Hello, hello!

I'm sorry I couldn't update sooner. I don't know what happened, my muse decided do play pranks on me. The chapter was almost done, but I couldn't end it. And while I was on the middle of it, more ideas came along and it took ages to make the connection between what I had already written.

The good news is we have another chapter coming after this one, yay \o/

But then it'll definitely be the end. Like I said before, I always knew how I would end the story, and we're finally getting there.

Thank you so much for your support and reviews. I'm glad you guys like it

I have more things to say, but only after the chapter, ok? :D

Have fun.

Chapter Eight

"Yesterday

All my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

Oh, I believe in yesterday…"

(Yesterday, Beatles)

Sif slowly leaned back on her chair, sustaining his stare whilst doing it. "Fine. I'm dying to hear."

"When I was a child, Thor was my hero. He was my role model in every way. I adored my brother. So did everyone else." She noticed the bitterness on this comment. "Thor had everything. Everything. He was the first-born, so the throne was his, by right, as you so annoyingly keep reminding me. He was loved by everyone: Mother, Father, his friends, his subjects. And me... I was nothing more than the scrawny little brother of the beloved Thor, that's all. Even his friends befriended me only because my presence was imposed in his little circle."

"That's not true!" Sif protested.

He stared at her, ignoring her protest. "You know, I resented the fact that my brother stood out in everything. But then..." He paused then, deep in thought. "…there was a time when I didn't care so much. You see, there was this girl; one of my brother's friends..." He smiled; a genuine smile, a rare sight in him. "I was impressed with her since the first day I saw her. I felt like she was the only one who treated me like she cared for me, for who I was, not Thor's little brother… Or so I thought."

Loki paused again, his eyes wandering the room, his mind somewhere in the past. "Decades passed… I can't remember the exact moment when I realized it; Thor could keep the throne and everyone's love and worshipping… I just didn't care. I wanted… simpler things." He tilted his head to look at her. "I was in love." His green orbs were locked to her brown ones and he saw the change on her features as the meaning of what he was saying sank in. "In my foolish young mind, I just had to tell you how I felt and, just like that, I would marry you and make you my princess! Wasn't it perfect? It was perfect. Just perfect!"

His expression darkened. "Stupid, isn't it? We are stupid when we are young and we get more stupid when we fall in love. I had it all planned out. Simpler things, as you call them. Love." He spat the word as if it was a curse. "But… simpler things are not as simple as they seem. Especially when you're Thor's brother." Loki got up and paced the room, to avoid looking at her. "So, at a particularly restless night, when I was at the balcony staring out at the city, I spotted Thor leaving the palace quietly. I was curious to know what was so secret he would leave in the middle of the night So I followed him. Do you know where he went?"

Sif swallowed slowly. "The waterfall."

Loki hummed an affirmative. "The waterfall. Your favorite place in the world. And he wasn't alone." There was a hint of bitter satisfaction on his face when guilt shadowed her features as she put the pieces together. "I guess I should have known what was ahead, but my subconscious refused to believe it. For a moment, I was frozen. I thought I was seeing things. Maybe I was still sleeping and it was a nightmare. But no. The sounds you made…" He slid a finger under her chin and tilted her head up. "Not even in my dreams I could have imagined the sweet sonority of my brother's name when it left your lips." He brushed his thumb softly on her lower lip. "Can you imagine how it was for me to see the woman I loved in my brother's arms? Can you imagine, for a moment, how excruciating was the pain? I can assure you it was worse than whatever you can possibly think, because it was bad enough to see you with another man, but it would be easier if it was anyone else but him!" He let go of her and she could see in his expression how much it hurt to go through the pain again.

"We… we were too young." Sif blurted out. "We were foolish enough to think we were in love and..."

"I'm not done with the fuckin' story!" Loki growled, starting his pacing again. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to collect his thoughts. "I had never felt like that before in my life. Unbearable pain and so much anger..." He took a long breath, apparently calmer. "I hated you. So much. I would have given you anything, everything, but you decided to be just another of my brother's harlots!"

In a split second, she was in front of him, but he realized it too late when he felt the slap sting on his face. "How dare you?"

"No." He rubbed his reddened cheek. "How dare you? You knew how immature he was, you knew it wouldn't last with all his craving for going about in adventures. How could you settle for this? How could you do this to yourself?"

