I'd Like to Step Into Your World:
"I was with them for a year… Lay and Toby that is," Dean admitted to the windshield.
Sam's head whipped around to look away from his phone to Dean's face asking, "A year?"
Dean simply nodded in reply without taking his eyes off the road and offering any other explanation.
"So then what?" Sam inquired as he demonstrated that he obviously was not satisfied with Dean's short and concise reasoning.
"Didn't work out," his brother once again replied bluntly. He then quirked an eyebrow and added, "After she bowed out from hunting because… Well after she bowed out, Lay kicked me out and I've never been one to argue with her reasoning… But the three of us… We're good…"
Dean then turned up the music to indicate that their conversation was over, so Sam didn't push the topic any further. He instead returned his attention to his phone, almost hoping that it would yield some clues as to what had happened while he was away from his brother. In his contact's list, he saw all of the usual names of hunters and classmates from school that he for some reason couldn't delete from his SIM card. As he continued, he then saw her name… Four short letters that held more weight for him than all Ten Commandments combined.
He waited until the tape finished and caught Dean off guard as he exchange this tape for another.
"Who's Toni?" Sam asked while keeping his attention on everything that was passing his window to his right.
Dean was so stunned by the question the he was barely able to cover up his surprise as he tried to nonchalantly reply, "Dude, how should I know? It's your phone… Are you sure it isn't some guy you knew back at school?"
Sam clenched his jaw and tersely answered, "Yeah, I'm sure. There was no GUY from school with that name… I deleted her number way back when…"
By this time the cassette tape had started playing again, so Sam refrained from shouting over his brother's music to finish his thought. Instead, he just stared at her name and wondered how it was still in his phone… Or how it had reappeared there at least. Then he checked the actual contact information that was attached to her name and thought, That wasn't her number… What the fuck is going on?
After Dean had left for San Francisco, Sam tried to keep his focus on the task at hand so that he could try to figure out where they would find their dragon. But despite these efforts his mind kept wandering and he almost called her number on a couple of occasions, just to find out if those ten digits would connect him to the woman he thought they would. Thankfully, Bobby called while Sam was once again going over some flaky description of some dragon lore because Sam was just about ready to toss his laptop against the motel room wall if he had to read one more World of Warcraft version of how he could save a young girl's life.
Bobby sounded very distracted during the conversation, but Sam knew deep down how many other hunters relied heavily on Bobby's help as well, so Sam tried to let his feelings of discomfort go. At the end of the day, he knew that he and everyone else had a job to do and that had to take top priority. If they had to be short with one another then it was most likely a result of the stress of the job and had nothing to do with anything personal. Sam tried to remind himself that in his case there was no way it could be personal because he had been in Hell for over a year… Hadn't he? How could he have done anything to make Bobby distrust him?
"Castiel… Umm… I'm back. So… If you got a minute…" Sam prayed while still sitting at the table where he had been continuing his research.
"Sam, it's good to see you alive."
"Yeah… You too," Sam replied standing up to greet the Angel and sounding somewhat unsure.
Castiel took a couple of steps towards Sam with his arms outstretched. Sam quickly diverted his gaze and sat back down stumbling to say, "Umm… Look… I… I would hug you, but…"
"That would be awkward," Castiel cut in as quickly retracted his hands.
"Umm… What a crazy year, huh? I… I… I just talked to Bobby. He… He told me everything that happened," Sam stated hesitantly in an attempt to change the subject.
"Frankly I'm surprised that you survived. I was begging Dean not to do it."
"Yeah, no I… I… I can understand that."
The angel didn't notice the look of confusion on the human's face as he continued, "You know, it's a miracle it didn't kill you."
Sam tried his best to continue as if he completely understood what Castiel was referring to as he agreed, "Yeah. Yeah, it's a miracle alright."
"So how does it feel?"
"What?"
"Well, you have your soul back of course," Castiel stated straightforwardly.
"Right," Sam answered while trying not to show his surprise or confusion. "Y-You mean 'cause I was walking around with no soul. Uhh… Really good Cas. I'm real good. You know what? I'm… I'm hazy on a few details thought. Umm… You think maybe you could… Walk me through?"
