Summary: (Post BoFA) You haven't seen him in a so long, but time and life can change even the most optimistic of dwarves.
Note: This is darker than what I normally write. It isn't horribly graphic, but I felt like a warning was needed because of the change in pace.
Looking over the vegetables in the stall, you pursed your lips as you tried to decide what to buy. It was a good year for crops, all the local farmer's having larger yields and healthier stock. Many were claiming it was a blessing; that something good must have happened in order for them to be rewarded like this.
You agreed for the most part, but it left a bad taste in your mouth. There was just something about all of this that seemed too good to be true. But you had learned early to be wary of news that was too pleasing because there was usually bad news swiftly on the way.
"Haven't seen you in a while."
Your gaze flicked up to the merchant and you smiled faintly. "Wasn't feeling well," you said honestly.
"Weather chills?"
"Must have been." There was no point in telling him the truth because you knew he would scoff at you. You were quite tired of people telling you to quit moping. You weren't moping. Sadness and longing were not the same as moping, but they didn't understand that.
"Good to see you on your feet then. Missed your smiling face."
Funny because you hadn't smiled much in the past months. Some things made you laugh, but it was never the same anymore. You missed the days when a cheery tune had filled your home and your days were full of amusing stories and your nights…. You shivered. Oh, you missed those nights.
"Are you well? Maybe you should head home if you're still ill."
Glancing at your basket, you saw you had a decent amount of groceries. There was no need to get more. "I think I should," you agreed.
"Would you like an escort?"
"No, I should be fine. Thank you," you said, turning away.
"He isn't coming back."
You froze, not only at the words but how his tone had changed. "Pardon?"
"It isn't right, you waiting like this. You aren't even married and yet you pine for him. Many think that you're disgracing yourself."
Eyes narrowed, you looked at the merchant. There was nothing friendly about him now that you had said no to him. "What I do with my life is no concern of yours and neither is who I wait for," you said sharply. "If you want me to continue shopping with you, I suggest you learn to watch your tongue."
"Or what?"
"I'll remove it," you said flatly. You didn't wait to see his reaction, walking away before he could say anything more. A part of you knew you should have held your own tongue, but you couldn't help it. You were tired of your neighbours telling you to move on, to do better than a miner that had abandoned you. They kept saying he had gone on a fool's quest, that he was never coming back.
You didn't need them to tell you that last part. You worried about that more than you cared to admit. It wouldn't have been so bad if you'd had someone to talk to about these fears, but no one seemed to care about the even-tempered miner. Or rather, they didn't want to listen to you as you voiced your concerns. A part of you wondered if it would be different if you'd been married, if they didn't think that there was some kind of scandal going on to gossip about.
Blowing out a harsh breath, you shook your head and tried to let the anger go. It did no one any good to hold onto it. Every step you took home felt a little lighter and you were nearly back to yourself when your house came into view. Your lips quirked slightly as you saw all was exactly how you left it, not that you were expecting it to be any different. Although there was something beside your door. Had one of the neighbours been kind enough to leave-
You jerked to a stop when you realised it was someone wrapped in a cloak. You'd had a few people looking to board with you since the dwarves had left, but you hadn't allowed any to. It hadn't felt right and you didn't need the extra coin. Well, this one would get the same answer as all the others. "If you're looking to rent a room, I'm sorry," you said, moving again. "I don't rent them out anymore."
The person-lump shifted but you couldn't see their face. "That's a shame because I remember they were well kept and more than any dwarf could ask for. But I'm not here for a room, lass."
Your hands began to tremble as he spoke and nearly dropped your basket. "Bofur?" you whispered, hardly daring to hope.
His head lifted and your breath caught as you got a good look at him. Something was wrong. "Aye, lass."
You nearly ran to him as he pushed himself off of the round. The only thing stopping you from throwing yourself into his arms was how slow he was moving. Was he injured? If so, what was he doing here, by himself? "How long have you been waiting?" you asked, shifting your basket so you could unlock the door. You wanted to bombard him with questions, demanding to know everything that had happened since he had walked out your door, but you held your tongue. It would do no good to throw him off now when he was obviously exhausted and possibly hurt.
