Disclaimer: I'm just playing with Suzanne Collins' characters and her world. They're hers. Not mine.
The Talk, pt 3 or The Final Embarrassment
Madge would never be able to look at Mr. Abernathy again. His extensive, and obviously incorrect, knowledge of sexually transmitted diseases and his seemingly endless list of increasingly bizarre, and what she could only pray were fictitious, sex acts had given her nightmares.
Her mother had offered her latex-free condoms, and Vick had assured her that despite sounding unappealing, sex was apparently not too bad because people continued to engage in it.
Yes, the day of 'The Talk' was a red-letter day in Madge Undersee's life. It stands to reason it could only get better. Right?
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When Gale saw her on Sunday at the Victors' Village, he was teaching snares and she was bringing her father's papers from the Capitol, they seemed to come to a silent agreement to make no mention of the whole ordeal and to avoid each other at all costs. She almost seemed to not even register that such an event had even occurred and it baffled him.
Haymitch had passed out, and after helping drag him to his couch Madge had gone with Peeta to look at something and Gale to Katniss'. After Prim had pulled Katniss away for some help with her goat, Gale had decided it was time to head home.
He let Katniss' door slam and banged down the back steps. He stopped, frozen in place, one foot hanging off the bottommost step, when he saw her.
They'd done it all day, made it into the homestretch, could've avoided each other for a whole week more and possibly let the awkwardness abate, but of course that couldn't happen.
"Is Katniss coming?" Madge squeaks out.
He shook his head, "Helping Prim."
Which is just my luck.
They were going to the same way, no way to avoid it, they'd just have to deal with it.
They started down the road, stony silence stretched out between them. Gale didn't mind silence, and he didn't think she did either, but it was suffocating.
Finally, it got to be too much. Something had to be said.
"So…Vick, he, uh, came home the other day and he-"
She'd stopped in the middle of the road. Her face, moment before so passive, was now frozen in terror.
Surely she couldn't have not realized Vick would go home and blabber his little plan to his brother? It involved him. He was central to its success.
Judging by the way her mouth dropped and her eyes widened just a hair, though, it really hadn't occurred to her.
"No. Please tell me he didn't."
Her pale cheeks were turning an intense shade of scarlet and her breath was catching.
Gale tried not to laugh, "Yeah, he did."
She covered her face with her hands, "Oh, god."
He thought about giving her a comforting pat on the back, siblings could be real pains in the ass sometimes, and she was getting a firsthand experience at just how big a pain that really was. Touching her, though, in any way, shape, or form, at the moment, seemed like a very bad idea.
She might get the wrong idea.
"I thought I put it to rest," she groaned into her hands.
"Yeah, well, he's persistent."
They just stood in the middle of the road, him rubbing his neck and her with her face buried in her hands, for several very long minutes.
"Look , I don't know what he was thinking." Gale made a little gesture at her then to himself with a chuckle, "Not gonna happen."
She nodded emphatically. As though the thought of them together was the most repulsive thing she'd ever had to imagine. He felt a little offended, made a small grimace at the slight.
Her lips puckered in a frown, "Why are you laughing?"
His irritation deepened and so did his look, "I'm no-well, I am, it's a little funny, right?"
"Absolutely hysterical." She took a deep breath, the color continuing to burst on her cheeks, "I'm not that bad. Surely you've done a little bit worse?"
He had, in fact, done quite a bit worse. Though not nearly as often as everyone thought. There must be another 'Gale Hawthorne' out there with a very impressive bedpost. Gale suspects Thom had something to do with that wild rumor.
Surely he hadn't offended her? She was the one bobbing her head like an idiot, like he was the absolute worst thing she could wake up to in her bed.
"You don't know what I've done," he snapped.
"Oh, of course I do, Gale. Everyone in the District knows what you do up on that nasty slag heap. Even Haymitch Abernathy knows. He's convinced you have lice, the clap, and Dutch elm disease, and parvo."
Parvo? How the hell would-nevermind.
"Wait," he growled. "Why the hell were you talking about my sex life with Haymitch? You didn't tell him about all this, did you?"
Surely she wouldn't have told him.
"No I didn't tell him," she looks around a little uncomfortably. "My mother did."
"You told your mother?"
