A/N: Hey people I'm sorry it took so long. I had school and work and life getting in the way. With that said I'm wrapping it up. Thanks for the support you guys have shown. It gave me life :). I hope its not too horrible :/
Song used is by Daughter - Youth
TORI POV
3 weeks. It's been 3 weeks since I last seen Jade. I really fucked up. God how could I be stupid. I was currently sitting down at table in the club Jade took me to on my birthday. I had to shell out a quite a bit just to get this spot. I can't believe she spent this much to make my day special. I was lost in thought and absently twirling the necklace she gave me. I must say that was the second best day of my entire life my first being our love making of course. I remember everything like it was yesterday…
Flashback
"Is this where we are going?"
"Yeah…this is ok right? I mean if not we can leave and…"
"No Jade this is great. I'm so excited!"
"Alright then" I'm looking at the small table sitting in the middle of our booth with a purple and white cake sitting on it as well as a bottle of champagne with two flutes. I was surprised to say the least that she would go to this much trouble for me. I remember when she first kissed me butterflies exploded inside of me. I felt like if she wasn't holding me right there I would've floated away. That's when I really fell in love with her.
End Flashback
I smiled at the memory. I left the club shortly after and headed back to Robbie's. The memories never die anyways. I try to keep the bad ones at bay but when darkness falls and I'm alone in my room, they slowly creep in. The one that haunts me the most is when I told Jade to leave. The look in her eyes breaks me every single time. I broke her heart and she may never forgive me for it which in turn breaks mine but I deserve it. She hates me. I know she does. I've been trying to contact her since the day I stood up to my parents but all I get is her voicemail. I asked Robbie to have Beck tell Jade that I would like to speak with her but from what Beck told me when he heard from her she doesn't want to talk to me. She pretty much disengaged herself from everyone because of me & I must admit I'm feeling shitty about it and I'm worried about her.
I'm lying on my bed staring at the ceiling like it could give me the answers to fix my problems. Why? It's the only question that goes through my head anymore. Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I just go with Jade? Why didn't I tell Jade I love her? Why did I feel the need to remain under my parents' abuse? Why couldn't my sister still be here? I can't come up with an answer for any of the questions.
I grab my IPOD next to me and put it on shuffle. Music has been helping me these past few weeks when my thoughts became too overwhelming. A song I forgot I even had started to play. My vision started to get blurry as the words hit home
And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one,
'Cause most of us are bitter over someone.
Setting fire to our insides for fun,
To distract our hearts from ever missing them.
But I'm forever missing him.
Tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. "Her. I'm forever missing her" I closed my eyes and cried myself intoa fitful sleep. I woke up the next morning with a killer headache. I got up and made my way to the bathroom to find some painkillers. Once I located them I took a few and went back to sleep. I'm still not ready to face the world yet. I woke up several hours later to complete darkness. I took a shower, brushed my teeth & got dressed. I went downstairs to find the house completely empty. I picked up my jacket to go for a drive. I decided to drive by Jades' place in the hopes of her being there so I can talk to her. I pulled up to her house 10 minutes later. I got out the car and looked around the house but no sign of her here. I walked back to my car and decided to drive to the local coffee shop. I arrived at my destination a short while later and parked on the side of the street. I was about to head into the shop when I heard a familiar singing voice coming from the little arts café. My heart went into overdrive at the thought of it actually being her and seeing her after so long. I slowly made my way into the café and stood next to the doorway. There she was sitting in the middle of the room looking as beautiful as ever but also sad. I listened to her perform this song I have never heard before but at the same time I can't help but think that this song is about me. I wanted to run up to her and hold her tight & tell her that we'll be ok and that I love her and I choose her over everyone. I didn't want to see her hurt anymore. I wanted to tell her that walking away from her was one of the most difficult things I've had to do and I guess it has to be now since she's already walking in this direction. Should I wait outside? Should I stay put? Is she gonna be mad? Well too late now as she now notices me standing by the doorway…and she's not moving. Great. I walk towards her slowly until I'm standing in front of her. Her eyes are slightly puffy and her cheeks are flushed. I just want to caress her face 'not now Tori.'
