It was six months before Thor came back.

Six months before we faced a threat that we couldn't handle without him; but he was true to his word and returned when needed. Just when we thought all was lost; there he was, in a swirl of crimson cape with a thunderclap on his heels.

I stole quick glances at him during the fight, telling myself that the grim set of his mouth, and the flat anger in his eyes was all part and parcel of battle. But even after we had won; after the back-slaps and congratulations had been passed around, still the god was subdued; changed from the man we'd known before.

Leave it to Stark to cut straight to the chase.

"Seems like you've got a bee in your bonnet, Goldilocks. Things a little rough on the homefront? How's that crazy not-brother of yours?"

Thor briefly closed his eyes, and I saw the way his knuckles whitened as his grip on Mjolnir firmed. I think I was the only one that realized exactly how close the Asgardian came to putting Tony through the nearest wall. But he reined in his anger, and when that electric blue gaze came to rest on the billionaire, Thor just looked…tired.

"I do not know how Loki fares," Thor replied tersely. "He is far and away, serving out his punishment for the destruction he visited upon Midgard."

"Really," Stark exclaimed. "And here I thought daddy would just pitch him into the deepest dungeon you guys had and call it a day. But he…what? Banished him?"

"Nothing quite so permanent," Thor returned in a quiet voice. "Loki has the chance to return someday. Provided he learns the lessons set before him and attempts to…change."

"So he'll be back two weeks from never," Tony snorted.

"Enough with that," Cap barked, shooting Tony a venomous look as he stepped forward. "Remember; that's his brother you're talking about. A little compassion wouldn't kill you."

"No, but Loki almost killed me," Stark shot back before turning his attention once more to Thor. "Sorry, but you know it's true. I tend to take offense when people throw me out of windows."

Thor nodded wearily and raised one hand in a placating gesture. "Please. There is no need to try and shelter me. Your anger is well deserved and in no way misplaced. Loki caused much damage, in a myriad of ways. He wronged so many in his short time here." The god's gaze roamed over each of us then, before coming to rest on me. "You, most of all, Clint Barton," he finished, his tone weighed down with sadness.

'Oh fuck,' I thought, and suddenly it felt like my veins were full of ice water. I didn't know what Thor knew; how much Loki had told him; or if he was simply referring to the time I spent under his brother's thrall.

What I did know was that I very much disliked how everyone's eyes were now on me, waiting for my response.

'Yeah, well, I would think all the people he killed might have been wronged a little worse than I was," I snapped, praying that my voice remain steady.

"Perhaps," Thor mused. "But while they paid the ultimate price, they are now at peace. Can you say the same, archer? Have you found peace?"

"I…am so not having this conversation right now," I growled.

With that, I shouldered my bow, turned, and stalked back to the Quinjet.

Natasha was the first to board the aircraft, and she strapped herself into the co-pilot's chair, holding her silence all the while. I could feel the curiosity coming off her in waves. We had never really talked about my time in Loki's service. I think she knew me well enough to know that if I wanted to talk about it, I would. And if I didn't, then there was nothing she could do to pull the information from me.

It seemed that Thor's comments had negated that knowledge, though, and she turned to me, asking cautiously, "Clint?"

"Don't," I ground out, my gaze directed firmly forward, somewhere in the middle distance ahead of the aircraft. "Just…don't."

She sighed then and started flipping switches, readying the bird for flight. I knew that this wasn't over; just delayed. Once Tasha got an idea in her head, it was next to impossible to shake it loose until she had all the answers. And those were answers I was unwilling to give. To anyone.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Shortly after the battle of Manhattan, Fury had insisted that we all continue to bunk at Stark Tower. He had prattled on about bonding and learning to work as a cohesive unit. I'd nodded and agreed, but something within me had refused to let the lease expire on my own apartment. And as soon as our debriefing was over, I tore out of SHIELD headquarters and went straight to my old digs. I couldn't shake the memory of how the rest of the Avengers had looked at me after Thor's little speech, and I'd be damned if I was going back to the Tower so they could prod and poke and stare at me.

Ninety minutes and four beers later, there was a knock at the door.

I shut my eyes and let my head fall back against the cushions of the couch. I certainly wasn't expecting anyone, and there wasn't a goddamn person on this planet that I wanted to talk to right now. So whoever was on the other side of that door could just stay there, as far as I was concerned.

