A.N. 'Cause jam klaoo keeps asking for updates, I have to do it (if you nag me about something often enough things will happen faster (Just a little tip from me…!)). Hope you enjoy, or well at least like it as the whole story is just a LITTLE realistic… *sweat drops*

I suffocate as I think about life without you,

But everything stays the same I can't fight for you,

'Cause I don't have what it takes to win for you,

But maybe I'm just afraid of having you?

Maybe it's just an excuse to stay away from you…

Law's POV

The first thing I felt when I woke up was a pair of warm lips against mine, I immediately recognized the taste of them and licked the bottom lips. The mouth slightly parted and I slipped my tongue in that hot cavern. A silent moan slipped through those lips; true music to my ears… With a last suck to his tongue I released Luffy's lips, opened my eyes and sat up, immediately pain struck my head; of shit, my handover…

I hissed and put my hand on hy forehead; it feels like my head is splitting apart… "Take this."

I took the pill and the glass Luffy extended to me and gulped it down. "It's funny how this is the fastest way to wake you up."

I put the glass on the drawer next to bed and fell back to it groaning; it needs time for the medicine to start working… "And you do that every morning if you're able to wake up before me…"

The small male sitting on the edge of our bed shrugged. "I love you, so I don't mind."

My heart made a loud bang in my chest when words 'I love you' came out of his mouth; he manages to say those words so calmly, without any restriction. It's always hard for me to say those words, even for him, they seem stuck in my throat, but because they're stuck and I want to tell them they suffocate me…

So instead of replying back, I just squeezed a smirk out. "What time is it?"

"A little bit after eleven, half past twelve we have to be at the studio."

I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry for yesterday…"

"Instead of being sorry you should stop doing that."

My eyes shot open and I looked at the serious face Luffy had; it's rare for him to be this serious, I must have hurt him with all of this deeply… I bit my lip; fuck, he's supposed to be my number one, not some stupid party… "I'm sorry."

I heard a sigh and the weight form the bed lifted as Luffy stood up. "I ordered some food, let's go eat before it gets completely cold."

I sit up and the headache rushes back to me, this time it isn't that painful, but it's still near the edge of unbearable. Luffy leaves the room and I get dressed; I will also need to visit bathroom after breakfast, as a model I have to look flawless, that's what people expect from me…

When we arrive at work there is still fifteen minutes till photographers come, so I sat at a comfortable beanbag in the waiting room in the middle of the office. Luffy is working his job, talking with people giving order, helping those who have some sort of trouble. He flies from one corner to another with an equally wide smile; he manages to be so lively all the time…

He's like a little star in my dark night, my only star, he's the star that I'm myself eat away… Sometimes I can catch a glimpse of his light becoming weaker, fading away in my darkness, but every time he manages to lit up again, only that when he does, the light isn't as bright as it was before. Actually several times we were on an edge of breaking up, all because of me…

But every time he forgave me, after that I would try to reform, the me right now and the me that Luffy first met are different. I came to care for people a little bit more and I came to care for him with all my might, it also became easier to talk with me, or that's at least what I heard other people talk. I also drink less, I used to have hangover every second day…

Though there's one thing that I can't change about myself and I don't want to change it – my hatred to Doflamingo. That fucking adoptive father of mine adopted me when I was nine, I used to dream of becoming a surgeon those days. But that damn bird and his 'methods' of bringing me up destroyed that dream, when I only was thirteen he put me in one of his sewed outfits and put me in front of camera. As ever since I was adopted I didn't went to school I started modeling, I had private teachers Doflamingo hired for me who thought me everything I would have learned in school.

Because I never went to school I found it hard communicating with people and Doflamingo influenced me much more then I would have ever wanted. After several years when I hit puberty I became a hit and became famous, that made the famous Joker Company even more famous and that stupid bird became extremely happy…

Luffy rushed past me again and I sighed; through what miracle did he fell in love with me? Even if he was interested in my looks, he would have been chased away by my character… But he's with me, he continues to love me, take care of me… He deserves more than that… I already told him this more than once, but he stubbornly kept repeating that all he wants is me…

I don't understand him at all, why would he want me of all people, when he could have anyone else? There're countless people who had shown interest in him, some of them were even similar to me, but he pushed all of them away.

Luffy stops and comes to me, he leans down and with worried look brushed his hand through my cheek. "Whatever you're thinking about – it's not worth it." He rubbed the spot between my eyebrows. "You have this look… and I don't like it." He put a peck on my lips. "The photographers will be here in five minutes."

He ran off to somewhere again leaving me in even deeper thoughts; he's always like that, he sees when I'm troubled and tells me to leave whatever the matter I'm thinking about, alone. I put my hands on my face; I just hate the thought that I'm hurting him so much… Why can't I just change? Why can't I be a man worthy of his love…? A small stab strikes my heart; why can't my love be stronger then everything else…?

TBC

A.N. I feel as this chapter is just full of rambling, but that's necessary, so yea… Hope you enjoyed! (or something along these lines…) ^-^