A/N- Updates will probably continue to be slow. Just recently diagnosed with a lung disease that has no cure so finishing this fanfic is sort of at the bottom of my bucket list. I have actual novels that I would like to get finished and try to have them publish but I will still try to update this fic when my inspiration runs dry with my other stories. It just won't be fast updates. That is all, thanks so far for all the good reviews!

I don't want to be the bad guy,
I've been blaming myself and I think you know why.
I'm killing time, and time's killing you
Every way that I do.

Did you say "please just follow me?"
I thought you wanted me.
Cause I want you all to myself.
I can try to suck it up,
I just can't suck it up.
Make me feel like some one else

I'm under the gun, you're like the only one.
I just can't decide what I'm running from.
This isn't what I wanted, but
I can't keep my filthy fucking mouth shut.

It's not enough, it's never enough.
I wish I could breathe without getting it stuck.
Can't focus it, but I try it
over and over again. -MARIANAS TRENCH

Chapter Nineteen- The Great Wall

Sesshomaru stood in front of his car as he waited on Kagome. His jaw clenched when his younger half-brother showed up instead.

"Where is she," Sesshomaru growled.

Inuyasha froze in surprise. Since when did Sesshomaru get so hot-headed?

"Kags wanted me to let you know she's hanging out with a friend today and won't need to get a ride with you." The hanyou carefully eyed his half-brother as he relayed this information.

"And that woman doesn't have the decency to tell me herself?"

His voice had gone cold but underlying that, Inuyasha detected something else. It was something that had shocked the hanyou even further. Was this actually paining his older half-brother?

Awkwardly he stood in place. "Hey Sess- are you okay?"

He waited for some sort of nasty retort back but instead the taiyoukai before him just look defeated. Without a further word, the boy got in his car. Inuyasha silently watched as he drove away.

b-r-e-a-k-

Kagome looked at all the sweets that Shippou's mother had set out for them. She didn't even know where to begin. The fox demon was surprised when Kagome ate just as much cakes and cookies as himself, if not even more so. Where was she putting it all?

"You must have a sweet tooth like me," the kitsune laughed.

"Yeah I guess so," Kagome gave him a rare smile.

"Hey Kagome," Shippou started uncertainly, "I was just wondering…are you okay?"

Kagome suddenly seemed to stare off into space. "What do you mean?"

"You just…you don't seem happy and even when you smile you tend to sort of look sad. Does it have to do with Sesshomaru?"

"I don't know. It's hard to explain...I wake up every morning feeling like someone else. It's like I've been split in two and all I feel is this emptiness."

The kitsune stared at her in surprise. He hadn't actually expected a honest response. Was Kagome starting to trust him now? The raven haired girl before him looked so lost. Not being able to help himself, Shippou wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay Kagome, you can talk to me whenever you need to. I'll always listen."

A lone tear trailed down her face and then another followed. It was always harder to hold them in when someone was being nice to her. When someone was actually acting like they cared for her. Why did he have to be so nice? Kagome held back a sob as more tears came.

Shippou continued to hug her as he trailed his thumb along her wrist. The rugged lines he felt made his whole body stiffen. Wisely, he didn't say anything about it but Kagome had already felt his reaction. She quickly pulled away.

"I'm sorry for crying on you like that, I don't know what came over me! I should get going. I have something I have to do later and I don't want to be late. Thank you for having me over, Shippou-kun."

Kagome hastily left before the kitsune could even react properly. He stared at the spot she once vacated with a heavy feeling. How could he help his friends?

"Are you okay, sweetie," his mother asked as she came in to clean.

"Mom, why do some people hurt themselves?"

The older fox demon looked at her son startled. "What are you talking about Shippou? You don't want to hurt yourself, do you?"

"No, not me but why do some people hurt themselves on purpose?"

She wrapped her arms around her son. "Some people can't handle what they are feeling and need an outlet but it's still wrong and if you ever see someone doing that you should tell an adult. Have you seen someone hurting themselves?"

Shippou frowned. He hadn't actually seen the scar, just felt it. What if there was a reasonable explanation?

"No mama, I haven't. Was just curious that's all."

-b-r-e-a-k-

Inuyasha tried to go unnoticed as he observed Sesshomaru in the family room. The older boy sat motionless, awaiting Kagome's return. The hanyou wasn't in the habit of paying much attention to the other boy but that was before Sesshomaru started acting so oddly. That pained expression was still on his face. Could Inuyasha have been wrong? Was his older half-brother really in love with Kagome?

His body tensed as the raven haired girl entered the room. Trying to fade into the background he continued his spying.

Sesshomaru jumped up upon Kagome's entrance. The apology he had planned escaped him as an over-powering scent of kitsune hit his powerful nose. She was covered in that little brat's scent. Why did she smell so strongly of another?

"You let someone else touch you," Sesshomaru ground out dangerously. His eyes took on a red tinge. No…this wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to be losing control. This isn't how things were supposed to be. Closing his eyes, the taiyoukai made himself calm down. If she was at Shippou's house then of course she would smell strongly of him, it didn't have to mean anything else.

Kagome defensively felt her own anger swell up. "I don't really think at this point it's any of your business who touches me or not."

Sesshomaru's eyes snapped open. So that kitsune had touched what was his? Letting out a growl, he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend. "I should be the only one touching you." He felt her body go limp in his hold, like some sort of broken doll.

"Then stop adding to my sorrows."

Her voice sounded soft and empty. Without even having to look at her, he knew there were fresh tears running down her face. He buried his face in her hair.

"I am so sorry Kagome. I promise to be better, please forgive me." It was the most sincere thing Sesshomaru had ever said and he was surprised at just how much he felt for this little human. Relief filled him as she finally hugged him back, her face pressed up against his chest.

This was probably his last chance at making things right with Kagome. He wouldn't mess it up this time. Scooping her up into his arms, he carried the little miko to her room.

Inuyasha was too shocked to move. Had he really just witnessed all of that? There was no mistaking it now; Sesshomaru was in love with that miko girl. A knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts. Walking in a daze, he opened the door.

Kikyou frowned at her boyfriend's expression. "What's up with you? We were supposed to meet earlier, did you forget about me?"

Inuyasha snapped out of his daze. "Sorry, something came up with Sess. I guess Kagome is staying so you don't have to worry about her moving into your place."

The miko's eyes went cold. "Oh, well, good for them then."

Inuyasha nodded absentmindedly. "So yeah but I'm free now. What did you want to do?"

-b-r-e-a-k-

Sesshomaru placed Kagome gently on the bed before lying beside her and wrapping himself around her. He nuzzled his face against her hair as she took in his warmth.

Was she dreaming? This seemed too good to be true. Her eyes felt too heavy to keep open. Feeling content for once, Kagome fell asleep in his arms.

Sesshomaru kept her closely cuddled against him while she slept. He didn't ever want to let go. He traced a finger along her scarred wrists. His hold on her tightened. He would make it up to her somehow. He would help her somehow.