Buffy shifted on the bed. It was harder to rest at night. Duty called and all that jazz, but Oz had one arm secured around her waist. His arm was enchanted. It had to be magic. Nothing else made sense. She'd been in the bed for days now, and he had stayed with her, his wonderful arm holding her close. Buffy smiled. It made things better. Pain lessened, dreams stayed away, and the strength in it was surprising. She ran her fingers along his muscled forearm.

He had changed in their time apart. He was still quiet, but she could see the assurance of a man in him. She didn't even need to squint. He was warm and strong and guarding her back. She didn't deserve this. There was no way this could be good for him, no way she could be good for him. She bit her lip. She was being so selfish.

"Stop it, Buffy." His sleepy voice murmured. He tightened his grip on her a bit, not enough to hurt her.

"What? I'm just lying down here with you." She shifted around to face him. His hand slid to her hip. "I'm not doing anything."

"You need to rest." He stroked her hair back behind her ear and met her gaze steadily. "Let the other slayers handle things for a while. Okay?"

"They shouldn't have to be out there. This used to be a one girl in all the world thing. I took so much away from them. They don't get their regular lives." She felt her eyes going misty. "I'm pathetic. I cried about my fate for years, and then I go and dump it all over hundreds of other girls. Yeah, we won the battle, but we are losing the war."

"What are you talking about?" Oz stared at her. He was actually listening. Giles never did. He said it was the depression talking. Willow never even got past her own yeah me's. Buffy felt a moment of honest happiness. It startled her.

"It's balance. That whole yoni and yang thing?" She nodded to see if he was following.

"Yin and yang." Oz smiled, an actual full on grin. "The principle's are similar, but they mean very different things."

"Okay, but you get what I'm saying?" She bit her lips.

"I'm keeping pace." He raised a brow.

"One girl in all the world balanced things. It sucked, but it was fair. When the population grew it should have become maybe twenty girls in all the world. They would have lived longer. Hell, they would have had a chance. Demons would have had a lot fewer good days. The balance wouldn't have pushed so much to evil." She took a deep breath. He was still listening. "Now, I've swung it too far the other way and evil is building to answer the call. The end of the world, fire, brimstone, super nova, whatever, it's coming because the balance whacky."

"I follow the theory." He nodded. "What do you want to do about it?"

"I want to take it down to about thirty girls. I want to release the ones that hate it and the ones that can't cut it. I want to balance." She bit her lip. "But they don't listen to me anymore. Everybody's so in love with winning, but they aren't seeing the long term."

"Let's get this curse lifted, and we'll make them see it." He rubbed her hip gently.

"You'll help?"

"Kinda why I'm here." He grinned again and she smiled back.

"You should go. It's safer to be no where near me." She fastened her eyes on his chin. "Spike had my back those last few months in Sunnydale. Giles tried to kill him. Xander treated him like shit. Even Dawn was bitchy. He went and got his soul for me, and I didn't get it until the very end. I loved him and he burned up."

"He chose to do something amazing for you. Don't diminish the gift." Oz curled a finger under her chin and raised her gaze to his. "He loved you. Let that be enough for a while. Think about the love and not the loss."

"If he had believed me, he would have found me in Rome. He would have come for me." She ignored the hot wash of tears on her face. "He didn't have to die like that again."

"I'm sorry. I know you loved him, and I know that doesn't help." He pulled her close and pressed a small kiss against her temple.

"It's been a long time. I let him go. I did my grieving. I'll always miss him, but part of him stays with me. When I fight, when it's bad, he's there in my head. He's there keeping me going. I would have gone down so many times if it weren't for him." She pulled back and gave Oz a watery smile.

"I think I love him, too." Oz chuckled. "Anything that keeps you alive, I love."

"It's almost a New Year." Buffy smiled and pointed to the glowing green numerals on her alarm clock.

"A new beginning for all of us." Oz nodded.

"I've never done this." Buffy blushed.

"Never done what?"

"I've never rung in the new year with a guy." She blushed and dropped her eyes to his profile. "I mean not that we're like together or anything, but it's strange watching the clock count down while we're here in bed together."

"Happy new year, Buffy." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

His lips were gentle and warm. She could feel the strength in his body, peaceful and waiting, but it was there. He was human but more so, like her.

She could hear the distant sound of people celebrating. She wanted to shout out with them, but that would end the sweet press of Oz's lips on hers. It was a new day, a new year.

She rolled back slightly and Oz moved with her. He dropped his hands from her face to brace against the bed. Reveling in the feel of his body pressing her down on the mattress, she opened her mouth slightly, an invitation.

Oz accepted, and their tongues clashed with long glides and teasing swirls. She raised one hand to play in his hair, holding him to her. He was so hot, even through their clothes. His body felt like living flame as he rocked against her. She whimpered as he pulled his lips from hers.

He smiled at her with a hint of male pride, and she blushed. How could he do that with just a look? Looking up into his eyes, she felt like a woman, not a slayer. She touched him, traced his lip with the pad of her thumb.

"Happy new year, Oz." She whispered.

"New day, new year, new beginning." He rolled back to lie beside her and pulled her close. She stroked her hand over his beating heart and settled against him. He pressed a kiss to her temple and stroked the well worn flannel of her shirt against her back.

New beginnings meant the possibility of new endings, but it was already far too late. This was real. She shivered. He pulled her closer and fished up the blankets to cover them.