Sif took a deep calming breath. His words were harsh because of the anger but he was right. She could feel it wouldn't last, Thor wasn't the settle-down type. Not back then anyway. "That is why I broke off our commitment. Thor was a good friend, but we didn't work as a couple. I was just as immature as he was, I guess. We only committed because Odin demanded him to, because he wanted him to be responsible as a prince should be. I didn't want to get married. Neither did he."

The two of them stood there in silence, each with their own painful thoughts, until Loki spoke again. "I thought nothing could be more painful than that night, but then came the public announcement of your betroth. I couldn't stop thinking it should be me there, by your side, smiling like an idiot, thinking about how lucky I was." He paused. "So I cut your precious hair." The mischievous smile was back, but still it look like a faint shadow of his usual one. "You loved that hair, didn't you? So did Thor." He looked disgusted as he went on. "He wouldn't shut up about your golden braids and how the sun reflected on them..." Loki reached out, caressing the length of a lock of her hair, letting it slip from his fingers as he watched. She let out a surprised gasp when he gripped her by her shoulder, pulling her a little closer to him. "I got into your room that night intending to harm you, to hurt you... I didn't know how but I thought if I could hurt you, it would ease my own pain. I was blind by hate, but I couldn't do it." His grip softened as did his voice. "When I saw you sleeping, I couldn't bring myself to hurt you. No matter how much you hurt me. So I played a prank on you. Pathetic, isn't it? I didn't know what else to do. It made me feel surprisingly better though. When your hair grew back, black as the night, just as my own, I felt we were connected. You could now feel what it was like to be different from everyone else." Letting go of her, he walked away, to face a particular piece of antique art on the wall. "You have no idea how much I hated you, Lady Sif, but I hated Thor so much more." His hands balled into fists as he turned to look at her. "I couldn't help but think somehow he knew how I felt about you. He knew it and he took you on purpose. He was just rubbing on my face that no matter what I wanted, he would always get it, simply because he was better than me!"

"Thor would never..."

"Oh, yes. Pardon me for forgetting for a moment how fuckin' perfect he is!" He clenched his jaw, trying to steady his breathing. "How did you like the story, my lady? After your harsh accusations, how does it feel to know if there is a monster, you helped creating it?"

Sif eyes glistened with tears. She understood it now. Loki felt broken-hearted, betrayed, unwanted… He was hurt, twice, and one time was her fault. She was the reason his hate for Thor has gotten worse over the years. This was his way of lashing out after all the bad things he'd been through. It was the worst way to deal with his pain, but it was the way he found it.

"I don't know what to say, Loki. Except... I'm really sorry."

"I don't need your pity, Sif!"

"I do not pity you." She shook her head. "I'm sorry you felt like that because of me. I'm sorry I caused you so much pain. I wonder... if things would have been different... would we be in this mess?"

"Different how?"

"Maybe you wouldn't feel so lonely, so rejected if I had been by your side when you learned about your heritage. You wouldn't feel so betrayed if I hadn't dated Thor back then. Maybe you wouldn't hate him so much and put so much effort on harming him. Things could have been different if you could have counted on me."

"Maybe, maybe! It doesn't matter now, does it? What's done is done."

A knock on the door interrupted them. "Excuse me, your Majesties, Lady Frigga sent me. Dinner is served."

Loki took a deep breath. For a fleeting moment, she caught a glimpse of who he really was underneath the Trickster persona. She saw the lonely adopted boy, overshadowed by his big brother, hurt and scarred by life. The boy who wanted his father approval so badly he messed things up. "I lost my appetite. Enjoy your dinner."

Sif was so focused on her plate as she ate she didn't realize Frigga was watching her intently. The older woman wiped her mouth with a napkin when she finished her meal and rested her chin on her entwined fingers to look at her son's wife.

"Did you know Odin and I didn't get along when we got married?"

Sif looked up from her plate, startled when the deep silence was broken. "No, milady."

Frigga smiled and poured more wine on her glass. "We didn't want to get married. Our fathers betrothed us to each other and we were forced into marriage at a very young age. And I hated. I hated to be forced to be with him. So I tortured him in any way I could." She giggled. "There was this one time when I locked him out of our chambers. He was too proud to ask a servant to get a spare key, or even get a temporary room for him to sleep, because then everybody would know the prince was kicked out from his own room by his wife."

Sif chuckled, relaxing a little for the first time since her conversation with Loki. "What did he do?"