"Not long."
Something was very wrong. His tone was subdued and he was barely speaking. You knew he was tired, but you got the feeling it was much more than that. Setting the basket on a chair, you tugged at your coat as you heard him close the door. "You could have come in, Bofur. You know where the spare key is."
When he didn't answer you, your heart sank. What had happened to make him like this? And did you really want to know? You immediately pushed that thought aside. Of course you did. You cared about him and you wanted to help him get through whatever this was.
You turned to him and saw him leaning against the door. His eyes were dark and haunted as he stared at you. Swallowing the bubble of fear that rose in you, you quietly asked, "You came alone?"
He nodded shortly.
"Your kin?" Your voice was whisper soft, hardly wanting to say the dreadful thought. You knew how much his brother and cousin meant to him and how much it would destroy him if anything had happened to them.
"Settling in the mountain by now."
You blinked in surprise. "Erebor is reclaimed?" you breathed, hardly believing it. When he had first told you about the quest, you hadn't said it but he had known that you had thought it was a foolish thing to do. A handful of dwarves against a dragon? You hadn't believed for one second that Smaug was actually gone. From all the stories you had heard of the wealth in that mountain kingdom, there was no way the dragon would leave it, even if no one had seen him in decades.
"Aye, but it's nothing more than an oversized tomb."
Your heart broke at how bitter he sounded. Someone had died. "Bofur, talk to me," you murmured. "Tell me what happened." It was the only way you were going to be able to help him and you couldn't do it unless he told you what was going on in that head of his.
He shuddered harshly, unable to hide his wince of pain at the action. "I wouldn't even know where to start," he rasped. "Wizards, hobbits, trolls, elves, goblins, eagles, orcs, bears, wolves and a damn dragon. Where do you start in a mess like that?"
"Generally the beginning," you said quietly.
His eyes flared with their usual humour for a moment before it faded. "Don't sass me," he said lowly. "Not about this."
"About what, Bofur?" Despite all the words he had used, he still hadn't told you a thing about what had happened. You didn't like the thought of pulling it out of him, but it was starting to look like that was going to be the only way you were going to learn anything.
"Battle of Five Armies they're calling it," he mused darkly. "Pretty name for so much unnecessary death. It didn't have to happen like that. It shouldn't have happened like that!"
Heart aching at how much pain was in his voice, it gave you a good idea who had died. He had told you a little about the others that would be going on the quest and you knew enough to piece this together. "Thorin?" you said quietly.
"Aye and his foolhardy nephews too." Bofur slammed his fist into the door, anger and frustration coating his face. "They didn't have to die! No one should have died!"
You could agree with him on that. No one should lose their lives at such a young age, but you kept quiet. He was grieving and you weren't going to diminish that with petty words. It was a dishonour to those that had died and those that had been left behind to live on. "Bofur, why are you here?" you asked gently. "Why aren't you living in Erebor?"
"And watch Dain rule when it should be Thorin or one of his lads?" He laughed shortly. "I'd rather rot in Thranduil's prison again than watch him sit on that throne."
He had been in prison? Your curiosity ate at you, wanting to know everything that had happened to sour him so. But it wasn't the time for those kinds of questions yet. "You were entitled to one fourteenth of Erebor's treasure. You could go anywhere. Why did you come back here?"
Bofur stared at you and slowly pushed away from the door. "You know, but you want me to spell it out, don't you?" he said lowly.
Your heart thumped madly, but you didn't back down. Despite the change in him, you weren't afraid. There was darkness eating at him but you knew that he would never hurt you. When he was standing toe to toe with you, you bit your lip at how black his eyes were. There were so many shadows writhing in his gaze, it was almost too much to look at.
"You want to know why I'm here," he said lowly, edging closer and forcing you to back up. "For the same reason I was here before."