"Jade…I" I didn't even get to finish my sentence before me moved me out the way and walked hastily to the door. I ran after her.
"Jade please wait. I'm sorry. I really am. If you could just give me a chance to explain." I reached out and grabbed her arm and turned her around to face me. Any other time this moment would've been so sexy the way her body brushed against mines but again not the time.
"Please just let me talk to you…" I begged her.
"Why Tori? So you can tear me down some more? Haven't you done enough? Am I not battered enough for you? You made it very fucking clear where I stand with you when you left me high and dry &…"
"Will you shut the hell up?" I sighed in frustration. She is not going to make this easy not that I really expected it to be.
"Jade I didn't mean to hurt you. I did what I did because I thought I was protecting you from my family. He can be very ruthless if he wants to & I couldn't bear it if he hurt you in some way." I chuckled humorlessly and continued. "You know they weren't always like they are now. You'd be totally surprised. My sister Trina died a few years ago and she died because of me. We were walking on a narrow street and we were talking about crushes and she figured that I had a crush on this girl that I use to go to school with and she was teasing me about it not in a bad way. We were joking about it and play pushing each other. I didn't see the car or hear the car coming. I pushed her and…"I took a few deeps breaths and chocked back the sobs. "I pushed her and... well she got run over. I was so devastated and guilt ridden. My parents were completely devastated about it. I've never seen them so broken and all I could think of was that I caused this pain. I did this to them. This is why I stayed with my parents through everything; the abuse the restrictions, everything. I felt like I could make it up in some way to them for her dying if I stayed. After I left you and went back I told my parents what happened after they made me clean the mess up and of course my father insinuated that I threw myself at that asshole & I should drop the charges and let him go followed by him calling you an abomination. I had enough at that point and I pretty much told him off and left. I tried calling you but I can understand you didn't want to hear from me at that time but I'm here now Jade. I'm really here now. I want to be in your life in whichever way you want me. Even if it's only as a friend I can accept that because not having you in it at all is far worse. I love you Jade and I just want to make you happy." I glanced at her face and I can't read her expression. I'm starting to get really worried. Maybe I'm too late. Maybe she doesn't love me anymore. Tears slowly pooled in my eyes at that last thought. She hasn't said word or made a move since I stopped her. Seconds passed. Silence. Minutes passed.
"Jade can you please say something. Your silence & stillness is kinda freaking me out." I look at her expectantly.
Jade POV
She said she loves me. I want to believe her I really do. God why do I have to be so stubborn? Maybe she really means it. I mean I can't be too harsh on her it's not like she cheated on me or anything. I mean if I hadn't been difficult I would've heard her out when she asked. She's been staying with Robbie so maybe she's free from the assholes she calls parents. I wish I could punch her father in the face. She's so beautiful. I just want to hold her but she really broke my heart. What if she does it again? I don't know if I can do this to myself. If love was easy it wouldn't be worth it right? Damn my thoughts are seriously bipolar right now. I should probably say something to her but where to start?
"Tori…I'm sorry about your sister I know that must've been hard for you to deal with but I'm not sure right now about this. I let you in like I've never let anyone in & you hurt me and it's probably the worst pain I've ever felt…like I haven't given birth but I'll put it up there cuz I heard that's pretty painful.
"I know I did and I'll do my damndest to not hurt you again. I'll never put anyone above you. You are my everything Jade." Ok she's telling the truth. I can always tell when I look in her eyes. I guess I should just take it slow. I wonder if I should tell her about the girl…nope. She's not built for that. Nothing really happened anyways.
"Would you like to go get some coffee?" I asked her with a slight smirk gracing my face. I swear her face lit up like a 1000 watt bulb. She jumped on me and embraced me.
"Whoa there Vega I said coffee not…" she put her finger on my lips.
"I'd love some coffee" she grinned. I chuckled and turned towards the coffee shop with Vega in tow. I never gave much thought as to how I wanted my life to be but I thank whatever good forces out there for sending me her.