The Consequences of Sacrifice: Put Your Theory to the Test (Part One)
Author's Note-Hello, everyone! It's been a while since I posted anything (stupid writer's block, too much work, and illness all conspired to keep me from writing anything new). Sorry about that.
Well, the new episodes of "Sherlock" is coming out very soon! (January 1 for Britain, January 19 for America). Is everyone as excited as I am!?
I wrote this in honor of the new episodes! It's not my best work, but it's now or never, as we will soon know how Sherlock cheated death. I can't wait to find out what happened, and this drabble is dedicated to us, the fans, as we have waited patiently for "Sherlock" to come back on.
This drabble features Chase Douglas, an OC I created from my previous story, "The () of Sacrifice." Unforunately, you probably need to read my story to get an idea of how Chase thinks (or at least the first six chapters). Still, give it a shot!
The following is a parody of the angst we have all experienced in waiting for the writers of "Sherlock" to finally answer our questions on the Fall! Hope you read it and find it semi-humorous. The first two entries are blog entries that will hopefully explain what is going on.
Warning for some slight language, a lot of American sayings that make no sense, and a (possible?) character death.
Enjoy!
December 1st. (The Personal Blog of Chase Douglas)
Hello my loyal fans! Chase Douglas, aka C.D. Hottie to my fanfiction authors, is back and on the air!
Well, back to posting my blog, anyway!
I am so sorry I haven't posted any stories in a long time, what with working for the great DMP and all. I have to admit, it's been the best job! I get to hack into high-tech computerized systems all day! How sweet is that?
But enough about me! If I was to guess, you guys want to know more about the DMP and his brother, Sherlock.
To those of you who don't know, the DMP is my boss, Mycroft Holmes. Basic "British Government" personified, all-seeing, all-knowing, mover of world!
By the way, for those of you who are reading my post for the first time, "DMP" stands for "Demented Mary Poppins."
What? It was either that or Santa Claus (You know the song. "He sees you when you're sleeping! He knows when you're awake!"). Personally, I think DMP is cool! You see the similarity between him and Mary Poppins, right? The fact that the DMP carries his umbrella everywhere? Think of all the spy gizmos and weapons he keeps in there!
But I got side-tracked. Not long ago, I am several of my friends led a movement to officially clear Sherlock's name. We didn't know Sherlock was alive at the time, of course. But that's how life is sometimes! Anyway, with the help of my friends at FanFiction, I was able to release a tape showing what really happened during the Fall. Then, I was arrested for leading a crowd in singing "God Save the Queen," and was taken to lock-up. But the Yard didn't keep me there for long, because the DMP came and bailed me out! Apparently, he liked my hacking skills and offered me a small job!
And did I mention that the DMP is like my number one hero of all time?!
Yes, I know there are many of you who don't believe me, but the DMP is seriously not bad to deal with! I mean, he controls the Government! How cool is that? And he can kidnap whoever he wants! I wish he would let me do that, just so I can give my number to some girls, but apparently that's not allowed.
But life's still good! I get to monitor the CCTV systems and help keep England safe from cyber-terrorists! Awesome! And my job allows me to get the behind-the-scenes stuff on Sherlock and the DMP!
So I got this idea that I should be using my influence to help you, my loyal readers, learn a little more about Sherlock and Mycroft. So I asked you all what you wanted to know.
One question I got was whether the DMP and Sherlock had any weaknesses when it comes to their deducting powers.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that question was from a super-villain. Don't know which one, though. Moriarty's dead, and there are so many trying to replace him, but that's how it goes.
Still, it is an interesting question. Does the famous Holmes duo have a blind spot that keeps them from deducing?
Believe it or not, the answer is YES!
Now, I know most of you probably check out Dr. John Watson's blog. If you have, then you probably read the entry called "A Scandal In Bohemia." Apparently, there's this bad girl with a whip named Irene Adler. Sherlock was investigating her, and apparently went to her flat to talk to her. And then she comes out in the nude!
Yep, you read right! Starkers! Naked! Unclothed! In her birthday suit! All natural!
Well, Sherlock denies this, but I heard that he was unable to make a deduction about Ms. Adler! Couldn't tell anything about her life! Where she was from originally! What her favorite color was! If she had pets!
