Disclaimer: I'm just playing with Suzanne Collins' characters and her world. They're hers. Not mine.

The Talk, pt 5, or Stocking Up

Taking his brothers to the store was not Gale's idea of the perfect end to his work day.

With the Hob gone, though, his mother needing thread, and the little monsters bouncing off the walls of the house and driving her crazy, he really felt he had no choice. At least he didn't have to drag Posy along. Her eyes were far bigger than his paycheck.

It wasn't large, just a general store with a small selection of crappy Capitol processed goods. Gale felt himself missing the old trading post more than ever on the days he had to visit the shithole.

Both boys disappeared the moment their feet touched down on the grimy tile, a bad sign. Gale practically ran through to the sewing section to find the thread. The quicker they left the happier he'd be.

As soon as his one and only need was firmly in his hand, he started searching out his siblings.

It shouldn't be hard, he thought, they were all fairly tall and none of the shelving was very high.

After several minutes he spotted them, standing like a pair of conspirators in the farthest corner of the building. Gale didn't know the layout of the store very well, so he had no idea what they were examining so intently, it couldn't be good though. Not with his luck.

Snaking his way through the low shelving, he finally made his way to them, peaking over their shoulders to see what had so grabbed their attention.

For the love of…

"Put those down!" He hissed, snatching the box from them and tossing it forcefully back with the others.

"Gale! I was reading that," Vick tells him, reaching for it again. "How are you supposed to find what size you are?"

"You don't," Gale tells him. He's ten.

"Ribbed for her pleasure," Rory wags his eyebrows as he picks up a dark colored box with neon writing on it. He tosses it to Gale. "Probably wanna hold onto that. Might help you find that clitoris."

Gale considers smacking him with box, but he doesn't want to the elderly shop owner to come over and investigate the three boys digging through his small selection of condoms.

Vick takes the box from Gale and squints at it, "I dunno. That seems like it might make it kinda uncomfortable." He looks up, full of utmost seriousness, "Couldn't it get caught on something?"

Having never even seen something even remotely close to a 'ribbed' condom, Gale just pressed his hands to his face. "I don't know, Vick."

He just didn't know.

Rory snorts. "You know, for someone with your reputation at the slag heap, you really are clueless."

Gale narrows his eyes at him. He's half tempted to tell the little shit that most of those rumors were crap, lies perpetuated by Thom. He doesn't though. Those rumors are a pretty good ego boosts for him, something he finds he needs more and more as his time in the mines increases.

He grabs the box from Vick again and hurls it at Rory's head. All thoughts of being investigated by the store owner gone from his mind.

"They didn't sell this crap at the Hob." Not that he would have wasted money on them anyway. He'd had some older boys show him how to make one out of animal intestines early on, just after his dad died. They worked perfectly fine.

"Besides," Gale shot the box a little smirk, "If you're doing it right you don't need it, so I definitely don't need 'ribbing'."

His smirk slipped off at the looks on each of his brothers' faces: Rory's triumphant and Vick's a little frightened. Why was he bragging about his sexual prowess to a boy whose voice was just starting to crack and another that was just now realizing he liked breasts?

He groaned internally and grabbed the box from Rory, tossing it back to the shelf again. He needs to get out of the store.

"Gale?"

As tempted as he was to ignore Vick's tiny voice, he couldn't. When he turns he finds the boy has stopped and is picking up yet another box of condoms.

"Why do they need to be flavored?" His nose wrinkles. "I didn't read anything about them being able to taste down there…"

Rory bursts into laughter. "They can't, stupid. It's for the mouth thing."

Vick's brow knits and he looks back down at the box, miming the words 'mouth thing'.

"It's when they get down on their knees and-"

Gale clamps his hand over Rory's mouth. They aren't talking about that in the middle of the store.

A look of dawning comprehension falls over Vick. His eyes widen and his mouth gapes just a little. His nose wrinkles, "Ew!"

He's so disgusted that he tosses the 'fruit flavored' condoms away with more force than he probably intended.

"Why?" He shudders, looking at Gale, "Why would anyone do that?"

"It must be fun," Rory snickers as he pulls Gale's hand from his mouth. Gale puts his other hand over, holding a little tighter this time.

"They-it-uh…" Gale has no explanation. Personally, he wouldn't, but as he'd only ever been on the receiving end…

"But you pee outta there!" Vick gags. "Then they do that, then you kiss them, and-urgh!"

Rory wiggles free and dives for the box, rolling out into the main aisle. "Look Gale! It has assorted berry flavors! Undersee likes berries, doesn't she?"

Vick shoots him a look, "Madge wouldn't do that. Not unless someone made her."

Gale groans, stomps over and yanks the box from Rory, then hears a gasp from a few feet away. He looks up and sees the Undersees' irritable old housekeeper, Opine or Overt or something like that. She's with her granddaughter, a tall, freckle-faced girl with wide eyes fixed on the box now crushed in Gale's hand.

If she didn't have a bad opinion of him already, which he's sure she did, she didn't seem to hold anyone in good graces, she certainly would think the worst of him now.

Her ancient eyes narrow on the box, then flicker up to Gale before she clamps her hands over her granddaughter's ears, "Those won't keep the crabs at bay, young man." She tells the girl to go wait by the counter then stomps over to Gale, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him down to her level. "If I see so much as one stain, one creepy crawly, find any little trace of you or your littlefriend in any wastebasket, I will castrate you."

"I won't be cleaning up after you and that girl's little romps, and woe betide either one of you if I hear one grunt or moan." Her mouth forms a cool smile as she gives him a little shove before heading to her granddaughter, waiting at the counter.

He doesn't even feel Rory stand up, face contorted in disgust. "Ew, you just got sex talked by an old lady. Sick."