His mother knew, of course, but he hadn't told her. Why would he?
It wasn't something he could imagine Madge doing, either. Her mother was a little off. The thought of her running to her to tell her the little boy from the Seam was trying to pass her off to his brother for some kind of marriage of convenience was not easy to conjure up.
"No, she was listening in. She heard Vick and she just sort of told Mr. Abernathy when he came by."
Gale was picturing it, Madge's dainty mother, fretting over her only child, warning her against the wicked, filthy boy from the Seam wanting to steal her purity or some crap like that. Then recruiting Haymitch, the filthy louse…
"Bet she was really happy to hear it," he muttered. She smiled weakly.
"Look, let's just pretend none of this happened. Obviously, neither one of us would do that with the other."
"Because I've got lice and Dutch elm disease," Gale snorted.
"I didn't say that. That was Mr. Abernathy. Calm down. You're the one that looked so disgusted at the thought of touching me," she crossed her arms, lips puckering again.
"I didn't-I did not!" He pointed harshly at her, "You're the one who looked like you would run away if I got too close to you with my parvo covered hands."
"I don't think you have parvo and I wouldn't run away."
Her eyes widen just a fracture when she realizes what she's said.
Gale feels a little smirk crawl up his lips. "Wouldn't run away, huh?"
Her jaw clenches, "You know what I meant."
Gale knew he shouldn't pick at it. He knew perfectly well what she meant, but she so rarely let him get under her skin, always had her face set and her cards to her chest, it was a little invigorating to toy with her.
"What if I asked you to go up to the slag heap? Would you run away then?"
She gives him a withered look, "All the way to the Capitol."
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He laughs, his deep, booming laugh that she loves so much, as they start off toward their homes, the crushing silence vanished and replaced with a more comfortable one.
The knowledge that they both find Vick's little plan somewhat silly is pleasant.
Though not as pleasant as the fact that, if only in jest, Gale would even think of taking her to the slag heap. Not that she would go. It's filthy and degrading. But he could associate her with it, and for some twisted reason she likes that.
When they come to her porch her mother is in the swing, staring vacantly off in the distance. Madge doesn't even think she's noticed her arrival until she speaks, still not looking at her.
"Hello, love. Good day?"
She gets up and walks toward the door.
Madge gives her a tight smile, "Okay I guess."
Her mother's wide blue eyes catch Gale in the periphery and she turns to him, "Hello, dear. Did Madge change her mind?"
Oh, god, no. We just got past this.
Gale's brow furrows, "Changed her mind about what?"
"Nothi-"
"About having sex with you, dear. She said you wouldn't want to, that you didn't like her, but she's such a pretty girl I couldn't imagine it." She smiles emptily at Madge over her shoulder, "Love, he's such a big boy, you'll want to be careful your first time. And change your sheets. Mrs. Oberst won't like it if she has to do it for you."
Madge covers her head with her arms. Maybe if she hoped hard enough the ground would open up and swallow her down, save her from her mother's cheerful endorsement of physical relations with Gale Hawthorne.
Her mother looks back at Gale and pats his shoulder, "Take it slow with her, please." Then she floats back toward the door, leaning into Madge as she does and whispering loudly, "I put the latex free ones in your bedside table."
Then she disappears back into the house, leaving Madge to her humiliation.
She peeks out from between her arms and expects for Gale to be smirking at her again, to say something crude, but he's gone pale as she already was.
"Did she just-"
"She's," Madge waves her hand vaguely, "you know…a little crazy."
"What did she put in your bedside table?"
Madge gets a fit of the nervous giggles, "Oh, nothing! Nothing. She's just…crazy."
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The Mayor's wife, Madge's mother, being so unconcerned about his apparent intentions to take her daughter to her room and have, what she must image to be, a quick and dirty roll between her expensive sheets is a bit confusing to Gale.
He's also fairly certain she just told Madge she's stocked her up on condoms. Discussing whether or not she knew how to keep more little Hawthornes from coming into the world with her mad mother couldn't have been pleasant. It hadn't been enjoyable for Gale the first the first time and it definitely wasn't the other night, and his mother is perfectly sane.
Madge is practically radiating heat she's so completely embarrassed. He feels the need to spare her it further.
"I think I'll just go."
