Now I Wanna Coax You From Your Hell:
Toni bent down to kiss Sam's lips again and then she felt him trying to shift his legs under her to make another attempt to flip her over. She pressed her knees into his thighs to keep his legs from moving and tightened her grasp around both of his wrists that she still had pinned over his head. Sam wriggled a bit more, but Toni just shifted more of her weight onto him with a disapproving glared etched on her face that finally made Sam cease resisting.
He opened his mouth to ask her a question or plead for his freedom, but Toni just kissed him again to keep him quiet. Every time that she leaned down to kiss him, Toni had to shift her whole body forward which made it easier for Sam to move his legs and hips. He didn't think that she had caught onto what he was doing, so while she assaulted his lips, he once again attempted to free one of his legs to hook around her to try to reverse their current positions.
Suddenly Toni shot up to sit on Sam's upper thighs while somehow maintaining her uncomfortably tight grip on his wrists. "Uh uh uh Sam. You still owe me an apology… Once I'm satisfied that you are truly repentant, then we can see about negotiating your future rights and privileges."
Sam frowned thoughtfully as Toni released his hands and slowly trailed her hands down his arms. Once she reached his elbows, she bent her fingers so that she could lightly graze her nails over his skin as she continued moving her hands towards his chest and then to each side of his rib cage.
Sam couldn't help but start to squirm as she tickled his sides, but Toni ignored that movement while she continued her explanation in a quasi-stern voice, "I go out to help you guys by picking up supplies in town and then I get back here to find an empty house… No note… No messages on my phone… That can really hurt a girl's feelings you know?"
"I'm s-s-sorry," Sam attempted to utter a sincere apology, but his speech was impeded by his desire to laugh as Toni worked her nails over his flesh.
Sam slowly moved his hands and tried to gently catch Toni's but she wasn't having any of that, so she swiftly handcuffed his wrists in her hands again. "Sam, did I say that you could move those hands?" She questioned humorlessly as she forced his hands to where she had placed them previously above his head again. "Such a bad boy… First you go and kill Eve without me… Then you make me drive ALL the way to Oregon by my lonesome… And if that wasn't bad enough, I get beaten up by a demon on a 'routine info run'… And now you aren't following orders? What am I going to do with you?"
She was still leaning over him, so Sam raised his head up as much as he could off of his pillow then strained to kiss Toni's lips. He was just barely able to brush his lips against hers, but he definitely could feel that Toni was grinning wickedly. She couldn't decide if she should torture him a little more by moving back half an inch so that she would be just out of his reach or if she should give in and drop this whole act all together.
"I'm really sorry… Cas jumped the gun…" Sam whispered so that she could feel his breath against her flesh. "I would never leave you behind on purpose."
Toni opened her eyes and saw that Sam was still trying to stretch his neck up to kiss her properly. Seeing him in that position made her worry that he might actually pull a muscle in his neck or upper back, so she gave in just a little and lowered her face to his and eliminated any space between them.
After her lips touched his, Sam let his head flop back onto the pillow with a grateful sigh. Toni just allowed his movement to break their embrace, but before he could voice any worry, she brushed her nose against his saying, "Well… You did get your ass handed to you by one of the demons at Ellsworth's place… So… I guess I can forgive you for that."
Toni then pecked Sam's lips and he thought that his 'punishment' was over, so he tried to move his hands away from his head again. Toni froze in her spot and in the middle of kissing his cheek she asked an annoyed, "Sam?" against his skin.
"I… I thought… I uhh…" He explained somewhat confused. "You said that you forgave me."
"Yes I did say that… However, you must not have been paying close enough attention to my words… Now I'll repeat myself, but just once so… Are you listening?" She breathily asked into his ear as he nodded. "I said that you were also beaten up by a demon, so I can forgive you for that indiscretion… But… We still have the small matter involving your little trip out West to discuss," she explained while sitting back again to look down at him.
"I know… But I really didn't have a choice in that matter," Sam explained as he weaved his fingers with hers that were still above his head. Toni kept her eyes locked with his as he tentatively moved their hands down to his sides further clarifying, "After Lenore told us where to find Eve, we had to move quickly because she knew we would be coming… And then Cas killed Lenore, so we lost our only lead if Eve had decided to skip town…"
Toni remained silent and just nodded her head slowly as she permitted Sam to give his reasoning. He paused momentarily to see if he was going to be reprimanded again for moving without being given permission. When Toni didn't object, he carefully unlaced their hands and placed his on her hips to test her reaction to that action. Again Toni didn't offer any protests, so Sam made his boldest move yet by lifting her up slightly so that he could throw her down onto her back while he blanketed his naked body over hers.
"Cas and Dean were the ones with itchy trigger fingers," Sam continued as he penetrated her with one strong thrust of his hips. "I… Called… As soon… As I… Could…"
Toni wasn't able to hear what Sam was saying, not because she wasn't listening but because all of her senses were solely focused on the feelings of ecstasy radiating through her body. Not that what he was saying really mattered in the end because Sam had already explained the situation and everything regarding the time sensitivity of the job back when he initially called Toni to tell her about the trip and then when he asked her to meet them halfway back to South Dakota. She had been the one to suggest that they wait in Oregon for her because she didn't want their situation to get complicated by them getting caught crossing State lines in a stolen vehicle. She knew that it wouldn't have been their first time doing that, but she didn't want them to press their lucky any more than they already had, especially now that the population of a whole town had basically been wiped off the map while they were working in it.
