Alright so here it is! The much awaited for CHAPTER 10! Yay see I told you I wouldnt leave you hanging like that. Im not that evil. Muhaha Yet I will leave you hanging with an EVEN BIGGER cliff hanger. Much surprises wait in chapter 11 and you will be surprised, shocked, angry, happy and in tears! It will also be a bit magical. The whole surprised, shocked, angry, happy and in tears comes later in the next chapter. And the magic part mayyyy be at the beginning. You shall see so your gonna just have to keep on reading to find out! Enjoy!!~
And Review Review Review~
JustinXZeke Forever!
Go Team Justin!! :D
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jaw dropping, heart wrenching, unbelievable, inconceivable. Absolutely mind boggling. His eyes could not understand or agree with what his mind was thinking. What his eyes read from the page and what he thought originally was completely different. Could he had been really reading this? Maybe he was imagining this or he was dreaming. He pitched the skin of his arm. Nope not Dreaming. Its true. I guess it really was true. But he refused to belief it. As though that he thought it would fade right off the page in front of him, he began to read it again instinctively, this time pausing and taking in ever word in the journal, to make sure he was reading it right. Sadly he was reading it right.
He began...
Jan 5th 09
Justin kissed me today, it was...wow.
Amazing. He was such a great kisser. Even better then he was in my dreams. Anyways it was strange. At first he invites me over so I come over ten minutes early from school and drove straight away to his house to surprise him. Sure enough he would be surprised. So surprised that he actually fainted onto the ground when he heard of my early arrival. He was out for a couple of minutes, at least ten. When finally he woke up. I was so relieved. Though I didn't mind him asleep. He was so peaceful and even more so cute when he was asleep.
His face flushed with red as the blood ran to his face. Thats what happened when you got up too quickly. Once he was finally up and all his family had lost interest in his well-being, he was able to get up and talk about stuff. We talked or ranted mostly about twilight and how we adored it! Justin had just discovered it when he went to go see the movie. After that he was hooked and we "Both" started reading twilight at the same time. Though what he didn't know is that I actually had already heard of Twilight and had been a huge fan before the movie was even in existence. In fact I was already reading Eclipse when he was just starting on twilight, but I pretended to just find out about twilight too so that I could listen to Justin's cute rants and babble about it. Plus it gave me more subjects to talk to Justin about. Heck any excuse to talk to Justin would be an excellent one!
But what I didn't expect today was when Justin whispered a strange, but yet sort of sweet poem in my year. A poem that didn't have a beginning middle and end, it was more like a sweet rhyming question. I didn't really remember what the words were. Yet whatever he said, it turned on my attraction switch to full gear! I couldn't keep my hands to my self. I wanted to jump over their and pounce onto him and make him mine right their. But I had to maintain my self control as he looked all up and down my body. It was like he was eying a new desert product before he bought it. HIs tender eyes feasted upon my body, his deep smoky blue grey eyes staring into mine, both our cheeks flustered and coated with blush. And then suddenly like a magnetic forced, he pushed me into the wall and kissed me. It was the most amazing thing ever. He was a great kisser! Oh..it was so passionate. And soo great. Wow.. Like I said wow. The way he was drawn to me. It was almost like...
Magic.
Though I stopped myself. As hard as it was, I couldn't test my self control that much. I don't know what it was, whether it was just some fluke or maybe he just leaned into me too close and ...accidently pushed his lips onto mine, and accidentally slipped his tongue into my mouth and ....accidently attempted to grope me..
Hmm yeah thats....not it. Haha ok so maybe its just...a joke.
I mean wow that would be quite the lengths to go for a joke..
I don't mind I liked that joke. :3
But I don't want him to think its Ok to play with my feelings. Its not a joke. He has to know how serious I am about this. Just cause Im...gay doesnt mean that he has the right to pretend to like me and pretend that he is...gay too. No way, It doesn't work that way. Either he be gay or go back to being straight but he cant pretend to be one or the other. It just doesn't work. Sigh.. so sadly thats why I pulled away and left. I could handle being their anymore. I was afraid I would start feeling...
Hopeful..
Sigh a part of me wishes I stayed and apart of me is glad I left. Its a good way to save me from future heartache. And you know how that goes Diary, don't you.
Anyways...
Oh the phones ringing, Mom says its for me. I have no clue who it is.. Oh god I hope its not Justin. Im not sure Im ready to talk to him now...
