~Called Out
"You need to stop looking at her like that." Valera chided Cullen who turned toward her, his cheeks flushing red. She had hit the nail on the head and gone right to the problem of the matter.
"W-what?" He asked, brown eyes shifting away to stare at a crack on the marble floor.
Valera sighed, fingertips touching her forehead in exasperation. "I've seen the way you look at Amell, Cullen. I know you, better then anyone. You need to stop making it so obvious that you're interested in her or the others will start to notice as well."
"B-but I'm not…"
"Yes, you are, just accept it." Valera leaned a bit on the other templar, her unarmored shoulders brushing against his.
They were off duty, dressed down into slacks and a plain shirts, his a faded green tunic, and hers an off the shoulder long sleeved white linen shirt. It felt more human to be in clothing with no armor between them.
Cullen merely sighed heavily, flopping back on the two single beds that had been shoved together years ago. Their quarters were similar to the mages, the newbie templars having to share spaces much like the apprentices. Cullen and Valera shared a room, having grown enough to have their own space, much like the mages quarters. A stone wall divided their rooms, a shared bathroom between them.
The two had taken their single beds and placed them side by side making a bed large enough for both to lay on. Valera's 'room' was a house for their armor and weapons. Years together as partners had taken away propriety and neither minded being exposed in front of the other so they shared a room for comfort and company.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone naturally." Valera soothed leaning over her comrade, running her fingers through his tightly curled red hair. They kept any secrets between them, like best friends who jealously guarded one another from any others. "Just stop asking for shifts when you know she's studying. And stop standing outside her classes everyday!" A hand raised and trailed up the side of her neck, his thumb brushing across the soft skin of her exposed collarbone. "You just scream lovesick fool. I'm surprised no one else has not-."
"You talk too much." Cullen grumbled, his large hand splaying over the back of her neck before pulling down to silence her with a kiss. It was a full brush of lips, his mouth covering her own completely. Something to make her be quiet.
And Valera 'humphed' in the back of her throat with a roll of her eyes.
Placing her hands on either side of his head, Valera pulled free of the lip lock, grunting against his mouth, "this won't make it go away."
Brown eyes narrowed up at her before he sat up, catching her mouth with his own again. "Just shut up will you." He mumbled against her lips, cupping the base of her skull and deepening their kiss. His tone was irritated, but not angry and Valera mentally shrugged before giving him all her attention.
BREAK
~Pray
Valera curled even tighter into herself, rocking back and forth in the fetal position. Tomorrow, tomorrow she was to be the blade to put down the mage in the next Harrowing. But it wasn't just any mage.
Anders. I can't do this, I can't do this.
Would she be able to actually do it? Would she be able to swing the blade to end his life if things went sour?
He would be an abomination, he wouldn't be Anders anymore.
Valera shook her head frantically, golden curls flicking across her face. No, it would still be him, her Anders, her mage, her responsibility.
I should fake being sick. Yeah, Greigor would just assign it to another Templar. Yeah that's it, that would work! Then what if Anders does fail? You'll never see him again! They might kill him slowly if he does change. Some templars take sick pleasure in it. At least you'll know if you're his blade then you know that he'll be able to have a swift merciful death.
"Val…?" Cullen's voice floated around the stone wall that blocked the view of their bed from the hall.
Mismatched eyes snapped to the doorway as Cullen stepped around the wall while removing his helmet. "Hey, I heard you're… Oh Val…"
"Cullen!" She cried, leaping from the bed and into his awaiting arms. The helm clattered loudly to the floor, the echoing silence followed only by Valera's heart wrenching sobs.
"I can't do it!" She wailed, clinging tightly to his armored chest.
Cullen was the only one who could understand. He knew how she felt about the mage, having similar feelings for one himself.
The other templar smoothed her hair gently whispering words of comfort. "You have faith in him right?"
"Yes of course!"
"Then Maker willing, he'll be just fine."
Valera paused, the sobs stopping instantly. How silly of her to not even think of it that way. Anders was a powerful mage, and despite his many flaws he was a very intelligent man with much skill. "You're right. Cullen you're right!" She cupped his face and kissed him full on the mouth. "You wonderful, wonderful man! Did I ever tell you I absolutely love you?"
He smiled slyly. "Maybe once or twice, though you could stand to say it more."
"I looooove you!" Valera cheered, kissing the man one last time before darting off to get armored. The Harrowing wasn't until tomorrow, but she had watch duty this afternoon and a rather ornery mage to keep an eye on.