This was just a part of the 'game' that they were playing right now while they both tried to avoid another deep and almost sorrow filled heart to heart. Both Sam and Toni had been shaken up by the revelations that Castiel had announced while caught in the ring of Holy Fire, but neither could really put those feelings into words right now. Those feelings were then piled on top of Toni's first encounter with a demon following the talk that she had promised Sam, so she was feeling more than emotionally raw right now. During the unexpected fight in Ellsworth's cabin Sam had instantly recognized the look of fear in Toni's eyes (even if he wasn't expecting to see something like that on Toni's face) when she shot it and couldn't easily stop the creature's advances. Up until now, she had never come across anything that she couldn't out maneuver or out smart some way, but when the demon barely scoffed at the injury she had inflicted on its body Toni realized that she was grossly out-matched and froze in fear for the first time that she could remember in her life. Sam knew that that was going to be a very touchy subject with her so he was more than careful not to broach the subject first, but he still sincerely hoped that she would introduce that topic of conversation with him so he could at least try to offer her some advice for her next demon encounter (in case he wasn't there fighting beside her).
Sam continued to whisper a few apologies through his grunts as he rocked himself in and out of Toni at a feverish pace. Toni clung to Sam's arms so tightly that she thought that she might draw some blood while she tried her best to keep up with him. She loosened her grip slightly, but Sam's tempo made her feel like she could disengage from him at any moment so she dug her nails even deeper into his flesh this time, not caring one bit if his pleasure would override the pain she would be causing him right now.
"Oh… Oh… God… Sam…" Toni gasped as she threw her head back. When her skull didn't connect with the mattress like she thought it would and she felt her head hanging over the edge at the foot of the bed, Toni's grip tightened even more around the muscles of Sam's arms. Toni tried to verbalize her concern that she might fall off the bed, but her brain couldn't string together a coherent thought, let alone a full sentence. Sam hissed loudly when her nails started to dig even deeper into his skin, but he wouldn't allow himself to let up on his back and forth pace at all. At some point he opened his eyes so that he could look at Toni's facial expressions right now, but he couldn't actually see her face because Toni had left her head hanging over the edge so that if she opened her eyes she'd see nothing but the clothing they had thrown to the floor hours ago.
He slowed the momentum of his thrusts as he watched Toni's stretched neck as she tried her best to swallow a few quick, shallow breaths. She was still trying to speak, but the only sound that she could make was a few satiated moans even though deep down she wanted to encourage Sam with actual words. Sam smiled at himself when he saw her current state, especially at the fact that her grip on his arms was starting to loosen up, even if it was only the tiniest, minute amount. He could feel himself getting close to his climax while he started to wonder if Toni was approaching her own, but he got his answer when he bit down on her neck and felt her hold her breath before she struggled slightly to breathe.
Toni started panting in a few more breaths as she came down from her high and Sam tried his best to soothe the bite mark he had created on her throat with his lips and tongue as he whispered, "So…? Is my apology accepted?"
"Maybe," Toni answered as she grabbed at Sam's arms so that she could pull her head up to look at him. "I'm kind of getting a head rush here… Do you think you could help a girl out and pass her a pillow?"
Sam chuckled then pulled Toni somewhat forcefully onto his lap and hugged her to his chest as he laid back down on the bed. Once they bounced on the mattress Toni shifted to make herself more comfortable and placed her head on Sam's chest while he kept a comforting arm around her waist.
"Is this better?" Sam asked against her head before he kissed her hair again.
Toni nodded on his bare chest then replied, "Well it isn't a pillow, but I guess it'll do."
Toni's head bounced softly against Sam's chest as she laughed quietly. In an attempt to further calm herself, Toni stayed nestled in Sam's arms for a few more minutes while he ran his hand up and down her arm. His heartbeat had slowed to a steady rhythm and all of his muscles felt relaxed, but Toni couldn't stop her thoughts from racing and was starting to feel a little bit guilty that she couldn't just relax with him, especially right now. She rubbed a few circles on his chest while she collected her thoughts, still found that she couldn't bring herself to ask him the questions that she desperately wanted to if she stayed in this position.
While still trying to put all of her questions and commentaries into some sort of order, Toni rolled out of his arms so that her back was facing him. Sam mistakenly thought that she was finally turning in for the night, so he rolled over and tried to hug her against his chest to cuddle with her while they slept.
Since she thought that she had finally mustered up the courage to talk to Sam about everything on her mind, Toni rolled away from him again and nearly fell off the bed when she tried to face him. Sam wasn't sure what Toni's motivation was for moving away from him, but he still moved back and away from her to give Toni more space. Toni shifted over slightly so that she wouldn't feel like she was going to fall off of the bed and then after she settled in her place she started tracing Sam's tattoo with a feather light touch with her left index finger almost absentmindedly.
"Fuck…" She sighed not taking her eyes off his chest. "So… That's what it's like to fight demons huh?"
Sam cautiously started to run his hand softly up and down her arm as he answered, "Yeah… That's how it is… Did…? Was it…? Umm… What you expected?"