Nothing! Nada! Zero!
Well, I wondered if the same thing would work on the DMP!
Unforunately, that Adler woman could not be located. It's too bad, because I think she would have loved to help. I mean, she was naked in front of Sherlock! Surely she would want to be naked in front of the DMP too!
Right?
Anyway, that wasn't going to happen.
Now, I guess I could ask Anthea. She could do it. Between us, I suspect that Anthea may harbor a crush on the DMP. Or I may try to get Irene into the same room with Mycroft to see if Anthea goes all territorial or something (can we say "cat fight?").
But that would defeat the purpose of our objective.
I have also toyed with the possibility of me going around naked in front of the DMP, but I have decided against it.
Hey! It's not that I'm afraid or anything! It's just that the DMP is my hero, and you do not go around in your birthday suit in front of your hero!
But I don't give up easily!
I finally got my chance when I happened to meet a guy named Felix Sanders. You see, Felix is the leader of a nudist colony, and he had a proposition that he wanted to present to the government. Well, I told him about the DMP! So, a few weeks ago, Felix and a group of people from the nudist colony met me at the DMP's club, and I took them in so they could speak to him.
Well, the DMP was speechless!
Yeah, yeah! I know! He's at the Diogenes Club, and apparently they all take a vow of silence there! But he was in the visitor's room, where you are allowed to talk! So there was no excuse!
I'm pretty sure that he was unable to make any deductions!
Not only that, but Sherlock himself texted me and congradulated me on my "scientific endeveavor!" Sweet!
Mission: Success!
So, in answer to your question, Mr. or Ms. Super-Villain in Waiting, if you want to beat the DMP and his brother and keep them from deducing your secrets, I advise you to do it naked.
Maybe you should wait for the summer months, while you are at it! Winter is too cold, if you bother to check London's weather patterns!
So if anyone out there has a question, send me a PM and let me know!
This is Chase Douglas, signing off!
December 29th. (The Personal Blog of Chase Douglas)
Hi, everyone! This is Chase Douglas again, updating my blog for my fans and my fellow FanFiction authors!
Now, as you know, I have been capitalizing on my position to answer the questions that we are all asking (see previous blog). And I noticed that there is one question that has been plaguing FanFiction members, Sherlockians, and fan girls alike.
How did Sherlock survive the jump off of Saint Bartholomew's Hospital?
Now, I asked Sherlock! Seriously, I did! He just called me "an imbecile!"
Can you believe it!?
Ok, I will admit it! At first, I was hurt! I even went without coffee for twelve hours, but then I went through caffeine withdraw, and it's not pretty!
But then I realized something! After all, the DMP and Sherlock are always accusing people of "seeing, but not observing."
So that got me thinking.
What if this is a test?
After all, wouldn't the DMP want me to find out the answer on my own? Prove myself worthy to be his Padawan learner? Find out the truth, like before?
Well, I accept!So here's what I'm going to do! I am going to recreate the Fall myself! And, just for you guys, I am going to do it live!
Wish me luck!
And if you want to watch it, just click on this link tomorrow at 11:00 a.m.
This is Chase Douglas, signing off!
December 30th.
(The following is an accurate depiction of Chase Douglas's attempt to recreate the now infamous Fall. Bold italicdepicts action occurring on the video. Bold underlined depicts which person is speaking.)
An image appears. Although there is nothing to specify where the location is, it appears to be on a rooftop. The sounds of car horns and the roar equated to a small breeze can be heard in the background.
Suddenly, a young man appears on the screen. He is approximately five foot seven inches, with wavy light sandy hair streaked with blonde. His skin is tanned, and his friendly brown eyes gleam with excitement. When he speaks, his obvious accent shows off his American roots.
Chase Douglas-"Hey everyone! This is Chase Douglas, aka C.D. Hottie for all of my loyal FanFiction peeps! Well, I am here on location at Saint Bartholomew's Hospital! Yep! I am personally at the site of where the great Sherlock Holmes, who happens to be the younger brother of my oh-so-great boss, the DMP, had faked his death!"
"But the biggest question remains! How did he do it?"