A moment later and the knock became a pounding that rattled the door in its frame and confirmed my fears about who might have come calling.

"Clint Barton! I would speak with you," Thor bellowed from the hallway.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands, hoping against hope that he would just give up; go away; catch a ride on the rainbow road, or whatever the hell it was back to Asgard and leave me alone.

But no. Thor was not going to be deterred.

"Grant me entrance, archer, or Mjolnir will."

"Fuck," I muttered, and heaved myself up from the couch. "Just hang on a minute," I shouted as I made my way across the room. "There's no need for all that."

I unlocked the door and swung it open, leveling a glare at the god. "What," I spat, taking in his grim expression.

"I would speak with you," he stated.

"Yeah, you said that already. So speak."

"Will you not extend the courtesy of inviting me into your chambers," he huffed. "I do not think this is the proper setting for all that needs to be said."

"Goddamn it," I snarled. "I don't have anything to say to you. But you're obviously not going to go away until you've said your piece, so fine. Come in."

I cursed my way into the kitchen, grabbing another beer and twisting the cap off before flinging it in the general direction of the garbage can. 'Two points,' I thought absently as it dropped neatly inside. When I turned, Thor filled the doorway that led back into the living room, watching me with a strange, sad expression.

That rattled me a little. Not sure why, but it did.

I dropped my gaze, pretending to suddenly be very interested in reading the label on the bottle clenched in my white knuckled fist. "So, what," I questioned. "What was so important that you had to hunt me down?"

"I am not your enemy, Hawk," Thor rumbled.

"You're not my friend, either," I bit out. "And how did you manage to find me, anyway? Only one other person knows about this place, and they'd never talk."

"Heimdall," he replied. "The Watcher Between Worlds sees all."

"Oh yeah? Can he see me right now?"

"Of course," Thor answered, a measure of confusion apparent in his voice.

I tilted my head back, taking a long, slow pull from the bottle in my right hand, while extending the middle finger of my left toward the ceiling.

Thor frowned at me, saying, "I do not know the meaning of this gesture, but I can gather it is an insolent one."

"That's right," I answered flippantly. "You're not the first to brand me insolent."

And then my asshole brain replayed the moment I'd first sunk my teeth into Loki's throat, and he'd gasped out the same word. I took another long drink to steel myself. I was not nearly as drunk as I needed to be for this particular conversation.

"So are you gonna talk, or what?"

Thor's shoulders slumped and he heaved a deep sigh. "I did not think this would be easy, but you are proving to be most insufferable. I had hoped you would not be quite so…combative."

"Combative," I choked, slamming my beer down on the counter nearly hard enough to shatter the bottle. "You think this is combative?! You show up and flash those goddamn puppy dog eyes at me while calling me out in front of my entire team, and then whine about me being angry? You should count yourself lucky I didn't punch you square in the mouth for pulling that bullshit!"

The god's brows drew together and muttered, "I-I did not mean to offend. I simply..."

"You simply called my state of mind into question," I cut in, my voice low and rough, but quickly growing in volume. "Six fucking months of insisting that I'm fine. Six months of forced therapy and being under a magnifying glass. Six months of working at convincing my team that they can trust me…and you wiped all of that out with your little speech! What the fuck was that about, anyway?!"

Thor's face fell as I raged at him, comprehension dawning in his eyes as my words sank in.

"My apologies, Clint Barton," he intoned. "That was never my intention. I have wanted to speak with you for some time now; to see how you are faring in the aftermath of what Loki wrought."

"Why," I demanded. "Why me? What is it about me that's so goddamn special? Yeah, I'm the only Avenger your brother pulled his mind control trick on, but really…I'm just one of many that he kidnapped. Are you planning on having this cozy little chat with each and every one of them, too?"

"No," Thor answered wearily. "None of the others were as close to Loki as you were."

I froze in the midst of reaching for the bottle, that familiar shiver of dread running down my spine as I asked carefully, "Who told you that?"

"Loki himself named you as his second in command," the god replied. "He said you were indispensible to him."

"Not by choice," I grumbled, before draining the rest of my beer in three long swallows.

"I understand that," Thor soothed. "But the fact remains that you were his right hand, and may be able to answer the questions I need to ask."

"Questions about what, exactly?"