She tried to shake her head against her pillow which wasn't easily done in her current position. With the movement of her head, Toni's sweaty hair fell in front of her face and completely obscured her view of Sam's face. She smiled inwardly at the veil of hair in front of her eyes because it always seemed easier to confide the truth in someone when you didn't have a chance to analyze their reactions to what you were saying. Since she couldn't just turn her back on him right now and she didn't have a napkin to stare at while she shred it into tiny pieces and neither of them were wearing any clothing to hide behind, her hair had to be the next best thing.
"Yeah… Well no… I mean…" She scowled to herself in frustration because she didn't want to struggle through her response like she seemed to be at the moment. "I… I knew that they were sort of invincible, but… But… He didn't slow down… Or even flinch and then… Fuck… He was just so strong… How…? How have you guys been fighting them for like…? Ever without…? Umm… Without…?"
"Dying?" Sam questioned as he pushed her hair out of her face and tried to tuck it behind her ear.
Toni shook her head with her eyes closed then turned her face into her pillow saying, "No… No… Without… Well you make it seem so much easier than it was…"
"Hey… We've just learned how to make hard look easy. It's all just smoke and mirrors, I swear…"
Sam brushed her hair back even further to expose her neck and he kissed it a few times to try to comfort and encourage her. Toni huffed in a couple of breaths then she knocked Sam's hand away when he started to tickle her causing him to retreat back to his side of the bed. When Toni turned her face towards him, Sam saw that she had started crying. He expected that she would turn away again, so he stayed still to let Toni make the next move. Although she really wanted to roll over so her back would be facing him (like she knew that he expected), she instead just grabbed the sheet that was bunched up at her knees to dry her face before tossing it aside again.
"Please don't joke about that… Dad showed me the book where you… You… And the one with Dean…" Toni felt like she was unable to maintain any sense of composure so she sat up and did turn her back on Sam so that she could at least try to get a handle on her emotions.
Sam watched her with a worried eye, but just raised himself onto one arm while he watched her. His hand slowly reached out towards her back as she furiously swiped at the strands of hair that refused to stay behind her ears, but he just let it fall to the mattress before his fingertips could brush against her skin.
Toni suddenly took in a deep breath and sat up straight then asked the wall in front of her, "What do I need to know about fighting them…? You know for the next time I come up against one?" She heard Sam scoff softly so she looked over her shoulder and half-heartedly glared at him saying, "Castiel won't always be there to save us… You won't always be at every fight to protect me… What do I need to know?"
Sam moved a little bit closer to Toni as he explained, "Just the old hunting standards: salt and iron… And holy water hurts them… Oh and of course Devil Traps come in handy."
As Sam spoke, Toni turned back to face him and sat back against the headrest. Sam was still lying across the bed at an awkward angle so he moved back and put his head back on his pillow.
"Sounds like everything you would use on an angry spirit," Toni meekly replied.
Sam stroked her thigh to get Toni to look down at him, but she still tried to avoid making eye contact with him as she asked, "So… Once you trap them…? What then?"
"You exorcise them," Sam stated very matter-of-factly as he sat up beside her and held her face in both of his hands. As he talked her eyes flew open so he placed a chaste kiss on her lips then answered the question he was sure that he could see in her eyes, "I'll get you a copy of an exorcism and help you out with it until you've got it memorized."
Toni leaned down and hugged Sam's torso with a quite but sincere, "Thanks Sam, I'd really appreciate that."
Sam kissed her hair then rested his chin on her head and just held her tightly in his arms. Toni listened to the steady beat of Sam's heart and as their breathing fell into synch, she finally felt her whole body, mind and soul relax. As she started to mold herself to his chest, Sam wrapped his arms even more securely around her.
"Sam…?" He more felt her ask against his chest than heard the word.
He waited to see if she was going to sit back so that he would be able to hear her more easily, but when she didn't he rested his cheek on the top of her head replying, "What's on your mind Toni?"
Toni inadvertently smacked the back of her head against Sam's chin as she sat back while taking in a long, deep breath. Sam didn't move as she took his hands in her then set her shoulders and stared at his chest saying, "I'm really glad we talked… I don't know if I made that clear before because… Well… I'm still getting used to this whole sharing my feelings and stuff. So… Uhh… Thanks for being so patient with me."
Sam tilted her chin up and with a cheeky grin plastered on his face, he answered, "You're more than welcome… Girlfriend." Toni bit her lip and gave him a tight smile, but before she could speak, he kissed her softly then said, "We should at least attempt to get some rest tonight."
Her bottom lip was starting to throb slightly, but Toni kept her teeth clamped down hard on it as she nodded. They both crawled under the covers and when Toni rolled onto her left side, Sam did the same but he just stared at her back. Sam had already decided that he wasn't going to rush Toni into expressing any forms of intimacy that she might not be comfortable with after she had already ventured out of her comfort zone so they could have a long, no holds barred discussion about their relationship and how both of them were ready to take it to the next level, starting with being monogamous. Toni still found it hard to verbally express her feelings so Sam was willing to give her as much time as she needed and wasn't about to start complaining about her proclivity to express herself physically instead of verbally.
Toni curled herself into a loose fetal position waiting for the heat of Sam's body to warm her up and it took a few minutes for her to realize that he wasn't moving and didn't seem inclined to change their current positions. She shifted over the inches between them very slowly until her flesh brushed against his. As she pressed her back against his chest, she found Sam's right hand to drape his arm over her waist. Sam pulled her in closer to him then kissed her shoulder a couple of times in an effort to reassure her that his feelings hadn't changed.
