I See a Bible I See The Bible In Your Eyes:
"Okay wait… Wait! So the bones…? They were IN his bed? Eww…" Toni said while visibly shivering.
"Yeah… I know right? Just when you think that we've seen it all," Sam replied with an uneasy laugh. "So…? How's Yvette doing?"
Toni settled on her bed against her mound of pillows then replied, "Much better. She surprisingly calmed down a lot when I told her the truth about what was happening and then she did a complete one eighty just before you called to confirm that the job was done… Huh…"
"Do…? Do you think that she might ACTUALLY be psychic?"
With a soft groan, Toni started to massage her temples with her left hand and then said, "Yeah… I'm pretty sure that she is… It's really made dinner time conversations… Umm… Interesting since we found out."
"Oh really? Care to share with the class Ms. McNamara?"
"Umm… Yeah… That would be a negative. At least not until I see you in person… So what about you? Where did you want me to come and pick you up?"
"No… No that's okay. Dean and I talked pretty much everything out a bit more like you said that we should… And… As much as he can drive me crazy, you were right; he's my big brother and in his own way he thought that he was doing me a favor and that he was protecting me or whatever… But it's good… We've even worked a couple of small jobs together since then so…"
When he trailed off Toni softly asked, "So things are…? Better?"
"Well as good as they can be right now at lease."
Toni breathed out a sigh of relief at hearing the change in Sam's tone when he brought up anything close to the subject of Dean's involvement in Amy's death. She still hadn't told him that she had completely agreed with Dean's decision to kill his former friend because it meant that there was one less monster in the world. That being said, Toni was still more than happy that Sam was feeling less animosity about it now and by him having said change of heart, Toni hoped that they would be able to just carry on. She also hoped that they would never have to broach the subject of Amy's death again because it would most likely put an unnecessary wedge in their relationship and Toni would do anything she could to avoid that.
"Actually…" He stated with a soft teasing tone.
Toni's head quirked to the side as a humorously suspicious grin spread across her lips while she replied, "Is this about another hunt that you need to pawn off on me?"
"A hunt…? What…? No… No! Nothing like that Toni! I swear," Sam answered while stumbling slightly over his words while he gave his rushed defense.
"It's okay Sam. Like I told you before, I'm more than happy to help you guys when I can. I had already found a couple of things that I was going to try to look into a bit further, but if you have something else for me to work on, I'd be more than happy to lighten your load."
Sam swallowed audibly then almost timidly said, "Oh… So you have a few jobs already that you're wanting to work on? I… I guess that mean that you're busy… Okay… Yeah… Alright… Just forget about it."
Toni wasn't sure if her boyfriend was being coy and vague just to tease her or if he really did think that she would consider working a job to be more important than anything else that might come out in her life. She let the line between them remain silent while she analyzed his words and tone, but she still had no idea if he was being serious or not before she tried to get Sam to clarify his statement.
"Forget about what?" She finally managed to ask through her confusion.
Toni nearly hung up the phone when she heard Sam's boisterous laugh because she knew full well that it was at her expense. "I hate you so much," she grumbled instead through a tight lipped frown to keep from laughing in relief.
"Gets more believable every time you say that to me," Sam continued to tease before more seriously saying, "And if you promise not to hang up on me, I'll tell you what I mean…"
"Patience… Wearing… Thin…" Toni warned while grinding her teeth together.
"Okay… Okay… Sorry. So, here's the thing. Dean and I kind of have this tradition where we sort of try to forget about the outside world for a bit and blow off some steam so that we can try to regroup in…"
"Vegas," Toni whispered while still trying to figure out what exactly Sam was trying to get around to tell her.
"Actually yeah… Wait… How did…?"
"I've almost finished a complete read through of the series as a whole from the beginning," she cut in with her own smug tone at being able to confuse Sam so easily.
"Oh… Right… Right!" Sam replied with such an embarrassed tone that Toni couldn't help but smirk wider and mentally pat herself on the back.
Toni let out a soft chuckle then said, "Sam if you want to spend a week in Las Vegas with your brother, you can. You don't have to call to ask me for permission… Or wait… Do the rules change now that you call me the big 'G' word? Hmm…"
"Or what if I was calling to invite you to join us? Well… To join me? Since our last little mini-vacation was cut short?"
"Join you…? I… I don't think that I understand," she admitted quietly.
"Well Dean's all Gung-Ho to hit the bars and casinos and to… *ahem* 'watch' some shows, but that never really been my thing," he said sounding like he had to make an exerted effort not to rush through his explanation.
"Aww… Sam really? Even if I give you the unobstructed go ahead to get smashed and watch some strippers with…?"
"So instead I found somewhere outside of town where a lot of people like to go camping and I thought that it might be a good spot for a little more one on one time," Sam continued as if Toni hadn't spoken at all.
Toni scowled at the empty room because her joke hadn't seemed to have even registered with Sam before she answered, "You and me camping in the Nevada wilderness? Umm… Yeah… I guess… Yeah… That could be fun."
"Or not," Sam countered sounding confused about Toni's apparent reluctance at his proposal. "We could always just stay somewhere on the Strip and take in a few actual shows… Well anything but 'Believe' that is…" Sam let out an uncomfortable laugh at the end of his statement.
"Yeah… That could work too… But it's just that… Umm… I wouldn't know…" Toni was now on her feet pacing around the perimeter of her bed. "I mean that… Geez… Sam I've never been camping before so I have no idea what I would need to pack or what people actually do in the middle of the woods for fun, so I don't know how much fun I'd be… Sorry."
"You…? You've never…? Really?" Sam questioned with a surprised chuckle. "Wow… No… Actually I should be the one to apologize to you because I just sort of assumed that you guys would have done some camping when you were younger and that it would kind of be your sort of gig."
"Oh… No… We didn't ever because it reminded Mom and Dad a little too much like being stuck out on the front lines. On the rare vacations that we did take all together as a family, we usually just went to a resort of some kind. Mom really liked having all of the creature comforts to be easily accessible when she was trying to relax."
"Shit. That makes total sense. Sorry I assumed, but… If… Well if you're feeling a little adventurous, I have all of the gear that we'll need so all that you'd have to pack is clothes and then help me with the food and drink."
Toni sat back down on her bed while she gave Sam's proposal some serious thought. "Well I am always up for trying new things, I guess."
