6.
Hope, is like a petal on a flower. Fragile but beautiful, strong but weak. It's powerful but fragile all at the same time. But like a flower hope can blossom until it catches fire under the sun.
Hope, the only thing stronger than fear.
I can't help but disagree with that statement. I can hope, but my fear is pretty strong right now and me 'hoping' to get a good score won't diminish that fear. I, along with everyone else including our stylists, are waiting for the training scores. I am so scared to see what my score is I have to forcefully stop myself from shaking. Then there's the looming death cloud that floats atop my head. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm going into the games in only 2 days time and I'm not ready.
I'm not ready to die.
So you see my fear is a lot stronger than my hope.
Ivan's faces appears on the screen and he whoops in delight when he scores a 10. I congratulate him quickly before I see my face appear on the screen and I fall silent. The butterfly's in my stomach appear to flutter around quicker now than ever. I can't un-glue my eyes from the screen.
"Annie Cresta" Ceaser Flickerman says "6". I smile when the large 6 flashes across my face. That's not a horrible score, definitely not a 2 or even a 0. Everyone congratulates me and slaps me on the back.
"Good job guys" Mags tells us proudly, Finnick just stares at the ground. I feel disappointed that he didn't say anything, but quickly think better of it. Why should I feel disappointed? I shake my head in confusion and look back at the screen to see the other tributes scores. So far both tributes from District 1 got 10's, the girl from 2 got an 8 and the boy got a 9. Both tributes from 3 got 5's. The rest of the scores are pretty low until they reach Spring who manages a 9. She must be good. Oak gets a 7 and Alec gets a 6. Alyssa manages to scrape up a 5. Coal gets a 4 and her partner whose name I find out to be Darius gets a 3. I feel bad for them.
I feel my eyelids start to droop and Finnick notices. "You should get some sleep, prepare for some training tomorrow" he tells me.
"Training?" I question in confusion.
"We need to prepare you for the interviews" Mags tells me "you get 1 hour with Finnick, 1 hour with Daisy then you go to your prep team". I can't decide which one is worse an hour with Daisy or going to my prep team. I haven't decided before Finnick insists I go to bed. I oblige and saunter tiredly to my room and collapse on my bed. I don't even bother to take off my clothes before I fall asleep.
I wake in the middle of the night with a parched tongue and I decide to get a drink. I make it out of my room and down the hall fine before I hear someone talking in a room near the beginning of the hall. I remember that this is Mags room. I am about to continue down the hall not wanting to eaves drop when I hear my name.
"...Annie shouldn't be brought into this" I hear Finnicks voice say.
"Honey she's bound to suspect something, the way you stare at her and flirt with her. I would be surprised if she hasn't noticed already" Mags says, he stares at me? I can't help but stop to listen.
"It's dangerous" he snaps back "Snow could purposely hurt her".
"What more can he do?" Mags questions and I silently agree with her "he's already throwing her into the arena, he already made sure she was reaped. All because he found out you have a crush on her".
"Crush?" Finnick snorts.
"You can't love someone if you don't know them" Mags counters, does she mean me? Finnick love me? "you've never talked to her".
"Because I've been trying to keep her safe" Finnick's voice starts to rise in anger.
"Shhh" Mags warns him "we don't want anyone to hear".
"Sorry" Finnick mutters "you know that's not my fault and I do love her".
"I don't know what you see in her" Mags says, I agree with her.
"She's different" he says "she's not like the rest of them".
"Your making it pretty obvious how you feel about her" Mags tells him "and that kiss Finnick? What were you thinking?".
"I know I know I'm sorry" he states "I couldn't control my emotions. You know she's practically given up already, already wondering why we bother helping her. She refuses to hurt anyone in the arena, how am I supposed to get her out alive if she won't even defend herself".
"Give her a reason to hope" Mags tells him.
"Why hope?" he wonders.
"Hope is the only thing stronger than fear"
There it is again, that stupid saying. Why does everyone believe that?. I hear footsteps coming towards the door and I quickly turn away and run back to my room. I just slip into my room before the door opens, I would have been caught if he had opened the door two seconds earlier.
I sink down onto my bed and put my head in my hands. What had I just heard? Did Finnick actually say he loved me, that he wanted to get me out of the arena? I feel confused when I think this. He couldn't love someone like me, he couldn't. Then there's the fact that he had loved me for years and had never talked to me before to keep me safe. Why would that keep me safe? What could hurt me? And the part where Snow made sure I was reaped, is that why he looked so guilty at the reaping?. Did he know it was his fault all along?
I don't realize that I've slipped into a dream until I'm immersed into the dream itself. I dream that I win the games and me and Finnick are together. The dream is a fantastic dream but also make me want to cry. Because I know that will never happen. It could never happen. Then I know 3 things for certain that I didn't know before.
One Finnick loves me, always has and always will.
Second I'm about to die in an arena because of that love.
And third that I'm unconditionally and irrelevantly in love with him.
The next day begins like any other, but it couldn't be more different. I yawn and smile and skip out of my bed. I can't believe what I heard last night, and I know I shouldn't have heard any of it, but I did. I know he loves me and I love him.