You frowned. Was he implying that the only reason he was here was for sex? That the only reason he had been here before was for sex? "You have no need to work the mines, Bofur," you said, purposely misunderstanding him.
The sound he made was feral, chills spreading down your spine in response to it. His hands shot out to grab your hips and he jerked you to him. "You know the mine isn't the reason I stayed here for so long."
Trying not to make a noise as his fingers bit into you, you braced your hands against his chest. You wanted to say something to him, but you knew your voice would be laced with pain if you spoke so you kept your silence. You had no idea how he was going to react and you didn't want to provoke him further.
But that only seemed to spark his temper more. One hand lifted to fist in your hair and he tugged your head back harshly. "So be it," he said darkly.
A muffled whimper left you as his mouth crashed down on yours. His arm wrapped around your hips when you made to step back and he tugged you tight to him, driving the air from your lungs. He used the opportunity to slide his tongue past your lips, deepening the kiss. Your eyes squeezed shut as a low growl left him. He didn't even seem to care if you enjoyed his touch or not; whatever was haunting him making him only think of himself.
Making a quick decision, you told yourself to not let your heart get involved. It would surely break if you did. You weren't sure you could do it, but you were going to try. You had to at least try because whatever this turned out to be, it wasn't going to be with your lover. For all you knew, it might not even be sex but something much more basic than that. A soft sound left you when his grip tightened on you and lifted you onto the table.
He broke the kiss as he pushed you back and you saw his eyes were glittering coldly. This wasn't your Bofur. The quest had changed him and until you saw something of the old him, you would just ride out whatever this was. You didn't like the thought of being used, but if it would help bring him peace of some kind you would do it.
It was hard not to cry out when he gripped your blouse and ripped it open. His low growl made a bit of fear coil in your stomach and you tried not to let it show. "You haven't changed," he said lowly, his hands spanning your waist.
But he had. You shivered as his rough thumbs rubbed against your stomach, the sensation one you had sorely missed. It didn't last as his hands moved down to bunch your skirt around your hips. Of all the ways you had imagined his return, this had not been it.
You gasped softly when he gripped your thighs and spread them. It was hard not to resist him, not to close your legs to this stranger you had once known. But you didn't. To provoke him now would not be a good thing.
Holding his gaze as he leaned over you, your breath caught as he spread you further and you felt his erection rub against you through his pants. His hands planted on either side of you, your legs hooked over his arms as he slowly ground against you. A flare of desire washed through you as he continued doing it, teasing you with what you knew was going to happen.
"I'm going to fuck you," Bofur growled, his voice harsh.
Your eyes widened at the blunt statement, but you couldn't help your pulse from picking up.
"Right here on your table," he continued and you felt him shift, one of his hands moving from where it was propping him up.
A soft noise left you when he pressed against you again, but this time without any barriers between you. Was he really-You couldn't stop your cry when he thrust into you, your body not prepared at all for the intrusion.
You felt him go tense above you, but you didn't look at him. Your eyes were squeezed shut and you had bitten your lip to keep from crying out again. A low groan slipped out of him and his forehead bumped against your shoulder.
Surprise filled you when he didn't start to move on you. You had been sure he was only going to take what he wanted from you and his words had only reinforced that thought. The fact that he wasn't confused you. "Bofur?" you whispered.
"Why aren't you fighting me?" he said in a low voice.
You opened your eyes, but his face was still buried in your neck. "I think," you said softly, "you've been in enough fights as it is."
"Ah, lass," he sighed and your heart leapt at his tone. It was more like how he had been before. "I've done this all wrong."
Even though you couldn't hold him well with how he had your legs, you still closed them as much as you could when it felt like he was going to leave you. "No."
He didn't go far, just enough to begin kissing your neck and shoulders.
"What-" You moaned as his tongue moved over you.
"Didn't mean to hurt you," he murmured, his lips moving down your chest. "I never wanted to hurt you."
