Chapter 6 - For Dessert, We Have Cake and Frogs.

Getting to know the author. I read through one-and-a-half Twilight books before I gave up on it. My verdict: needs more Belmont. I have nothing against fans of the story, but I just don't get the appeal. Now, finally, another long overdue chapter wherein some shmucks keep dying.

"Squishy! Squishy!" the green shirted grown man laughed as he kept running up and down the stairs. This particular flight was littered with bags of unknown contents. Tobuscus didn't care what was inside or even for the putrid stench that made the rest of the group sprint to the third floor. His fun was halted by an annoyed shih-tzu.

"Whenever you're done, we'd like to get a move on." Gryphon called out from the top of the flight.

"Hey!" Tobuscus replied in defiance. "I have spent enough time as a murder victim today! I think I've earned a little fun!"

"You really don't smell that?" Viola chimed in. "That's enough to kill a guy!"

"Smell wha- oh, God!" Tobuscus gagged as his brain paused to register the odor that filled the room. He ran upstairs and into the third floor in hopes of making his overwhelming urge to puke subside. Unfortunately, he couldn't hold it in. Naturally, most of the vomit wound up on-

"Gabuscus! I'm so sorry!" Tobuscus was on his knees, pleading for his life.

"Of all the places you could have throw up," the purple shirted man was unusually calm. "you chose to run over to me and share the pancake tacos you had for breakfast mama bird-style." He wiped the puke from his face. "Gryphon. Save, please."

"Save?" Gryphon wanted to confirm.

"Save."

"Saved."

"Thanks! Now to get cleaned off the way nature intended: by respawn." Gabuscus kept his cool, which disturbed his friend. "Tobuscus, can you check that out? I'll be right back." He pointed to the candelabra on the stone wall. It sat opposite of the next doorway. There was blood splattered underneath the candelabra.

"Okay." Tobuscus complied, relieved that he wasn't going to be punished for the vomit. He examined the blood and was shocked by what he saw. "Hey!" he called out to the others. "Is it just me, or is the blood fre- GAH!"

Before he could react, Gabuscus came flying in backwards from the other room, crushing and impaling him against the wall with a rather large sword.

"Fresh?" Gabuscus asked with his last breath before both of their bodies vanished.

Upon respawning, Tobuscus continued the conversation. "Yeah! It seems like someone was just killed here. Hmmm..." He scratched his chin in thought.

"That would be my blood." said Gabuscus, who appeared satisfied with his new puke free body. "A sword came out of nowhere and pinned me there while you were playing around on the stairs. Just follow my lead in this next hall."

They ran into the hallway. Just in time, Gabuscus pushed Tobuscus out of the way of an oncoming sword. Once they recollected themselves, they sprinted toward the other side. Tobuscus heard three swords being shot at them from behind. In a rare act of quick thinking, he tackled Gabuscus. The larger man's anger turned into relief once he saw the swords pass overhead. They made another dash for the door after getting back up. This time, the pair made it through with no other obstacles.

"Yes!" they both shouted before sharing a triumphant bro hug. The moment was cut off by Cuddlecutie.

"Um...congratulations?" The black cat's sarcasm broke the hug. "We're still stuck in this hellhole."

"Wait!" Tobuscus demanded after seeing Viola and the house pets safely on this side of the sword-filled hallway. "How did you guys get over here?"

"Those blades were thrown way over our heads." Gryphon replied on Cuddlecutie's behalf.

"I was just careful." Viola replied. "Sorry that I'm not as into the whole dying thing as you guys are. What are you doing?"

Tobuscus found more bags to squish. "Squishy! Squishy! Squishy! Squishy! Squishy! Squishy!" Everyone else watched in mild irritation for about a minute until he lost his footing and fell over. He somehow tore the bag open on the way down, spilling its contents.

The two men and the dog had the same reaction. "Ewww!" they all said in unison as the source of that foul smell was revealed: dead cats. What's more was that they all looked exactly like Cuddlecutie.

"Gah! Not again!" Tobuscus cried out as he tried to keep his gag reflexes under control. He followed his instincts, then was promptly corrected.

"No! Not on me, dumbass!" Gabuscus directed his friend to a pit at the opposite end of the room. As soon as he got it out of his system, Tobuscus made an observation.

