~Boat Ride

"Carroll, I need across the lake." Valera pulled down the cloth covering the bottom half of her face while she flicked her bangs out of her face, her bicolored eyes exposed for identity.

"Val!" Carroll stiffened as he recognized her face. "I-I cant! I have strict orders not to let anyone pass! Besides weren't you on the hunt for Anders? Where is he? Have you finally failed to capture him?"

Valera frowned. Something didn't smell right. Carroll wasn't the normal ferryman, in fact the templars didn't actually push the boat across the lake, a nearby village man was in charge of that duty.

"That's none of your concern!" Valera snapped. The fact that Anders had actually evaded her capture had the templar woman on edge. He had managed to leave the country this time and Valera needed explicit permission from Greigor before heading that far. Technically, Anders was under the Amaranthian Templar's jurisdiction now and she need permission to continue her hunt. "I need to speak with Greigor NOW!"

"No! I can't!" Carroll shifted uneasily as Valera entered his personal space. She may have been a good two heads shorter, but the little woman exuded power and the lesser templar cowered from her. "Greigor said to not allow anyone across the lake, that includes other templars!"

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Valera growled, grabbing the collar of his breastplate and yanking him down to her level. A plated fist clenched with a soft squeal of metal, mostly for intimidation then actual threat. She breathed out the next words like a caress of death. "Take me across. Now. Or I'll be very displeased."

"Don't hit me!" Carroll cried before ripping free of the blonde woman. "I'll take you across!"

BREAK

~Fade Illusion

Valera looked down at the small child in her arms. Pink faced and sleeping, he was the most perfect creature she had even beholden in her life. Hours of labor and pain had been beyond worth this tiny creature, wrapped in a soft blue blanket, just a tuff of reddish blonde hair visible.

"How are you feeling?" A cool hand touched the back of her neck, caressing down her bare shoulder. The child's father sat next to Valera, his amber eyes shining with pride at the mother of the babe.

"Tired." Valera admitted.

As if sensing it's father nearby, the babe's eyes opened, the right blue and the left a hazel green. He stared at his father, eyes wide in childish wonder, his chubby little hands weaseled out from beneath the blanket to reach for his papa.

Valera looked to the man beside her. "Want to hold him?"

"Me?" The man blanched and Valera raised a brow as if asking -who else?-, before confessing. "I'm not sure how."

"Cradle his head." Valera instructed, carefully handing the child over to his father, who took the baby as if he was glass and would shatter in his hands. "There, just like that. See? Not so hard is it?"

The father smiled over at her and Valera felt her heart skip a beat. "He's beautiful." Brown eyes shined as his smile softened. "This is everything I've ever wanted."

"Me too Anders. Me too."

"Valera! SNAP OUT OF IT! It's not real!" Theron's voice broke through the dream, waking Valera who screamed and twisted in the Dalish's grip. Bicolored eyes shot open, the dream gone and a glowering, red headed elf filled her vision.

"What…? What happened?" Valera shouted, fingers going to rub her eyes. Tears? Theron squeezed her arms painfully tight. Pain. It was clearing her mind from the gentle warmth that was trying to pull her away again. Into that lie, that beautiful dream.

"Desire demon!" Theron replied, shaking her arms as if trying to snap her out of her trance. He was growing fainter, his body seeming to fade from existence. "Don't let- trick-! Not-real!"

And he was gone.

BREAK

~Barrier

"Cullen!" Valera cried stumbling toward the trapped templar. A pink shield of energy blocked her way and Valera pounded on it with a plated fist. It was like punching a brick wall, unyielding, not weakening in the slightest. "Cullen! Are you okay!?"

"Val…?" Cullen's head lifted slowly, his voice weak. "Val is that you? No... It can't be… Just another demon trying to trick me. I know what you're trying to do!" He accused, his head falling back down to thump on his chest. "I don't believe you demon. First Amell… now Valera… I know your tricks!"