Thor sighed again and ran one hand over the nape of his neck before lifting his troubled gaze to meet mine. "The All-Father granted me one boon before he cast Loki out. He gave me three days and nights with my brother, in which I attempted to discern why he chose the course of action he did. The first day he would not speak. The second, he ranted and cursed. And on the third? On the third the words flowed from him like a pent up river. Much of what he said was unintelligible to me. But I came away from our time together with more questions than answers."

I held the empty beer bottle tightly, attempting to quell the tremors in my hands as Thor spoke. It was obvious to me that Loki's confessions to his brother had troubled the Thunderer, and I was terrified to ask exactly what had been said.

"I can't promise that I know any more than you do," I said slowly. "But I'll answer what I can."

"That is all I ask," Thor replied, the relief evident in his voice. "I know that this is not…comfortable for you."

"Understatement of the century, big guy," I snorted.

"You are the only one that can perhaps verify Loki's claims."

"God of Lies, right," I asked. "I guess you'd sorta have to doubt anything he says."

"Sadly, yes," Thor agreed. "Loki will say anything to save his own skin. As much as I want to believe him, there is a small voice in my head that insists I should not do anything of the sort."

I gave a curt nod before tossing the empty beer bottle in the trash and fishing another from the fridge. I held out an extra to Thor and he took it gingerly, murmuring his thanks. I waited as he took his first sip, and then gave a tiny smile at the expansive grimace that rose on his face.

"Not exactly what you're used to, I'm sure," I chuckled.

"No," Thor answered. "This is much more bitter than the mead you find on Asgard, but it is welcomed, nonetheless."

"Alright," I huffed. "Enough stalling. Let's get down to it. What do you want to know?"

Thor set aside the bottle and gave me a piercing look. "Loki mentioned that he was not working alone in his plans to rule Midgard. That there was someone 'above' him. He refused to admit he was being used or controlled, but his phrasing made it very clear to me that he was not entirely himself for most of his time in this realm."

"There were times that he sort of…went away," I said, choosing my words carefully. "He would freeze up, and his eyes would glaze over. When he would come back to himself, he'd always be a little more frantic; kinda angry. Like he just got his ass chewed out. He mentioned someone he called the 'Other' a few times."

"Yes," Thor breathed. "That was the name he gave me, as well. He also told of one above the Other. One which had no name beyond 'He' and 'Him'. It is the unnamed one's wrath that Loki fears."

I thought back, rifling through the memories of my time under Loki's thrall, before seizing onto one just prior to our arrival in Stuttgart. Loki had come back to himself in a rage, muttering under his breath as he paced.

"Yeah," I murmured. "I seem to remember him saying, 'He is not to be denied,' and I didn't get the feeling that he was talking about the Other."

"And these…comrades of his; they could reach into Loki's mind? Pull him away to communicate with him? They could do this at any time?"

"Seems that way," I answered. "We'd be in the middle of something; didn't matter what, and then he'd just be gone."

Thor's brows furrowed as he mulled over this bit of information. After a moment he raised his gaze to mine and asked softly, "Was that what it was like while you were under the spell of the Tesseract? Could Loki dip into your mind in the same way?"

I winced at the memory of how easily Loki was able to breach my mind. Just a simple touch of those slim, cool fingers to my temple, and all was laid bare to him. No secrets; no hiding anything. Full access to all I thought; all I was.

"Sorta," I rasped, my heart tripping along merrily as I relived each and every time Loki had delved into my mind.

And still my thoughts and feelings regarding the mad god were in a tangled, fucked up mess. I'd thought I'd managed to sort them out somewhat over the last six months, and then along came Thor and now I was right back where I started, it seemed. I felt a twinge of resentment prickling in the corner of my mind; whispering that I'd never totally be okay; never really know what I was feeling ever again.

"Then perhaps he truly was operating under the power of another," Thor exclaimed, a glimmer of hope showing in those electric blue eyes.

"I suppose that's possible," I ventured. "But still, I don't think it was exactly the same as what I went through. I couldn't help what I did. I literally had no control over my actions. Loki told me what to do, and I did it. No questions, no hesitation."

"How do you know that it was not the same for Loki," Thor demanded in a defensive tone.

"Because I saw him making his own choices," I snapped back. "Unless his partners, or masters, or whatever the fuck you want to call them had an open line into his head, he was free to make choices. I didn't have that luxury!"

"He may not have been controlled as fully as you, archer, but he was obviously being influenced," Thor growled.