"And to answer your question about what people do for fun in the middle of the woods… Well there most likely won't be another person around our campsite for about half a mile…"
As Toni caught onto Sam's not so subtle innuendo, she felt her heart give an excited flutter as she breathily replied, "And that would probably play a major role in what wardrobe I would choose to pack…"
"Yeah, I guess it would. So…? Is that your way of saying 'yes'?"
"Where should I meet you?" Toni replied as she started to pull out her largest duffle bag out from under her bed to start packing.
Sam let out a relieved sigh and then said, "Well I've booked myself into a separate room at the Imperial Palace… It's nothing fancy, but I thought that we could spend a night or two there before heading out."
"Why Mister Winchester…? Are you trying to seduce me?"
Sam's voice dropped a couple of octaves as he replied, "Bring that little number you wore that night and we'll…"
Toni gasped suddenly and her knees threatened to give out on her at the vivid memory of that night, so she quickly sat down on her bed answering again with a breathy, "I'll call you when I hit city limits"
"Good… See you then."
After she hung up, Toni remained on her bed and just stared at her phone. She knew that she wouldn't have to worry too much about what she was packing because all she really had to do was to throw some clothes together in a bag, but for some reason she couldn't shake the butterflies that had made a new home in the pit of her stomach. As she laid her clothes out on her bed, Toni reasoned that her nerves were getting the best of her merely out of the anticipation of seeing Sam again and nothing else.
What else could it be? She thought to herself as she placed the last of her toiletries into her duffle and zipped it closed.
She had to force herself not to quicken her pace as she made her way downstairs because she didn't want to look too eager to see a guy… Even if he was the person that preoccupied her thoughts the majority of the time and her dad already knew that she acted differently when she was doing anything that concerned Sam.
At the bottom of the stairs, she could hear something cooking on the stove and felt the slightest twinge of guilt at leaving her dad again so soon. Granted the McNamaras weren't spending nearly every waking hour with each other like they had over the past few months now that her dad had a girlfriend, but for some reason Toni felt like she should have asked for her father's permission to leave to meet Sam in Las Vegas. She hadn't ever felt that way when she was heading out on a hunt and once again she told herself that she was feeling that way now because this trip was for pleasure (with Sam no less) and not work, which was throwing her off. Even though his last visit hadn't been associated to a hunt, it hadn't caused her to have as much anxiety because she had been in 'problem solving' mode at the time so she didn't get a chance to revel in any feelings other than making things better for Sam.
Toni gently placed her duffle bags in the hallway as quietly as she could before taking in a deep breath to mentally prepare herself. When she finally forced herself to step into the kitchen, Toni quickly turned away quietly cursing, "Oh shit! Sorry!"
Yvette and Tom separated like shrapnel spreading after an explosion as soon as they heard Toni's voice. Tom turned his attention back to the food in the pan on the stove to hide that he was blushing and swiped his left arm over his lips. Yvette didn't seem fazed at all that Toni had caught the two of them kissing while preparing a late lunch and just returned to cutting vegetables with a serene smile on her face.
While still keeping his eyes securely trained on the pan, Toni's dad called out, "Hey there Angel… I didn't expect… I… Uh…"
"We thought you'd be so deep in research mode again that we'd have to pry you away to force you to eat… Again," Yvette finished as she wrapped an arm around Tom's waist. "Sweetheart, I think that the ham is more than well done."
Tom jumped slightly under Yvette's touch and didn't seem to come out of his daze until Yvette claimed ownership of the pan. She took over the last of the meal preparations while the McNamaras stood awkwardly in their places and refused to make any attempts to look at each other.
With eyes fixed squarely on her shoes, Toni replied, "Umm… Yeah I definitely was, but then I got a call from Sam and…"
"Sam?" The Colonel exclaimed worriedly as he turned on his heel to face his daughter. "Is he alright? Did he and Dean have another fight? Does he need you to go and pick him up again Angel?"
Toni shook her head as she slowly raised it replying, "No sir everything is pretty much back on track between Sam and Dean." They shared a relieved and still uncomfortable smile before she continued. "But he did have a proposal for me…"
Before Tom could respond, Yvette raised the two platters of food they had prepared saying, "And why don't you tell us all about your conversation over lunch Toni? I was thinking that since it's such a nice day that we could eat out on the patio."
Without waiting for Toni's reply of "Yes Ma'am", Yvette started moving towards the living room en route to the sliding glass door to the patio.
The Colonel stepped up to his daughter's side and wrapped an arm around her shoulder asking, "But Sam…? He's really okay?"
Toni hugged an arm around her dad's waist as they walked out the kitchen doorway as she replied, "Yes Sir he is. Or at least that's what he said, but I'll fill you in on all the details while we eat."
Suddenly the Colonel stopped in his place and inadvertently jerked Toni back so hard that it made her stumble. Toni was just about to ask her dad what was wrong when she noticed the shell shocked look on his face, but then she realized that he wasn't looking at her. Toni followed his gaze to her duffle bag and then she took him by the hand to give it a gentle tug.
"Come on Colonel. I swear I'll give you all of the details."
Toni's dad nodded and let her lead him out to the patio. As they walked through the living room, Toni caught him looking over his shoulder at her two bags more than once. He knew that the smaller one was used to carry all of her weapons and other hunting gear, but it had been a while since he had seen her use the larger one because she had reserved its use solely for packing for vacations.
Over lunch Toni gave her father and his girlfriend the quickest version of her phone conversation with Sam that she could without leaving out any of the important details. Tom laughed in his head at how shy Toni had been when she admitted that she was going to Nevada to have a holiday with Sam, but he made sure not to let his amusement show on his face or in his voice. For the most part, Yvette remained silent and only nodded in agreement to whatever Tom said. She knew that Tom and Toni were still working on some of the aspects of their relationship and she didn't feel that it was her place to interject her thoughts on the topic just yet. She was going to pick her battles carefully and would make her feelings known when the time was right.
When they were finished eating, Toni had offered to clean everything up because the other two had done all of the preparations of their meal, but her dad was quick to remind her that she had a long drive ahead of her and took over cleaning. Toni wanted to protest, but she knew that he was right. Plus she still had a few last minute things she needed to get done before she could head out so she swallowed her automatic objections. Surprisingly enough, Yvette hung back with Toni and left Tom to tend to the dishes on his own.