"Why does the third floor of this house seem like a dungeon?" he asked, pointing out the gray stone walls that surrounded the room.

"Good question." answered Gabuscus. "Now that I think about it, this whole house is a giant dungeon. It's only now that it's starting to look the part. Ugh! This door's locked."

The southeast door was indeed locked. Viola, who was standing at the pit where Tobuscus upchucked, noticed something: a narrow walkway leading to a lever at the other side of the pit. It was about twenty feet away. This prompted her to joke around a bit.

"Hmmm..." she appeared to be lost in thought. "There's a locked door. Over there is a lever. Hmmm...door. Lever. Door. Lever. Door. Lever. I wonder if they're related some-"

"I think we've already figured out that much." Gryphon cut her off. "Since the cat and I are save points, we're too important to try and cross that tiny bridge."

"And we're not!?" Gabuscus argued.

"You have no idea how expendable you are." Cuddlecutie replied. "Every time you die, another you appears. The witch's magic is gonna keep bringing you two back until we confront her."

"Hold on. You just said us two." Tobuscus joined in, getting a nod of approval from his bulky friend. "What about Viola? Doesn't she get the power of Tails as well?"

"What!?" Viola reacted in disgust. "Why would you even think that? I'm just a girl! It's like you want me to die just to answer your dumb question!"

"No! It's not like that at all!" rebuked Gabuscus.

"Yeah!" added Tobuscus. "We're just curious as to what makes you so special that you're immune from dying along with us."

Cuddlecutie jumped on his shoulder and answered him. "Remember that she was once friends with this witch. Ellen tried to kill her once already for her own selfish reasons. Who's to say that she won't just kill Viola once and be done with it? Do you want to risk the life of a thirteen year old girl out of what, jealousy that she has yet to die!?" This caused Gryphon to roll his eyes.

"We get it! We're sorry!" Gabuscus conceded. "Sorry, Viola. We didn't think about how difficult this situation must be for you. We promise that we won't do anything to put you at risk."

Viola smiled upon hearing this, then surprised everyone with her response. "Can you save our progress, Gryphon? I'd like to try out that room myself. I think it's unlocked." She pointed to the west door.

"No!" yelled Cuddlecutie.

"It's been saved." Gryphon informed her. "What's making you want to do this?"

"Just curious. While I'm in there, maybe you'll find a way to get that lever." With that, she took off toward the door.

"Get back here, dammit!" called the cat as he ran after her.

The Buscuses and the shih-tzu stared blankly at where the cat and girl once stood. After about fifteen seconds, they turned their attention to the lever.

Gryphon broke the silence. "The bridge looks unreliable. I wouldn't try it if I were you. So...any ideas?"

Meanwhile, in the unlocked room, Viola and Cuddlecutie found themselves surrounded by the familiar stone walls. The only things in this room were a sign on the north wall, a small square pond, and a frog sitting patiently on a lily pad.

"What the hell was that?" demanded Cuddlecutie.

Ellen answered as she went to read the sign. "As I said, I'm curious. Do you like frogs?"

"What?"

"The sign asked if I like frogs. They're okay, I guess. I don't hate them." she walked around to the south edge of the pond, where the frog was facing.

"You're avoiding the subject, as always. Why would you risk throwing away the life you wanted because of what those idiots said?"

"It's what all of you said." Ellen extended her hand out to the frog, who pondered whether or not to trust her. "If Viola has control over my power, would she really kill me off as an act of revenge? She should know that she needs her original body back or she would die along with me."

"So she's just scaring you? No, not that." Cuddlecutie had an epiphany. "She's forcing you to confront her!"

"Not only that, but she's relying on those three to help her out when that happens. This is bad." The frog picked up on Ellen's fear and jumped into her hand in hopes of comforting her. "Okay, we can just say that the witch wants me alive to take my body."

"We've already mentioned that."

"Then we need to tell them that's she's killing them for fun."

"No. Your lies have been shaky at best. We can't afford any more slip ups like before."

"Then they need to be convinced. I'll have to die."

Cuddlecutie purred and rubbed up against Ellen's leg. "Are you sure about this?"

Ellen put the frog on her shoulder and picked up the cat. "It's okay. She's like me in a way. Viola wants to survive this ordeal, just like me. She won't ruin the one healthy body we're fighting for."