"Maybe," I shrugged. "And maybe not. No way to be sure, really, so there's no use arguing it. What else you wanna know?"

Thor sighed and took another cautious sip from his beer before asking, "What happened in Stuttgart?"

Immediately I felt a spasm deep in my gut as my stomach dropped into my shoes. 'He knows already,' my brain screamed. 'This is a test! He just wants to see what you'll say!' I wanted to curl up into a little ball and hide; or run as fast and far as I could; dive out the nearest window…anything…anything to keep that cold blue stare from boring into me.

Instead, I heard myself answering in a surprisingly steady voice, "Nothing much. Why?"

The Thunderer frowned at me then, eyes searching my own before he continued. "Loki said that it was in Stuttgart that his view on mortals began to change. He said it was you that swayed him."

"Me," I asked, the confusion in my voice genuine. "I don't see how I had anything to do with that."

"He said he removed the thrall from you for a brief time…and that you spoke to him at length. He would not say what you conversed about, or how it made him question his actions. Just that after his time with you he felt…changed, somehow. What did you say to him, Clint Barton?"

'Well, fuck,' I thought, 'how do I even begin to answer this?' My head was swimming with all sorts of conflicting emotions, a half dozen lies on the tip of my tongue.

And through it all, I held the mental image of Loki's face just before the Other tore him away from me. That appraising gaze; his mouth opening to say…what, exactly? I'd made peace with the fact that I'd probably never know what he'd meant to say to me that long ago day, and now that curiosity; that hunger was back, bright and fresh as if it had happened just yesterday.

Thanks, Thor.

"I-I can't really remember," I said weakly. "I remember when he pulled the thrall off. He wanted me to be able to speak freely, but he didn't dismiss it entirely. I remember wanting to fight him; to stop him…but I couldn't. Everything after that is sort of jumbled."

I waited for Thor to sniff out my lie, or to reveal he already knew everything. And as the minutes stretched out, I realized he didn't know the truth of our encounter. That Loki had kept the lion's share of what had happened between us a secret. I didn't know whether to be grateful or insulted, so I decided on both.

"You remember nothing," Thor asked mournfully.

"Just bits and pieces, really," I shrugged. "Something about him not having to do what he was doing. That we could help him if he'd let us."

"You showed him compassion," Thor remarked quietly. "Even after all he had done."

"I guess," I answered, uneasy at the turn the conversation had taken. This was not anything I wanted to relive, or even examine too closely. I'd spent far too long being fucked up over the events of those few short days I had belonged to Loki. I may not have found peace, or even any answers, but I had managed to push it back into a dark corner of my brain and leave it there. The last thing I wanted was to drag it back out into the light, where I would have to acknowledge it.

"At the very least, though, you can substantiate that Loki did not act alone in this mad scheme," Thor mumbled, almost to himself. "You can offer your part of the story and perhaps Odin will yet show leniency."

"Whoa. Wait a minute," I cut in. "What are you going on about?"

"Loki refused to speak to Odin, so the All-Father's judgment was passed without any knowledge of these other collaborators," Thor answered eagerly. "If he is told the truth, then he may reduce Loki's sentence!"

"And you want me to tell Odin this," I asked, incredulous. "Why didn't Loki tell him when he had the chance?!"

"Loki's pride would not allow…"

"Fuck his pride," I roared, anger surging through me in a sudden, devastating flood. "Look. I get that he's your brother, and you love him no matter what. I get that you don't want him to suffer any more than absolutely necessary. But what you seem to fail to realize is that I don't care what happens to Loki. As far as I'm concerned, he deserves whatever he gets!"

"Then you refuse to help me, archer," Thor asked stiffly.

"You're goddamn right, I refuse," I growled in return. "Your 'Watcher Between Worlds' has been keeping an eye on us all this time, right? Let him tell Odin what I said!"

"It must come from your mouth, and your mouth only," the god stated, drawing himself up to his full height and glowering down at me.

"Don't try the physical intimidation route with me, Blondie," I snarled. "I survived one god already, and I'd be happy to make it two."

"I am sorry, Clint Barton," Thor ground out.

That caught me off guard, and I blinked at him in confusion. "Sorry for what," I demanded, my patience at an end.

"For this," Thor sighed and lunged forward, wrapping one arm tight around me before bellowing out, "Heimdall! Open the Bi-frost!"