Toni hadn't noticed that Yvette was lingering in the living room with her as she packed up her laptop and a few other odds and ends until Yvette wrapped an arm around Toni's waist. After spending some time with Yvette, Toni had learned that it was Yvette that had encouraged her father (and everyone else at their AA meetings) to be more physically expressive with their friends and family. She told them that as social creatures, all humans craved touch and that the smallest gestures could mean the world of difference to someone that was feeling pain. She had explained the same thing to Toni and as much as she tried to be comfortable with it, Toni still didn't feel relaxed whenever Yvette hugged her or tried to reassure her by squeezing the younger woman's hand.
"Have a care while you're in Las Vegas," Yvette cautioned in an eerily tranquil tone as she hugged Toni against her.
Toni laughed uncomfortably as she said, "Of course, I'm always careful. Plus Sam and I aren't expecting to run into any trouble while we're there."
"No Toni that's not what I mean," Yvette replied as her voice hardened slightly while keeping her touch just as soft as before. "It would break his heart if he isn't the one to walk you down the aisle."
"What?" Toni questioned stepping out of Yvette's hold. "I'm not going to get married."
Most people would have added 'while I'm in Las Vegas' but anyone who knew Toni would have understood that she meant it as an absolute. Although she was in her first serious monogamous relationship (something that she had sworn was highly unlikely to ever happen), Toni still hadn't changed her mind about marriage. She knew that Sam was on the same page as her even though she was sure that his reasons weren't the same as hers.
"You say that now, but I see differently," Yvette explained with a knowing smile. While Toni stood frozen in her place trying to process what Yvette had just told her, the older woman stepped up to Toni's side and gently stroked her abdomen. "And you would make such an amazing mother… Why do you continue to deny your father this most precious gift that only you can give him?"
Toni quickly snatched up Yvette's hand then threw it towards her own leg. Yvette opened her mouth to say something, but Toni quickly replied angrily, "You and I aren't close enough for you to be spouting out advice to me like that yet. But… You are important to my father so I'm going to pretend that this never happened, okay?"
"Toni…" Yvette implored quietly.
"No," Toni hissed as she whipped around to face Yvette again before more calmly asserting, "That is my decision to make and mine alone. I don't care if you don't like it, but please try to respect it."
Yvette bashfully cast her eyes to the floor as she softly said, "Of course. I'm sorry that I pushed like that but…"
"Please don't do this," Toni pleaded just over a whisper. "Please?"
"Okay. I'm sorry Toni. Truly I am," Yvette replied as she forced herself to not reach out and touch Toni. "Drive safe and have fun with Sam."
Toni nodded but still refused to make eye contact saying, "Thanks I will. Make sure dad stays out of trouble while I'm gone too, alright? No wild parties or anything like that."
Yvette knew that it was a good sign that Toni was trying to finish their conversation on a lighter note, so she gently patted her shoulder saying, "It's my pleasure to keep the old man in line."
Toni just nodded with a tight smile then turned to leave the room. Yvette watched Toni's back and brushed a tear off of her cheek. There were so many things that she wanted to tell the young hunter, but they were things that were meant for Toni's ears alone. Before today the only interactions Yvette had had with Toni had at least included Tom, so she hadn't had a chance to have a heart to heart with her. After seeing Toni's reaction to this attempt, Yvette was starting to regret her decision to try to tell Toni what she had seen in a vision after meeting Sam. She thought that the timing had been right, but then again she couldn't dispute Toni's claim that the two women had yet to establish an intimate enough relationship for Yvette to have been so painfully honest with Toni. Even though she had jumped the gun in an effort to keep her vision from coming true, Yvette had a feeling that she hadn't completely alienated herself from Tom's daughter so she stayed in the living room to give them time to say their good byes alone.
Toni was still fuming about Yvette's audacious comments when she left the room, so she forced herself to take a minute before continuing into the kitchen. She wasn't sure if Yvette was just speaking for herself or if she was trying to tell Toni something that her father was feeling that he wouldn't say to her himself. After her conversation with Alex in the gazebo Toni had made some definite decisions for her future to ensure her happiness and to date she'd stayed true to those resolutions (with a few minor adjustments). But she hated to think that her dad's happiness might have been paying the price for her maintaining her own.
After quadruple checking that she had everything packed in her bags, Toni finally felt like she had calmed down enough to face her dad. She found him still doing dishes as she announced sounding very non-committal, "So I have everything packed."
The Colonel turned to face his daughter as he dried his hands and smiled brightly. "I guess that means that you're ready to hit the road then."
Toni shrugged then shyly dipped her head replying, "I guess."
"Angel…" Tom started with a sad hint to his tone as he scooped her into a tight hug. "You were so excited at the prospect of seeing Sam just a moment ago… What's changed?"
After returning her father's embrace with the same intensity, Toni replied with her cheek against his chest, "I still am, but I just… I… I'll miss you… And you know that I love you, right dad?"
"Toni," he replied with an uneasy chuckle as he pushed out of her embrace. "You know that I do. What is this all about?"
Again Toni shrugged, but this time she tried to explain with a sad tone, "I don't know… But whatever it is I just wanted you to know that I love you and that you're one of the most important people in my life and that I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you or make you feel a like you aren't."
The Colonel took a step forward but stopped himself from saying anything else and just hugged Toni instead to let her know how much he cared for her. After a couple of minutes Tom patted Toni's back before whispering against her hair, "You drive safe Angel and be sure to check in once in a while."
Toni pressed her cheek against her father's chest as she replied, "I promise I will Sir."
Almost as soon as she parked her truck, Toni's cell phone came to life with a text message. She felt mildly guilty that she hadn't called Sam when she had first got to Vegas like she had promised, but the traffic had been too hectic to give her a chance to do so. But in the unlikely event that he might be annoyed, Toni had already thought up a few ways to get Sam to forgive her.
"Meet me… 348 Twain Ave… Dress to impress… Swear it's important."
Toni scowled at Sam's message because she had nothing but casual 'camping' clothing in her bag. Hell if Toni were to take a close look at her wardrobe at him she would have to admit that she only owned one little black dress.
She opted to leave her bags in the safety of her truck while she went inside the hotel to find an information desk. She was sure that Sam had found a hunt and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it, so her first objective was to find the attire Sam told her was needed.
"Good evening. Welcome to the Imperial Palace. How can I help you tonight?"