"Hey Toni?" He whispered with his chin resting on her shoulder. "Can I ask you something?"
She weaved her fingers with his and kissed his knuckles groaning in her head. She was feeling so beyond spent that she didn't think that she could handle another heart to heart with him and was about to whine to Sam along that vein until she heard herself reply, "Anything Boyfriend."
"You have the anti-possession tattoo… So… Since everything you need to know about fighting demons was written in that book…? Albeit on a much larger scale than you should come across… Umm…"
Toni groaned then sputtered out a laugh causing Sam to fall silent then she answered, "Yeah… I guess I would have learned everything I need to know if I had of finished that story."
Sam squeezed her as he laughed asking, "What?"
"Well… I didn't know that there was a whole series and I just couldn't bring myself to read about Sam and Dean dying, so I stopped… Then when I was bored one day I did some research on the tattoo and decided that it couldn't hurt to get it just in case," she explained while Sam's stomach continued to bump off her back as he continued to laugh.
Once she fell quiet, Sam stopped kissing her neck and shoulder to ask, "So why haven't you gone back to read it all?"
"Well at one point I had decided that since Dad has the whole series now that I was going to start from the beginning… But then I just jumped between books… I read mostly the sort of fun ones or ones that sort of sounded like anything to do with a job I was working… Hence the tendency to hunt werewolves… I tried to read 'All Hell Breaks Loose Part One', but I only made it through the first chapter… So really I haven't made it through a whole book about demons."
Toni trailed off and started placing soft embraces on the back of Sam's hand so he moved his mouth by her ear asking, "Why stop after the first chapter?"
Sam felt her tears hit his hand before he heard her soft sniffle. She then attempted to roll over so Sam moved away and laid down on his back as she cuddled into his side. He let her have a moment to compose herself and ran his fingers through the length of her hair to try to comfort her.
She placed her cheek on his chest then much to Sam's surprise she answered very calmly through her tears, "Before I knew it was all about you, I had this huge crush on 'Sam' and I didn't want to read about his death… Even after I found out from Dad that he… You were brought back to life…" She turned her head to look over at his face then added, "It makes me sick to my stomach to think that someone could do that to you."
She stayed as she was, cheek to chest, and since Sam knew that he couldn't kiss her from this position, he just petted her head issuing a forlorn sounding, "Toni…"
"I know… I know Sam… You and Dean are still alive and that's all that matters in the end… But… It really doesn't make me want to read about you guys dying either." Toni moved over and kissed Sam deeply then announced lowly in his ear, "I can't even stomach reading 'Heart' anymore."
Sam chuckled then rolled onto his side so that he was facing Toni before he replied, "Fair enough."
After Toni woke up alone to the aroma of coffee wafting in the air, she quickly got dressed the hurried downstairs to get herself a cup. She wasn't surprised to see all three men already hard at work, but she still didn't understand how they did it. All of them had just had their asses handed to them by demons and then they had an emotionally exhausting go around with their Angel… Friend… And yet Bobby and the Winchesters were still going full speed ahead without taking any down time at all. She had gotten into the habit of taking time off between jobs and wasn't used to working at this pace, but she was determined not to let them see that she was feeling tired and sometimes like she was in way over her head.
She entered the study while they were in the middle of a somewhat intense discussion. This seemed to have become a bit of a norm for her, so she slipped onto the couch soundlessly while listening in so she could try to catch up straight away.
Sam held his hand out to Dean who was sitting on the opposite side of Bobby's desk demanding, "Let me see that."
After he relinquished (well after Sam snatched the paper out of his brother's hand), Dean asked, "Am I supposed to know who that is?"
Toni choked slightly on her coffee while all three of them stared at Dean in disbelief. Bobby recovered first saying, "Horror writer…? 'At the Mountains of Madness'…? 'The Call of the Cthulhu'…?"
Dean looked from Bobby to his brother, who shared a soft laugh with him, before Dean replied, "Yeah, it's… No I'm… I was too busy having sex with women."
As he took a drink from his mug, Bobby and Sam rolled their eyes, but Toni was quick to retort, "You mean you were busy banging bimbos. Some of us still managed to open a few books while…" She looked up from the book she was skimming through and caught the chagrinned looks on all three men's faces and defensively asked, "What? So Dean's the only one that can brag about his promiscuity? I was just saying… Well that… Ah crap, you know what? Just… Just forget about it."
Bobby shook his head and tried to get them back on track saying, "Well anyhow. There's one notion that comes up over and over again in his stories. Namely opening doors to other dimensions and letting scary crap through."
"You don't say," Dean observed sounding somewhat thoughtful.
"Wait," Sam jumped in excitedly, tipping the paper he had stolen from Dean to an angle that allowed Toni to read it over his shoulder. "So you're saying you think Lovecraft knew something about Purgatory?"
Bobby shrugged replying, "All I know is Moishe paid him a visit."
Toni leaned in close to Sam to whisper, "Uh… Who's Moishe?"
"Oh right, we haven't really gotten into that yet" Sam answered with an uncomfortable laugh. Toni sat down on the desk so she was facing him as he explained, "A couple of years back we found out that hunting is kind of in our blood… It just wasn't passed down from our Dad's family."
