Rifiuto: Non Miriena
Thanks to Sazzita, Reader and skyjadeprincess for reviewing 41.
Ziva looked around; she was the only one, besides Tim, Gibbs and a few others, that was here early. Sighing, she sat back in her chair and reached up to play with her necklace. She had joined Mossad like she was supposed to; the good daughter, even though she was no longer of her father's family, as far as he was concerned. But her mother had been concerned.
"I do not want you joining, Zivaleh."
"I have no choice, Ima." Rivka grabbed her arm.
"You have a choice! That baby you brought into this world two months ago should be your choice!" She glanced towards the living room, where Tali was holding Asher, playing with his fingers and making funny faces at him.
"Avner returned to Mossad, and he had children-"
"Do not use a one time incident to justify your reasoning, Ziva. Avner was forced back into it-"
"To avenge the deaths of the Israelis in Munich!"
"That was his choice to return, Ziva! Not yours!"
She took a deep breath, glancing nervously at the clock. What was taking Tim so long? If she didn't find something to do soon, she would go crazy. Her fingers tangled in the chain of her necklace.
"I have to, Ima-"
"No, what you have to do, is be a mother to your son." Rivka replied, reaching up and taking her daughter's face in her hands. Ziva shook her head.
"I have no choice-"
"Ken, you do! Ziva, you do! Think about it! Think about that baby boy! He needs you!" Her daughter pulled away, turning to watch her sister and son.
"It is my duty, Ima-"
"Screw duty, Zivaleh!" The shock on her daughter's face was evident. "Any duty you had to your father died the night you conceived Asher with that Ambassador's son, do you hear me? Your duty is to your son, not your father. Do you think he would want you go into Mossad if he were here?" She swallowed.
"But he is not, Ima. And I have no choice. I have to make a living somehow-"
"And you will, but not with Mossad." Rivka said, taking her daughter's hands. "Please, Ziva, do not do this. Do not go into Mossad. You may never get out. And if you do, it will not be of your own free will, it will be in a body bag, at your father's feet. Ziva, please, I am begging you. Think of Asher. He needs you."
She swallowed. But she had gone back, against her mother's wishes. It had been because of him that she had joined; she needed the money to give him what he needed, to be a good mother, like she so desperately wanted to be. She thought back to Tim's words,
'You and Asher will always be worth it.'
He was right. Asher was worth it. Asher was worth the grueling hours, the missions, the near-death experiences. Asher was worth it all, because she always had him to come home to. She had her son to cuddle and love and play with, to make smile and laugh. Yes, Asher was worth it, and now, so was Tim. But then again, in the back of her mind, Tim had always been worth it.
"So, your father beat you, with a fireplace poker, after discovering you and Ziva together? Let me just make sure I have that clear." Tim nodded. He had told Gibbs everything, and now looked up at his boss from his place on the floor, back against the wall.
"Yep. That's it in a nutshell." Tim played with the sleeve of his shirt, pushing it back to expose his tattoo for Asher. Gibbs knelt down, leaning close to see the beautifully intricate tattoo. A moment passed, before he was able to pick out the boy's name and date, as well as the meaning of his name. Sighing, he took a seat beside his youngest agent, taking his hand to study the soft curves and spirals of the tattoo.
"How did Ziva take to seeing these?"
"She doesn't understand how I can have this done. She says I'm defiling my body." Tim shrugged. "I'm doing it for her, and for Asher. So it doesn't bother me. Besides, I told her today that this," He nodded to the tattoo. "is so I'll have a piece of Asher with me no matter what he does in his life." Gibbs chuckled.
"Good thing to have. And the one on your back?" Tim sighed.
"I got the Celtic knot the summer before I started at John Hopkins. I left the center open, but I didn't know why, until Ziva showed up with our son. And then I knew." He shrugged. "I guess I always knew."
"So you covered the scars on your back from that night." Tim nodded, meeting his boss's eyes.
"Yeah. I did. Because it's in the past, Boss. It's in the past, and I've moved on, and the only thing that's important now, the only thing that matters to me now from that night, are Ziva and Asher. They are all that matters. They are the only thing that matters, that is worth hanging onto from that night. Ziva and our son. They are my life, they are my family. Them and Sarah are all I need. I don't need anyone else as long as I have them."
Gibbs listened, searching the younger man's face, but all he saw was absolute and complete honesty within the green depths. Clearly, Tim was doing everything he could to make sure Ziva and Asher got settled into their new life in America. He was doing everything possible to make sure he got to know his son; he wasn't wasting any time. "You're doing good, Tim." He whispered, gently grasping the back of his neck. "You're doing good."