"Hi. I sort of came unprepared," Toni answered. "Where could I…? I mean is there somewhere that I could get a…? Uhh… An amazing dress to wear to a wedding? Oh and somewhere to get my hair and makeup done?" The front desk clerk gave Toni a thorough 'once over' glance with her eyes to which Toni flashed a wad of cash in her jacket pocket and added, "And of course, money is no object."
The hotel worker gave the hunter a warm smile as she replied, 'Well Elvis didn't lie, this is Vegas and we thrive on turning night into daytime. I have a friend that works over at 'Planet Hollywood'…" She handed Toni a business card with a hastily scrawled note on the back. "By the time you get to her she should have everything together to make you look like a total knockout."
Toni quickly peeled off a one hundred dollar bill from her stash and placed it on the counter with an amused, "Thanks."
True to the Imperial Palace worker's word, there was a woman standing at the entrance waiting for Toni. She hastily ushered Toni to an upscale salon where there were also three racks of formal gowns waiting. After seeing Toni she quickly pushed on rack aside and told a young man to take it was. She then sat Toni down in a chair and they went over her choice of dresses while a team worked on her hair and makeup.
By the time her hair was almost done, Toni had vetoed at least half of the dresses chosen for her. When she had to make her final decision, Toni looked over the last few remaining gowns and sighed heavily. Sam said that her looking like she was dressed to kill was important and she didn't want to disappoint him, so she just ignored her unease to try on the dresses picked out for her.
Everyone in the salon agreed that the dress with a flowing knee length skirt and elaborate beaded corset bodice looked beyond perfect on Toni. She hadn't told them that she needed something that was easy to move in, hence the shorter than 'formal' length skirt.
Toni made her way to the chapel's doors after she stashed a small bag of weapons under a fountain at the other end of the hall (because really? In this get up where else could she hide anything useful?). As soon as she opened the doors, Toni recognized the familiar script of a wedding ceremony, so she quickly slipped onto an empty chair near the front. When she finally looked up to get a lay of the land, she noticed Dean in a charcoal grey suit staring at her with a shocked look on his face. It took Dean nodding to their right before Toni's eyes landed on Sam in a navy blue suit while holding the hands of a woman in a poufy white dress. Sam briefly caught Toni's eye out of the corner of his and waved inconspicuously at her before completing his vows and placing a ring on the finger of the woman beside him.
Toni watched the rest of the ceremony in wide eyed amazement and had to swallow down the bile rising up in her throat while she watched Sam kiss the petit blond woman. She had read enough of Chuck's prose to now that both of the Winchester brothers were more than capable of offering an Oscar worthy performance when required, but she still wished that she hadn't had a front row seat for this one from Sam. As she reached for the non-existent gun at the small of back, Toni let out a sigh of relief that the familiar pistol wasn't there because she didn't know what she would have done with it in her hand right now.
At the end of the ceremony, Toni stood and clapped politely like she had at the last wedding she had attended. Before anything else could happen, Sam lifted her up off the ground in an enthusiastic hug as he exclaimed, "Toni! I didn't think you were going to make it! I'm so happy that you did!"
Sam set her gently on her feet while Toni tried to mentally catch up with the situation. She was sure that Sam would be trying to relay some sort of information to her, but she felt completely useless knowing that her arsenal was a good thirty feet down the hallway.
What Toni hadn't noticed was that Dean had moved closer to her side as Sam turned to his bride while cheerfully saying, "Toni… Let me introduce you to my wife…"
Toni's eyes bugged out as she looked up to Sam's face for reassurance of a plan, but Sam's eyes remained fixed on the woman that was tucked securely under his left arm. Even though she hadn't realized it, Toni quickly found her back pressed against Dean's chest with her right fist engulfed by his right hand. Once she came back to herself, Toni could tell that Dean had kept her from landing a forceful punch into Sam's bride's face, much to the newlyweds' and her own dismay.
When Dean realized that Toni still seemed to be single-mindedly intent on hurting Sam's new wife, he tried to pull Toni farther away from the alter. He hadn't banked on her strength impeding that at all, but then Toni started struggling so hard that he had to use his height advantage to lift her off the ground to move her.
"No… No!" Toni grunted as she felt her heeled feet leave the ground. "No! It has Sam! Dean! Dean! Let me the fuck go! It HAS Sam!"
Dean twisted his torso away from Sam and Becky with his arm securely wrapped around Toni's waist while she continued to scream at him. He knew that right now she looked like an insanely jealous girlfriend to everyone, but he wouldn't let her hurt his brother or 'sister-in-law' if he could help it because he knew Toni would regret it later.
"Dean…! I swear…! If you don't let me go…!" Toni continued to protest as she tried to thrash out of his hold.
Dean crushed her harder against his chest as he continued to increase the distance between the angry woman and the terrified newlyweds. To his credit, Dean had been able to silence most of Toni's protest by crushing the breath out of her even though he had initially underestimated her strength. Dean still had Toni's right wrist in a bruising hold at her side when she finally started to relax in his arms. They were both still hyperventilating from their exertion and Dean was just about to let Toni go when she kicked her heel as hard as she could into his right shin.
"Shit!" Dean cursed out loudly as he dropped Toni on unsteady feet. "Damn it Toni! That fucking hurt!"
Toni just ignored Dean's words and whipped around to stalk over to Sam and whatever had him under its spell. Immediately after she was turned around, Toni froze in her place at the scene before her. Sam had his arms wrapped around the smaller woman with his back facing Toni to act as a human shield. Dean stepped up beside Toni and caught her arm when her knees looked like they might give out on her at the sad, shocked look Sam gave her over his shoulder.
"Hey Toni?" Dean said quietly into her ear. "Why don't you head out and take a breather? I think I saw a bench in the hallway."
Toni nodded dumbly and mumbled dazedly, "Yeah… Yeah… I'll go and… Yeah…" as she moved to the doors. Once she got out into the hallway, she remembered that it was actually empty except for the pictures on the wall and the fountain by the stain glass window at the opposite end. She bent down to retrieve her back and then she just flopped onto her ass with her back against the wall. Dean had already closed the double doors, so Toni just sat on the floor staring at the doors with her bag clutched to her chest while she tried to figure out what had just happened in that room.
"Wow. Thanks Dean. I never would have guessed that Toni would have gotten so upset… I wonder what got into her…" Sam said in quiet awe.
