Warm rays of sunshine was the first thing she noticed when the surrounding darkness finally slipped away. Not sure where or even what she was, her eyes quietly drank in everything they got hold of. Apparantly she was lying in a bed, though not the same one she was in mere moments before.

Was she dead?

Lily wondered how strangley soothing the whole atmosphere was. She always considered death to be more painful. More final. More something.

Slowly she raised her hand and noticed her wand lying right next to her. 'Strange', her eyes narrowed while she examined the familiar object, 'is there magic when one is dead?' Without realising her thoughts she tested the first spell that came into her mind. The quiet flow of magic followed her body into the tip of the wand and the room – Hogwarts infirmary she noted – filled with music. A soft lullaby.

'Harry.'

Lily wanted to scream, to fight, to inquire after James and to hold Harry in her arms. Had her boy known she loved him? Did she even tell him? Unconsciously she knew that she had done so, countless times, but in that exact moment she couldn't remember. If she was truly dead, what kind of mother was she? Harry was not to blame; he was after all an innocent child. He needed her but more importantly she needed him as well.

The soothing melody reached its conclusion and the room fell silent once more.

Lily hadn't moved. She certainly wanted to but the events leading up to her being in this bed were draining her ability to think straight. There was laughter, an unfamiliar noise outside, James terrifying scream, a demand to step aside, a green light and finally Mary's face. Somehow she had missed something. Had Dumbledore found and brought her back to Hogwarts? Was all of this some bizarre dream with no way of waking up?

Confused she gripped her wand and lowered the tip to the white underside of her arm. 'Incendio.' The small flame kissed her skin and she felt the rising pain dance over her. Quickly she cancelled the spell and curled up into a ball, wishing to understand this situation, battling the confusion and chasing the fear away. A soft wimpering cry then called the attention of somebody else in the room.

"Oh dear.", Pomfrey pushed past the curtains and blankets in order to examine the damage, "Miss Evans, I didn't realise you are awake." The parton quickly grapped her patient's wand and placed it onto the nearby table. With a scornful eye she studied the angry red flesh and deemed it to be no immediate damage. "How are you feeling?"

Lily raised her head in confusion. Evans? What sort of sick joke was that. Everyone had surely known that she had been married for about more than two years now. Luckily the anger didn't translate onto her facial features, instead the everlasting confusion was all Pomfrey could notice.

"What… what happened?"

The nurse forcefully closed her lips and answered in a professional, yet still gentle manner: "Your roommate, Miss MacDonald, brought you in. You were physically quite exhausted and your magic was in deep turmoil. Other than that you are fine and if you stay one more night, I can monitor your condition. Afterwards, you are free to leave and rejoin your classmates. Though maybe you should cut back from too demanding studies. I'm sure the professors will understand."

She nodded once as if to asure herself she had told her patient all there was to know and took a step back. "If you would rest for a minute, I'll be right back with some Strengthening Solution."

…

Magic was sometimes still as fascinating and mind-bogling as it had been the first time she'd experienced it. Maybe the Strenghtening Solution had been laced with some Wit-Sharpening Potion but even if that had not been the case, Lily certainly felt more open-minded, calmer and, indeed, stronger.

During the last two hours, her whole world had turned up-side down. The calender was displaying a diffenrent date, the books and clothes she carried were all exactly like they had been when she'd still been enrolled as a student. Heck, her features looked younger and not yet as well formed as they had been mere moments before. Or, she disdainly thought, as they would be years in the future. Was that possible? Had she indeed somehow been thrown back in time?

After analysing the weird flow of events, it sure proved to be a solution. Reasonable and oddly stupid at the same time. It sure explained the way she had been addressed. Evans. Mary's young face and her, in fact, authentic behaviour were also no longer a mystery.

'My own body even.', Lily caressed the soft skin above her belly, 'it certainly shows no signs of pregnancy.' Her skin was smooth, her breasts small and firm and her face was graced with two obnoxious pimples no one but her would notice, that bothered her nonetheless. All in all, it really appered to be, her glance fell once more opun the calender in her bag, March 23rd 1975. She was in the middle of her forth year at Hogwarts, alive, with memories from the future and utterly clueless what she should do about it.

…

The day quickly passed by and the noises outside the hopital wing grew immensly. 'Classes must have finished for today', even if one simply accepts such a bizarre situation, Lily didn't know how she should face her friends. Would they notice, what if she was dreaming, crazy or somehow still dead? Was this some sort of perverted test? Would Mary, who was always very straightforward but also caught up in details, see straight through her? What about James?

When her thoughts circled around her former, or future, husband, she felt her heart tighten. He wouldn't remember her, or Harry. But, her inner Gryffindor loudly proclaimed, she could quarantee their survival. Maybe this was a chance to relive and redo her failure. 'Yes.', she could safe her family and she definitely wouldn't fail a second time, 'Be brave!'

Unfortunately her reinforcing and selfproclaiming thoughts swiftly shattered into a thousand pieces of doubt and disbelief when she was confronted with a face she hadn't seen in years. A very familiar one.

"Um? How are you feeling, Lily?", clutching several books and tons of parchment a nervous and disorderd figure stepped close to her bed, "I brought you my notes from Potions and Runes. Lucky for you, Slughorn didn't asign the essay about frog liver and postponed it due to his, and I quote, most exceptionally beautiful brewer unfairly rotting in a hospital bed."

Amazingly he managed to balance his books while sitting down next to said bed and mimicing their professor.

Lily on the other hand, could only stare at how real and familiar this person looked. At the same time she scolded herself for not remembering that she had once been close to this nervous boy in hand-me down robes that looked pathetic and earnest all at once. Dark, slimy and most certainly a force for evil, a Deatheater, in her time but in her forth year she had still been friends with Severus Snape. And until now she had completely forgotton.

"Lily", seeing his friend staring wide-eyed at him, he lost control of his unearthly balancing fight and dropped the bundle onto his lap, "are-are you alright?"

Her greeen eyes met his, a strange shade of deep blackish grey or maybe brown, and she felt stupid and lonely once more. There was confusion and worry in this dark features and it reminded her again how real this all was.

…

A/N: Slow update is slow but again I try my best. I like Lily but I really want to show her not perfect as she always struck me that way. And I hope I could portray her that way. Until next time. :)