Rifiuto: Non Miriena
She had spent eight years, dreaming of his kisses. Eight years, reliving that one night of passion, trying to remember his caresses, his kisses, everything about that night. And now, after eight long, lonely, torturous years alone, without him in their lives, they were together, they were a family. And Tim... he had kissed her. Finally, after all this time, in the spur-of-the-moment, he had kissed her, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Her lips still tingled from his kiss, and all she wanted to do was jump up and down and dance around like a child, but she forced herself to remain calm. She could feel Asher's eyes on her, and after a moment, turned to him. Holding out a hand, she whispered, "What is the matter, my angel? Come here, tell me." Slowly, the boy closed his book and went to his mother, sitting on the sofa and curling into his mother's arms. The boy swallowed, looking up at her.
"Abba kissed you." She chuckled softly.
"I know he did." Gently, she reached down, stroking his hair off his face.
"Why did you not kiss him back?" She bit her lip, forcing herself to look into her son's green eyes. How did she tell him that kissing is what led to his existence in the first place? Taking a deep breath, she gently pushed him up, shifting so that she was settled back in the corner of the sofa.
"You have to understand something, my angel." She whispered, reaching out and taking his hand. "When Abba and I met, we were teenagers. The night you were conceived was the first night we had kissed, it was the first night we did everything together. We gave ourselves to each other; and we created you in the process. Asher, my angel, I have gone eight years without your Abba in my life. And I have spent those last eight years dreaming of him, of his touches and his kisses and sharing a life with him that I thought would never happen. I have lived on fantasies and daydreams alone, and-"
"But it is happening, Ima. We are going to live together. We have a new apartment; we are going to be a real family-"
"I know, my angel." She whispered, reaching out and taking his chin her hand. She gave her son a small smile, loving the enthusiasm sparking in his green eyes. "I know. And once our things arrive from Tel Aviv, we will move into that apartment in Georgetown and have a home of our own. With Abba. Forever." She watched as the enthusiasm was soon replaced with worry. "What is it, Asher?"
He bit his lip, before whispering, "Why did Abba leave us? What if he leaves us again? What if he does not love us?"
She saw the plain and blatant fear in her son's eyes, realizing that the story of their love affair must have finally sunk in, and was hitting him full force. He was blaming himself for Tim's disappearance before he was born. Gently, she reached out, taking his face in her hands. "Oh my angel, my blessed angel," Tears came to her eyes, and she struggled to keep them at bay. "Abba did not leave us because he wanted to. He left us eight years ago because he had no choice. Our parents found out, and separated us. Abba was disowned and sent back to America; and I was disowned from my own family as soon as they discovered I was carrying you. He did not leave willingly; he did not want to leave me, and I know," She leaned close, brushing her thumb over his cheek. "that if he had known about you, he would not have left you."
Asher thought a moment before asking, "Does he really love us, Ima?" She nodded.
"Ken. I know he loves us. Because every time I look into his eyes, I see it. I see how much he loves you and how much he loves me, and how important it is for him to make up for as much lost time as he can. I know that he spent as much time dreaming about me as I spent dreaming about him over the years. Believe me, angel, I dreamt of us being a family as much as you have, and I will be just as excited as you once we move into our new home." Without a word, Asher snuggled into his mother's arms, closing his eyes.
She looked up as the door opened. "Sorry I'm late. I picked up dinner on the way back." She went to him, taking the bags from his arms as he removed his coat.
"I got a call from Tel Aviv while you were gone."
"Really?" She nodded, glancing around him to find Asher still buried in his book. "What did they say?" She grinned at him.
"Our things were on the first flight out yesterday morning, and they arrive in an hour." He gave her a small smile.
"That's great." She nodded, turning to him once she'd unpacked everything from the bags.
"So, I was thinking," She stepped closer, reaching out to take his hand. "Maybe we could go pick up our things and get them moved into the apartment. And maybe, spend the first night in our new home." He thought a moment, rolling his eyes.
"All right- but not the first official night. Tomorrow will be the first official night." She grinned. "You want to repack dinner? I'll pull the car around."
She glanced towards him, still surprised that he had agreed so easily. Something told her that he was just as eager to get settled into their new life as a family as she was. It had been a quick process, retrieving their things and dropping them off at the apartment before returning to Tim's. Now, they sat at the dinner table, talking over Chinese and laughing as Asher tried to use chopsticks. However, her glance kept going to the living room, where a lone box sat; the only box she refused to leave at the new apartment.
It held the memories of her past, and after they finished dinner and she put Asher to bed, it would be time for her share them with Tim.