Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha and company nor the song in this chapter. Those rights go to Rumiko Takahashi and the song belongs to Billy Talent. Just burrowing ;)

Chapter Nine- When the Rain Comes Down

"Your father would like to speak with you," Izayoi informed her step-son as he walked through the front door.

"Can it wait? I need a shower."

The older woman hesitated. "Um, it seemed important."

"Very well," the silver haired demon replied as he made his way to the library. His father spent most of his time there.

Sesshomaru could feel the other youkai's unease as he entered the room.

InuTaisho leveled his son with a look, not sure where to begin or how Sesshomaru would take all of this.

"You failed to mention Kagome was part of the Divine's Organization. I understand you didn't want to give me any details but don't you think that is something important to bring up? She had a few entries on said matter. "

Sesshomaru let out a low growl. "She is nothing like them. She is just made to attend; otherwise she would not be speaking with this Sesshomaru."

"I figured as much. I would normally be opposed to meddling but her entry for today has brought me much concern. Have you read it?"

Sesshomaru's body stiffened at his father's tone. "I haven't had time to go on the computer just yet."

The older youkai stepped away from his desk. "I have it up right here. I would like you to read it and then I must ask you a question."

Sesshomaru wearily stood in front of the computer screen, not wanting to sit down. He still felt gross from kendo practice. His jaw tensed as he read the words on the screen.

Sept 23rd

There are two different people inside my mind, fighting for dominance. Sometimes she wins- the darkness that consumes my mind…the coldness that numbs my soul. It's a side of me I want no one to know. Always trying to tame the fire that destroys. But sometimes I get burned. The smoke is in my lungs and I'm drowning in flames.

There's a bleeding inside me and I want to SEE it. See that red. All down my arms. All down my sides. Like some sort of red tiger. I want to see the fire. Carve it out of my skin.

I have a bright light surrounded in darkness. Why can't I just be gray? One solid color. If this is my yin to my yang then why do I seem so out of balance?

Without noticing, Sesshomaru had sat down. He re-read over the lines of the entry.

InuTaisho watched his son closely. "Now son, it's important that you tell me…is your friend cutting?"

The silver haired youkai stood with a stoic face. How could he answer his father? She had never said anything like that before.

"I do not know," Sesshomaru ground out in frustration.

"Listen son, I've spoken with a couple of people and I think we may be able to send help for your miko. Would like to hear about my plans?"

Sesshomaru looked at his father in surprise. "You can really help? How have you figured something out so soon when I have been unable…"

"The key to her chains are the actual chains themselves."

"Now you are the one being annoyingly cryptic," Sesshomaru responded tonelessly.

"We use the Organization to get her out of the organization. Come here. I have an article for you to read on the Purists." InuTaisho used the mouse to bring up a second screen.

Sesshomaru sat back down to read.

"This is…rather interesting. May I tell Kagome of said plans?"

"Not just yet, my son. I want to first make sure that it is all very much possible. I wouldn't want to give her false hope right now. I still have a few kinks to work out but you will be able to tell her soon, I promise."

"Who is the candidate that is to play the brainwashed purist?"

"I thought Kikyou would be suitable. Not only is she a miko but from what she has told me, she also has a purist friend whom she can mirror."

Nodding, Sesshomaru stood. "I want to see if Kagome is online, if not I have an email to send." He left the room without another word.

Sesshomaru sat at his computer. She wasn't on. He turned on some music. He could wait a little while longer before sending an email.

"Saint Veronika"

'They found an empty bottle on her windowsill
The day her mother lost her sleeping pills
She was sick and tired of being invisible
Hard to see in color when you're miserable

Veronika, Saint Veronika
You can't leave this world behind
So be strong enough to hold onto us
We're still right here by your side'

Kagome had sent him this music file via msn. He wondered about her last blog entry. Her words had been more twisted and disturbing than per usual. He thought back on all their old conversations. He remembered her telling him that she wasn't allowed to have friends that weren't purists so whatever Kagome was going through…she was going through it alone.

