Note: There is a flashback in this chapter of the PTSD variety and some discussion of the aftereffects of the events of this Book especially; they're not major and probably not triggering, but just be aware that they're there.

On a language note (and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong), adieu has connotations of a permanent goodbye, while au revoir is a more formal version of 'see you later'.

chapter xviii

Arriving at Dalton after winter break was a much different experience than his mis-semester arrival. For one, it was much colder, and he only had one suitcase; for another, all three members of his family, and a good portion of his friends, not only saw him off at Lima but had insisted on coming with him. They had all been unbearably overwhelmingly helpful and clingy since he'd been released from hospital only the day after he'd woken up, leaving behind him baffled doctors – but it was better than being ignored and he'd missed them all dearly.

"I can't believe the Warblers are having a rehearsal before the semester even starts," Rachel griped, her eyes wide in panic. "They're not even competing anymore this year!"

"Don't go getting any ideas," Mercedes snapped.

"Calm down, ladies," Kurt said, patting the knees of the girls on either side of him, "it's probably not even a proper rehearsal."

"Maybe they're throwing you a surprise party," Finn suggested from the passenger seat.

It won't just be for me, Kurt thought, not even trying to dampen his grin as he caught his dad's eye in the mirror.

A couple of days after his return, some of his Dalton friends began to visit – Jeff and Lukas, Nick, other boys from his house and classes, some even carrying well-wishes from teachers. Most of them, Kurt's false history with the popular lead Warbler being a source of drama in an otherwise mostly-drama-less school, had also brought the news that Blaine had woken up too.

(Nick had cornered him in the kitchen and demanded the truth, because Blaine had apparently said some things that didn't match up with Kurt, and there was no way the woman from the hospital wasn't linked with his and Blaine's simultaneous consciousness. Kurt promised him he could borrow Kurt's journal, once Lauren was done with it.)

"Whatever it is, remember we've still got you for the rest of the day," Burt said. "And your teachers will let you take it easy if you get too tired."

"I'm fine, Dad," Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "I promise. I'm better than ever. I feel like I could take on the Black Friday sales all by myself."

"No marathon shopping for at least another month," Burt fired back. He was smirking, and Kurt rolled his eyes again. Of course his dad would use this opportunity as payback for the months Kurt had spent fussing over him.

Mercedes broke the conversation with a low whistle. "Damn, boy, no wonder you don't wanna come back to McKinley. This place is fine."

There was a small group of boys standing at the bottom of the steps leading to Dalton's door. Kurt looked at Mercedes, and then the two of them and Rachel started giggling. Finn looked confused; Burt just sighed and pulled into a parking space. The boys started heading towards them, and Kurt finally recognised them (under their many layers) as his roommates.

"Kurt!" Jeff exclaimed, almost bowling the two of them over. Lukas greeted him with a more sedate though no less enthusiastic hug, and Kurt introduced them to everyone as Carole pulled into the empty space next to them.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Hummel," Lukas said, his calm an extreme juxtaposition to Jeff's jittery excitement. "Kurt talks a lot about you."

"Yeah, I dread to think," Burt said, shaking Lukas' hand even as he grinned.

"I hope it's alright if we steal him away for a little while, Mr. Hummel," Jeff said. "We won't be long but—"

"Pretty urgent Warblers' meeting," Lukas interrupted. "Very important. Kurt's the last one to arrive."

"You're not even in the Warblers," Kurt said, raising an eyebrow to his roommate's guileless expression.

"As long as some of you come back with him, you can steal him for as long as you look," Lauren said, and next to her, Puck looked equal parts kicked dog and ready to fight for his lady's heart.

"Yeah, go on, kid," Burt said, waving his hand. "We'll just wander round Westerville for a bit."

"You're the best, Mr. H!" Jeff called, already dragging Kurt back into the building so fast they were almost running.

"Why do I get the feeling there's more than just a surprise party?" Kurt commented dryly, even as his pulse raced for reasons more than exertion.

Jeff just stopped them outside the doors to the choir room, span around to look Kurt up and down and nodded to himself. "Just get in there, hot stuff."

Kurt opened the doors. The room instantly fell silent, and he was about to turn around and cast a judgemental eyebrow upon Jeff Sterling, but then—

"Kurt."