"Well, ladies and gentlemen, you shall wonder no more! Because I, Chase Douglas, FanFiction writer and hacker extrodinare, will do a demonstration!"
A voice in the background speaks up. It is the voice of a young man, although his tone is lower and he speaks with a British accent.
Lawrence-"Chase? I'm not sure if this is such a good idea."
Chase-"Huh? Oh, right! Sorry, Law!"
Chase steps forward and grabs the camera and pans it one hundred and eighty degrees, revealing the startled face of another young man with dark hair, cut short, and hazel eyes.
The young man looks less than pleased at being afforded screen time.
Lawrence-"Bloody hell, Chase! Get that camera off me!"
The dark-haired young man steps forward and apparently wrestles the camera away. The next scene is that of Chase Douglas, his hair tousled slightly. Nevertheless, he looks pleased with himself.
Chase-"And that, my loyal devotees, was Lawrence Duncan! A fellow Sherlockian like myself! He has agreed to record this historic endeavor. Thankfully, his brother Kenneth is not camera shy!"
The camera pans to the right. A young man with light brown hair tied back in a pony-tail steps forward. His eyes are similar to his brother's, and he is wearing an ill-fitted suit and seems bored out of his mind. He gives a slight wave to the camera.
Kenneth-"Hey. My name is Kenneth Duncan. Apparently, I am supposed to play the role of Moriarty! Even though I look nothing like him, but no one will listen to me!"
The camera pans back to Chase, who is shrugging on a long black coat.
Chase-"Which means that I get to play Sherlock! How sweet is that? Now, we tried to replicate it the best we could, but I couldn't borrow Sherlock's Belstaff coat. Otherwise, he would find out, which means that the DMP would find out, and that would be sooooo bad! Ok, let's do this!"
Kenneth is seen rolling his eyes in dismay, while Lawrence is heard off-camera muttering.
Lawrence- "We are going to get into a lot of shite for this!"
Chase turns back to the camera, beaming like a madman.
Chase-"Now, we are going to do this, step by step, and recreate the events that lead up to the Fall. Now, some of these scenes have been dramatized to protect the identities of the parties involved…"
Kenneth snorts derisively.
Lawrence-"What identities!? Everyone knows that we are pretending to be Holmes and Moriarty!"
Chase turns to the camera and pouts dramatically.
Chase-"Fine! Boy, Lawrence, way to be a kill-joy! Ok, let's do this! Ken, call my cell phone!"
Kenneth looks confused. The American terminology has caught him off-guard.
Kenneth-"You mean your mobile?"
Chase (waving his hand impatiently)-"Yes, yes! Now, I will be entering the area here."
At this point, Chase runs over to the doorway that leads directly to the inside of St. Bart's Hospital. The camera follows him.
Chase (signaling towards Kenneth by giving him a "thumbs-up")-"Ok, you can call me now!"
Kenneth groans, but obligies by reaching into his pocket and pulling out his mobile. He dials it.
The ringtone that sounds suspiciously like "the hamster dance" is heard in the background.
Chase-"Oh, crap! I forgot! I don't have 'Staying Alive' on this phone!"
Lawrence-"Forget about it, Chase! That's not important!"
The look of outrage on Chase's face clearly states that he believes that the ringtone is very important.
Chase-"Are you serious!? Do you want to upset the FanFiction members and the Fan Girls on our failure to at least keep it real!? We have to get everything right!"
Kenneth shrugs his shoulders, looking frustrated. "Well, what do you want me to do about it?"
Chase (frowns for a moment, considering. Suddenly, he grins) "I got it! Ken, dial my number again! And Law, instead of panning the camera back to me, keep it on Ken! Got it?"
The camera pans back to Kenneth, who is tugging at the tie around his neck. It is obvious that he is uncomfortable in the suite. He dials the number again, and waits.
Off camera, the jerky, disjointed tune of "Staying Alive" is being belted out off-key by Chase.
Chase (in a high pitched voice that is evidently supposed to be an attempt at mimicking the Bee Gees, but failing miserably)- "I, I, I, I'm staying alllllllliiiiiivvvvvvveeeeee!"
"Staying alive! Staying alive!"