She nods mutely, not even able to meet his eyes.
"Gale!" Vick is at the gate, unlatching it and bounding up to them.
Because this just can't get worse.
He comes to a stop in front of the two of them, beaming. "Good, you're both here, I can do it all at once."
"Do what?" Gale's almost afraid to know.
"Apologize!"
Madge snaps up, shaking her head, "Oh, no, Vick, you really, really, don't have to."
"No, mom said I have to," he answers. His face becomes deadly serious, "Madge, I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable and prop-o-sitioned you." He rolls his eyes, "Even if I still do think those chemicals would make you happy."
He carries on, oblivious to the fact that he is, once again, making her uncomfortable.
"I guess you could accidentally get pregnant, like mom did with Gale, and then you'd have a baby, and then you'd get a weak bladder, or something, and have to pee a lot. I don't know, mom was explaining it. She told me not to tell you that part, but having to pee all the time is probably pretty annoying, so I think you should know. And, babies are pretty big and it would have to come out of your vagina, so I just think you should know. They're way bigger than a penis."
He's breathless as he nods, holding up his hands to show her just how big a baby is, as if she's unaware, compared to what he must assume is an average sized male sex organ.
Gale covers his face with his hand. He loves his siblings, he really does, but at moments like this he wonders if being an only child wouldn't be such a bad thing.
Madge is trying to force a smile, but it comes off as a grimace."Oh…thank you, Vick. That was," she searches for a work, "very…informative."
He grins then turns to Gale.
Oh hell no!
Gale tries to stop him, but he's already off.
"Gale, I'm sorry I tried to get you and Madge to get married for sex. Mom said you have to love each other, not just like, each other to get married, even if you can have sex with just liking each other. Or not, that's what Thom and Rory said. Mom told them to shut up, but I remember the girls at school you've taken to the slag heap and I don't think you like them half as much as you like Madge, so I think they're right on that." He takes another deep breath and continues to rattle, "And I'm sorry I told Madge you were hairy."
Vick turns back to Madge, standing petrified with all encompassing embarrassment, to Gale's left.
"Madge, Gale isn't hairy. Well, he is, but Rory wasn't lying, it is normal. I found another book and it called them secondary sexual characteristics. It just means he's hit puberty."
Madge coughs to cover a snort of laughter, "Oh…good to know."
"Yeah, just like you have breasts and stuff. You have really nice ones, by the way, Rory said so too. Oh, and hair. You have hair in weird places too, I guess. But yours is probably lighter, ri-" He stops himself when Gale shoots him a look telling him that was definitely on the list of things he wasn't supposed to talk about or ask about. Especially with a lady.
Vick sighs, looking up at them both, waiting for them to, hopefully, accept his apology.
Madge gives him as bright a smile as she can manage, "Thank you, Vick."
He beams and turns to Gale, who rolls his eyes. It's his fault for not telling him some of this crap before Rory got to him, after all.
"It's…fine, Vick."
Vick nods, proud of his good job.
"Madge can I use your bathroom?"
She gives him a weak wave off and he dashes toward the house.
After a few seconds she looks at Gale, a slight smile on her face.
"Congratulations on hitting puberty."
He can't help himself. He lets out a boom of laughter and her smile brightens, becomes more genuine.
"Thanks. You too."
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Behind them there's an outburst of laughter. They turn and find Rory. He'd been out of sight, just within earshot of the whole ordeal, behind the big tree in Madge's back yard. He's doubled over, practically purple and breathless from laughing.
Their mother had probably sent him to keep an eye on Vick making his apology to Madge. Or he was just being obnoxious and sensed a catastrophe brewing. Each was as likely as the other.
"Enjoying the show, you little asshole?"
Rory is laughing too hard to formulate an answer, just gives Gale a pair of thumbs up.
Gale makes to lunge at him, makes a swipe and just misses catching his brother's collar by a fingertip, and Rory bounds off toward the fence.
"Too slow, Jackass!" He shouts, still laughing, as he vaults the fence, "Puberty was a lot nicer to you than Gale, Madge!"
Madge bursts into laughter as Gale mutters 'I gotta go' before chasing after Rory, shouting obscenities she's never even heard before at his back.
He's going to kill that little shit, no matter how right he is about Madge's puberty.