"And if you're wrong?"

"Our secret would die with us. You would still win your bet with the dog, right?"

Cuddlecutie nodded and rubbed his head past Ellen's face. "Smart girl. Either way, your soul is free. Gryphon can only win if Viola gets her body back, so you'd ruin him if you stay dead. Okay, I'm in."

"Too bad this room had nothing dangerous in it. *Gulp* Looks like I'm gonna fall down that pit." Ellen took a deep breath before heading back out toward the guys. The scene was just as she'd imagine: no progress has been made on the lever along with the men respawning for what she figured was the twentieth time.

"How was your little experiment?" Gryphon greeted the two. "Since you never respawned out here, I take it you chickened out?"

Viola smiled. "The only thing in that room was my new friend here." She titled her head toward the frog. "What's the status on the lever?"

They watched as Gabuscus got on all fours next to the pit. Tobuscus then came running in. He used his friend as a stepping stone and leapt really far. Too far, in fact. His body planted itself on the wall just above the lever.

"Grab the lever!" Gabuscus yelled. His command fell on dead ears as a limp Tobuscus body peeled off the wall and fell down the pit.

Gryphon turned back toward Viola. "That was their best attempt so far. So far, we know it's out of each of their jumping ranges, Gabuscus can't throw Tobuscus that far, the bridge can't support either of them, it's out of my peeing range, and now we learned that we can overjump our target."

Gabuscus joined the group with a smile. "At least he didn't accidentally kick me off this time."

"Yeah...accidentally." The fortieth-ish reincarnation of Tobuscus said.

"Actually, I'm glad you guys failed." Viola kept her smile while setting the cat and frog on the ground. "It's time for answers. Save."

"Done." said Gryphon.

Viola looked down into the pit and took another deep breath.

"You don't have to do this, Viola." Cuddlecutie weakly protested. He sounded defeated.

Viola looked back and smiled, then turned toward the walkway. She took one very nervous step on. Once she felt comfortable enough, she took another step, putting her entire weight on the thin walkway. About halfway through, she breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she didn't need to die en route to her eventual confrontation. On the next step, however, the bridge gave way, sending Viola to her death.

The rest of the crew looked on, stunned, as the bridge reappeared. It only took a moment, but it felt like forever before the blonde respawned in the exact spot where she saved.

"It worked!" she cheered as she hugged the men. "She wants me alive! I can't die here!"She began to shed a few tears.

"Okay." Tobuscus said as they left their hug. "What does that mean? She wants you alive, and that's great, but what's that mean for us?"

"Maybe it's just for her amusement. Wrong place, wrong time, I guess. I mean, she has lived a miserable life. Maybe she plans to keep you alive until the last moment. Maybe she wants to live a normal life with my body. There's still so much I don't know. What I do know is that this means I'll eventually have to meet her again. All our questions will be answered then. Hey! Where's the frog?"

Everyone looked toward the lever to see that the frog made it across. Their tiny friend hopped onto the lever, pushing it down and unlocking the east door.

"Wonderful." Gabuscus said dryly. "On top of all our deaths, we've been outdone by a frog."

Tobuscus had the opposite reaction. "Yay! You did it!" He picked the frog up and spun it around. "Who's a good froggy? You are! You're a good froggy woggy!"

"Tobuscus." Viola called out, holding out her hands. Tobuscus sighed and handed the frog to her.

"You're no fun." he pouted. As he turned toward the newly unlocked door, "AAAAAAHH! WHAT THE HELLEN, ELL!" Another apparition of Ellen suddenly appeared about a foot from his face.

"Relax, you baby." Gryphon ordered. "We already established that the apparition can't hurt you."

Upon saying that, the dog led the rest into the next room. There were many things in this room, including a another locked door opposite the way they entered. While the room was a welcome change from the dungeon look, there were just too many objects here to make sense of anything. Tobuscus found a note in the northwest corner.

"Make a mirror image." he read. Looking around the room, everyone noticed that two other walls jutted out from the north and south walls, dividing the room into two halves. Looking from the center, they could see that, aside from a few differences, the halves were nearly mirrored already.