Castiel sat down at the table, nodding as he replied, "Yes, of course Sam. I'll try to answer any questions that you have."
The Angel watched as Sam pulled his phone out and started pressing buttons. Castiel was going to tell Sam that he did not possess the knowledge or expertise to assist him with any issues that Sam was having with his phone, but he waited for the human to ask his questions in silence just the same.
As Sam turned the display screen towards Castiel, he asked, "Could you maybe explain who sent these and why?"
Castiel took the cell phone to examine the messages to which Sam referred. Under the heading 'Toni Cell' he read: "I'M GONNA KILL U IN YOUR SLEEP!" Then "Where the fuck are you?" "No CRAP!" There were other messages, but Castiel already knew the circumstances under which Sam had received them, so he didn't bother reading the rest.
"I believe they would be from when you worked a job with Antonia in Mississippi," Cast replied while handing Sam back his phone.
"Antonia? You… You don't mean Toni McNamara do you?" Sam asked as he looked over the text messages again and then chuckled to himself.
"Yes that would be the name you are accustomed to calling her," Castiel answered as he watched Sam with a questioning look on his face. "Is there something amusing about you working with Antonia?"
Sam eyes slowly lifted from his cell phone to Castiel's face as he smiled to himself then answered, "Yeah… Well no. It's just that… Well knowing that these are from Toni, I can just imagine what was happening… You know, why she was upset with me and all?"
"She is quite a spirited woman," Castiel observed.
"Ha! Yeah that's one way to describe her… So would you by any chance know any of the details of that job?"
"Yes Sam, I do…"
"So Toni, what did you feel like having for dinner?"
Toni shifted her cloth grocery bag from one shoulder to another before she sheepishly answered, "Vanessa, you don't have to make me anything special… I'll just have whatever you and Joe would normally make… That's all I want."
Vanessa gently rocked the sleeping eighteen month old in her arms then scolded her friend saying, "Toni you've been force to eat Joe's cooking for the past week, so I owe you a proper meal."
"Oh, it wasn't that bad," Toni lied, not wanting to tell her hostess that she had been the primary chef while Vanessa was tending to her sick baby.
As they continued past a glass display case, Vanessa threw Toni a cautioning look and Toni kept for offering any other objections. Instead she started back 'window shopping' alongside of Vanessa, pretending that she was fully invested in planning out the meal of the evening. Even though she and her dad had a comfortable domestic routine when Toni was home, she still felt a mild level of unease about being a part of Vanessa's family unit.
"Ooh! How about crab cakes?" Vanessa asked so enthusiastically that she woke up her sleeping baby.
Toni was just about to answer when the tiny human erupted into a loud wailing cry. The infant's mother produced a bottle from her diaper bag so quickly that Toni hadn't had a chance to offer to help in any way. As the baby devoured the contents of the bottle, Vanessa continued down the walkway to her previously intended destination. Toni had to jog to catch up with her friend because Vanessa moved with such ease even though she was also tending to her fussy baby.
"So how does the crab meat look to you? I think it looks amazing… You are going to love my crab cakes," Vanessa cheerfully commented as she placed the bottle back in her bag and patted the infant gently on the back. Before Toni had a chance to say anything, Vanessa was placing her order with the man behind the counter.
Toni had been put in charge of carrying and paying for their purchases, so she exchanged some cash for the seafood then placed it in the bag with the rest of their supplies on her shoulder. By the time Toni turned to ask her friend where they were heading to next, Vanessa had already traveled two stalls over and was placing her order with that merchant. Toni once again jogged to meet the energetic mother and quickly paid for that purchase as well.
"Alright, so I think that we've almost got everything we need for dinner… Now what about for breakfast…?" Vanessa said as she shifted the contents of their grocery bag around while it was still on Toni's shoulder. When she looked up, she saw that her companion was staring at her with a strange look on her face prompting the mother to question apprehensively, "What? Crap! Did Stephanie spit up on me again?"
Toni shook her head to get herself out of her daze as she replied, "No… No it's nothing like that… It's just… How do you make it look so easy?"
"Make what look so easy?"
"All of this," Toni answered pointing from the baby to the bag on her shoulder. "You make being a mom look fun even when you must be beyond exhausted. Seriously I just don't know how you do it."