"I, I, I, I'm staying alllllllliiiiiivvvvvvveeeeee!"
"Staying alive! Staying alive!"
Kenneth (tugging at his tie irritably)-"Chase! Answer the bloody phone already!"
Chase steps on the scene, grinning unashamedly.
Chase-"Excuse me, Moriarty! I am Sherlock Holmes, and I don't answer to you!"
Kenneth rolls his eyes as he puts the phone back in his pocket. He pulls out a sheet of paper and reads the lines in a monotone voice.
Kenneth-"Sherlock, I am an evil genius who likes to mess with people's lives, blah, blah, blah! So go ahead and jump so that all the idiots who read the trash in the tabloids will think you are a fake, and so on."
Chase-"I don't think so! After all, I am smarter than you! Not to mention cuter! Have you seen any of the FanFiction stories? I have way more fans than even your pathetic persona of 'Richard Brooks' ever did!"
Kenneth (Still in a monotone voice)-"Oh, crap. Well, if you don't jump, I will kill your friends Lestrade, John, and Ms. Hudson. So jump already. Because apparently making my enemies jump off buildings is supposed to turn me on."
Chase pulls at his own hair in a show of over-exaggerated angst.
Chase-"Wait! You would stoop to killing a little old lady? That's harsh! But you know what, I have you up here with me, and I'll just kick your butt until you call you men off! You meanie!"
Lawrence (incredulously)-"Meanie?"
Chase (looking at the camera and shrugging)-"Kids may be watching this!"
Kenneth (rolling his eyes)-"Oh, dear. I am so afraid. You may actually kick my butt and make me call off my men. I guess I can't beat you, so I will shoot myself."
Kenneth takes out a bright blue plastic gun and points it at his head.
Kenneth (Still in a monotone voice)-"Bang. I'm dead."
Taking the time to slowly lower himself onto the ground so that he doesn't hurt himself, Kenneth lies down and pretends to be dead.
At the loss of his "nemesis," Chase goes into dramatic mode.
Chase (looking desperate)-"Oh my God! This can't be happening! Oh, what should I do? Well, I must save my friends, so I must jump!"
Lawrence (sarcastically)-"I am completely in awe at your acting skills, Chase."
Chase (sulking)-"Ha-ha!"
Stalking away, Chase grumbled as he pulled out his phone and begins to text.
Kenneth (forgetting that he is supposed to be "dead" and propping himself up on his elbow for support)-"Chase, if you don't mind me asking, are you really going to jump?"
Chase looks affronted by the question.
Chase-"Of course I'm going to jump! How am I going to test my theory on how Sherlock cheated death unless I try it out?"
Lawrence-"What is your theory then?"
Chase (looking smug)- "It is not a theory! It is proven scientific fact!"
Lawrence-"Chase, you are hardly a certifiable genius. Maybe at computers, but on this…"
Chase-"Don't doubt me! I have made it my life's mission to study geniuses like the DMP and Sherlock! I know all of their secrets! Heck, I even know the key to defeating them!"
Kenneth (looking interested)-"And that is?"
Chase (smiling wickedly)-"Nudity!"
The resounding crash and loss of picture suggests that Lawrence had dropped the camera.
Chase (off-camera)-"Damn, Law! Be careful with that!"
The image clears up, and we see Chase again, staring intently into the camera as he pans it in several directions.
Chase (exasperated)-"If you broke it, you're buying it, Law! I had to borrow this…"
Kenneth-"What did you mean by defeating the Holmes brothers with nudity?"
Chase-"It's simple! You see, John wrote in his blog that Irene Adler once fooled Sherlock by parading around in the buff, and he couldn't deduce anything about her! And you know the Holmes! Every time I am around the DMP, he's always jabbering about what I have been up to recently! Well, a few weeks ago I decided to try my theory out! So I showed up to his office with some members from a nudist colony! And he couldn't deduce anything! He was speechless!"
Kenneth (frowning)-"Are you sure that it wasn't simply because you brought in a bunch of people in starkers that Mr. Holmes was at a loss for words?"
Chase-"Pretty sure. But I never got a chance to ask him!"
Chase's attention is suddenly focused on a figure who has exited a cab on the other side of the pavement. He hops from one foot to another, looking excited.