'No one ever thought that she was capable
And the damage done is irreversible
Now she clings to life inside a hospital
Like she's trapped inside a frozen waterfall
Always said her life was never meant to be
Stuck here living someone else's dream
Well beyond your window there is so much more
Even every prison has a open door

Veronika, Saint Veronika
You can't leave this world behind
So be strong enough to hold onto us
It's just not your time to die'

His father's plan though…now that was something to hold on to. She wasn't alone. He was still here and now they had help. Why couldn't she be on now? What was today? He looked at the calendar. Thursday…Kagome would be at that meeting by now. He looked at the clock. It would be another hour before she'd be able to come on…if she came on at all. He would have to leave an email.

'And while the angels sleep
All of the devils are awake
Waiting to steal your love
Right outside of Heaven's gate
And all the sacred hearts
Can't numb the feeling from the pain
Cause when the drugs don't work
You're gonna curse His holy name
Damn God, yeah, God, yeah
Damn God, yeah, God, yeah

Veronika, Saint Veronika
You can't leave this world behind
Oh Veronika, Saint Veronika
We're still right here by your side
So be strong enough to hold onto us
You can't leave this world behind
Oh Veronika, Saint Veronika
It's just not your time to die'

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

5 Days Later

Sept 29th

Gone-

Your nagging silenced my thoughts

As my heart became numb

I'm just a person in need of discipline

Temporarily imprisoned in this house

I'm at a standstill in my life

I never move forward….

But sometimes I slip back

I slip back into the dark shadows

The dark shadows of the past

Go ahead and bring me down

Knock me to my knees

Just abandon me there to weep

I'll put back the pieces once I leave

Kagome hit the post button. She eyed her msn messenger. She wasn't logged on. Sesshomaru had emailed her a few days ago. The miko already knew what he wanted to talk about….knew the question he would ask. But how could she answer that?

It was because of that other entry. She should have never put that. She had been in one her moods. She hated those moods. Kagome turned up the radio as thoughts of Sesshomaru filled her mind. She missed him. The little miko let out a frustrated sigh. She couldn't keep hiding from him.

Giving in, Kagome logged onto her messenger. Her shoulders drooped in disappointment. He wasn't on. She wanted to say something to him but what?

She rubbed at her forehead. Kagome could feel a headache coming on. Words began to form in her mind. Words that needed to be typed. She idly wondered if Sesshomaru would be reading this later.

Sept 29th

Second Entry-

Out of Reach-

What I desire I can't have

I try not to think about it

I try not to feel sad

I wrap my arms around myself

Wondering what it'd be like if it was you

Is it wrong for me to want what I do

I don't know how to handle this coldness

If you were here would you share some warmth

Can you wrap your arms around me?

Are you alive with the love I need to feel…

Or did you already die away from these emotions…

Is it a sin to crave more affection

Is it wrong to want to feel some protection

My heart is tearing out of my chest

Yeah, my emotions are just one big mess

I'm crying in the darkness of this room

I'm clawing at these open wounds

Why do I have to feel this pain?

Tell me, will there be any gain?

When you say one day….

Is this only in our dreams?

Will there ever be a me and you?

Kagome wiped away the wetness from her face. She really wished Sesshomaru could be here. Logging onto her email, she left him a short message. Maybe he'll be on tomorrow.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Sesshomaru knocked on the door to his father's library.

"It's open."

The younger youkai walked in sullenly.

"Is there something on your mind that needs discussing, son?"

"Yes…this Sesshomaru is annoyed at having to seek your guidance again…but I know you see things in Kagome's writings that I do not….things that help you to understand her. She hasn't responded to my email but is still updating her blog. Is she avoiding me?"

InuTaisho gave his son a pitying look. "She might just not want to answer that question. Kagome might feel shame for something like that. Just give her time. I know she misses talking to you."

"How would you know that," Sesshomaru asked restlessly.

"I just read her most recent update before you walked in. I can tell it's about you. She seems to miss you a lot right now. Have you checked your email today?"

"No, I just got home..."

Sesshomaru looked over InuTaisho's shoulder to read the blog.

"You can sit here if you want," the older youkai got up, "You should check your email too, just in case. When you are done, come find me, I have some good news for you."