They began a boring, uneventful, gonna-lead-to-a-predictable-and-not-funny-at-all-cake-gag rearranging of the room. A plant got moved around. A misplaced rose was put into it's proper vase. Shelves of cans and dishes were arranged symmetrically. The frog was placed on a chair to mirror a stuffed frog. Two pictures were set to mirror each other. After only a few minutes, only two objects remained a mystery. The note itself was only on the west half of the room and would not come off the wall. Also, on the west table sat one piece of strawberry shortcake.

"Where's the other slice?" asked Cuddlecutie. "There's got to be more than one here."

"Unless..." Gryphon began.

"Unless?"

"We're supposed to eat it!" Viola exclaimed happily. She already had a fork out. No one bothered to question this.

"I don't see why not." Tobuscus agreed. "None for me, though. I already had a piece."

"When?" Gabuscus demanded. "Where?"

"Okay, if we're gonna play this game, then the 'who' is me. A piece of cake I found in that small china cabinet about five minutes ago is the 'what'. 'When' would be about five minutes ago. 'Where' is the small china cabinet here where the room is split in half. Why? Because all that puking and dying worked up an appetite. Finally, if you must know 'how', it was with my mouth. There, are we all good now?"

After about ten seconds of silence, all Gabuscus could say was "What?"

"The piece of cake" Tobuscus replied. "I believe I already answered that, Gabuscus. Please try to keep up."

Cuddlecutie was angry. "So the reason you took your time with the little cabinet was to eat cake!?"

"Of course! I'm kinda surprised no one noticed. I mean, I was in the dead center of the room with not a lot of space to hide my snacking." Tobuscus kept a mischievous smirk throughout this conversation.

"We should be fine." Viola said. "All we have to do is eat the other one and we're good to go, right?"

Tobuscus began walking toward the sign. "Right...or rather, you would had this not all been an elaborate ruse slash guilt trip to keep your attention focused on me while Gryphon has the other slice all to himself." He then tore the sign off the wall. A clicking sound confirmed this most devastating news to Viola's ears. Gabuscus and Cuddlecutie were just relieved that they could progress.

"You ass!" She cried. "You're gonna deny this sweet little kid some cake!? I hope the witch burns you first!"

"Woah there, lady!" Gabuscus held her fork arm to save Tobuscus from her girly wrath. "It's only cake. Tell you what. When we get out of here, I'll bake you a cake myself. How's that sound?"

"Oh!" Tobuscus added. "Gabuscus makes the best cakes. This one time, for my 21st birthday, he baked these-"

Gabuscus held the blabbermouth's mouth shut. "Yeah, maybe a simple soft strawberry cake that you can enjoy without calling your best friend from three states over the next morning crying in your underwear that you had no idea that the Delorean you stole a few hours prior couldn't fly. You cannot keep blaming my cake for that!" Gabuscus was fuming at that culprit of the aforementioned actions.

"Chill, Gabuscus. I survived and you eventually paid off all the damages. Nothing to hold a grudge over."

"One, don't end your sentences with prepositions. Also-"

"So you can rant in run-on sentences and I can't end my sentences with..." Tobuscus rolled his eyes. "You hypocrite."

"Yesterday!" Gabuscus snapped. "Over seven years of cleaning up your mess and I just finished paying all off yesterday!"

"Now look who's ending his sentences with prepositions."

"Yesterday is NOT a preposition!"

"My mother and my father didn't love me," Gryphon began loudly in order to end their squabble. "so I X them. I've been in this house ever since."

"Huh?" the men asked in unison. They had not realized that they where already in the next room. It took them a few seconds to notice that Gryphon read another diary entry from a plain, yet pleasant looking desk over in the northeast corner of the small room. Gabuscus read the note posted on the north wall.

"Through the next door and let nothing distract you. So we just run straight?"

"Yep." Gryphon replied.

"I take it you, Viola, and the cat already made it through?"

"Save, please?"

"Sure."

The guys ran started running straight ahead for a good few steps. A sword flew right at them, scaring them into sidestepping. They suddenly found themselves in a darker dungeon-esque room with no doors. Blood from many victims was spread out throughout the area. The pair sighed in disappointed unison.

"Tobuscus?"

"Yeah?"

"We let the first thing we saw distract us, didn't we?"

"Yep. We su-"

Tobuscus' lament was cut short by a giant boulder crushing them.

