"Jessica, I think we have to leave." I nodded but hugged him tighter.
"I know, but I don't want to."
"Neither do I, but we've had our time, right? We knew it couldn't last." Even so, I could see that every word ached in his mouth.
"I know, but... I hoped, Escal. It was stupid."
"No. I hoped too."
"Come." We rose and dressed, never taking our eyes off each other. "Let's walk," I said, and he agreed. There was no reason to shorten anything by apparating.
It took about an hour before we walked, hand in hand, into the Cornucopia square. As expected, he was waiting there, scowling at our hands. I squeezed Escal's hand gently and let go of him, walking forward with my wand ready.
"I don't understand what you see in that Muggle," Connor spat.
"Then you're blind."
"I'm blind?! You rejected me!" He sent a half-hearted Stunning Spell in my direction, which I reflected with a Shield Charm.
"Grow some balls, Connor. Yes, I rejected you. Get over it already! It's three years ago!" I hissed angrily, and he charged without warning.
Rocks flew off the ground and towards me. Quickly I transfigured them into a cloud of sand in which I tried to suffocate him, but before that happened, the sand became giant, growling, red-eyed dogs which became gigantic lions which he made vaporise. Our wands became blurry in the air as we moved faster and faster, hexing and cursing, charming and transfiguring in a speed I'd never thought possible. I used every single spell I could think of, and so did he, but neither of us could outdo the other. He could counter my every move.
I was at my wits' end, and I couldn't keep up the pace I was in. I desperately needed to think. A break to think. I needed time. Time.. Time!
Maybe I shouldn't try to defeat, maybe my goal was to slow him down. For now at least.
We'd been using one complicated spell after another on each other trying to outsmart the other, so perhaps something simple.
Tricking.
I smirked as I made a rock explode besides him to cover for the jelly-legs curse I threw at him. He fell to the ground as his legs began wobbling.
The next split of a second lasted an eternity. His wand flew out of his hand, and he looked me straight in the eyes, terrified as he knew it was over for him. I saw him whisper something before the killing curse hit him. A pleade. Jessica.
"Jessica." I turned around and froze. "One of us always had to die, right?" I forgot Connor's body behind me, I forgot that my every move was being watched, I even forgot my own name as I ran to Escal on the ground with the dagger in his stomach. I stumbled and fell a couple of feet from him and crawled to his side.
"What have you done?" I whispered.
"I saved you, Jess. This time, I saved you," he said, coughing up blood.
"No, we'll find a way, you can't die, please, please, please don't die." But it was too late. I couldn't do anything.
He wrapped his fingers around my neck and pulled my lips down to his, and I kissed his bloody mouth till he stopped breathing, and then I started crying hysterically, clutching his body, screaming his name.
They had to remove Escal's body from my arms with force. I think I screamed a lot. And fought. I don't really remember. I can't even recall them taking my wand away, but they must have. Or it's still in there, in the arena. Guess I don't really care much anymore.
It's been eleven years since I won the games, and I know now what I knew the moment Escal put that knife in himself to safe me. I can never go home. Even if I still had my wand, even if I somehow had the courage to try harder, I was too different. Home wouldn't be able to accept what is left of me. It's better that I stay here, in District 7, where they at least leave me be with whatever it takes to make me sleep at night.
I haven't used magic since then.
I haven't even tried.