My bright mood diminishes when I realize where I am, when I realize tomorrow I am going into the arena. And it's practically certain that I'm not coming back out. The thought terrifies me but makes me feel peaceful all the same. I wonder how that could be but then I realize that everything would be much more peaceful in death. If I win I have to deal with the deaths that happened around me, if I die, I'll be in peace.
I take a quick shower and wash my hair with ocean scented shampoo. I inhale the scent of the sea and salt water and I instantly feel better. The thought of the sea doesn't make me sad any more, but I try not to think of my family. If I do I can't trust that I won't burst out crying.
"Hurry down for breakfast" Daisy calls and I yell back an 'okay'. Maybe I could talk to Finnick about what I heard last night when I am training. I hope he isn't mad.
I dress in yoga pants and a t-shirt before I walk into breakfast and sit down at the table. I pile my plate with hash browns and eggs and almost everything on the table before I begin eating cheerfully. Finnick, looking as breath taking as usual, raises his eyebrows at me and stares at me in confusion. Obviously wondering where my good mood came from. I just smile at him. He shoots be a gorgeous smile before looking down at his plate. For the first time I notice how little food he eats.
He doesn't touch the rest of his food and soon excuses himself from the table. My eyes follow him but he doesn't look back. After breakfast I am whisked away by Daisy for my whole hour with her. Somehow I know it's going to be torture, specially because the anticipation of talking to Finnick is overwhelming me.
I manage to sit through her instructing me on etiquette and posture. I also manages to walk around in huge heels and a large puffy dress without falling over too much. On the third time I tumble to the ground Finnick appears and helps me to my feet. I blush when his hand brushes my bare arm. He smiles at me before turning to Daisy.
"I'm here to take her away" he says "for training". Daisy nods before ushering him out of the room so I can change, he glowers at her but leaves any ways. Daisy looks after him dreamily and I giggle. She asks me why I am laughing but I lie and tell her I'm practising for latter. She seems to believe me and waves goodbye to me without another word.
Next I join Finnick in the other room. He sits on the couch with his arms over his head watching me with a contemplating look.
"I think your angle is going to be..." he starts before stopping to think "probably sweet and humble but witty at the same time".
"Should I know how to do that?" I ask suddenly nervous.
Finnick laughs "well that's why I'm here".
"Oh" is all I reply. He gives me a seductive smile and I quickly look at the floor, how could he be so mesmerizing?
We practice on my 'angle' for the rest of the hour and finally he deems that I am ready.
"I'm nervous" I say honestly while biting my lip.
"Don't be" he replies with a wink "it's easy, they're gonna love you". When he says love I can't help but remember the conversation I overheard last night. He must too because he sighs and sits back down on the couch, now he looks slightly uncomfortable.
"Annie..." he begins and I know where this is going "there is something I need to tell you, I was talking to Mags last night and..."
I cut him off quickly by saying "I'm sorry but I was walking by her room and I heard the last half" I fear that he will get mad at me.
"Well that saves me from having to explain" he says awkwardly before he realizes how non seductive he is being and he pulls out a seductive smile and winks for good measure. Now I know why girls were always swooning over him before. "Wanna say something" he asks while standing up and leaning down close to me. I gulp before nodding.
"I'm sorry I eavesdropped" I say, he leans in closer.
"Anything else?".
"You can't make me hope any more" I say.
"And" he says, by now I can feel his breath on my neck.
"I feel the same way" I squeak, by now my heart rate has quickened and I would be surprised if her couldn't hear it thrumming wildly against my chest. His lips crash into mine and I lean into the kiss, he tastes like the wind and salt water. He even smells like the sea and I pull him closer to me, my eyes closed. He smiles against my lips and I hear him chuckle.
He pulls away so his lips are inches than mine. I open my eyes and stare into his beautiful blue eyes. He smiles before saying "I wanted to do that at least once" he says before he fully leans away from me.
"I love you" I whisper, not meaning for him to hear.
Apparently he does because he stops with his back to me and sighs. He turns back around and looks at me with a sad expression. Obviously my cloud has split in half and is now hanging over him too, or maybe it always has been.
"I love you too Annie" he says before he is gone. I put my finger to my lips and sit in wonder for a moment, did that really just happen? My thoughts are soon brought back to the Hunger Games as my prep team files into the room and whisks me away to get ready for my interview. None of them understand why silent tears roll down my cheeks, but they know better than to ask or complain about my puffy eyes. Little did they know that they are the ones that have made me sad, caused me dispear.
The Capitol has caused me pain by putting me into the Hunger Games, President Snow has caused my I would have to into an arena and watch innocent children die around me, soon I would die too and the Capitol would be watching. They would be cheering on my murderer. Betting who would win and who would die. Forcing my family to watch, Lynn to watch, Finnick to watch.
Nor does my prep team ask why I glare at them through my tears.
A/N: OMG I CANT STOP WRITING THIS! I'm honestly going crazy and this was so fun to write! Kinda depressing because she will be going into the games soon but I love Fannie so much! LOVE LOVE LOVE all my readers and reviewers you guys are amazing and this chapter is for you! xxxxxx