Sitting at the end of the council table, smiling so wide his eyes were reduced to nothing more than a shining squint, muscles still thin but skin back to its usual colour: "Blaine."

Jeff pushed him over the door threshold, making him stumble forwards, but then he was suddenly standing by the desk and holding Blaine upright against him as Blaine cupped his jaw and their lips met for their first real life kiss.

He tasted like hot chocolate.

"Do you want to meet my parents?"

Kurt startled and blushed; Blaine was turned away, but Kurt could still see pink on his ears and the tops of his cheeks.

"They're coming to pick me up in a few hours," he explained, still studiously avoiding Kurt's eyes. "I mean, since – I think it'd be good to meet."

"Dummy," Kurt said affectionately. With the hand not entwined with the other boy's, he tugged on the collar of Blaine's polo – god, it was amazing, and surprisingly hot, to finally see Blaine out of the uniform. "How else am I going to get away with visiting all semester?"

Blaine laughed and finally looked back at Kurt. His eyes were bright and warm and Kurt wanted nothing more than to kiss him, and so he did. He'd already lost count of how many times they'd kissed, what did it matter when they had the rest of their lives?

When they pulled apart, Blaine settled against Kurt's chest and let his full weight rest; it was strange, because Blaine had always been compact and rather slight – now, his body was frail, still regaining strength and mass. It was disconcerting feeling the bones in Blaine's hand so sharply when they held hands, but Kurt was mostly just relieved that weight loss, muscle atrophy and lethargy were the only significant consequences of the months-long coma, and they could be easily overcome. For now, Blaine would just be very tired and weak, but apparently he was already making excellent progress with his physical therapy.

Yeah, it would suck only being able to hang out with Blaine on weekends, but Kurt was thrilled that they would be going through their senior year together. And in the meantime, if he missed Blaine, his boyfriend was only a text away.

"If you're feeling up to it later," he murmured, running his fingers through Blaine's curls, much to the older boy's pleasure, "maybe you could meet my family later, too. I'm sure I'll be able to distract my lunatic friends."

Blaine huffed a laugh. "Don't be mean."

"You'll see, Blaine Anderson, the Warblers have nothing on the Rachel Berry."

"I'll see," Blaine echoed, voice saturated in joy and wonderment, and a grin grew on Kurt's face.

"Well," he said, beaming, "if you really insist on meeting the entire group, dysfunction and all, then you and your parents would certainly be most welcome to have dinner with us."

"Are you sure?"

Kurt licked his lips and dropped his hand to the cheek that wasn't pressed against his shoulder. "I just got you back," he said quietly, cursing how easily tears came to him, "a few hours isn't near enough, especially when I have to share you. I never want to say goodbye to you."

"But Kurt," Blaine said, pushing himself up to meet Kurt's eyes straight on and cupping his jaw, "it's not adieu; it'll only be au revoir."

And Blaine leant forward, capturing Kurt's lips in a soft, slow, sensual kiss that thrilled through his entire body, and he allowed himself to lean back and be kissed. Blaine's body was firm pressed against him, horizontal enough that he was holding onto most of his boyfriend's weight. He gripped Blaine's hips to keep them steady, his heart pounding in his throat as his skin grew warmer and warmer.

Blaine's tongue flicked against Kurt's lips – he gasped and, before he could stop himself, slipped his hands down and round the remaining inches to Blaine's butt and pulled him closer. Blaine moaned in response, and it seemed to linger in the air even as the boys simultaneously separated.

"So," Kurt said breathlessly, "will you come to dinner?"

Blaine laughed. "I'll come to dinner," he agreed, slipping back down to rest in Kurt's lap. He brushed a soft kiss to Kurt's jaw as he went and there was suddenly searing pain, something trickling down his neck, weight pressing him into the rough ground and pine trees and rotting meat and Blaine was somewhere but where?!

Then the weight disappeared, and the ringing in his ears began to fade. He opened his eyes, surprised to realise they'd even closed – and relief punched through him, because Blaine was less than an arm's length away, worry and fear lining his face but here.

"Kurt?" he ventured tremulously, and Kurt slowly released a shaking breath.

