CHAPTER 4

Surprisingly, my mother and Luke only screamed and yelled at me for a few hours but other than that, they took it pretty well. It's been a month since then and my belly is swelling fast. I sit down in a huff on one of the couches in the institute. Jace left for the Silent City, I wanted to go with him, but he wouldn't let me. Next time, if there is a next time, I will be going. I don't want to hear the news of his death secondhand.

I run my hand along my growing belly, already beginning to feel more relaxed.

I must have fallen asleep for when my eyes fluttered open, Jace was sitting beside me, a book in his hands. He looked down and smiled. "Good afternoon, beautiful." He greeted.

I smiled and sat up, stretching on the way. He chuckled. "Hi." I finally answer. "So how did it go?" It mustn't have gone too bad, because he's still sitting in front of me.

"Alright, I have to go back tomorrow. They just explained it more in depth to me. They—er, also said that I should go home and spend time with you." I could hear the unspoken part, 'in case something happens…' I whimpered. Jace turned to me with sad eyes. "I know I'm sexy and hot, but Clary, it'll be okay, I'll make sure of it. Nothing will happen."

That just made the tears fall faster and the sobs to come bigger. "You don't know that! What if something does?"

"Clary… Shh, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that." I could feel the hesitation as he held back from touching me, I cried harder from the loss of his touch on my face, on my hair, on my lips. Suddenly I couldn't take it any longer, something inside my broke and I found myself crushing my lips to Jace's.

"Clary…" he mumbled against my lips, trying to pull me back.

Reluctantly, I let him push me away, apologising immensely. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking…"

He shook his head. "Clary, you don't have to apologise, I understand."

"I just… miss you." I admitted. He nodded.

"I miss you too, Clary."

I placed a hand onto my growing stomach and whispered, "This baby needs you, Jace." He opened his mouth to reply but before he could, my phone started buzzing in my pocket. I whipped out, flicking the top up. It was Luke. "Hey, Luke." I said, sniffling slightly.

"Clary, is everything alright?"

"Yes, fine, just hormones. What's up?"

Luke hesitated. "We need you to come home."

I frowned, Jace looked at me concerned. "Why? Is something wrong?" This made Jace frown too. I smiled softly at him, trying to brush his concern away even though mine ate at my insides.

"No, no, everything's fine. We just need you home, that is all." My frown deepened.

"Alright, I'll be home soon." I ended the call and turned to Jace. "I have to go."

He looked at me with his golden eyes. "Did something happen?" I shook my head, my eyes focussing on something in the distance. "Clary?"

I looked up, snapping back into reality, unconsciously rubbing my belly. "Luke said everything was fine."

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked me, being the protective boyfriend I loved.

I shook my head and stood, he got to his feet with me. "No, it's fine. Mum just probably wants to discuss wedding stuff with me." He nodded. I wanted to kiss him goodbye but substituted for a soft smile and headed towards the elevator.

***PAGE BREAK***

The door closed with a soft click behind me as I stepped into the hallway of Luke's house. "Luke? Mum?" I called out in the large, empty house.

"Clary?" I heard Luke's voice trail frantically from their adjoining bathroom, that is off from his bedroom.

I slipped my hand into the pocket of my pants and pulled out my phone; a finger hovering over the number one in case I needed to call Jace. If there was something here, I wasn't entirely sure I would be able to protect myself and the baby.

The bathroom door was closed, my knuckles rapped against the wood of it. "Luke?" I called.

"Oh, Clary." He said, relief evident in your voice. "Run, go to Jace, don't come back here, not for a little while." I could hear impact against impact and a groan that sounded like it had left Luke's lips.

But I didn't listen, I pushed the door open anyway. What I saw, scared me, I wasn't quite sure how I was still standing.

Sebastian, stood by the bath tub, with Luke kneeling on the tiles, blood coming from a cut in his lip and bruises blossoming across his face and body.

"Ah, sister, always one to not listen." Sebastian chided. "Clarissa, how have you been?" Then his eyes moved to my stomach. I hugged it protectively, my lips forming into a frown. "Been a naughty girl, I see?"

I spat at him and he tsk tsk me. "What do you want?" I demanded as I pressed one into my phone. I heard him pick up on the second ring, calling my name. I didn't answer though.

"Well, that's simple." He said, "I want you. I also want you to give me your damn phone. I know you're calling him, I can hear him; he's on his way."

"Over my grave." Luke spat. Sebastian sent a punch towards Luke's head but Luke was already on his feet, his fists swinging.

"Luke!" I cried out, fearing him getting hurt, or worse, dead. My hands clutched at my stomach uselessly. My eyes scoped the bathroom, searching for any objects that could be used as weapons. I had a few daggers stored in my boots but I wasn't sure how I would bend down to reach those or how effective they would be on someone like the demon who battled against my future father.

I hurried out into the kitchen where Luke stored some dangerous looking blades. I lifted one from its spot in the bottom drawer and felt its weight. Its heavy but I think I can manage it.

I stumble back into the bathroom where both have bruises appearing on their skin and split lips. Both seem focussed on the task before them, and when the blade in my hand sinks into Sebastian's back, they both seem surprised.

I stumble back, the blade clattering to my feet. Sebastian falls to his knees, choking on his own foul blood, black blood covering the tiles. The door behind us opens wider and Jace walks into the situation. His eyes widen and then look up at my eyes which are wide and tearful. He was evil but he was still my brother. I had just killed my own brother.

I bring my hands to my head and hold them over my ears, willing myself to not scream. I feel arms envelope me and for a second I think it's Jace, but by the feminine touch of them I realise it's my mother. Tears cloud my vision and I know she is crying too. We hold each other and cry until no more tears can come.

***PAGE BREAK***

Jace sits on my bed when I finally crash onto the bed. He looks at me and then down to my stomach and then finally my lips. I know he wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss him, but we don't. We just stare at each other.

"So, tomorrow?" I whisper to him.

He stretches his long body beside me and rubs a strand of my hair between his fingers. "Er, yeah."

"You're going to let me come, aren't you?"

He looks at me sadly. "Clary, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. Especially after today."

"But I want to be there with you! Please, just let me come." I begin to rub my stomach, feeling the motion soothe me and release the anger and miserable feeling that I have bottled up inside me.

He watches as my hands draw circles on my swollen belly. He sighs, defeated. "Ok but only if you promise me one thing."

Worry seeps in. "What?"

"If I die and don't come back, keep living—for me, for the baby."