A desire demon must have been relentlessly torturing the templar for days now. Valera knew Cullen had had a thing for Amell for years now, though she had never made mention of it. It was the same for her, who secretly pinned after… another mage… Valera and Cullen had comforted each other, another person always on their minds.

Valera palmed the shield, gentle eyes on her childhood friend, softening her voice as if talking to a child. "Cullen honey, let down the shield. You're starved. We're going to help you."

"I DON'T WANT HELP FROM YOU SHEWITCH!" Cullen roared standing to pound on the barrier. His eyes were wild with hunger and isolation.

Valera leapt away from the pink barrier in fright, bumping into Alistair who was standing behind her.

"Let's leave him." Alistair touched Valera's shoulder. "He'll come to his senses when this is all over."

"You… you're right." Valera looked at her companion/best friend/lover one last time before turning toward the final floor with a heavy heart.

BREAK

~Giving In

Valera paced in front of the fire anxiously. Her home was eerily quiet, only the sound of the snapping fire and the soft pats of her house slippers kept her company. She had dressed down into royal blue house robe trimmed in gold, the ends trailing quietly after her.

A voice continued to echo in her head.

"I'm a wanted man. An apostate. A life with me, will be a life on the run."

The days events kept running over and over in her mind.

"If your door is open tonight, I will come to you."

The portal lay unlocked, inviting trouble into her home.

"We're different people Valera. Much more now then we were before."

Inviting a relationship she had always craved, wanted, dreamed about, but had always denied herself.

Valera stopped before the fireplace. Bicolored eyes slid shut.

Ander's voice echoed in her head.

"We will be hunted."

"I'm not afraid anymore."

"They will imprison you for the rest of your life if we're caught."

"I'm wiling to take that risk."

"Tranquility is worst then death. To never feel again."

"I won't let them have you."

"But to never have you again is worst then that."

"I've always been yours."

Soft steps paused in the doorway. Bicolored eyes shot to the portal, the person that she had wanted more then anything was standing there looking worn (beautiful) and tired (alive), but full of contained excitement.

"Justice does not approve of my obsession with you. He believes you're a distraction."

Valera closed the distance between them in three steps. "Tell him to sod off. I was here first." And kissed her mage.

BREAK

~The Past Revealed

"It's all in the wrist." Fenris explained, his plated hand embraced in her own.

Valera tightened her fingers reflexively as Fenris showed her the sharp motion again. Trained eyes followed the curl of his wrist as he tackled her arm once again to the table. The elf had been kicking her ass in arm wrestling for the past hour.

Valera had a feeling the ale was at least part of that. Well, and… her gaze trailed down from their joined hands to his bicep. The soft curvature of his forearms flexed sensuously, the lyrium tattoos standing out starkly against the tanned skin. They ran along the curve of muscles perfectly, drawing her gaze to the markings time and time again.

There really was no question to how the hard trained templar kept losing. The elf was a distraction within himself. It should be illegal to look that damned good. To have such dark skin contrasted against such fair hair and markings. And those gorgeous green eyes! Like large pools of sea.

"See something?" Fenris rumbled, his voice making a shiver run down her spine.

There was no secret that the two had a mutual attraction. They both disliked mages, both liked to swing large pointy objects and Valera had a hunch they would be very compatible in bed. They just had yet to act out on said attraction.

Fenris was often busy with Hawke, and Valera still had a lingering affection for a certain mage who was currently casting distasteful glances in her direction. Hazel eyes were glaring at Fenris' and her joined hands. Out of the corner of her eye Valera saw Fenris give the mage a smug smirk.

Scowling angrily, Anders turned his attention quickly back to Varric.

"The mage is smitten with you." Fenris said releasing her hand to grab his mug of ale. He took a deep swig before eyeing her again as if daring her to dispute it.

Valera shrugged taking a drawl from her out canteen. "We go way back. I was the templar assigned to taking care of him."

"I've never heard of such a thing. How did that work exactly?"