Vanessa chuckled then pivoted on her heel to continue shopping before saying, "Are you kidding me? This is a walk in the park compared to what you do… I mean you put your life on the line to save perfect strangers; I'm just taking care of my daughter. You know… Oh… Crap…"
"What? What's wrong?" Toni inquired gripping her friend's arm a little too tightly while trying not to panic.
"Ugh, you totally lied! Stephanie did spit up in my hair!" Vanessa exclaimed. Before Toni had mentally caught up with the mother, Vanessa was placing her sleeping baby into Toni's arms explaining, "Okay the restrooms are down this way… I'll just be a minute and then I'll meet you by the fresh fruit."
Toni stared at the tiny child in her arms then before looking up she called out, "No Vanessa I… I…" As soon as she had to lifted her gaze, Toni stopped herself because Vanessa had already disappeared.
Her eyes quickly snapped back down to Stephanie because she heard the baby starting to sputter out a soft cry. "Shit… No, no, no, no, no…" She pleaded quietly. "Please? Don't cry Stephie, don't cry. Please? Shh… Shh… Please!"
As Toni bounced Stephanie in her arms, she started to pace and continued to quietly plead with the baby to stop crying. She jumped a little when she felt someone gently touch her back, but she kept her eyes solely focused on the baby that was wailing loudly.
"Do you need a hand Miss?" A gentle voice asked from behind her.
"Oh God, yes please!" Toni replied, not attempting in the least to hide her sense of relief. "There's a bottle in the diaper bag… Could you hand it to me, please?"
"Sure," he replied with a soft chuckle. It didn't take him long to find one of the full bottles and handed it to her with a soft, "Here you go."
"Awesome!" She exclaimed snatching it out of his hand. "Here Stephie. Please work, please work…"
Toni sighed loudly then smiled brightly when the infant took the bottle and her cries were immediately silenced. She didn't pry her eyes away from Stephanie's face for fear that this peace was just fleeting and that Stephanie would start crying again with a renewed vigor.
"She's a beautiful baby," Toni's savior commented in a hushed tone to avoid disturbing the infant from his new place at Toni's side.
Toni chuckled softly then replied, "Yeah, she is… When she isn't screaming bloody murder that is… Thanks again…"
Toni finally lifted her eyes to finish her grateful statement, but instead she gasped out a surprised, "Sam?"
After hearing his name, he looked over at her and muttered his own stunned, "Toni? And you have a… Wow… But honestly, she's gorgeous."
"Thanks Sam." Toni started feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment. "But…"
"Seriously Toni? I leave you for like two minutes and you're already hitting on some hot guy?" Vanessa playfully admonished her friend upon her return.
Both Sam and Toni turned towards Vanessa, but before they could make any attempts to defend themselves, she nearly shouted, "Sam! Oh my God! Sam Winchester? Is that really you?"
Before he could confirm his identity, Vanessa pulled him into a crushing hug. "Sam, it has been too damn long!"
"Yeah," Sam agreed with an uncomfortable chuckle. "It has."
She pushed back on his chest then gave it a playful slap saying, "And the years certainly have been good to you."
"Thanks Vanessa… You're looking well too," Sam replied somewhat shyly.
As Vanessa reclaimed her child from Toni's arms, she happily commented, "You got her to eat again. Thank God… Her appetite is finally coming back."
Sam stared at the two women as they repositioned their bags and the baby then said in a confused tone, "Oh… She's… She's yours Vanessa?"
Vanessa looked over at him then laughed loudly. "Sam! You should know our Toni well enough to know that already."
He chuckled uneasily then agreed, "Yeah, yeah I guess that I should."
"So Sam? What brings you to Portland?" Toni quickly asked with the hopes that she could change the subject and take their focus off herself.
"Oh… Umm… I just have this… Uhh job that I'm working on," he explained awkwardly.
Toni watched him as he carefully chose his words. He genuinely seemed to be at a loss to find a way to explain why he found himself on the West Coast, so she bluntly asked, "If you and Dean are working a job, then where's he hiding?"