"Holy shit!" Toni gasped louder than she had intended. "Your Mom…? She was a hunter?"
Sam smiled and held up an old leather bound journal saying, "Yep… She came from a long line, but we're still trying to figure out everything that our ancestors knew."
"Wow… Okay…" Toni stated slowly as she stood up. "So where can I start?"
Somehow while they were researching, Toni and Sam ended up downstairs in the Panic Room sifting through the boxes and books in the basement. They behaved themselves for the most part, but at some point they both wound up on the cot with books piled up beside it. They made it through a few of them before Toni's curiosity got the best of her and she started asking Sam about the hunter side of his family.
Neither of them was certain who initiated it, but somehow during Sam's storytelling, Toni ended up straddling Sam's lap while they made out like two horny teenagers. Although she was quite comfortable with her legs crossed behind Sam's back, Toni begrudgingly pulled back from Sam's lips and breathlessly said, "We're supposed to be researching."
Sam nodded then pulled her face back to his replying, "Just five more minutes."
Toni laughed into his mouth and kissed him a few more times before pushing back on his shoulders. "Sam… You should probably head upstairs. Go… Go and see how Dean and Bobby are doing."
She then stumbled over to the desk on weak knees as Sam asked, "Okay and you'll be…?"
"Down here… Behaving myself… Cooling off, reading through these lovely books." Toni looked over her shoulder then added, "I'll head up shortly. Go…"
Sam stopped at the door of the Panic Room and playfully announced, "You know… You're a lot bossier as a 'girlfriend'."
Toni threw a pen at him and Sam ducked just in time not to be hit in the head as she replied, "I can't help it if I'm always right! And you'll do well to listen to me Boyfriend…" Sam popped his head in with an exaggerated pout on his face causing Toni to laugh softly. "Just go Sam… I'll be up in a bit."
After weeding through two piles of books, Toni switched to searching the internet hoping that would yield some sort of results. After she thought that she found something, she wanted to inform the men as soon as possible, but she stayed out of the study in the hallway when she saw Dean pacing and arguing with someone on the phone. She overheard the name 'Crowley', but didn't instantly connect the dots to its significance. Once she did, Toni completely understood the look of pure fury on Dean's face. After he hung up the phone, she took a tentative step forward, but stopped short of actually entering the room.
"You gotta be nuts if you think I'm gonna let you do this alone. Bobby can take care of the case," Sam explained to Dean sternly.
Bobby stood up asking, "Now guys…?"
Dean interrupted him saying, "Bobby this is a big ball okay? We can't drop it now."
Toni finally approached the group offering a meek sounding, "I think I found something that might be of help to us." She then turned her full attention to Sam to proclaim, "Bobby won't be working alone on this one, I promise."
Sam smiled gratefully, but Bobby was swift to jump in before their moment could attempt to make the other two men overly uncomfortable. "Fine… But how are you two gonna find Addy and Toby?"
Sam shrugged and Dean left the room gruffly answering, "We'll think of something."
"I should probably check on him," Sam directed at Toni almost as if he was trying to ask for her permission to follow Dean out of the room. She nodded whispering "Of course" while blushing profusely because she had never had any man in her life use such a pleading tone with her before. Sam quickly bent down to peck her lips then nodded at Bobby before following his brother's path.
"Bobby…?" Toni started sadly.
He took her by the arm and led her to his desk saying, "Don't worry about them… I'm sure they'll figure something out. Why don't you show me what you found?"
She looked into the kitchen, deep in her own thoughts until Bobby shook her arm gently. "Right… Umm…" She started again as she set her laptop down on his desk then opened up a webpage and turned the screen towards Bobby. "This guy says he has some of Lovecraft's personal letters and stuff… So I was thinking… Uhh… Maybe if we could get a look at them…"
"Then we might be able to figure out why Moishe paid him a visit." Bobby clasped her shoulder then praised her work saying, "Great work Toni… Now we just have to see about setting up a meeting with this guy… Judah, right?"
"Yeah… Umm… About that…" Toni explained uneasily as she closed her laptop. "I was trying to do that… But he kind of got the impression I was hitting on him and it took me a while to figure out he wasn't into that, so I sort of came up with the cover that I was your assistant that was actually trying to set up a meeting for you… Uhh because you're writing an article on Lovecraft and all… It took a bit of convincing but he's totally okay with that… Umm… If you are that is…"
Bobby smiled sympathetically then replied, "Okay 'Assistant', we should see about getting packed up and hit the road so we won't be late." He paused to take in her reaction then added, "After we've said a quick goodbye to the boys that is… And the emphasis is on 'quick' here Toni."
While Bobby was at his meeting with Lovecraft's number one fan, Toni settled in at the local college's library to continue the research she had started back at Bobby's house. She wasn't finding much that she didn't already know about the variety of theories that each of the major religions put forward to their believers about Heaven, Hell and everything in between, so she decided that she should instead refocus her attention on the man that had brought them to town in the first place.
She found that practically every biography she found about the horror writer seemed to tell her the exact same thing, but somehow each writer had found their own 'unique' way saying it. Most of them just glossed over his involvement in the occult and the ones that did attempt to explore that part of Lovecraft's life did a piss poor job in Toni's opinion. With everything that she had learned over the past decade, she could tell that none of these authors had never faced anything that could remotely be classified within the realm of the 'supernatural' and had never actually man an 'occultist' in real life.