Dean turned to face his brother with the full intention of admonishing him. When he saw a genuinely astonished look on his brother's face that he hadn't see since before Sam reached his teenage years, Dean just shook his head and patted Sam's shoulder saying, "I'll talk to her, why don't you just focus on your… *ahem* Wife."
Toni didn't know how long she sat alone on the floor, but her arms started to go numb from squeezing her bag to her chest so tightly. She tried to will herself to move out of the hallway because she wasn't this girl. She wasn't the girl who completely loses her sense of self-worth just because some guy rejected her. She knew that she wasn't and yet she couldn't move from her spot because the numbness had spread from her arms to the rest of her body. She was so out of it that she didn't even register the sight of Sam and Becky walking past her. Sam hesitated and nearly leaned down to check on her, but then he remembered everything that Dean had told him and let himself be led out of the building.
"Toni…?" Dean repeated over and over as he shook her by the shoulders. "Toni… Come on man… Tell me you haven't gone completely catatonic on me… Seriously Toni you have got to snap out of this…"
Dean raised his hand above his head to smack her but stopped when he heard, "If the palm of your hand comes into contact with my cheek, I WILL cut your nuts off Winchester." Toni then turned her eyes up to his face and asked, "So what the hell is it and what the fuck did it do to Sam?"
"Becky?" Dean replied with an uncomfortable laugh as he helped her to her feet. "She's human… But as far as what she did to my brother… I don't know yet…To be honest… Uhh…I was kind of expecting you to be under that veil."
Toni almost stopped in her tracks, but thought better of it and quickly fell back into step with Dean again. "Dean I thought that you knew me better than that… Like I would be caught dead wearing that much acrynalin."
Dean barked out a laugh then gave her outfit along, appreciative look once they reached their vehicles. Toni had slung the duffle bag's strap diagonally across her chest and was looking less than ladylike with her hands on her hips while she stared Dean down.
"Well in my defense, I've only ever seen you in a skirt suit while you were impersonating a Fed, so how was I to know what your taste in dresses is? But this…" He paused to wave a hand vaguely in her direction. "I wouldn't dare try to discourage you from wearing something like this again."
Toni just rolled her eyes and scoffed loudly. "Yeah… Well… Don't get used to it cause this really isn't practical for kicking someone's ass in."
"I think the hole in my right shin would beg to differ." Toni's shoulders slumped but before she could attempt to apologize, Dean added, "So they're heading to Delaware. I was thinking that it'd be best to get out of town and crash somewhere for a bit before continuing on."
As she nodded shallowly, Toni hoarsely replied, "Yeah… Sure… Lead the way."
Toni followed the taillights of Dean's car du jour almost too closely and didn't even have to think to pull over whenever Dean did. When Toni saw Dean pumping gas, she mindlessly followed suit which made Dean start to worry. But Toni tried to maintain the illusion of normalcy by giving him her usual snarky responses when he tried to engage her in conversation even though he couldn't see the usual twinkle in her eye that had accompanied them in the past.
When he rejoined her at their parking spots, he passed before passing her the room key when he realized his error. Toni notice that the two keys bore the same room number and couldn't help but sigh loudly. Toni should have known that she would have needed to remind him that she craved her own space right now. But as it was, all she really wanted to do was to get out her dress and heels in exchange for her pajamas and to crawl into bed. She wasn't sure that she would be able to sleep at all, but if she did manage to, she was sincerely hoping that she'd wake up to find out that this whole night had been just one horrifically surreal dream.
Once they were in the room, Dean just sat on one of the beds and tried not to watch Toni and her near perpetual motion. For the most part Toni didn't even seem to be aware of his existence up to and including the moment that she crawled in under the covers of her bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow, Dean finally got up to get ready for bed and she became acutely alert of his presence, so she suppressed her urge to cry herself to sleep.
Toni woke up with her face buried in the too thin motel pillow and just barely held back a sob when she remembered that she wouldn't be alone. She took in a few deep breaths to calm herself down and then rolled over to face Dean's bed. As soon as she opened her eyes she noticed that the other bed was still made and didn't look like it had been slept in at all. She then caught a glimpse of the empty glass of 'whiskey' Dean had offered her while she was in bed and the reason why she had slept so soundly became painfully clear.
"Dean!" She nearly screamed as she threw the covers back and ran to the window. "NO!" She finally did shriek at seeing Dean's multi-colored Dodge gone. "I'll kill him! I swear!" Toni repeated over and over as she changed and repacked her bag.
She was half tempted to leave the dress she had bought in Vegas behind, but then she remembered how much it had cost, so she stuffed it into a corner of her travel bag. She was sure that she could find an excuse to wear it again, but burning it sounded like it could be fun too. It didn't take long for her to get her things together and to throw down a tip for the maid before loading herself up with her bags and exiting the room.
As she made her way to her truck she instantly noticed that something was off causing her to drop her bags muttering, "No… no… no… no… NO!" as she ran to the nose of her pickup.
She angrily kicked the flat front driver's side tire and cursed out a few more expletives before noticing that that wasn't the only abnormality. She quickly moved down the length of the driver's side of the truck and around the back until she reached the flat rear passenger's tire. She didn't have to look at either of them to know that there would be slash marks in the sides of both tires which would render them impossible to repair. As she pulled out her cell phone, Toni found a note tucked under her wiper blade. After she snatched it out, she read one simple word written on it. The block lettered "SORRY" immediately had Toni seeing red because she knew to whom the handwriting belonged.
Toni wasn't surprised that Dean let her call go to voicemail, so she made sure that all of her rage was present in voice as she angrily packed her bags in her truck, "You slashed my tires? Are you fucking kidding me Dean? You better fucking pray that you figured out the balance right and didn't bend the rims because if you did fuck it up… Well there isn't an angel in Heaven or a demon in Hell that can save you from me… And you tell me…? From my tone…? Do I sound like I'm joking?"
She quickly hit the "End Call" button on her phone and then kicked the curb defiantly as she heard a man politely say, "Ouch, you got hit too, huh? We've been warning our guests for weeks and have upgraded our security cameras and lighting in the hopes to scare the vandals off… Here… This place has helped out a lot of the other victims we had a couple of weeks ago." Toni tentatively took the business card that was being offered to her. "And don't worry about the check-out time. It'll be more comfortable for you to wait for them in the room… At least there's a T.V. in there."
