Rifiuto: Non Miriena

She swallowed. "The only thing that keep me going, kept me focused, was knowing that it was our son, your son, coming into the world. That I had gone through nine months of changes and... worries and fears... and that when it was over, I would have a piece of you back. That I would be able to look into our son's face and see you. Otherwise, I would have given up then and there."

She laid her head on the back of the sofa, closing her eyes, becoming lost in the memory. Tim watched silently as her hand moved down, subconsciously ghosting over her belly. And old habit, brought on from months of watching and feeling her belly grow and change before her.

And then she felt it.

The stretching as the baby's head moved through her birth canal and out of her body. She screamed, giving into the carnal urges that had built within her over the last twelve hours. "Ima, what is happening?" Rivka gently brushed her hair off her forehead.

"You're crowning, Zivaleh." Ari told her; she looked up at him, confused.

"What?" Nothing her brother said was making any sense. But she didn't have time to think on his words, as a deep, burning sensation began to hit her, and she sucked in air, digging into her mother's hand with her nails.

"Stop pushing, Ziva! I want you to stop pushing! If you push then you are going to tear, and we want to decrease that as much as we can. Do you hear me? Ziva!" She lifted her head, meeting her brother's gaze. "Breathe. Slow and calm and deep. Relax, Zivaleh. Let your body do the work." She nodded, feeling Rivka move behind her and wrap her arms around her, holding her close. Taking deep breaths, she leaned back and lay her head on her mother's shoulder, trying to do as Ari instructed. Soon, she began to feel Rivka's fingers in her hair, her soft voice in her ear. She squeezed her eyes shut, whimpering at the burning between her legs.

"Ima, it burns! Make it stop, please!" Rivka continued to stroke her daughter's hair.

"I know it burns, sweetheart. That's because the baby is coming out. He's starting to come out and the only way to accommodate him is for you to stretch. It will be over soon. It only lasts a few moments, okay?" She pressed a kiss to her older daughter's head, tightening her hold on the young woman. Ziva continued to breathe, finally feeling the numbness her mother told her about.

"I did not think it could get any worse, or any more amazing." She whispered, keeping her eyes closed. A soft chuckle escaped her throat, and she sighed. "I was wrong. Twice over."

Tim cocked his head to the side. "Twice?" She nodded, never opening her eyes.

"What is that? Ari, what is that?" Slowly, she raised her head from Rivka's shoulder, to see Tali next to their brother. She was grabbing onto his arm; if she could have bounced up and down, she would have. Ari chuckled, glancing at Ziva.

"That, is our nephew, Talia." He replied. The younger girl's eyes widened.

"It is?" He nodded.

"Ken. It is the top of his head." He glanced at Ziva again. "Zivaleh is doing good. He is coming."

"He is?" Ari nodded at his sister, smiling softly.

"Would you like to feel the top of your son's head, Ziva?" She glanced from her brother to her mother and back.

"I can?" He nodded, holding out a hand. Rivka helped her sit up, and gently, Ari guided her hand down between her legs. And then, he brushed her fingers against something new, different. What she was feeling was soft. Foreign and yet familiar. She looked up at her brother, only vaguely understanding.

"Do you feel that, Zivaleh?" He gave her a small smile. She nodded. "That is your son's head." A small smile tugged at her lips, and she took a deep breath.

"His head." She whispered, turning to Rivka. "It is my son's head." Her mother gave her a small smile, kissing her temple.

She sighed, tangling their fingers. "It was one of the most amazing things I had ever felt. It was his head I was feeling against my fingers. Those beautiful dark curls; they were wet and even with everything going on, they were soft. It took my breath away." She squeezed his hand, phantom pains still catching her off guard after all these years.

"And what was the other one?" He asked softly, letting himself be carried away by her story.

She couldn't focus on much, other than the pain that had taken control of her life. Holding tight to Rivka's hand, she pushed, following her body's urges. Tali was sitting next to her, holding her other hand, telling her stories or funny rhymes to get her mind off the pain she was going through.

"Zivaleh, I want you to rest when you feel that you need to, okay? Listen to your body, okay?" She nodded, and after several minutes, choked out,

"Where is he? He is supposed to be here by now." Rivka chuckled softly.

"Oh, Ziva, sweetheart. It takes time to push a baby out." She turned to her mother.

"Time?" Her mother nodded. "But-"

"He will be here soon, Zivaleh. Have patience. He will be here soon and then you can hold him."

She licked her lips. "It was so frustrating. I had been pushing for hours, and... I felt as though I had nothing to show for it. I did as Ima instructed and listened to my body; it was the strongest urge I had ever felt before. I had no medication, no help other than my mother, sister and brother, and had never felt so much pain in my life. To feel your son..." She stopped, licking her lips. "Our son, coming out of my body... it was the most amazing feeling in the entire world."

A scream escaped her throat as she felt Ari gently guide the baby's shoulders out. She dug her nails further into her mother and sister's skin, pushing as her body told her to. Focused on only the task at hand, she paid no attention to the thoughts bouncing in her head or escaping her vocal chords.

"I want him! I want him back! He is mine! This is our son, he needs his father! I need him!" Rivka and Ari shared a glance, but were unable to do anything but soothe her with whispered words and touches.

"I need you to push one last time, Zivaleh! Ziva, look at me!" She forced herself to meet Ari's eyes. "One more push. One last push, okay?" She nodded, allowing Rivka an Tali to help her sit up. She leaned over, squeezing her eyes shut as she did as her brother directed and pushed. Minutes passed, time seemed to slow, before she finally heard the one thing she'd be anxious to hear for nine months.

Her son's strong, healthy cry.

Her eyes snapped open, and she lifted her head, meeting his gaze. A small smile graced her lips, and she sighed.

"I went through eighteen hours of labor, and..." She shrugged. "And then he was there. Our son."