Gasping as his mouth closed around your nipple, your back arched as he sucked. Your hands lifted, fisting around either side of his hat in an effort to keep him where he was. His tongue trailed around the pebbled peak, flicking over it to make it stiffen further. Desire flooded you as he treated the other to the same pleasure.
Despite feeling like your entire body was tensing, your muscles relaxed around him, the pain easing with his every touch. When he gave a short thrust, you clenched around him, hands and thighs squeezing in pleasure.
"Better," he murmured against you, his hips beginning to move rhythmically.
You moaned as he slid deep inside you, your hips lifted enough for him to repeat the action. But even though his thrusts were deep, he wasn't moving hard on you. You could feel the tension in him, feel the need for a release that this sex wasn't going to give him. "Bofur," you gasped as he ground against you.
"Mm?"
"You said-ah, you were to f-fuck me," you panted, words nearly failing you as he kept moving.
He slowed and lifted his head. "I won't hurt you again," he said softly, his hips moving achingly slow.
"You won't."
He shook his head. "No, lass."
Moaning as he gave a short thrust, you tried to focus. "You need to," you whispered.
Bofur shook his head again, but you felt a tremble run through him.
"I need you to," you moaned, feeling him shudder in response.
"Lass, I-"
"Bofur, fuck me!" you cried, cutting him off.
The growl that left him was primal and made you tremble. You cried out again when he moved hard on you, but the sound was full of pleasure this time. His arms straightened, lifting him away from you as he began to do what you wanted.
Desperate noises spilled from your parted lips as he pounded into you. Your head pressed back against the table, your eyes squeezing shut as you felt every inch of him stroking you. His thrusts were quick and deep, driving the air out of you in gasps. Your hands fell to his chest, gripping his shirt in an attempt to hang onto some form of sanity.
It didn't work. You wanted this too much, had missed him too fiercely. Only this would banish the pain and loneliness that had been eating at you. Only this would help him let go of the sorrow and darkness consuming him. But it was also driving all thoughts from your mind, except for how much pleasure he was giving you.
Biting down on your lip, you felt your entire body shudder as your release crept closer. Your legs closed on him as much as they were able, trying to hold onto him any way you could. You tugged on his shirt, blindly pulling him down.
Bofur made a low noise, but he leaned down and kissed you roughly. Your arms slid around him, fisting in the material covering his back. You felt him jerk slightly, but he deepened the kiss and moved harder on you.
Your breath caught for a moment before pleasure exploded inside you. It hit you fast, making you scream and buck under him. You heard him growl and knew he wanted to hold you still as you writhed but he couldn't. You tightened around him, desperately wanting him to join you as each of his thrusts drove your pleasure that much higher.
Bofur broke the kiss with a raw groan, his hips slamming harshly into yours before he shuddered again. He jerked between your thighs, his muscles tensing and bunching. Gradually, he stilled, his loud pants joining your own.
You felt his forehead lightly rest on yours but you didn't have the strength to even open your eyes. All you could do was lie there and bask in the afterglow of your orgasm. That had been exactly what you had needed to erase the past months of his being gone.
"Lass," he breathed.
A soft noise was all you could do in response.
He laughed quietly, but it was strained. "As soon as I'm sure I won't drop you," Bofur said, his voice husky, "I'm going to take you to bed and love you the way you deserve."
You sighed happily, your lips curving upwards. This hadn't solved everything, but that sounded more like the Bofur you knew.
A/N: I had a request to continue the last Bofur chapter, but after the BoFA and for it to not be an au. Then this happened. I actually had an idea as soon as I read the review and it's nice to have finally written it. And for any who think that Bofur wouldn't act like this or couldn't be dark, I suggest you watch Jekyll with James Nesbitt. I saw it a couple years ago and dam it was good and helped me rationalize that this was possible. Of course, losing Thorin and the boys isn't going to do nice things to any of the Company and I think they're all going to be messed up for quite a while. But it is done now and on to the next prompt which is thankfully nowhere even close to dark! Thank you for reading once again!