BREAK
~Wonderful Dream
He twirls her, hands linked together as their laughter fills the air. They've snuck to the roof of the Circle through a staircase that only the templar knows. The moon dances high above them, her glow the only illumination they need.
They fall, having grown dizzy from spinning. They fall side by side, hands remaining linked between their bodies. They're on the edge of the battlements, just a thin layer of divided stone between them and a fall that neither would survive.
"I've never seen the sky at night." He admits between pants, their previous dance having winded him. "It's beautiful." He releases her hand and sits up, legs dangling off the edge.
Valera sits next to him, the stone gap just wide enough for the both of them to fit comfortably. She snags his hand again and he smiles ruefully at her for a moment before squeezing her fingers reassuringly.
"I wonder what it would be like to be able to see this every night if I pleased? To be able to go where I please, to do as I please?" He stands swiftly, and she loses his hand again. He steps close to the edge, and she wants to cry out for him to be careful! He's a grown man, he knows what he's doing.
"What would it be like to be free?" He persists stepping so close to the edge she fears he'll fall.
"Anders, please come back." Valera begs, her hand reaching for his own to tug him back.
But he's got that self righteous gleam in his eye. "Why am I a prisoner because of an ability I didn't ask for!? Why should we be locked up because of an accident of birth!? The Maker gave us these powers! Why can't we be free!?"
His arms spread wide as he faces her, his heels hanging off the edge now. "I want to be free from here! To fly!" And he falls.
"NOOOOOO!" The shriek wakes her, and Valera realizes the sound is coming from her own throat. Her heart is pounding so hard in her chest it feels as if it'll burst from her chest. Naked skin is coated in a cold sweat and the sheets are tangled around her feet.
By some miracle she manages to not wake Cullen, who sleeps undisturbed beside her. His face his serene, the quilt bunched down at his waist. The moon shines in through the window, lighting his bare skin, giving it an ethereal glow.
He truly is a handsome man and Valera loves him, but doesn't want him, doesn't yearn for his touch. He is merely a physical comfort, a soothing balm to an itch she can't scratch. He is not the cure. And she is the same to him. A friend, a companion, a lover but not a love.
Shakily, Valera rises from the bed, slipping on her slacks and a loose fitting shirt. She doesn't bother with her smalls. She won't be gone long.
She heads for the door.
A hand slips out from beneath the covers to grasp her own as she passes by. Cullen is blinking sleepily up at her, his brown eyes trying to awaken and focus on her face. "Everything okay?" He whispers, voice thick with sleep.
"I'm okay." Valera replies, leaning over to caress his cheek and give him a gentle kiss on the forehead. "Just having a little trouble sleeping. Going to take a walk, I'll be back."
"Mkay." He mumbles, falling back to sleep almost instantly.
A handsome, kind man. How Valera wishes she could just love him as more then a friend.
BREAK
~Ropes
"Oh really Anders, must you whine so?" Val groaned, her head sinking between her leather clad knees.
Anders was currently bound, hands and feet, and situated on a fallen log just next to the fire. After capturing the apostate yet again (for the third time if she was counting correctly), they had stopped their trek back to the Circle, making a small camp just outside Denerim. Valera didn't want to risk the mage escaping back into the city where he would be a much harder target to pick out amongst hundreds of other people. At least if he managed to get away from her in the wilderness, she knew he didn't really have much of a chance of hiding when she could track his footprints and trail like a bloodhound.
"They're so tight!" The blond mage grumbled again, shifting his wrists to show her the chaff marks from the thick ropes binding the appendages.
Valera just narrowed her eyes, "well if you'd stop fussing then they wouldn't be moving across your skin."
"Fussing!?"
"Yes fussing." She replied, standing from her spot to kneel next to the struggling apostate. "See, you've made them tighter by twisting them all over the place." She motioned to the ropes, before loosing the knot. Pulling a vial from her nearby pack, she poured a small amount of elf root based lotion in her palm before smoothing it over Anders chaffed wrists. She retied the bindings, though not nearly as tight, but tight enough so that he would be unable to escape.
"Better?" Valera asked.
"Yes." Anders replied, before his arms were lifted up and over her head before she could even respond. His bound hands cupped the back of her head before pulling her in, his lips planting a solid kiss on her own. "Thanks Val." And with a cheeky smile the apostate turned over a proceeded to sleep.
~END