Upon respawning, they agreed to just run in with their eyes closed. This worked - for Gabuscus. As soon as he entered the next room and found the others waiting on him, he knew something was up.

"He opened his eyes too early, didn't he?"

"Probably." Cuddlecutie answered. "Anyway, we have our own dilemma here. Check this out. He's hungry." he pawed at the note on the center of yet another dungeon-like room as he read it.

"Who's hungry?" asked a sprinting Tobuscus as he flew in too fast to avoid crashing into the south wall. "Save it, Gryphon!" he commanded as he fell to the floor unconscious.

"Look through this door and find out." the cat answered, walking to the west wall. "Whatever that thing is wants to eat something." He then gave Viola a cold look. "As heartbreaking as it is, we all know what needs to be done."

A loud, powerful smash from the other side of the door caused Gabuscus to leap to the clear opposite side of the room.

"AAAAAHHH! GIVE IT THE DAMN FROG ALREADY, VIOLA!" he yelled in falsetto.

"Ow!" the cat winced in pain. "Try to be less of a chick next time something scares your balls off, Gaybus! The snake can't hurt us in this room."

Gabuscus was too busy hyperventilating to notice the start of a running gag that will grossly overstay its welcome. When he finally regained his composure, Tobuscus, who had just come to, had an idea. It all started with gaining the frog's trust.

"Is that the good froggy I see?" he asked the frog, who managed to wrestle its way out of Viola's protective grasp and hopped over to the fun human. The poor creature had no clue that Tobuscus was spinning him around toward the door. Before he knew what was going on...

SLAM! The frog was forced through a peephole in the door. The gentle amphibian was now trembling in sheer horror as he looked into the eyes of a giant snake. It was large enough to consume any of those humans in one bite. For now, though, this frog would do. Those glowing red eyes would be the very last image the frog would see.

"Is he g-g-g-g-gone?" asked a nervous Gabuscus.

"Looks like it." Tobuscus stated as he opened the door slightly to check. "Yep. No more man eating snake."

"Hmmm...looks like Twobuscuits is on the ball for once." Cuddlecutie's backhanded compliment drew a quick glance of disapproval from it's recipient. After a quick awkward moment, everyone walked cautiously into the room where the snake once roamed.

This room had a nasty combination of all the worst rooms on this floor. It was dark, dank, slimy from the snake moving all around, and had a huge hole in its north wall where it was safe it assume the snake entered and exited. The smell, while not as disgusting as all the dead cats, was still intolerable.

As everyone quickly exited through the south door, Tobuscus could have sworn he saw the frog's ghost. After he closed the door behind him, he decided to check back to see if he's mind was playing tricks on him. Boy, was he right.

Some strange red glowing substance covered the entire room from wall to wall. Was it ectoplasm? Brains? Ooze? Toxic superpower-granting chemicals? This really didn't scare him as much as it weirded him out. As tempting as it was to take a chance on finally being able to shoot seduction lasers from his eyes, Tobuscus decided not to risk his health for something that wasn't even guaranteed. He shut the door once again.

"What were you just doing?" Gabuscus asked the door just closed.

"Gabuscus, you gotta see this!" Tobuscus opened the door once more.

"Yep, we were totally just in that room." Gabuscus stated. This caused Tobuscus to look back into the room. All the red stuff had vanished. Was he really going mad?

"But! The..." he whined. "Red stuff. Everywhere. It was just here and now-" his voiced trailed off to something inaudible. Gabuscus facepalmed.

"Are you still trying to get that seduction laser eye power? For the last time, Cyclops' laser is deadly and his personality got him and Jean together. Can you give it up already."

After another minute of mumbling nonsense, Tobuscus dragged his feet away ftom the snake room and down a corridor lined on one side with cat statues. Poor guy didn't even react to any of their movements. Everyone was waiting for him at the end by a door. Viola had taken the liberty of saving. Confused and slightly upset, Tobuscus led the gang through the door and to the stairs lead up yet another floor.

How will our heroes survive this next slew of challenges? Will anyone else get any cake? Will Tobuscus ever get the seduction laser eye power he always wanted? Will TheLegHairSongJr IV write one of these when he's not dead tired? And how will he write himself out of these plotholes? Find out next time when I feel motivated to write another chapter.