Toni couldn't help but smile at his helpfulness as she meekly replied, "Thanks. I really appreciate that, but I left my key in the room so I'll be fine waiting out here. But thanks again for the number to the tire place and all."
He smiled sympathetically then unlocked her room door saying, "Good thing I'm the manager then. But in all honesty it's still pretty early so it might be a while until they can get out here to help… I'll ask the maid to hold off cleaning your room."
"Thank you," Toni replied earnestly. When the manager just smiled shyly, Toni pull a bill out of her pocket and pressed it into his palm insistently saying, "Seriously, thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate your kindness."
The middle aged, balding man's eyes briefly grew wide at seeing the one hundred dollar bill in his hand as he retreated to the office replying, "It's absolutely no problem. Take your time."
As the motel worker had predicted, Toni was going to have to wait a while for a tow truck because the guys at the shop wanted to make sure the alignment hadn't been screwed up. Toni wasn't inclined to object because she was somewhat afraid that if she didn't treat her truck right that Alex's ghost would suddenly appear and haunt her in retribution. After her truck had been towed, Toni then found herself in a waiting room, sipping overly strong coffee while no less than three men at a time ensured that her truck was better than drivable.
While she paced the small room, Toni tried Dean's cell yet again with the same annoying result of it going to voicemail. "UGH! You fucking pussy! I just need to know where the fuck you are in Delaware… And don't worry you didn't fuck up my truck so I don't need to hurt you…" Toni took in a bracing breath then more calmly said, "Please Dean? You didn't see him after… Umm… Iowa… Please? He trusted me then and I need you to trust me now. I promise I'll leave all of my weapons in the lock box of my truck. Please Dean? Please don't leave me hanging here… I really just want to help."
Toni placed her phone on her table before continuing to pace and staring at it, willing it to ring. Toni knew that there was no way that Dean could have missed the fact that she had call, but she was fairly certain that there was little to no chance that he would listen to her voicemails.
So what do I do now? Just drive to Delaware and hope that I'll stumble into them? Damn it! Call me Winchester, just fucking call me! Toni thought to herself while she unconsciously dialed one of her contacts.
"Toni… Hey…" the male voice greeted her uneasily.
Toni laughed as she sat down on a chair and replied, "Hey bobby. So I take it from your tone that you know all about what's going on, huh?"
"That I do…And for what it's worth, I'm sorry that you had to see that," Bobby answered with a more comfortable timber to his voice.
"Yeah that did suck, but it wasn't your fault so there's no need for you to apologize. But I was hoping that you could help me with something."
"Name it and I'll help if I can."
Toni let out a heavy, relieved sigh then asked, "Would you happen to know where Sam and his new beloved (she may have said that with more sarcasm than she had thought she would) are heading to settle down?"
"Where Sam and…? Aren't…? You aren't with Dean and Garth in Pine Creek?" Bobby asked sounding thoroughly confused.
"No," Toni replied with a humorless laugh. "I'm stuck in Moapa, Nevada courtesy of Dean and the two tires he slashed on my truck."
"Dean…? He…? Two tires…? That stupid, stubborn ass," Bobby said sounding like he was reciting a curse. "Damn it! He made it sound like you were there with him and that you both thought that extra back up was a good idea."
"Well I'm not," Toni stated with a neutral tone. "But it's okay. As much as I wanted to beat him black and blue, I've had some time to think and I've cooled off. I think I can actually finish this with a level head now."
"Ah Toni… You're a better man than me," Bobby praised as they shared a knowing laugh at their shared inside joke. "Okay… Well Becky's from Pine Creek, Delaware. From what Dean's told me there's been a few strange deaths around there that all of them are investigating. But first things first… Do you have a pen and paper?" Bobby paused long enough to hear Toni's indignant scoff before saying, "Right… Of course you do. Okay her name is Becky Rosen. She lives at number seven at four two three Heather Street in Pine Creek. It sounds like her high school reunion's this weekend, so you might want to start there."
"Okay, go that. Th-Wait… Rosen? Becky Rosen…? Like the chick that organized the first 'Supernatural' convention? THAT Becky Rosen?"
"I'm not even going to ask how you know that, but yeah… That's her…"
Toni blushed and she hoped that her embarrassment wouldn't show as she said, "Okay well at least now I have a name to go with the face. Thanks for everything Bobby. Umm… Is…? Uhh… Are you doing okay?"
Bobby chuckled softly as he replied, "I'm alright. Thanks for asking. But you've got a long drive ahead of you, so don't worry about me."
"Okay. Yeah, you're right. But Bobby? Can I bug you for another favor?"
"Of course you can Sweetheart, what is it?"
Toni stuttered in a breath then asked, "If you talk to Dean before I see him, please don't get mad at him about stranding me here, okay? He was right… I needed to cool off before seeing Becky again."
"There are other ways he could have accomplished that."
"Yeah… But I don't really like being tied to the bed while still fully clothed," Toni joked in a flat nonchalant tone. When she realized that her joke had stunned Bobby into silence, she tried a different approach, "Seriously Bobby. You've met me and I'm secure enough to admit that Dean couldn't have said anything to keep me here. So please tell him that I'm really not mad at him and that I just want so badly to help him? Please Bobby?"
"I can definitely do that Toni… So long as you promise me that you'll drive safe."
"I always… I mean, yes sir, I'm promise that I will."
Although Bobby had suggested going to the venue for Becky's high school reunion first, Toni couldn't resist the chance to snoop around the home of the woman that had trick, be spelled or drugged Sam to get him to marry her. She kept telling herself that she wasn't mad, but she couldn't ignore how her hands were shaking from suppressing her rage while she worked at picking Becky's door lock. Stupidly Toni's mind remained so focused on trying to calm her nerves that she didn't even spare a glance over her shoulder to check if anyone else was in the hallway. But luck was on Toni's side because she finally did make it inside before anyone could catch her.
A rush of relief flooded through Toni as she closed the door but it was quickly washed away when she turned to face the room because she was instantly confronted with a wedding photo of Becky and Sam. The sight of their smiling faces brought back the feelings of pure rage that had overwhelmed her in the chapel with such a vengeance that Toni barely stopped herself before putting her fist through the glass of the frame. She then stood there and stared at Sam's smiling face while trying to will away her tears. Sam had told her more than once (with and without a soul) that he knew that he was never meant to have a cookie cutter, All-American life and that he was okay with that, but at a moment like this Toni couldn't help but wonder if he was lying to her… And worse off if he was being dishonest with himself.
