A very special chapter coming up after this one! please keep telling me if you like it or not, you make my day! thank you everyone!

It took all the strength John was left with to give Sherlock's hand a firm squeeze and a reassuring smile to the man who was fighting very hard to stay awake. He then stroked his curls and let him drift again under the influence of the medicines. He needed sleep. And John needed to get away. As soon as he felt Sherlock drift into a peaceful slumber John rose slowly, putting the limp hand beside a limp Sherlock and almost ran out of the room trying very hard not to break down on his way to the washroom. He closed the door of the washroom with a bang and slid down along it to the floor, a fist in his mouth holding back the loud sob trying to rip through him. He could feel the tears flowing and wetting his cheeks, running down his neck and soaking his shirt.

I left this man! This child of a man I left! Oh! What had gotten into me? Am I not the person who knew him best? I was looking for clues to find out his feelings for me. Now he has given me all I can handle. He called me instead of an ambulance. Me! me? the person who left him, didn't understand him. He trusted me with his life again. This would have not happened if I didn't leave him, if I was there with him like always, just in time to move him away from that god forsaken knife which pierced through his body. Oh god and he's sorry. Even now, lying there, he's sorry. I should have known Sherlock. I shouldn't have judged you like others. Yes what you said was wrong but then there are so many times when you say horrible things to people, I over look them, I understand you don't mean to hurt always, sometimes you don't even understand that it was not nice. Oh you child. Why didn't I understand then also? Now I do. You don't have to tell me Sherlock, you don't have to be sorry. I promise I won't leave you again Sherlock. As long as I'm alive. I don't care what you say to me, if you say horrible things again I will scold you, make you understand, if you stay quiet I'll make you talk, I won't leave you like that again. I'll never.

After pouring his heart out crying John steadied himself. He had to be with Sherlock, for Sherlock. Now was the time to mend things and he would not be able to do it if he lost control. He washed his face and straightened up. Looking into the mirror in front of him, a thought crossed his mind.

Did he know that I was near? Oh what would have happened if I was not? How could he get stabbed like that? With that kind of reflexes? What had happened?

The room was filled with warm sunlight, the curtains were withdrawn, Sherlock was looking outside the window. The bed had been raised a little by the attending nurse. It was midday, still no sign of John. Sherlock didn't even look at the food tray lying in front of him. He wanted to see John. If that was not possible he would just go home.

Was it possible that he left and would be back only when his duty hours began?

His heart sank at the thought. Just then his door swung open and like sunbeams invading a dark room John entered, smiling at him, warm, radiating. Sherlock sighed and relaxed. He was here.

John came close to him, his smell filled Sherlock's senses. When was the last time you came close to me John? The day I cheated you in the name of a kiss? When I vainly tried to stop you from leaving?

Sherlock swallowed and watched John longingly, he wished very hard that he had forgiven him, it sounded impossible to himself but then John was not him, he was better. He was John.

John took the readings of the monitors attached to Sherlock intently, all the while fully aware of Sherlock's gaze following him. After a while he sat beside Sherlock on the bed and took his hand in his. Looking with all the love and care in the world he asked him

"How are you feeling this morning?"

Without knowing Sherlock pouted. Why was John so late? Why wasn't he the first thing he saw opening his eyes?

Sensing the petulance John stroked Sherlock's cheek with the back of his hand and asked again, more softly

"How do you feel Sherlock?"

"I thought you'd be late today." Sherlock replied throatily the petulance still there, also the pout.

"I didn't leave Sherlock."

This was enough encouragement for the man. He pulled John closer with both his hands and John complied. The amazing sight of a very cranky, pouty, petulant Sherlock melted his heart. He leaned closer and put a hand on Sherlock's warm cheek. Sherlock leaned into the touch.

"I watched you sleep all night." John whispered.

Sherlock's eyes widened and his breath hitched. He would still do something like that for me?

"Now be good and eat." John ordered softly and withdrew his hands. Sherlock whimpered. John gave a small laugh. He held the glass with the juice close to Sherlock's mouth. Sherlock didn't expect this, his eyes widened again and he silently complied, sipping without moving his gaze from John's eyes. After that toasts followed the same path. John didn't remember seeing Sherlock so compliant before. How would he? This was the first time ever. John took a tissue from the tray and wiped Sherlock's mouth tenderly.

"Would you like some sleep now?" Asked John covering Sherlock properly with the blanket.

"I've been out for sixteen hours straight, are you kidding?" The consulting detective was back.

John sighed and looked up to the man. "The more you rest is the faster you get better and get out of this place."

Okay, so this was John and he had hit bull's eye. Sherlock pouted again.

"Okay, maybe a bit later."

Sherlock's petulance gave away at the indulgence. He smiled.

"Would you like to tell me how this happened?" John asked getting serious.

"Oh it was just a robbery, new kid, giddy, struck out of fear, I'll just give the police the description, it'll be very easy for them…"

"You don't have to." John said.

"What?" Sherlock asked surprised.

"He was found in front of the yard this morning all tied up and senseless."

"Homeless network." Sherlock said gravely. John nodded.

"What I was really asking is that how could an unsteady, unprofessional kid stab you and get away."

"Well it was a dark alley and I was tired…" Sherlock started trying to sound nonchalant.

"Sherlock." He was stopped mid-sentence by a very serious and irritated John.

"I got distracted."

"By what?"

Sherlock looked away, the petulance back, lips firmly pressed together.

John got up suddenly and made way for the door.

"I saw you." Came the reply from a very alarmed baritone.

John stopped in his tracks and turned back to sit where he was.

Sherlock was feeling angry at losing his control to John, agitated by the thought that John would blame himself for what happened and terrified about the result all this was going to have. John seemed to have forgiven him, at least he seemed so, Sherlock didn't want to say or do anything that would make things go reverse. He firmly avoided John's questioning gaze. After a while he had to give up when John again tried to rise. He firmly grasped John's hand and pulled. John stopped, fear and plea in Sherlock's grey blue eyes.

"I was trying to divert his attention when I saw you getting down from the cab. It all happened in that few moments."

"Why didn't you call the ambulance instead?"

"I trusted you more."

"Something could have gone wrong Sherlock!" said John frustrated.

"No, not with you." Sherlock said with a confident smile.

John fought the urge to kiss that face. Not the right time. Instead he looked at the ground.

"It was not your fault John. Please don't blame yourself."

"Blaming myself won't heal you." John said quietly.

"Then why are you? I'm rather happy that I saw you. You saved me John!"

John looked up. Grey blue eyes extremely persuasive, apprehensive.

The nurse came in, straightened Sherlock's bed and administered medicine. Sherlock looked very reluctant and clung on to John's hands.

"You need to sleep Sherlock." Said John firmly as if scolding a child.

The child shook his curls even more firmly, eyes sleepy, needy, fearful of letting John go "No."

"Please."

"Please be here until I fall asleep."

"I will."

"And when I wake up?"

"I'll be here, always."

Sherlock settled in his pillow, eyes fixed on John, gaze searching reassurance, holding onto his hands. He kept looking until he fell asleep.