Since the accounts in the biographies appeared to be completely laughable, Toni decided to reacquaint herself with H.P. Lovecraft's works. As a teenager she had read a few of his books because Alex had been such a huge fan of the author. She had found that she hadn't really been able to get 'into' his writing because at the time she had found his stories to be too fantastical and unbelievable. Alex had argued that it didn't matter if it was fantasy or reality; Lovecraft wrote with such vivid detail that you couldn't help but lose yourself in his prose. Back then Toni couldn't be convinced, no matter how persuasive her older brother thought he could be with her, but now she thought that she might appreciate his stories on a different level. Secretly she was hoping that he had covertly written the key to opening a portal to Purgatory, but as she flipped through the pages of the first novel she pulled off of the shelf, she tried to keep from letting anything cloud her judgment at the moment. She just wanted to keep an open mind in the hopes that she could find something useful by not forcing it to jump off the page.
Before she made it all the way through the first book, Toni felt her cell phone vibrating. She quickly abandoned the novel on a random shelf and answered her phone just as she as exiting the library.
"How far away are you from the local library?" Bobby asked without waiting for Toni's greeting.
"Umm…I think I'm within walking distance… I'm not sure…" Toni replied as she detoured to find a city map by the campus security office. "Why? What am I looking for?"
"I've got a list of names that we need to research," Bobby explained. "I'll head to the city's Hall of Records then call you in an hour, alright?"
"Yes Sir… Let me just grab a pen and paper," Toni answered while she balanced her phone between her ear and her shoulder so that she could rifle through her messenger style bag. "Okay what are those names?"
After she slipped her phone into her jeans' pocket, Toni worked at replacing everything into her bag. While she had her attention focused on that task, she felt a firm hand land on the small of her back. Normally she would have playfully leaned into any guy's hold, but right now she saw only Sam in her mind's eye, so she unconsciously went completely rigid in her bent position.
"You don't have to look so hard Sweetheart, I'm right behind you."
Toni stood up straight and turned to face her Wanna-Be-Romeo with one eyebrow quirked in a silent question of 'What the hell?'. He raised his hands up in a sign of surrender saying, "Sorry… Sorry… My friends said that that line would work."
Toni smiled warmly then just held up her left hand answering as kindly as she could without laughing at his 'deer caught in the headlights' look on his face, "Even if the age difference wasn't an issue, I'm spoken for."
His skin visibly paled as he took a couple of step back repentantly saying, "Oh… Umm… I didn't… Didn't see that… Sorry…"
After he stumbled a few more steps back, he turned and ran past his group of friends that had been watching the whole scene. They all turned their slack jawed faces towards her and Toni couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for the college kid. She held up her hand so that all of them could see the large jewel on her finger and barely held in her laughter as they scattered.
Once they were gone, she looked down at her finger then traced the outline of the diamond thinking Sorry Will, I know you wouldn't approve, but maybe… Maybe you weren't totally insane after all big brother.
At the Public Library, Toni focused all of her attention on newspapers from 1937 to see if any of the names on the list Bobby had given her showed up. As she scrolled through the pages of the microfiche, she tried to resist the urge to scroll straight to the obituaries. By the time she hit May 1st, 1937 she found the first article pertaining to one of the party goers… In the Obituaries.
"Of course… Unleash a beast from Hell…" She grumbled softly to herself.
She had to find a librarian to help her with printing out the first couple of articles, but from then on it was smooth sailing. When her phone vibrated this time, Toni was near a fairly noisy printer, so she just double checked that there weren't any prying ears nearby before she answered it, "Hey Bobby, I don't think that I've found anything overly useful, but…"
"I think I found it," he interrupted hurriedly.
Toni was almost annoyed that she hadn't found anything beyond where three of the six invitees were currently buried, but she just pleasantly answered, "Oh yeah? Great… So where are you parked?"
Even though he knew that Toni wasn't thrilled right now, Bobby couldn't indulge her insecurities right now. When this was all over, he'd find a way to help to stroke her ego so he answered flatly, "Seventh and Agnes."
She was already heading out the library's front door as she replied, "Okay, if I hoof it I can get there in just under ten. See you soon."
It took Toni longer than she had anticipated to meet up with Bobby. She wiped her brow as she took the stairs at the Court House two at a time thinking to herself, Fucking hills! If it weren't for you…!
She smiled softly when she saw Bobby at his driver's side door asking into his phone, "How's Dean?"
"About how you'd expect," Sam answered trying not to let the sounds coming from the building behind him from having any effects on him. "And Toni's…?"
"Just catching up with us," Bobby replied before passing his phone over the roof of his car to the nearly out of breath woman.
"Hey… S-Sam," she panted out.
"Toni? Are you okay?" Sam asked not trying to hide his concern for her wellbeing.
She chuckled softly as she caught her breath then replied, "I'm fine… Still trying to get back… Into… Shape." Sam was close enough to Bobby's garage that Toni could hear the screams issuing from the demon that Dean was currently 'questioning', so she swallowed hard and asked, "How 'bout you guys? Everything okay?"
"Working on some leads. Keep up the good work with Bobby. Talk to you soon."
