped before being put in Santa's Bag, which was just a regular white, cloth bag with "Santa's Bag" written on it with a black sharpie. Tony Stark had proclaimed it his best invention ever. Though why would Captain America be delivering gifts from Santa's bag, who would be delivering gifts from the Avengers… Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. Thinking about it just gave him a headache. Sometimes Tony's logic made no sense, and that was when he was sober.

With the list mostly finished, Steve now set upon the task of searching the 80 floors of Avengers Tower to find the missing billionaire. That would be a challenge in itself, but due to the nearly 50 rooms per floor, the various password setup, and whatever else Tony had in store for people snooping around his Tower, it seemed like this simple task would turn into an all day event. So Steve did the only sensible thing one would do in a situation like this.

"J.A.R.V.I.S.," he started. "Do you know where – "

"Mr. Stark has his present for the drive already wrapped and prepared in the main floor."

Steve blinked in surprise at the curt response. That was easier than he was expecting. "Um…all right, thanks."

"Anything for you sir."

)()(

Tony meanwhile was still in his main safe room, and had just finished another 2 cartons of Eggnog, making the total amount 8 cartons, or 4 gallons. Why must they make Eggnog so good? He was still sitting in his chair, but was sprawled onto the control panel, struggling to stay awake, for he knew if he fell asleep then he would wakeup surrounded by a bunch of angry teammates with the presents missing…or worse. "Must. Not. Ruin. Christmas. This. Year!"

)()(

Steve quickly made his way to the main room, worried that his plans for things to go off without a hitch would be jinxed for some reason. Usually because things always did whenever Tony was involved. As J.A.R.V.I.S. had told him, Tony's present was in fact wrapped in red and gold and waiting in the room, resting neatly on the table.

Steve grabbed the gift – actually found the color-coded wrapping paper clever – and put it in the bag before tightly tying the top closed with a piece of rope. Now the hard part was hiding the bag from Tony and making sure it stayed hidden until the drive tomorrow.

Taking out his Avengers I.D. card, he contacted the rest of the team, leaving off Tony's channel frequency. The cameras of course picked up every word and broadcasted it directly into the safe where an inebriated Tony still was.

"All right guys, I just wanted thanks again for donating your presents; they're now all bagged until the drive tomorrow."

"Don't worry about it Steve, it's a great cause," Pepper reassured him.

"Yes friend Steven," Thor agreed. "As the saying goes: 'We thought about the children' this year!"

Steve sighed, unsure of what to say next. "That's why I'm worried that Tony is going to get drunk and mess with the presents like he did last year. I have a feeling he'll try to outdo himself this year."

"I actually heard Tony wasn't going to drink today," Bruce interjected.

"Tony promised he wouldn't drink today?" Natasha chortled. "Yeah right. Has he ever done anything he's promised?"

"Well…he…" Pepper started before stopping and thinking about what she was going to say. "He…"

"Pepper…" Tony gasped, hurt.

"He did promise he would find a way to get me drunk." The words flew out of Steve's mouth before his brain realized what he was going to say.

There was complete silence for one entire minute. Even Tony couldn't believe what Steve had said. If he wasn't so tired he would've been laughing his butt off.

"So whatever you do, do not tell Tony the presents are hidden in the safe in the 43rd floor," Steve practically pleaded.

"Got it," the others replied before all going to bed.

Tony had heard every word, enhanced by his surround sound speakers drumming the message in his head. "The presents…are in the…43rd floor safe…" Tony mumbled, before finally closing his eyes; he could fight the darkness no more.

)()(

Tony opened his eyes to find himself standing in an entirely white room. The floor was white, the ceiling was white, everything was white. It was just…white. There was no other way to describe it. It wasn't a room per say, but more like an ethereal area.

He blinked slowly, trying to come to terms with where has was. Am I dead?

"Tony!" a voice suddenly boomed out a nowhere.

He blinked in surprise, his voice caught in his throat. "Santa?" he finally managed to choke out.

"Tony!" the voice called out again, as the floor shook. Tony stumbled forward a bit before steadying himself. What is happening?

"Tony!" The voice boomed out a third time, as he felt a sharp pain in his cheek, as if he had been slapped there. He gasped, before whirling around trying to defend himself from a force unseen. What it a ghost? He gasped. Or a demon? Tony had watched enough episodes of A Haunting to recognize a demonic attack: the name calling, the physical pain. Was it Sam and Dean's fault? Was there still a demon at the Tower? Or maybe...Oh no.