She almost started to cry and moved her hand to stroke his face when something caught her attention out the corner of her eye. On the all of the next room, she found a scene akin to the one that she had read about John putting together during his hunts. Bobby had told her that there was a job in town, but seeing it laid out this clearly on the wall made her pretty much forget about her own problems. People were dying here and putting a stop to that was more important than her heartache so she started reading through everything plastered on the wall to keep her focus on that problem.
After going over all of the posted information twice, Toni turned towards the computer behind her in the hopes of finding more of their research there. What she found instead was Becky's twitter page. As Toni read her last tweet of "Going for a romantic trip with the hubster!" she felt such an overwhelming urge to vomit that she actually got up and ran into the kitchen to stand over the sink. She ignored the fact that she had nearly lost her lunch and poured herself a glass of water to calm herself down again.
After what felt like hours, Toni had read through every document that she could find on Becky's hard drive, but was no closer to figuring out what was happening to people in this town. She did, however, now wish that Castiel was still around so that he could white wash her memory like he had to Dean's family after reading things that no intimate friend of the Winchesters should have ever witnessed of their own free will.
Even though a new wave of nausea tried to overtake her after reading Becky novelettes, Toni still had the presence of mind to check for clues around the desk. Despite her desire to gouge her eyes out, people were still dying and Sam was still being taken advantage of and she knew that the only thing that would make her feel better would be to fix one or both of those situations. If she couldn't accomplish either of those goals, she reasoned that beating the snot out of Becky seemed like a fair consolation prize, so Toni still had to work to find her.
Just to the left of the computer monitor, Toni found an overturned picture frame. As she picked it up, her hopes that it would yield a clue were quickly dashed because it was empty. She put it down with a forced calm hand and then she gave the room another quick once over.
Fine… I guess I'll be forced to experience a high school reunion after all Toni thought to herself with a shudder as she made her way out. At the door she gave the apartment yet another lingering look. This time she didn't try to stop herself before she punched the glass out of the wedding photo.
Although it was the only form of vengeful retribution that she could think of to satisfy her 'bloodlust', Toni groaned and silently cursed her stupidity when she saw the small cut oozing blood between her knuckles. Punching the photo was childish and hurt no one but herself, and yet as she placed her fist in her mouth to suck at her wound, Toni couldn't help but feel an odd sense of satisfaction. Toni felt a wide smile spread across her face as she continued down the hall still soothing her wound with her tongue because she now was beyond certain that the violence was out of her system and that she could face Becky without actually punching her.
"Toni?" She paused when she heard a familiar voice call her name. "Toni! Wait up!"
She paused in her spot before forcing herself to turn around while keeping her still bleeding hand hidden behind her back. Toni braced herself not to show her true emotions once she was turned around, but she couldn't have suppressed her shock at meeting a chestful of Sam Winchester if she had tried. She nearly laughed because she knew that his close proximity meant that he must have run over to her, but him engulfing her lips with his own silenced any reaction she could have mustered.
"I'm so sorry Toni," Sam nearly whispered with his lips beside her ear. "I never meant to hurt you… Please tell me that you believe that…"
Toni looked up into his eyes and felt her lip start to tremble so she quickly bit it to silence herself. As she moved her eyes to the ceiling in an effort to regain her composure, Toni caught a quick glimpse of the group assembled behind Sam. He whipped his head around in a redundant effort to confirm what he already knew; Toni wouldn't want to be completely vulnerable in front of an audience, especially not right now, so he gripped her by the shoulders and turned them so that her back would be facing the group.
Before Sam could utter another word, Toni pulled out her right hand to show Sam the small cut between her knuckles saying, "I need to clean this up."
Sam gently took her hand in both of his then kissed her palm before replying, "Yeah… You should. I wouldn't want you to bleed to death or anything."
Since the injury was so minor, Toni gave Sam an appreciative smile at his well-placed joke and said, "I texted you the name of a hotel that I booked us a couple of rooms in case you guys got this all figured out… Meet me there when you're… Umm… Done with everything else and then we can talk… Just you and me… Without a crowd of onlookers, okay?"
Sam's eye brows knitted together in a confused scowl as he pulled his phone out to check it. When he saw the message she had just told him about, Sam apologized as quickly as he could, "Oh crap… You must have sent this when Crowley showed up while we were dealing with two other… So I…"
"So you get a free pass for being preoccupied while dealing with demons when I messaged you," Toni interjected with an understanding tone Sam had never heard from her while she lightly ran her finger over a red mark over his right eye. "But I'm still bleeding so I should really go and take care of this. You finish up whatever you're doing here and I'll text you my… Our room number so you can meet me later, okay?"
Sam wanted to protest and to beg her to stay, but her plan sounded more than reasonable, so he just nodded, kissed her cheek then said, "Okay, I'll see you later."
At the hotel Toni paid cash upfront for both rooms for two nights (even though she only anticipated them staying there for one) and left Dean's key at the front desk for him to pick up. As she walked back to her room, she sent each of the Winchesters a separate set of final instructions and then hopped in the shower to cover up the fact that she was having one last cleaning bout of tears to mark the end of the chapter.
After she had changed into her pajamas consisting of a pair of loose fitting flannel pants and a skin tight baby doll t-shirt, Toni started tracing an oval over the floor of her room. She'd plugged her phone into an outlet and placed it on the table so she could check it at regular intervals during her pacing, but it remained silent and message free.
As she continued to pace, Toni almost started to question her decision to try to take the reins by ordering the Winchesters around kind of like their father used to when he was alive. At the time she thought that they would respect her for taking the initiative, but now she wondered if she'd made the wrong move and had actually alienated them completely. When she got close to her phone again, she picked it up to illuminate the screen to double check for any missed calls or messages and jumped at the sound of someone knocking at her door.
Toni hadn't once honestly considered that it would be anyone but Sam at the door and opened it right away while looking less than presentable for anyone to see her but him. Once the door was opened all the way, Sam tried to ignore the cloth that looked like it had been painted over her chest, but a small part of him knew that Toni wouldn't have worn it if she hadn't wanted him to notice how she looked in it. After a long lingering look at her chest, Sam let his eyes wander to her face and everything he wanted to say crumbled under a nearly violent onslaught of tears.