Chase-"Here, Ken! Hold the camera! I see Skylar!"
Lawrence-"Skylar! What's she doing here!?"
Chase (smiling)- "I texted her! Hang on!"
The view of the camera changes as Kenneth takes the camera from Chase and takes several steps back. The audience sees Chase step onto the ledge of the building and casually pulled his mobile out of his pocket. Although his back is to the camera, it is obvious that his attention is focused on someone else.
Chase-"Skylar! Hey! Thanks for getting here so quickly! No, no! Don't move! I'm right up here! Hey! Over here! On the roof! See me!?"
Lawrence shuffles over to where Kenneth is standing and leans over, his shadow momentarily darkening the screen.
Lawrence-"You don't think he is really going to jump, right?"
Kenneth's snort of disbelief is heard on the camera.
Kenneth-"Please, Law! This is just Chase being Chase! He may be American, but even he isn't stupid enough to jump off a four storied building!"
Chase, oblivilious to the conversation going on behind him, is apparently arguing with Skylar via his mobile.
Chase-"Sky! Sky! Stop freaking out, will ya?! What? No, I am not suicidal! No! No, Sky! The DMP did not ban me from drinking coffee! Oh, will you just relax?! I am trying to recreate how Sherlock managed to fake his death!" (A long pause) "Skylar! Don't call the DMP! Oh, wait! Stop! No, I am not going to kill myself, Sky! I'm recreating Sherlock's jump! I have this theory on how he survived! What? No, there's no safety net! You see the truck in front of the building? Well, it is filled with cat-litter!"
Kenneth-"Excuse me!?"
Chase ignored him as he continued to argue with Skylar on his mobile. Even though his face is hidden, the camera clearly catches his frantic hand gestures.
Chase-"Of course it isn't used cat litter, Skylar! Are you telling me you have never seen 'Batman Returns?' You know, the scene where Catwoman falls off a building and lands in a truck full of cat litter? No? Well, it's cool! I think that's how Sherlock survived the jump! (A pause) What?! Well, of course it is safe! I am not a complete idiot, you know!" (Another longer pause) "Well, that was uncalled for!"
Lawrence-"So Chase's theory is that the great Sherlock Holmes faked his death with the help of a truck full of cat litter?"
Chase (still talking to Skylar on his mobile)-"Now, Skylar, I need you to pretend to be John, ok? Because I need to tell you I am a fraud, and you cry and deny how that can't be true...what?! No, I need to do this, Sky! (pause) Why don't I ask Sherlock how he did it? Because he won't tell me, Skylar! He even called me an imbecile for asking! (pause) Well, you can agree with him all you want, but I know I am right! Sherlock just doesn't want the public to know how he did it! But the world deserves to know! Think of all the legions of Fan Girls out there, never knowing! They'll go insane soon! (pause) I am not insane, Skylar! And right now I am pretending to be Sherlock Holmes! So call me a 'high functioning sociopath!'"
Lawrence-"Bloody hell, Kenneth! We are going to get in so much trouble for this! I say we call Mycroft now!"
Kenneth (laughing)-"Chase isn't that stupid! He's just trying to scare us! I mean, there is no way he would…"
The camera catches a brief glimpse of Chase as he drops his mobile, spreads out his wings like a bird in flight, and then hops off the edge and disappears from view.
Kenneth-"Oh shite!"
Author's Note: No! Chase, you idiot! What are you doing?!
Yes, I know we have been waiting far too long to see how Sherlock survived! (Curse you, Moffat!) But there's no excuse for this!
Actually, I'm surprised that we haven't seen anyone try to recreate the Reichenbach Fall in real life. Goodness knows that we are all curious as to how Sherlock survived, and we have been waiting long enough!
But we are all smarter than a certain Mycroft-worshipping, coffee-drinking, singing off-key fictional hacker that I created!
(And just for the record-No, I don't believe that Sherlock jumped into a truck full of cat litter. That's Chase's theory, not mine!)
I just need one review to continue this particular drabble to see whether or not Chase survives. If you find it in your hearts to review, then I might right an ending where he lives.
If not...
Oh, come on! Please review, even if you tell me that you hate it!