"Anders is a special case. He has a very strong affinity for healing magic. Those mages are the most closely watched by the Templars because they have the potential to be the most powerful." She rolled the canteen in her hands, eyes trained on the amber liquid swishing inside. "Any mage can create a cast a healing spell But," Valera held up a hand, a long pale scar ran down the inside of her wrist to the inside of her elbow, a wound Anders had healed years ago. "Only a handful of them are actually able to communicate with benevolent spirits of the Fade and use their powers for healing. We call them Spirit Healers. They have powers beyond imagination. Some of the more powerful ones can even resurrect the dead. They are extremely powerful mages, therefore they attract very powerful spirits. They must always be watched."

"The abomination is one of these." Fenris stated more then asked. He had seen Anders heal others. "And you were charged with watching him?"

"Yes and no. I was taken to the Circle when I was merely 8 summers. My twin was born a mage with a strong affinity for primal magic. My mother sent us to the Circle together in hopes that I would become a templar able to restrain my sister. Originally, my twin was my charge."

Valera forced the lump in the back of her throat down. It was ridiculous for her to be getting choked up about Sanya. Her twin had been dead for over six years now. She continued on, moving away from the subject of Sanya.

"The fool Anders escaped one day. I was on watch with two others when it happened. I was the only one who took initiative to chase him. Two days later I dragged him back to the Circle. After that, everything changed."

Fenris raised a brow.

"He's escaped from the Circle at least seven times you know? Each time I was able to bring him back without a phylactery." Fenris looked baffled before Valera explained, tapping her temple with a finger. "I know how he thinks. I never needed to use the blood to find him. The Knight-Commander assigned me to be his personal Chaser and guard."

"After awhile it almost became a game. I would bring him back to the Circle, get lenient with his guard. He would escape and I would chase after him. It was something interesting in our rather boring lives."

"You let him escape?" Fenris asked surprised. "You seemed so vigilant for the Templar cause."

"I am. I do believe in the Circle." Valera amended. "But I've never been able to actually lock Anders up. He has this way about him. He craves freedom so dearly, so I would give him a chance to get it, but eventually I had to be a templar again and begin the chase."

"That's cruel for you to treat someone that way. Mage or not." Fenris growled having known what it was like to be enslaved to a life that would have no control over. He began to stand to walk away from her. "I may have had the wrong impression about you after all."

"I really do care for him." Valera admitted and Fenris paused before reseating hesitantly. "He is everything I would want to be if I were in his shoes. To see that blissful smile of his face before I locked him up and dragged him back. It was worth it each time to let him go."

A pause, then. "You love him."

Whether it was the drink or the knowing look in Fenris gaze, Valera merely nodded, not denying the truth. "I suppose I do."

"So how is it that you ended up with the way things are now?"

"The last time he escaped I followed him to the boarders of Ferelden. I couldn't travel into Amaranthian without permission from my superior. I had to make the trip back to the Circle. Something had gone wrong when I arrived, there were abominations running all around the place. Knight-Commander Greigor called for a Right of Annulment. We slaughtered them all…"

Valera could still recall the faces of the mages she had murdered in cold blood. They still haunted her nightmares. A chill rushed down her spine, her gaze was drawn to the apostate whose very presence instantly calmed her plagued thoughts. He was playing (and probably losing) Wicked Grace with Isabella. "By the time I returned and tracked down Anders, he had already taken his oath as a Grey Warden."

"Grey Wardens are free of the Circle." Fenris added helpfully as Val took a sip of her drink wincing. It was strong from sitting so long.

"The Circle was nearly destroyed, my twin was long dead, Anders was finally free. I had nowhere to go. My mother called me back to Kirkwall to take up my templar oath in it's Circle. So here I am, back home and the Maker throws Anders at me again. I guess it's meant to be. He's an apostate again so I feel it my duty to at least watch over him."

Anders noticing her gaze, turned and gave her a lopsided grin before looking back to his cards. A small smile graced Valera's mouth before it was quickly hidden behind her canteen.

~END