Sam was so stunned by her question that he was momentarily at a loss for words. "Dean? Well… He had to check in with a source down in San Francisco… And I was still looking into a few leads up here…"
Vanessa looked between them and didn't seem to notice the tension that resided in the muscles of Toni's upper back as she asked, "So does that mean that you're stuck up here alone for dinner?"
"Yeah, I guess it does," Sam answered not fully catching onto her true intentions.
"Perfect! Then you'll come over to my place for a home cooked meal!" She proclaimed in such a way that there was no chance for Sam to protest or decline her invitation. "Sam, give Toni your phone. Toni, you put my number and everything in there. If you need directions just give me a call."
Sam absentmindedly handed over his phone and Toni almost reluctantly followed her orders as well. Vanessa smiled smugly to herself then continued down the walkway and called over her shoulder, "Dinner's at seven sharp. See you then!"
Toni was finishing typing the last of Vanessa's details as Sam laughed and asked, "How has she always been able to do that?"
"I think she might actually be a witch," Toni joked in return before looking up at him and remembering who the man standing beside her actually was. She then swallowed hard, thrust her hand out to return his phone to him and more seriously replied, "She just really hates taking no for an answer… But you don't have to come… I can always cover for you and say that something came up with this job or something else."
Sam wrapped his hand around hers so that they were both holding his phone and sincerely answered, "No, no it's okay. It's been a long time since I've had a meal that consisted of something other than diner food, so a home cooked meal sounds great." He then noticed the uncomfortable look on Toni's face and added, "Unless… Unless there's some other reason you don't want me to go…"
She shook her head, smiling with some unease and answered, "No, it's fine. Why would it bother me at all? I guess that means we'll see you for seven then."
Before he could say anything else, Toni slipped her hand out of his grasp then sprinted towards Vanessa's current location. Sam shook his head sadly even though he didn't know the exact reason why Toni was hurting, but he also understood that she wasn't going to jump at the chance to discuss it with him. He still remained determine to make it up to her somehow and he knew it wasn't going to be easy because she could be just as stubborn as his brother sometimes, but he couldn't live with himself if he didn't at least try.
After paying the cab driver, Sam picked up the two bouquets of flowers and bottle of wine he had brought with him and then stood on the sidewalk just staring at the Walker's front door. He figured that as long as he and Toni were both guests in the Walker's home that Toni would refrain from shutting him out much to keep from being overtly rude. He knew that all he needed was a moment alone with her to explain everything and to apologize. Even if she didn't accept, at least he'd have one of his many apologies completed and out of the way.
"Toni, you look gorgeous," Vanessa teased when she caught Toni covertly checking her reflection in a window pane. "Stop worrying so much about that, Sam's totally going to fall for you again."
"What?" Toni questioned with a nervous laugh as she pulled down some plates from the cupboard. "What are you talking about? I wasn't checking myself out… And of course he'll fall for me, what guy wouldn't?" Toni joked trying to cover up her nervousness.
"Sure you weren't… Sure… And so modest to boot… Either way, I'm going to go look in on Stephanie. Could you do me a favor and check on the crab and salmon cakes after you're done setting the table?"
"Of course," Toni replied even though Vanessa had already exited the room.
As she tended to the meal, Toni heard the doorbell ring then Vanessa's husband called out that he would answer it. Toni tried to continue slicing some vegetables for the salad, but her hands started shaking so violently from her nervous anticipation that she had to stop for fear of slicing one or more of her fingers. In an attempt to stop their movement, she stared at her hands for a few minutes then took in a deep breath while willing herself to calm down.
Come on Toni, deep breath. It's just dinner. You can get through this… How long can it take? An hour? Maybe two? No big deal… You just need to get through this.
By the time she had finished coaching herself, Toni could hear the other three in another room having a cheerful conversation and laughing heartily. Even though she had calmed herself down considerably, Toni stayed in the kitchen busying herself with any other prep work that she could find that would delay her having to see Sam again.
Vanessa entered the room still laughing loudly at whatever joke or anecdote one of the males had told and then passed the wine bottle to Toni saying, "Why don't you open the wine and pour us each a glass?" When Toni hesitated she added, "I'm pretty sure you've made enough salad to feed an army… Now no more hiding in the kitchen… Sam didn't come all this way just to visit with me and my beau… Plus, he brought you these."