"He entered a room on the floor below and climbed up the balcony!" Frigga shook her head, sipping her wine, lost in happy memories. "Poor Odin. I put him through chaos. I was certain if I angered him enough, he would send me back to my parents' house and I would be free at last. I wanted to be a fighter, not a queen. But my father wouldn't have it. I guess he betrothed me to the prince because I couldn't cut his throat in his sleep. Too much guards."

They shared a laugh and Sif felt really close to her that moment. "And Odin? Did he hate to be married to you too?"

"I don't know if he hated it, but he wasn't happy either. Not with a wife that yelled and played pranks on him. What I didn't know back then was that Odin was making every effort to make us work, because he didn't want to let his father down. He was afraid if I got pissed enough and went away, his father would consider him unworthy of being king if he couldn't even keep his wife happy. So he tried his best to be patient with me and he did everything he could to please me, to make me stay. I thought it was nonsense. That marriage was doomed to fail. Why everyone seemed to ignore that was beyond me. We were so different and we didn't even like each other! It was a tragedy announced."

"What happened, then?"

Frigga smiled. "The craziest thing. We fell in love." Sif smiled back at her. "There was this one night when I was especially annoying and he yelled at me for the first time, his patience running out. I was surprised it took him that much. I yelled back at him, saying 'If you want a proper wife, why don't you send me away and get one of the thousands of ladies in Asgard swooning over you all the time?' You know what he said to me?" Sif shook her head. "He said 'I don't want a lady! I want you!'" Frigga's voice faltered and her eyes filled with tears. "He said I was right, there were thousands of ladies around the realm, but I was the only 'me'. He didn't want some ordinary girl swooning over him. He admired me for who I was and he wanted to earn my affection. I could go away if I wanted, but if I decided to stay… he would make it worthy."

"I never took Odin for a romantic."

Frigga wiped the tears trailing down her face. "He isn't, really. He just loved me. When he confessed it to me, I was shocked. I'd never thought he felt like that. So I decided to give it a chance. If he was putting so much effort on us, might as well give a try. And you know the rest." She smiled, drinking the rest of her wine and getting up. "Well, it's late. I should go to bed." As she walked to the door, she touched Sif's hand on top of the table. "I still believe if there is anyone who can bring Loki from the dark edge he is dangling from, it's you, Sif. Thank you for the talk."

"No, milady. Thank you."

Ok, so we all know in the comics Thor and Sif were betrothed to each other, but then Jane happened and he got confused and asked for a break.

In the movie, it's obvious they're not together, but it's not clear if they ever were.

I like to think they had been together once, but it didn't work out, so they remained good friends.

This fic started before TDW was released, in which they made Sif pining over him, different from the first movie. (I don't agree with this portrait of her, btw, I think she is too much of a strong woman to play this role of 'poor me, he doesn't want me, he loves the mortal, I'll just stare at him longingly and sigh'. I had to get this out of my chest :D )

I wanted to express the pain Loki felt, and how this episode changed who he was so strongly it still hurt after all these centuries. And I didn't want it to sound too mushy, that's why I re-wrote his lines a thousand times and that's why it took me so long to finish it. I didn't want it to get over-melodramatic. I hope I accomplished this.

It explains both his supposed hate for Sif and reason to place with the others on the pile "Why I hate my brother so much". I mean, the guy can have any woman on the kingdom and he comes and takes the only woman his brother loves. That's gotta hurt, right? It distorts the way you see things and changes you deeply.

I wanted to give a reason for Loki's prank on her years ago, and was the starting point of their hate over the years

About Frigga's story… this was a product of TDW. Have you seen that woman fight? She is (was) amazing, a total badass! I saw a parallel between her and Sif right away and I thought it would be nice for them to bond, since we don't know much about Sif's parents. I wouldn't expect any less of Odin's wife. And if you don't ship Frigga and Odin, you're wrong, go to a dark corner and rethink your life choices :)

This chapter was shorter because I didn't want a cliffhanger again. It's too frustrating, isn't it? Sorry about that. Probably, the next one will be a little longer.

I hope to post the last chapter really soon.

And thank you, Amber Sunstrike, for pointing that out, because I was really concerned about remaining in character, I hate when people change personalities of characters in fanfiction. Their personality is what made us like them in the first place, right?

Again, thank you for your reviews, if it wasn't for your support, I think I would have given up on the first chapter out of insecurity =P