Again I wanted to thank everyone for the comments and follows/favs. I really appreciate all the support and glad people are enjoying this story.
This is a bit shorter than my previous chapters but I like how it feels and wanted to get it out. I hope I got Lizzie's name right. I found more references on fanfic than anywhere.
Chapter 4 Elizabeth begins to awaken, with no awareness of her surroundings and no immediate memory of the night's turbulent events. She doesn't open her eyes; the blinding headache and the presence of significant amounts of alcohol still coursing through her system make it seem like an impossibility.
She feels someone near her. Despite the fact this hasn't happened in almost a year she's not perturbed. There's no physical contact but she feels warmth radiating from them that's comforting; intoxicating. A peace settles over her that she hasn't known in quite some time, she lets it envelope her like a cocoon; her body, her heart, her soul.
She drifts away again and the next time she's aware there is a gentle shushing; the type of sound used to soothe someone who's in pain. She doesn't realise the sound is directed at her, she can't yet remember the memories that have started to creep back causing her to frown in her sleep and then quietly whimper.
She continues to listen soundlessly to the soft murmurs, she's not sure who it is, she's not sure why they are doing it but she feels relief and contentment. That is, until the person making the sound reaches out and touches her hair.
Red watched the tension grow the longer she slept. Each time he speaks or reaches out he sees the calmness and stillness return. But eventually as she begins to surface from her slumber he draws back. He knows she will be angry with him for his absence, and angrier still that he's resuming his tactile ministrations.
When she moans again he immediately and without thought reaches out. He's spent hours there and touched her countless times but this time as he strokes her hair her eyes snap open. She doesn't move, she doesn't immediately focus on him but she's there.
"Lizzie" he purrs, using the same soft tone he's used the whole night through. She doesn't respond so he tries again, "Lizzie". Abruptly she rises. Blinking, obviously disorientated and confused, she gathers her shoes and walks out of the box without a word or glance in his direction.
She continues to walk, her only though about getting home, putting distance between them; between her and the past, her and the present. She strides up the stairs but without effort he's on her heels.
She almost sprints towards the elevator. Again she hears his soft and gentle voice say her name, "Lizzie". His voice is drawing her in but she battles against it. "That's not my name... don't call me that" she replies in short sharp snaps.
"Agent Scott" he responds.
She cannot help her reaction. She stops dead. It's a physical manifestation of the shock she feels. Like she's been punched in the gut. She knew eventually she'd be using that name but it's the first time anyone's called her it and those words from his lips are like a betrayal. He's provoking her and she's furious with herself for taking the bait.
She takes a deep breath, exhales and then resumes walking at a slower pace. She punches the button for the elevator and waits. He comes to stand beside her but she doesn't look at him or acknowledge his presence. When the elevator opens she's gets in, so does he.
"Elizabeth, I would like it very much if you'd answer me when I address you" he says stepping closer.
She's unsure now how to proceed. She is angry but feels foolish in this reaction. Raymond Reddington doesn't owe her anything. He's been willing to lay down his life for her but by his own admission they are not related. There is nothing tying him to her. Then what reason has he for his actions and what reason has she for this fury?
"You said you'd be there if I needed you" she finally says. Trying, almost successfully to keep the anger from her voice.
There's a pause and then he says softly, "There's a difference between need and want Lizzie".
She makes eye contact with him then, his gaze softer than expected, almost neutral. She feared a look of smug satisfaction or at least she feared her own reaction to such a look. Her cheeks burn with humiliation while her eyes burn with anger, but he's not saying it to shame her; he's simply saying it because it's true.
The elevator doors have opened but neither makes a move to leave. He steps closer still, "you're stronger than this Lizzie". She hears the words and as they begin to register the fight leaves her and she drops her eyes, her head.
He steps away, clearing her path out of the elevator and the building. She begins to walk, eyes unseeing, ears unhearing, while she digests the words he spoke to her. He's right, once she was stronger but somehow uncertainty and loneliness have worn her down.
When they reach the street Dembe is there with the car. Ghosting his hand over the small of her back he leads her and waits till she's seated inside, before he walks around and takes his own seat.
He doesn't attempt to speak. The silence again does the talking and Raymond Reddington knows what Elizabeth is trying to say. She's remembering her former self, her boldness and independence. She ruminates on this as they make their way towards her apartment.
When they pull up outside she doesn't immediately get out because she's lost in thought. He watches her; her eyes shifting around as she moves through her memories. When her eyes darken he decides it's time to step in. He leans towards her and very gently says her name. Her vision starts to clear and after a few seconds she looks round at him. She stares at him, the way she did the previous night. Her eyes run over his face, searching for changes, looking for answers. Eventually she makes eye contact and finds he's been staring at her just as hard.
There's a long silence while they sit looking at each other, each of them drinking the other in. Despite the relief she feels; the undeniable pull towards him, Elizabeth doesn't want to let him get close again. She can't make the same mistakes; she can't trust him, can't rely on him, can't need or want him. She knows she needs to get away before he so easily charms his way back in. So she breaks eye contact, opens the door and says, "thank you for the lift".
Raymond Reddington sits in the car watching her walk away, wondering if or how they'll get back to their former intimacy. Then he thinks his contemplations would be more insightful or at least more satisfying if fuelled by some of Frederick's mysterious liquid.
Chauffeured by Dembe he makes his way back to his favourite abode, briefly contacting Cooper to assure him that he and Lizzie are making progress on a new Blacklist target. He's buying the time and space she needs to adjust and he hopes that it is enough.