She held up one of the bouquets of Toni's favorite flowers causing Toni to blush brightly. "I just wanted to make sure that I had everything done for dinner, I wasn't hiding," Toni defended herself as she passed Vanessa two filled glasses and made her way to the living room.
Before Toni left the room, she stopped at the door and called over her shoulder with a wink, "So you coming or what Walker?"
They met the men in the living room and after Toni passed Sam his glass, she quickly found a seat on the opposite side of the coffee table from him. Her gut instinct was to put as much space (and furniture) between herself and Sam as possible, but once she was seated comfortably on the hearth of the fireplace, she noticed that this position made it nearly impossible for her not to look at him during their conversation. And then she realized that it gave him an easy, unobstructed view of her, which she could feel him taking full advantage of any chance that he could. The two of them inevitably caught each other's eye during the prerequisite catching up about everything that they each had been doing during their time apart, but Toni quickly hid behind her wine glass or found some other way to distract herself from Sam's gaze.
When she had the chance and thought she wouldn't get caught, Toni allowed her gaze to linger on Sam as she thought, Is it just me or… Or is this a different Sam? No… NO TONI! No… That's just wishful thinking you idiot! Don't do that to yourself.
"Toni! Toni? Is everything okay?" Vanessa asked loudly, just barely able to hold in her undeniable urge to burst into fits of laughter.
Toni's eyes snapped over to her host and hostess as she quickly replied, "I… I think it smells like dinner is ready. Is anyone hungry?"
Vanessa just smiled then quietly agreed with her before ordering the men to retire to the dining room while they finished with getting the meal ready. Sam almost tried to offer to help the ladies, but it only took one look from Vanessa to silence his proposition before he could say it aloud. He then obediently followed Joe to the dining room without a single word spoken between himself and Vanessa.
Toni was pulling a couple of dishes out of the oven while Vanessa cheerfully teased, "So I was right! You still want him… And bad!"
Before turning around fully to look at her friend, Toni bit back a tear filled sob and was just barely able to keep her voice steady as she pleaded, "Vanessa? Please don't say anything to him? Please… Pretty, pretty please? Some really messed up stuff has happened since we last spoke and now… Well now I KNOW that things will never work… Between Sam and I that is…" When she thought that her friend was going to try to joke and make light of the situation, Toni finally allowed some of her raw emotion to show in her voice as she continued her plea, "Please Vanessa? I just don't think that I could go… Not again… Not…"
Vanessa abruptly turned Toni around in her place to pull her into a tight, loving hug replying, "Oh… My… God… I'm so sorry! I really didn't know Sweets… I wouldn't have pushed so hard if I knew that he had broken your heart… Oh God, Sweets you'll be okay, right?"
While still being held in her friends arms, Toni moved her head up and down then side to side saying, "It's okay… I'm okay… But I should have told you before now… Sorry Vee…"
After releasing Toni from her bone crushing hug, Vanessa very earnestly proposed, "You know, now that Stephanie is over her flu, I think you and I HAVE to go for a girl's night so we can do a proper catch up… Deal?" Toni nodded and smiled then Vanessa asked with a slight bit of concern in her voice, "Seriously… Hun, are you going to be okay? You know with him being here and all? I'll kick him out for you Sweets…"
Toni continued to smile brightly then managed to light heartedly reply, "Motherhood must be making you soft Vee… Seriously, when have I ever let a guy get between me and a good meal? I'm good… Really I'm fine, promise."
When Vanessa picked up some of the warm food dishes while smiling and laughing, Toni was convinced that she had eased her friend's mind. But Toni still lingered in the kitchen until she heard their conversation in the other room continue with a renewed happy vigor so that she was ensured that she would be able to compose herself. She then easily slipped into her seat unnoticed while the three others continued their discussion.
"So, Sam… What is your line of work exactly?" Joe asked bluntly because he was just too genuinely curious about the job that Sam had alluded to on more than one occasion.
Toni stopped all movement to listen to Sam's answer with much apprehension on his behalf, but Sam just smiled easily as he responded, "Well… I specialize in finding missing persons, but…"
"He's in Search and Rescue like me," Toni inadvertently blurted because of her desire to cover up for Sam and herself.