"Well, that was unexpected," he said glibly, trying for a smile and feeling none the better for it.

Blaine's expression creased further in upset, a darkness shadowing all traces of his earlier joviality. "I can hardly fall asleep without having nightmares," he confessed in a low, empathetic tone, "and I'm terrified of going to sleep besides. And I've yet to go a day without having a panic attack."

For a moment, Kurt closed his eyes, to recenter and resettle himself. Then he pulled Blaine close, buried his face into his boyfriend's neck, and whispered, "I love you," into his shirt.

"I love you, too."

They sat for a while in silence, drawing comfort from each other's presence and the pale January light streaming through Dalton's windows and the faint hubbub of voices just down the hall.

Eventually, Kurt pulled away, accepting Blaine's offered handkerchief to wipe his face while Blaine did the same, and when he smiled now it felt so much lighter. "I suppose we'd better return to the Warblers before they come crashing through the door," he said, and Blaine's responding laugh reignited the warmth of his eyes.

"Everyone else should have arrived by now," Blaine said. "It's a proper glad-you're-back party."

Kurt returned the handkerchief, stood, and kissed Blaine's knuckles as he helped the shorter boy stand as well.

"Will you be able to walk on your own?" he asked.

Blaine smiled up at him coyly. "I'm sure you'll catch me if I fall."

Kurt grinned. "If I'm lucky." Blaine had a whole fanclub who were eagerly awaiting their opportunity to lend a hand. Kurt would be jealous, but as the boyfriend, he could easily capitalise on their shameless hero worship.

They returned to the choir room – which was indeed much more full now – to rambunctious cheers and boisterous whistles, and with a final kiss to the cheek, Kurt stepped away to let his boyfriend be completely surrounded by friends.

And later, when Blaine introduced himself to Burt Hummel, the man looked at Kurt's hand situated firmly around the other boy's waist, sighed, and said, "Just call me Burt, kid. We'll be seeing a lot of you once you get better, I take it?"

The journal had been a lucky find, half hidden behind a mechanical clock and a dancing ballerina ornament in an antique store in Dayton. It was covered with battered brown leather, with an intricate gold pattern embossed around the edges, a worn gold-plated lock and key, and rough, cream-coloured pages; and Kurt had fallen in love with it instantly. Over the next six months, it would be filled with a fantastically unbelievable story about demons and the simple, impossible way two teenagers fall in love, with only the richest of burgundy ink cartridges. It went from sitting next to skin creams to the bottom of a desk drawer, from behind stacks of college textbooks to underneath mountains of sketch pads and sheet music. Until, eventually, it lay forgotten, in a box of miscellaneous knick knacks at the back of a shared closet, in a room down the hall to the newest member of their family.

A wail came through the monitor.

"Your turn," Kurt mumbled, reaching behind him to slap blindly against bare skin. His husband laughed and groaned in one breath, but rolled over to kiss Kurt's own naked shoulder anyway.

"Love you," Blaine whispered, but go no response. Kurt had already fallen back to sleep.

The End.

End notes and final thank yous: I first came up with this idea in December 2011 (it was even one of the first ideas I had) when I listened to 'Somewhere Only We Know' and decided to make that into a literal place, started writing it in May 2012, and since then it has been through so many edits and transformations (for example: originally, there was not a demon nor malevolent force nor even a coma in sight), almost right up until the end – I've spent many sleepless nights and countless Sociology classes thinking and planning and imagining . . . and now it's finally finished. There is no more Before I Wake to be written.

Huge, huge thank yous to my sister and to my high school best friend who sat through so many free periods listening to me, to Sammi for beta reading this for me, to Hannah who has listened to me vent even though she was waiting for me to complete BIW before she read it and whom I hope enjoys this very much (to my parents who only raised an eyebrow at my writing fanfiction and never discouraged it, haha). Thank you to pinefir for making me a fanmix on 8tracks (the link can be found on my profile), which I still listen to on a regular basis. And thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, commented on, favourited or bookmarked my baby, for sticking through the unexpected four-month hiatus (I am still so, so sorry) - and thank you to everyone who will still read this (because I sure hope you exist in our possible future Skynet society).

It's been a real blast. :)