Sam rushed through his response then hung up before Toni could reply, so she just opened her door and flopped onto the passenger seat. As she handed Bobby his phone, she sighed heavily then asked, "So where are we headed to?"
"Well 'Assistant'," Bobby answered, turning over the engine. "I thought that we could check out the local mental hospital."
Toni's head whipped around to look at him with a surprised and confused scowl on her face. Bobby laughed softly then added, "I'll explain on the way."
"Everyone's so fascinated. Wanna know about my night at the home of the great H.P. Lovecraft," the elderly patient observed staring straight ahead.
Bobby was seated with his hands folded in his lap while Toni sat poised and ready to start taking notes as the hunter replied, "If you don't mind."
"Well you know the story. They did their spell and they all said it failed." He looked around to make sure that no nurses were listening to them before he continued. He leaned in close to asked softly, "Do you believe in monsters?"
Toni instinctively checked around the room as well before catching Mr. Westborough's eyes as Bobby confidently answered, "Yep."
The elderly man eyed both Toni and Bobby up and down as he cautioned, "You know… You go saying that, they'll lock you in here the rest of your life?"
"Sir? Maybe we should just keep it between the three of us then," Toni offered with a playful wink.
Bobby nodded then added, "Whatever you saw, you tell us and we'll buy it straight."
Mr. Westborough kept his voice low as he explained, "The spell worked. A door opened and something came through. B-but it was invisible, so no one knew… Except me."
Toni exchanged a quick concerned look with Bobby, but he just shook his head dismissively at her then asked, "How did you know then?"
"Because it took my mother. It went into her. She wasn't the same. She even smelled different. And then she disappeared and surprise, surprise one by one they all start dying."
Toni and Bobby shared a sad look before Bobby sincerely replied, "I'm sorry about your mom."
"You're the first person ever said that." Mr. Westborough commented with a hint of sorrow before more cheerfully asking, "Hey, you wanna see a picture?"
Bobby nodded, but Toni just kept her eyes focused on the notepad that she was doodling in so she missed the exchange between the two men. She was waiting for Bobby to continue his questioning since the senior seemed to be more than willing to open up to the hunter.
When she heard Bobby quietly exclaim, "I'll be damned" Toni's eyes shot over to her left. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but held her tongue because Bobby was speaking quietly with their interviewee. The elderly man was nodding vigorously and allowed Bobby to take the photo with him. Bobby the stood up abruptly so Toni followed suit and they said a quick good bye before leaving.
As they left the building, Toni finally asked Bobby the question that was on her mind in a hushed tone, "Hey Bobby? What up with that photo? You almost look like you saw a ghost or something."
Bobby didn't answer right away, but when they got to his car he paused then looked up at her saying, "Yeah… It's something… Uhh… Like that… So… Look Toni? I have a contact that might be able to help, but… Umm…"
Toni had spoken with Bobby numerous times to timidly ask him for help when she was stuck on a case and he had always confidently guided her to the answer. Hearing him stumble over his explanation right now briefly caught her off guard, especially since he was refusing to make eye contact with her as well.
"Sure… Yeah, no problem," she replied sympathetically. "Can you drop me off at the bus depot? I think I can take it from there."
Bobby looked up looking slightly stunned, so she added, "I'll head back to your place and keep researching… Maybe even offer Sam and Dean a hand…"
Once they were back in his car, Bobby gripped Toni's hand warmly saying, "Thanks Toni… If it was anyone else I'd… Uhh…"
Toni placed her hand on top of his and squeezed it offering, "I get it Bobby… Really, don't give it a second thought. I'm fine. I'll make myself useful somewhere else."
She couldn't say that she was surprised to find Bobby's house empty by the time she got back to South Dakota. Toni was somewhat confused to see that the Impala was still parked where it had been when she and Bobby had left. She stared at the car as she unlocked Bobby's front door, but decided that before she dove into that mystery that she need to take a nap or grab a shower or God willing maybe even both.
It turned out that the nap won out and turned into a full night's sleep. She would have probably slept most of the day away but her phone ringing brought her abruptly out of her slumber. She made it half way to destination in a sleepy haze and reeling a bit from everything Sam had told her on the phone. She tried her best to focus on the fact that they had found Dean's family and not the reason why Sam had asked her to meet them at a hospital. To try to keep herself in a positive mood, she gripped the steering wheel tightly and reveled in the fact that she was getting a chance to drive Dean's car. It wasn't the Impala itself that made her smile, it was more that fact that she knew that Dean wouldn't approve of this and it had been a while since she had been able to get away with breaking anyone's rules behind their backs. It was somewhat childish, but she figured that she had to take pleasure in the small things right now.
Sam was waiting for Toni out front of the Oakview Memorial Hospital on a bench when she drove up. He waved when he saw her, but just waited where he was while she parked the car. She quickly found a spot and tried not to run over to him.
"Hey there Handsome, you look like you had a rough night," she greeted him sweetly as she passed him a cup of coffee.
Sam took it from her then kissed her as a 'Hello' then replied, "You're telling me."
Toni placed her cup on the bench beside her and took Sam's free hand in both of hers quietly asking, "Sam did she…? I mean it sounded pretty bad… How are Dean and Toby holding up?"
Sam shook his head then answered, "She's fine… Cas actually showed up to heal her." Sam couldn't help but chuckle at the expression on Toni's face because he knew that he must have been sporting that exact same look more than once during the day. "And that's not all… Dean… He sort of asked Castiel to do him a… Uhh… Favor."