"Oh? Well that's cool," Joe observed casually. "So… Have you two ever had to work a rescue together?"
"Yeah," they both answered in unison. "A couple of times in particular," Sam finished when Toni shied away from elaborating.
She then let Sam explain any of the details he chose to share about the jobs the two of them had worked together. Toni could feel her heart softening as she listened to his different versions of the people he had helped because he had used a tone of genuine concern throughout the dialogue. She still felt like there was something different about him, but she tried her best to shake that feeling off… At least she wanted to believe there was, but deep down she knew that she was still just projecting her own emotions onto him in a continual justification of her feelings.
"Oh and that would be Stephanie vying for my attention… Sorry guys," Vanessa announced as she held up the baby monitor to the 'crowd'.
Before the mother could ask, Toni jumped up from her seat offering, "I'll clean up the dishes and start working on dessert… Sam, give me hand would ya?"
Sam looked up at her and almost audibly sighed before answering enthusiastically, "I'd be happy to help!"
Toni had already gathered up most of the plates, so Sam just easily grabbed the few remaining dishes and followed her without saying another word. As he placed them on the counter top, Toni was loading the dishwasher, so he thought he would be able to start this next round of conversation, but then he hear Toni ask her questions first without turning away from the dishwasher to make sure that Sam had heard her properly.
"I'm sorry Toni, I didn't quite catch what you asked there," he replied politely.
As she stood up and turned around, she slowly and calmly asked again, "Why are you here Sam?"
"Oh? Umm… Well… Because Vanessa wanted me to come over so we could all catch up on old times together?" He answered hesitantly.
Toni snickered slightly then tried again in a less severe voice as she sat down, "No… I meant… What job has brought you and Dean to Portland? Is… Is it the missing girls?"
Sam sat down on a stool across from where Toni was seated and relaxed considerably then replied, "Yeah… Actually that's exactly it."
Toni slumped in her seat and grumbled, mostly to herself, "Fuck! So it isn't a serial killer… Dammit! You really can't trust the media… So what is it? I mean, we already know that Leprechauns and Fairies go after the eldest son… So what goes after single, white, brunette females? Oh… Shit! Should… Should I be staying indoors until you and Dean are done?"
He tried to reply without laughing out loud, but Sam found it beyond difficult to answer her question while also hiding his cheeky grin. "No… You're safe. Really Toni you, of all people, don't have to worry."
Knowing that she was the center of Sam's amusement caused Toni to silently become quite angry, but she maintained a calm demeanor as she tried to clarify his statement asking, "And that means what exactly?"
Sam's eyes shot up as he apologetically answered, "Oh sorry… It's that it's… Umm… A dragon and they go after virgins… I didn't mean to offend you at all."
"Huh… And Dean's in San Francisco to get something that will find them?" She asked, too intrigued with the new information to pretend that she was offended by his previous statement.
"No actually, he getting something to kill them," Sam corrected her without looking up from the counter top that separated both of them.
"Oh? Uhh… Cool. So… Then… Why are you HERE Sam?" Toni asked again, her voice breaking slightly. When his eyes met her, she could see his unasked questions so she continued "I mean, why aren't you trying to find it…? Them…? The dragon and all…?"
Sam chanced a physical connection by lightly grasping her hand across the island's countertop explaining, "I'm pretty sure I know where they hide out, but I can't hunt them until Dean gets back so… So when I saw you I was hoping that we would have a chance to talk… Just the two of us."
She slowly lifted her eyes to his face hoarsely asking, "Me? What would you want to talk about with me?"
"Well Castiel didn't really go into detail, but I know that we worked together, at least once or twice and…"
"Cas?" Toni clarified just over a whisper. "The angel? He…?"
"Okay, Stephanie's sleeping again… Who's up for cake?" Vanessa joyously asked from the doorway.
Toni quickly snatched her hand back and stood up answering, "Actually… Umm… I'm kind of stuffed… Dinner was great though…"
Sam watched Toni with a keen eye and then when she refused to make eye contact with him somewhat dejectedly replied, "Yeah… Uhh… Actually I should probably be heading out… You know to see if Dean's gotten back yet or not."