"It's okay Sam," Toni said as she tenderly held his cheek in the palm of her hand. "You've had a rough week… I've had a shitty week… You fought… What was it? Two demons and a psycho super fan before running into Crowley? It's been shittier than anything else we've dealt with together, so why don't you go, get ready for bed…? And then you can… Can… Just hold me so that we can get a proper night's sleep… And then we'll talk about it all in with every gory detail tomorrow, okay?"
Sam still looked uncertain as he let Toni lead him into the room, but he didn't offer any protests. She caught the conflicted look on his face so she pulled his lips down to hers for a soft lingering embrace before she quietly ordered, "Now I'm going to lay down in the bed… And you're going to wash off the stink of these last few days and then you're going to join me… Understand?"
"Toni… I…" Sam countered as he grasped her hips to keep her from moving and rested his forehead against hers. "Please…? I…"
"Tomorrow Sam… Sleep tonight and then gross heavy shit tomorrow, alright?" Toni pleaded nearly on the verge of tears.
Sam just nodded then kissed her nose before he picked up his bag and moved into the bedroom. Toni stood cemented in her place for a moment and then finally found that she could move. After drying some involuntary tears that had fallen on the bottom of her t-shirt, Toni forced herself to step over beside the bed. At the edge of the mattress, she stood completely still again to listen to the sounds of Sam preparing for bed and then forced herself to hear them as being nothing but normal as she slipped in under the sheets.
Toni remained on her side, just to the right of center of the mattress so that Sam would be forced to cuddle in against her back or he could sleep on the other side of the bed with a gap in between them if he chose to do that instead. But she still shifted her position slightly a few times feeling like she couldn't get comfortable at all for no good reason that she could identify.
When Toni heard the bathroom door open, her body finally stopped moving without her brain telling it to remain still. She hoped that Sam would take her invitation whole-heartedly and without reservation, but she wasn't certain that he was going to so she opted to play possum until he made his decision. While Toni remained motionless, she heard Sam moving around the room without fully understanding why he hadn't joined her on the bed yet.
Toni subconsciously jumped slightly at feeling Sam's arm slide over waist. She could feel his reluctance to get too close to her too quickly, so she pressed her buttocks gently into his groin to let him know that he was a welcomed presence. Almost immediately after that Toni felt Sam press his chest against her back and they both shifted slightly so that they were more comfortable on the bed.
Toni pulled his arm up over her chest to force him that much closer to her body as she quietly asked, "Do you have enough room?"
Sam shifted his lower half so that it was pressed down the length of her as he replied against her ear, "Yeah, I'm good."
"Mmm…"Toni praised as she tangled her legs with his and pressed her hand against his lower back to force him even closer. "This…? Sam… This is perfect for the best night's sleep ever…" Toni nuzzled in closer to the bedding and Sam's body as she sleepily commented, "Or the only non-restless night's sleep I've gotten all week."
Sam pressed his nose behind Toni's ear and involuntarily exhaled a soft breath against her skin at hearing her last comment which caused her to shudder against the full length of his body. He then kissed the back of her ear and worked his way down to Toni's throat until he heard her moan before whispering, "I'm so sorry Toni. It wasn't me…"
"Sam…" Toni growled out as she once again tried to settle against him to fall asleep. "Not now… Sleep now and then tomorrow… Tomorrow… We'll talk tomorrow… Just sleepy now…"
Despite her adamant protests, Sam settled in against her back with another kiss behind her ear and whispered, "I really am sorry Toni…"
"Sam!" She barked again into the pillow before a sleepy, "Tomorrow."
"Okay," he replied as he nuzzled his nose into her hair. Toni thought that Sam was finally going to lay back to fall asleep, but then she felt him kissing the shell of her ear again because there was one thing he needed her to hear before they fell asleep. "Toni I swear, we didn't even consummate the marriage so it's been…"
Before Sam could get out the word "Annulled", Toni had pushed herself out of his arms. He watched her as she stood beside their bed to get her bearings and almost called out to her, but instantly thought better of it. Toni did nothing more than scoop up the first room key and jacket (not realizing that it belonged to Sam) before making a quick retreat through the door.
Dean was startled out of his state of near sleep by someone pounding at his hotel room door. He was so out of it that he tried to recall a girl that might have had an over protective father or an angry partner that might be looking for him and would have been knocking at his door, but when he didn't come up with one he just unlocked and opened his door.
Before Dean could identify the tear streaked face of the petite woman wrapped in a jacket that was three sizes too big for her, Dean heard her ask, "Can I sleep on your couch?"
Dean remained stationary in the doorway and Toni immediately noticed that he was too out of it with the need to sleep that he couldn't catch up to what was happening or what she was asking.
Before Dean could do anything else, Toni forced her way into the room while drying her cheeks on Sam's jacket's sleeves and saying with a more insistent tone, "I just need somewhere to sleep. All I want is one night on the couch that I paid for and I'll give you enough cash that you won't have to run any credit card scams for the rest of the year, okay?"
"Toni… That won't be necessary," Dean answered sadly as he pulled a blanket off his bed and then draped it over her curled up frame on the couch. "Let me know if you need anything else."
When she didn't reply Dean went out to his room door to double check on everything in the hallway. When he looked towards the room Toni and Sam were meant to share he caught his brother's eye and informed him through a hushed yell, "She's asleep on the couch, so just sleep it off Sammy."
Sam nodded then turned back into the room he'd inadvertently chased Toni out of without another word. She had asked him for space for the first time that he could recall, but he hadn't given it to her because he was afraid she was going to try to avoid the topic. He hadn't ever wanted to know what it would be like to push her away, but he did take a small amount of solace in the fact she hadn't made it past Dean's door.
Dean closed his door as quietly as he could and shook his head at the thought of how Toni and his brother were being so stupid and stubborn with each other right now. He also noticed that Toni hadn't taken Sam's jacket off and just barely stifled an exasperated laugh.
What neither Winchester knew was that Toni hadn't fallen asleep and was still wide awake and staring at the back of the couch while going over all of the details that she had planned for the next day. She had arranged to have breakfast and all the fixings delivered to the room she was supposed to be in right now, cuddled together with Sam safe in his arms, and she was sincerely hoping that it found the three of them before their relationships deteriorated beyond repair.