CHAPTER 9

When I wake up, I am alone once more and the spot where Jace had been is cold and empty. Tentatively, I place my bare feet onto the tiles and feel the coldness seep into my bones. Slowly, I place all of my weight onto my legs and stand.

There is no one outside when I walk out, pulling my cardigan more tightly around my body. As I travel through the hallways of the institute I become aware of voices coming from the kitchen. I peer inside and see everyone gathered around the kitchen bench, apparently trying to teach Isabelle how to cook.

Jace is standing silently a little off from everyone else, a baby in his arms and soft smirk curling up the corners of his lips. He seems to sense my presence because his gaze rises to meet mine. Pushing himself off the bench, he slowly makes his way towards me. I step outside and wait in the hallway and when he appears in front of me, I don't know what to think or say.

"Hey, you're up." he says but I don't reply, I can't reply; my eyes are set on the small bundle in his arms. Jace seems to notice because his breath hitches and he hesitates, asking me a question that I had been waiting for the eight months I had been carrying him. "Do you want to hold our son?"

It took me a few moments for me to be able to answer and even then I'm not sure what he just asked me. "Sorry?" I question.

He chuckles softly, but underneath it I can hear the nervousness. "I said: do you want to hold him?"

With a nod of my head, he cautiously offers my son—our son, to me. He fits perfectly in the crook of my elbow and when I touch his small little hand, his fingers wrap around my thumb. I gasp in amazement and delight, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes.

Guilt flows into me, almost overriding all of my emotions. How could I have left this small child? What kind of mother am I? I feel disgusted at myself and all I want to do is beat myself up for it. But I know that won't help anyone, especially not my son; I know the only thing left to do now is make a promise to myself that I will never again abandon this baby.

Jace sees the determination in my eyes and questions me, "What are you thinking?"

My gaze lifts to his and I smile softly at him. "I'm thinking that I'm never going to leave my son alone ever again. I'm thinking that I promise to make up for the lost weeks and make his life one that will be cherished to the best of my abilities."

His eyes blaze up with love as his lips crash against mine. I make a short noise of surprise and my eyes fly open, but my eyelids soon flutter closed as my heartbeat competes with Jace's. We pull away when the small bundle in my arms stirs and cries. I look up into Jace's golden eyes frantically, unsure what to do.

"I bet he's hungry." Jace whispers, his cheeks slightly red as his breathing is a little fast paced.

I glance up startled. "What?" I whisper.

Before he can answer, Simon wanders out into the hallway. "Hey, Jace, I was just sent out to find—," He stops midsentence and his gaze penetrates me. I let one of the corners of my lip twitch up in an attempt of a small smile. "Oh, hey, Clary. How are you?" He asks awkwardly.

I feel my face light up at the sight of my best friend. I feel like a new person, like I have only just woken up after one hundred years like Sleeping Beauty. "Simon!" A grin spreads across my face as I wrap my spare arm around his slim figure. Tentatively, his arms wrap around me too, careful of the baby in my arms.

Pulling away, I smile up at him and he smiles back. I turn back towards Jace as I get a whiff of the smell that is wafting out from the kitchen and say, "I'm hungry."

He chuckles and wraps an arm around my waist. "I'm not surprised. You haven't really eaten anything lately. Maybe after or before you have eaten, you can learn to feed him."

"What are we going to call him, Jace?" He just shrugs and as we're pushing through the doors into the kitchen, one comes to me. "What about Christopher?"

I see his eyes light up a little at the suggestion but all he says is, "Let's talk about it later, but for now let's just get some food into you and our son."

A round of greetings and applause echoes around the kitchen as someone catches sight of us—which I suspect is Isabelle—walking through.

Suddenly I feel kind of trapped and scared, everyone is talking at me and I feel like a deer in headlights. I feel the pressure of someone's hand in my free one and look down to see Jace's hand squeeze mine lightly. Everyone is hugging me and talking to me. That's when I see my mother standing a little away from the crowd. Jace takes our son from me and pushes me gently in her direction. I can see her eyes well up with tears and feel my own do the same at the sight of her.

"Mum…" I whisper softly, I'm not sure if she heard me but she smiles and engulfs me in an embrace, squeezing me tightly as if she's afraid that if she lets go, I'll disappear again. "Oh, Clary… you scared me to death."

"I'm sorry." I say into her shoulder, letting the tears flow more freely. "Will you teach me how to look after your grandson?" I ask as I pull away. A strong, warm arm wraps around my waist and I automatically know it's my Jace because I lean into him and tilt my face up with my eyes closed and my lips slightly perked. He leans down and brushes his lips against mine.

My mother is crying with small hiccups and she is nodding her head enthusiastically. "Of course I will, Clary." And then her lips twitch up in a sheepish smile. "As long as I'm not called Grandma, I'm too young to be a grandmother." We all laugh at that and then I'm being taught to breastfeed my son while the men wait out in the hallway. Once the boys are allowed back in we settle down for the food that Isabelle cooked, which surprisingly doesn't taste that bad. But I suspect it's all thanks to the other women that were in the kitchen.

Jace sits beside me and places a kiss on my cheek. "And by the way," he whispers into my ear. "I love Christopher."

I turn to him eyes wide, a big grin on my face. "Really?"

He nods, smiling at my reaction. "And what about Luke as the middle name?"

"I love it." I stand up and everyone stops their conversation, all of their attention on me. "Everyone, Jace and I have an announcement." I say loudly, so that my voice carries over everyone. "We would like you to meet the newest member of the Herondale family… Christopher Luke Herondale." Everyone applauds and cheers and I see Luke, who is sitting next to Jocelyn smile softly at me and I can't help but smile back.

"He's having my surname?"

I turn to him, kissing him lightly on the lips. "Do you mind?"

He shakes his head. "Not at all… in fact, I was going to ask you this sooner or later." He says, pulling out a velvet box from his leather jacket pocket and gets down on one knee in front of me. I can't help but gasp. "Clarissa Fray, will you marry me?"