Anyways talk to you later Diary,
Confused but still Sincerely
Zeke Cullen..
No...no slash Russo..
I think this is getting way out of hand..
*Sigh* Wait..why am I writing out my sighs?
Lol strange.
Bye Diary~
Justin closed the book. That was all that he read. Their was no more.
Justin let out a long sigh and flopped onto his bed. (Yeah the racecar one. Imagine doing...other things on there. Thats just ..it wouldn't work I mean it would be to small and just...ew no just no ew)
He had made such a mistake. So thats part of the reason why he acted that way. He was afraid he would get to hopeful and be heart broken. That I was just pretending. Well truthfully justin didn't know the extent of his love, yet although this was fairly new to him, this was the only feeling that made sense right now, and he hung onto it with dear life. Justin knew that he enjoyed that feelings, like, admiration, infatuation, love?! Whatever it was he knew that he received that feeling around Zeke and he just had to have more! It was kinda like an ...addiction.
And Zeke was his drug.
His healthy drug that is. Yet he also loved Zeke as a person. He was a great human being (thats questionable, he could always be an alien, for he never acted like real humans did. XD) and a wonderful excellent friend who was always their when he was in need..
But why was he not their right now? No matter what, he would always stick by his side. But now he thinks he can just up and walk away? No Not at all. Then again, this was all Justin's fault. If he just could of said those tiny words, then he wouldn't of walked away. In fact he would probably be here right now, wrapped up in Justin's arms, snuggling on his bed, his warm body so close to his. Ah..just the thought made justin tingle all over. His burning hot body, his red flushed cheeks and his sweet berry lips, the taste of strawberries on the tip of his tongue. Ah....
Justin thought, feeling the sensation of Zeke's lips onto his, holding his face in his hand and their hands and legs entangled in a sweet statuesc art pose, his hand intertwined into his. Zeke's body ontop of his...
He tried to relive the experience in his mind, sensing each beat of Zeke's heart and feeling each warm breath on his neck.
Justin sighed at this thought with a bitter sweet smile on his face. He stretched out his long arms and removed his t-shirt. Tossing it to the side of his bed, where it lay, waiting to be taken to the laundry room, as he reached for his Ipod Nano and turned it to the song that would just perfectly match his mood ,placed the head phones in his ears, set the nano in his jean pocket, and relaxed back onto his bed as he let the divine music lull him into a sweet beautiful daze, awaiting the wonderful dreams to come.
Dreams of him..
You had my heart, and we'll never be world apart
Maybe in magazines, but you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the dark, we can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because
When the sun shine
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath imma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)
As the words flowed softly into his ears, tears flew gently out of his eyes.
He couldn't help but struggle to hold them back, though each word struck his heart like a 6 string guitar, it was like every sentence was telling his story.
It was beautiful. And more and more no matter what he would try to focus on.
All he could think about, dream about, hear about, see, feel
Was Zeke.
Just took a deep cleansing breath as he relaxed his adjusted his position on the pillow, and turned over, to let the tears flow freely, as thought he was shamed to let anyone see his sorrow.
He clenched his lips together as he fully rested his head onto his pillow, as he let the words carry him away from where he was now. Far Far away.
A world where him and Zeke would be together..
Forever..
He held his eyes shut wishing for the sleep to finally hit him, so he could have a peaceful rest, and a break from his pain.
Justin couldn't handle another minute, and finally after the time passed for awhile, he drifted into a soft sleep as the song continued.
Fancy things, will never come in between
You're part of my entity, here for infinity
When the world has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart
Because
When the sun shine
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath imma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)
Justin was fully asleep, resting quietly, awaiting the things that the next day would bring. Still he had to forgo the pain, for just little longer. For he was determined to make it up to Zeke. Tomorrow, it would happen, he was sure that Zeke would forgive him, because he had a plan to show Zeke how much he really did care for him. His plan was absolutely brilliant, And he knew the perfect way....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yayness!
Ok so I this was not what you expected the chapter to be either, but still its good and so sweet and sad. Awhh it was so hard to write this without breaking out in tears. Awh poor justin. Oh and I got to use my one favorite songs for this chapter which was awesome! I love umbrella its so sweet and special and beautiful. My favorite is the one that Marie Digby does. Anyways like I was saying, the surprising chapter is later and Im just building up to it. Actually their might be more surprising chapters later on but you will just have to keep reading to find out.
So anyways enjoy!~
And Review Review Review!
:3