His eyes widened as he realized what had happened: His liver couldn't take it anymore and had finally burst, and he was dead, now waiting for his fate to be determined in God's waiting room – purgatory? - and was being assaulted for all of his many sins.

After being slapped again, he fell to his knees, balled his hands together, and did the one thing he swore he would never do – pray. "Oh God, please! I'm so sorry I'm an atheist! And I'm sorry I've only worshipped Santa during Christmas and not Jesus! Just please don't take me now! What about the good I've done as Iron Man? My relationship with Pepper? I'm growing!"

"Tony!" the voice called again, as an invisible liquid was splashed on his face, choking him. Oh no…this is really the end…Yinsen…Pepper…I'm sorry…

Tony awoke as an ice-cold bucket of water was splashed directly into his face. He coughed violently as he shoved away his attackers, finally freeing himself. As his vision returned, the blurry figures turned into the familiar members of his team. He noticed Clint was holding the bucket.

Okay…the first part came true: I woke up surrounded by my angry teammates. Let's see if I'm truly psychic. "Let me guess: did something happen to the presents?"

The others all nodded.

"Are they missing from where they were?"

The others nodded.

"And you all assume it was me?"

They nodded.

"And that gave you enough of a reason to assault me out of my blackout?"

They nodded again.

"Can we stop nodding?" Clint asked. "It's making my neck sore."

The others agreed, and all nodded again, then groaned before rubbing their necks.

"Great!" Tony clapped his hands together. "Let's go search for them now."

)()(

Soon, the group had made it to the 43rd floor and Tony, fully suited up, was analyzing the safe. "J.A.R.V.I.S., switch to ultra-violet light," Tony commanded. "Aha!" he exclaimed. "The U.V. light spectrum has revealed there are laser slices on this safe. With the residual heat analyzed, approximately it was heated up to nearly 500 degrees."

"So, what does that mean? You broke into your own safe?" Clint questioned.

Tony nodded. "Apparently, in my intoxicated state – that's means drunk to you Spangles – I took this quest of mine quite seriously, like a mission almost."

"I know what 'intoxicated' means," Steve mumbled to himself while Tony continued. "So if the presents are missing, and need to be found before the drive, we all know what needs to happen…Avengers Assemble!"

"We're all right here," Clint pointed out.

Tony gave him a look before stopping upon realizing Clint couldn't see through his helmet. "Well then the rest of you need to suit up and meet me in the main room," he called out as he blasted off, flying towards the top floor.

"He is so…" Steve started.

Clint nodded, patting his shoulder. "We know. But that's why we love him."

"Speak for yourself," Natasha rolled her eyes. "He just mostly annoys me."

Clint nodded again. "That is also true."

)()(

Later, the costumed Avengers all met up in the main room. "All right," Tony started. "Thank you all for coming - ."

"You told us to."

"Right…thanks for that Clint."

The archer nodded. "Anytime."

"Anyway, as I was saying – "

"You were thanking us for coming here."

"Yes…exactly. Now – "

"I pointed out how you told us to come here."

Tony paused. "You gonna do that every time?"

Clint thought about that. "…Maybe."

Tony sighed. "So you're really going to interrupt me every time I start talking, preventing us from finding the presents in time for the drive?"

Another pause. "Sorry."

Tony nodded. "Good; you should be."

"Can we get going on the actually issue here?" Natasha snapped. "Which is you, messing up again." She gave the billionaire a pointed look.

And here I had prepared an inspirational speech and even had a PowerPoint presentation set-up. "Fine; the presents are missing so we're going to have to split up to find them in time. We'll scour the Tower floor by floor, wall to wall, search through every – "

Steve stopped him mid-metaphor. "We got it Tony, we'll leave no stone unturned."

"Though why did you have us suit up?" Clint wondered.

"Because our costumes are way cooler than our civilian wear? Duh." Tony couldn't believe Clint needed to ask that. What a ridiculous question.

)()(

Five hours later, The Avengers had assembled back in the main room, neither of them having any luck finding the missing presents.

"So…" Tony started. "I got nothing."

Natasha glared at him. "That's it? You got nothing?" She growled off his nod. "We just spent the entire day searching the Tower for presents that kids were supposed to get – "

Natasha was interrupted by the phone ringing. J.A.R.V.I.S. identified the caller as Jack Simon, the man responsible for collecting the gifts.

Steve sighed, unsure of how he was going to explain what had happened to the man, so he decided to just come right out and say the truth, all while apologizing profusely.

Picking up the telephone, he put the receiver to his ear. "Hello Mr. Simon."