"Oh really?" Vanessa clarified without trying to hide her sadness at the prospect of the dinner party ending. "Well, if you must go…"
"But it really was great seeing you again Vanessa," Sam added as he gave her a hug. "And Toni's right, that was the best meal I've had in ages. Next time that I'm in town, I promise I'll make sure to give you a call."
She squeezed Sam's torso replying, "I'd really like that." After he released her, she continued, "Joe's already fallen asleep in his arm chair, but I know that he really appreciated getting to meet you. Hopefully we'll see you again soon."
Sam nodded then at the front door, he turned and quietly said, "It was good to see you again too Toni… Hopefully I'll see you around…"
He turned to leave through the open door, but Vanessa stopped him while asking, "Sam, where'd you park?"
"Oh… Umm… I took a cab, so I guess I'll be needing to call them…"
"Oh no you don't!" Vanessa jumped in before he could finish his thought. "Toni would be more than happy to drive you to make sure you get back you to your motel safe."
Toni wanted to hang her head, but refrained from doing so because she didn't want to be rude to her friend. "I'll just grab my jacket and keys. I'll meet you out at my truck Sam."
Out in the yard, Sam shifted his weight from one foot to another beside the Walker's vehicles in the driveway. Toni paused to do up her jacket then watched Sam with a curious eye because he wasn't anywhere close to waiting by her truck.
She walked passed him, she jutted her chin in the direction of the roadway saying, "Truck's over there."
Those were the last words spoken between them for nearly the entire drive back to the Winchester's motel. Toni was content to sit in silence, no matter how awkward it was, but thankfully her CD player started and the cab was instead filled with the sound of her usual driving soundtrack. Sam alternated between watching the scenery pass the window on his right hand side and trying to discreetly watch Toni out of the corner of his eye.
When they got closer to their destination, Sam gave her brief instructions how to get to their room then fell completely silent again. After another song played through, he finally felt like he had mustered up enough courage to try to apologize to her again.
"Toni… I don't exactly know what I did, but I truly am so…"
She tried to keep her eyes solely on the road, but still could feel a lump forming in her throat listening to his words. She still didn't feel ready to talk with him again and desperately tried to find a way out of this conversation as soon as possible.
"Oh… Hey… Look! Dean's back!" She interrupted letting her sheer relief show with every word.
"Yeah… He is… Good… Good…" Sam mumbled more than a little disappointed by Toni's reaction.
By the time Toni was parked, Dean had finished unpacking and had returned to their room, so Sam turned and simply said, "Well, thanks for the ride… I guess I'll see you around… Umm… What are you doing?"
Toni had her seatbelt unbuckled as she replied, "Well… it would be rude of me not to pop in and say hi to Dean."
Sam walked in stunned silence as he watched her hurry in the direction of their room. His feet slowed to an absolute snail's pace when he saw Toni pull Dean into a hug as soon as his brother opened the door. He knew that after all of the horrible things he had done, he had no right to feel hurt, but it didn't stop him from feeling slightly heart broken about Toni's behavior towards him just the same.
"Dean!" Toni quietly exclaimed. "Congratulations!"
Dean tentatively patted Toni's back as he replied, "Umm… Thanks?"
He pushed out of her embrace then asked, "I'm sorry, but why are you congratulating me?"
Sam had finally made it to their room, so Toni took a step back and put her hands in her pocket feeling slightly embarrassed by her display of affection to the older Winchester. Sam made a snide remark under his breath about how friendly the two of them seemed which caused Toni to retract even further into herself.
"Umm… Congrats on finding something to kill the dragon and all… Uhh… Yeah, I should probably go…" She explained, silently hating herself for the awkwardness that she created in the room.
Dean looked between the two of them and bit back a laugh when he noticed that they both refused to look at the other. He wasn't sure what had happened between the two of them while he was gone, but he could sense that they needed to talk about it, so he backed towards the door saying, "Thanks… It was definitely more complicated that I had thought it would be so I sort of skipped dinner… Anyone want anything while I'm out?"
Sam simply shook his head and mumbled "No thanks" while Toni's head snapped up as she stared at the elder Winchester wide eyed now that he blocked her escape route.
Dean nodded in the direction of his brother's back and mouthed, "Talk to him" before he left.