Since Sam paused there, Toni tried to ease the tension that was mounting by weakly joking, "Well if the favor was for your angel pal not to open a door to Purgatory, then I guess we're totally in the clear now."
Sam snickered softly then Toni added more soberly, "Yeah, I know… Wishful thinking… Umm dare I ask what it really was?"
He nodded replying, "Yeah… You should know about this…" Toni watched him with a wary eye but didn't say anything and just let Sam take his time. "He asked Castiel to wipe away their memories. Not just what happened last night, but everything else about him… And then he got Cas to do something that should make it virtually impossible for demons to find them."
"Holy shit! So… He… He made it… They won't have any memory of him at all?"
"Nope," Sam replied with a slight monotone as he continued drinking his coffee.
"But… They're… It's his family… Why?" She questioned nearly on the verge of tears.
Sam put his empty cup down then held her face and kissed her softly. "It's Dean… He… You know…"
Toni nodded then hugged him saying, "But Sam… It's… His son won't know him? That's just… It's so sad and unfair."
Before Sam got a chance to respond they both heard Dean cleared his throat loudly. Toni quickly jumped out of Sam's arms and smiled up at Dean nervously.
"Hey Toni, how'd it go with Bobby?" Dean asked not looking up from his feet.
Dean looked exhausted in a way that Toni had never seen before and she couldn't stop herself from standing up to hug him. He didn't reciprocate immediately but when he finally did, Toni felt him shudder slightly. She gave him a moment to compose himself then they both dropped their hands at the same time and took a step back.
She held out his keys and finally replied, "He's following up on another lead as we speak, so all in all I'd say it went not so bad."
Dean nodded and took his keys then walked towards his car. Toni looked over at Sam in a slight panic, but Sam quickly wrapped an arm around her and kissed her head saying, "It'll be fine. Come on."
Toni trailed behind the brothers because it looked like Sam had something on his mind. As they walked he asked, "Well…?"
Dean replied with a short, "Well nothing."
Sam got into the car but left his door wide open. Toni stood with her hand on the door handle feeling slightly queasy because she knew that Sam wanted to confront Dean. She felt like she would either get in the way and impede that discussion and they'd travel in an uncomfortable silence or she would have to witness said confrontation before they continued to Bobby's in a tense silence.
She finally climbed into the backseat as Dean was warning Sam, "If you ever mention Addy and Toby to me again, I will break your nose."
"Dean…" Sam started almost sadly.
"I'm not kidding," Dean cautioned before turning to face Sam.
Toni gasped silently when she saw the tears welling up in Dean's eyes in the reflection of the rear view mirror. She quickly turned her head to look out the window before Dean could focus his threat at her. Instinctively she knew that Sam would want to press the matter, but breathed a sigh of relief when he too remained silent.
After they got back to Bobby's, Dean headed straight for the kitchen and the only sound that was distinguishable was that of a liquid being poured into a glass. Sam stood in the doorway of the study looking completely torn about what he should do next so Toni turned and walked back to his side. Sam shifted from foot to foot but didn't actually make a move to follow Dean so Toni figured that she could persuade him to follow her.
After Toni took his hand, Sam looked down at her then she quietly instructed, "We should give him some space… At least just for now."
Sam nodded then she led him to the bedroom in silence. Toni tried her best to comfort Sam but still felt uneasy even after he fell asleep. She slipped out of bed to collect their discarded clothing and then got dressed. Once she was fully clothed again, Toni folded Sam's clothes and placed them on a chair and then left a t-shirt and a pair of boxers on her side of the bed with the note that she had just finished writing.
After she had her bag packed, she started to leave the room but stopped to watch him sleep for a moment. She then knelt down and kissed his forehead then whispered, "Stay safe until I get back. Love you."
The house was quiet so Toni moved slowly towards the front door in the hopes that she wouldn't do anything to disturb the relative peace right now. She thought that she was home free but just as she passed the study she heard Dean call out her name a couple of times.
She paused then stepped into the room and Dean didn't give her any time to speak before he slammed his empty glass on the desk and demanded, "Where are you running away to?"
Toni swallowed hard then answered, "I… Uhh… I was going to head home for a bit to umm…"
"And just abandon Sam?" He queried almost angrily.
"No… No it's not like that Dean…"
"Well that what it looks like to me. What the hell else do you call sneaking off in the middle of the night?" He interrupted heatedly.
Toni shook her head vigorously as she stumbled over another explanation, but Dean was quick to cut her off with another accusation. Once they both fell silent, Toni finally realized that this argument that she was having with the eldest Winchester really didn't have anything to do with her relationship with Sam and that it was more about Dean projecting his pain onto her, so she took this moment to decide how she should proceed.
Dean refilled his drink then looked like he was going to say something else, so she made a pre-emptive strike nearly hissing, "Look Dean, you chose to cut your family out of your life, but I'm not going to do that. I miss my Dad and it's been almost over a month since I last saw him… Sam understands and is fine with it so back the fuck off."
She had made sure that Dean was drinking while she made her angry retort because that way she was ensured that he wouldn't be able to interrupt her at all. When she was done, she turned on her heel, snatched up her bag and nearly ran out to her truck without looking back.