"Hello Mr. Rogers!" The man replied cheerfully. "I'm just calling about the presents. "

"Yeah," he gulped, dreading what he had to say next. "You see the thing about the presents…"

"I couldn't possibly thank you enough for them!"

Steve paused, confused. "I – I'm sorry?"

"When you offered to donate gifts for the drive, I never expected you to donate so many items! The kids are sure to be delighted come Christmas morning!" Mr. Simon enthused.

Steve slumped down in the chair closest to him, his brain working in overdrive. "Could you elaborate please?" he asked.

"Why the big bag of toys Iron Man dropped off earlier today. It must've been at least ten feet tall and filled to the top with hundreds of toys, all wrapped up and signed from every member. There are so many gifts it might be enough for the next five drives."

"Oh right, that bag!" Steve said, with faux relaxation in his voice. "Now I remember."

"Well, I'll let you get going Mr. Rogers. We have to get busy organizing all of them, and I'm sure you're busy as well. Thanks again!"

Steve hung up the phone, completely dumbfounded.

"What happened?" Pepper asked. "Is everything okay?"

"Can I kill Tony now?" Natasha asked, her eyes shooting daggers at Stark.

"They got them," Steve said once he finally found his voice.

The others all turned to look at him. "What?"

Steve stood up and turned to face them. "They got the gifts we donated, and so many more that they now possibly have enough for the next five drives."

"How…is that possible?" Pepper questioned.

"Perhaps it is the doing of the blackest dark magic," Thor mussed.

"Or," Clint interjected. "It is because Tony actually didn't do something stupid while drunk this time."

"Explain. Now." Natasha ordered.

Clint walked over by Tony, before slapping him on the shoulder. "Shall I explain what happened to our confused teammates or do you want to?"

Tony nodded, mostly because he didn't remember anything about this. "By all means, it's all yours my friend."

"Tony knew that as soon as Steve discovered the presents were missing, he would immediately call Jack to let him know he couldn't deliver the presents. So he made me lead you guys to believe that he had hidden them somewhere in the Tower, and that we had to wake him up to find them. Splashing water in his face was my idea to further sell the idea."

Tony wanted to mention Clint hadn't discussed that part with him, but didn't want to interrupt his thrilling unraveling of the mystery.

"Once Tony was awakened, he assumed correctly that the presents were missing. So, us searching the entire Tower was a way to stall until Joe had called, letting us know that he had received the gifts, plus the bonus ones he added."

"And, which I gave all you guys credit for," Tony announced standing up, remembering everything now. "You're welcome."

"So, you made us run around the Tower all day knowing they weren't in the Tower, all to prove that you didn't do anything wrong today?" Natasha questioned.

Tony nodded. "I may not have the most common sense when I'm drunk, and the logic may be a bit twisted, but every single present, and then some, got delivered to them…"

He walked over to a wall before lifting up a pall, revealing a secret compartment, complete with an identification hand-scanner, a precaution Tony had included should anyone stumble upon this secret.

Upon placing his hand in the scanner, it beeped before going back into place, before the wall lifted up.

"And I got extras for all of you too."

When the wall lifted up, the members gasped at what was behind it.

The room looked like it came straight from a Christmas story, including the greenest, 30 foot tall Christmas tree decorated to the brim with lights and ornaments, with presents covering the space underneath, a snack table assorted with sacks consisting of Christmas-style cookies, Dummy holding a tray of cups of Eggnog and a beautiful fireplace burning brightly.

Tony entered the room and gestured for the others to do the same. Clint and Thor immediately ran straight for the cookies, while the others casually strolled in, admiring the gorgeous aesthetic of the room.

"I'm sorry but I need to get this straight," Steve started. "You sent us on a wild goose hunt searching for presents that weren't even here in the first place; all while the gifts had already arrived, without incident, at the Drive? Everything turned out all okay in the end?"

Tony smiled and raised his glass to the other members. "It's a Christmas miracle."

The others smiled too and raised their glasses to Tony's statement before all talking a sip themselves.

Only Clint had a problem with that. "Technically, it's Christmas Eve," he pointed out, crunching on a snowman's head.

"Shut up Clint." Natasha snapped.

"What? I'm right. It's – "

"Shut up Clint." Pepper said.

"Seriously? How come for actually telling the truth, I get told to – "

The others all turned to face him. "Shut up Clint!" For once, one of Tony's drunken blackouts actually turned out O.K. in the end. Why would Clint want to ruin that?

Tony laughed gleefully. Everybody was on his side this time? It really was a Christmas miracle.

Merry Christmas everybody!