Sam assumed that Toni had snuck out with Dean, so he resigned himself to just continuing with research until his brother got back. Before sitting down, he took off his jacket and threw it hard onto his bed with a frustrated grunt. Toni jumped in her spot and after seeing that Sam appeared to be genuinely angry, she tried to talk herself out of what she was going to do next.
"We killed a werewolf together," Toni finally stated to Sam's back.
He slowly turned around to look at her with a soft, almost sad look on his face, so Toni continued with a bit more confidence, "I mean you and I did… Dean went home to see his… His family. You saved my life."
Sam's knees almost gave out, so he quickly at down on his bed before they had a chance to. "I… I did?"
Toni walked up to him so that they were able to look at each other eye to eye before replying, "Yeah… I probably would have died from hypothermia if you hadn't taken care of me."
They searched each other's eyes for answers that they weren't offering each other. Sam finally felt bold enough to be blunt, so he took Toni's hand and asked, "But after that, I did something that hurt you… I know I did Toni, I can see it in your eyes… In the way you've been since you realized it was me at the Market."
Toni shook her head, but she couldn't keep her smile from being anything but sad as she said, "It… It's nothing Sam. Really… It wasn't you so it doesn't matter."
Sam squeezed her hand gently and countered her statement, "It is something Toni… I had no right to do anything to hurt you and I need to make it up to you."
Before she could stop herself, Toni leaned down and kissed Sam softly. They both seemed stunned by the intimate contact at first, but then Sam ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her into another, deeper embrace. Toni wasn't ready to take their contact any further, so she made sure to remain standing even though Sam tried to pull her onto his lap more than once.
"Ahem… Sorry… I didn't mean to interrupt," Dean commented from the doorway without hiding his amusement.
Toni jumped back about two feet then avoided looking at either Winchester as her skin turned bright crimson. Sam stared at his hands, but Dean could see the pink on his neck as well, so he opted for a topic change over acknowledging their uncomfortable situation.
"So… Did anything else interesting happen when I was gone?"
Toni and Sam visibly relaxed then Sam walked over to the table where Dean was eating and pulled out a chair to sit down with him.
"Well there haven't been any other abductions if that's what you mean… How did everything go in San Francisco?"
Dean grimaced then swallowed his last mouthful of food then sarcastically replied, "Oh everything went awesome."
Toni and Sam scowled in confusion, so he got up and walked over to his bag. After he pulled something out, he turned back to them and gave Toni and Sam a cheeky grin.
Sam walked over and took the broken sword from his brother asking, "And what are we supposed to do with this Dean? Give it a booster shot?"
Dean shrugged replying, "It's what we got, alright? We're just gonna have to get closer, that's all." Sam handed the mangled piece of weaponry back to his brother while Dean asked, "Where are we on the caves?"
"Nowhere," Sam answered leaning over the table that held their research. Toni almost interrupted him in her confusion because she thought that Sam had told her he had that all figured out, but then Sam continued, "Sewers on the other hand… Here… Check it out."
Toni stood up and walked to Sam's left side while Dean stood to his right. "So two of the disappearances happened with a mile of here, so I think we start there and work our way around."
"Awesome. Who doesn't love sewers," Dean replied with mock enthusiasm. "Let's go."
Sam hesitated then stole a glance at Toni as she stared at the map. When their eyes met she simply asked, "Did you find the entrance before running into Vanessa and I?"
After Sam nodded she moved towards the door adding, "Good… I'd hate to think that we delayed you in any way."
"Wait!" Sam and Dean called out in unison. "You… You aren't coming?" Sam asked, finishing the thought he and his brother shared.
"Nah, you guys have this covered," Toni answered nonchalantly before flashing them a mischievous smile. "I already pissed off a werewolf and met the business end of her claws… And I'm guessing that a dragon won't be joining my Fan Club since I'm not a woman of virtue and all." Dean laughed, but Sam just looked at her with sad regret, so Toni tried to appease him adding, "I just don't want to make the fight any harder than it has to be for you two… Good luck guys."
She quickly left the room, but leaned against the closed door to catch her breath.
Dean looked at Sam and gave him a moment to verbalize his thoughts before asking, "What?"
Sam exhaled a sigh then replied, "Nothing… Uhh… Yeah, let's go kill a dragon."