Gale does, in fact, feel a little queasy. That Madge's housekeeper would think that about her, would think so little of her, is a little irritating. She's a good girl, annoyingly good, in fact. He doesn't really understand the animosity the old lady has for her.

He puts the box back, tells Vick and Rory to wait outside, and heads to the counter.

The cashier boy rings him up, tosses the spool of thread in, then, to Gale's horror, throws in one of the boxes of condoms.

"What are you doing?" He tries frantically to push the box out.

"Mrs. Oberst paid for it. Said she didn't want to be, uh, cleaning up any 'leftover Seam lotion'," the boy's ears turn bright red.

Before Gale knows what's happening the boy throws in another box, this time one of the 'berry flavored and ribbed' variety, eyes flickering warily to Gale before mumbling, "I've heard things."

I just quit.

Irritated, Gale grabs the bag, muttering to himself about everyone losing their minds, and rushes out the door.

He turns on the spot, searching out the sources of his misery, only to find them chatting amicably with, of all people, Peeta Mellark.

There is a god and he hates me. It was the only explanation.

Mellark is standing, arms crossed, and a very intent look on his face as Vick animatedly tells him what Gale can only assume is something of monumental embarrassment. Mostly because Rory is doubled over in laughter behind him.

Gale jogs over, he needs to put a stop to this as soon as possible.

"What-"

Mellark holds his hand up. Up close, Gale can see he's fighting a smile.

"Gale, please, I really need to hear the rest of this."

No. You really don't.

Vick takes a breath. "-but that's just a secondary sex characteristic, so he's really not that hairy."

Gale feels his face burn.

"Oh? Did Gale teach you all that?"

Mellark is smiling calmly awaiting his answer, which, of course, a beaming Vick is all too happy to give.

"He taught me some, but I read about most of it. I know a lot about breasts and vaginas now." Vick's face lights up, "Hey, Peeta, do you know what the cli-"

Gale lunges and covers his brother's mouth.

Mellark's eyebrow arch skyward, an amused sort of grin forms on his lips. "What was that, Vick?"

"Piss off, Mellark," Gale growls as he flips Vick over his shoulder. He wants to get as far away from the gingerbread boy as he can.

Unfortunately Vick's foot catches the bag, spilling the contents onto the ground at their feet, flavored and ribbed condoms all.

Rory looks like he'd just been told school was cancelled. His eyes widen and he lunges for the boxes, laughing gleefully. Vick stills and looks appropriately shocked as he eyes the mess.

Mellark's expression mutes, his mouth flattens into a thin line. For what is probably the first time in his life he doesn't have the words for the situation.

"So…uh, having a party or something, Gale?"

Gale glares at him, "No. That stupid houseke-"

"Look, strawberry flavored!" Rory has ripped open the lurid box and pulled several packages from it, waving them triumphantly in the air. He tosses a handful at Mellark who catches them before they hit him square in the face. "Practice safe sex!"

Gale has the sudden urge to knock into Mellark and make him drop all the condoms.

Mellark's cheeks turn pink slightly, but he nods, turning one of the black wrappers over in his hand. "Hmm. 'Berry blast'. Surprisingly accurate and yet still a little disturbing."

He looks down at the pile on the sidewalk then up to Gale with a small smirk, "Uh, just so you know, I don't think these protect against tree fungus, though they might help keep you from spreading any zoogenic illnesses you may have acquired."

Gale narrows his eyes.

I'm going to kill him and his asshole brothers.

Mellark tries to reign in his smirk a little as Vick twists on Gale's shoulder, he's getting too big to be carried, even this way.

"What's a 'zoogenic illness'? And how would Gale get one?"

Giving Mellark a warning glare, he isn't sure what a 'zoogenic illness' is, but he can guess, Gale quickly grumbles, "Nothing. Just one of Haymitch's drunken…things."

And that particular bit of nonsense had spread faster than any real disease could ever hope.

"Is that where it started?" Mellark grins, "My brothers heard it from Delly Cartwright."

Haymitch Abernathy is a dead man. As soon as the electricity to the fence is back off, he's dragging that worthless drunk out and chocking him with a handful of 'Razzle Dazzle Raspberry' condoms. Thanks to the Undersees' insane housekeeper he now has plenty.

"Okay, so, do I even actually want to know why you have two boxes of condoms?"

Gale runs his free hand over his face.

"Look, Mellark," he doesn't even know where to start, "that stupid housekeeper bought them. I don't, I mean, I do, I would need them. I don't 'cause I'm busy…working."

He needs to stop talking. He's just making it worse.

"What housekeeper?"

Gale blanks. Hadn't Vick just given him the run down of the whole embarrassing tale? Judging by his blank expression, the answer was no.

"Madge Undersee's," Rory tells him as he gathers the condoms back into their box. Seeing Mellark's still baffled expression Rory further elaborates. "That's why Vick's been looking up all this stuff. 'Cause he was trying to get Gale and her to get married so they could have sex, so they could release endorphins or something, right Vick?"

Gale can feel Vick nodding against his back.

Mellark grimaces, gives Gale a sympathetic look.

"Wow. I'm suddenly very glad I'm the youngest." He leans around Gale, down to where Vick's head is on Gale's back. "Well, Vick, that was a very…thoughtful of you…I think."

"I thought so."

Mellark chuckles, "Yeah, but it's probably not the best idea to ask a girl that sort of thing."

Vick sighs, "I know. I apologized."

Mellark pales, apparently not having thought Vick would have asked Madge something like that already. How wrong he was.

Rory snickers, "I think Vick aimed too high. She's outta Gale's league. He's crabby and dirty and kind of a jerk, and she's all sweet and soft." His eyes light up, "You know what? You should've gone for Madge. You'll be lucky if you ever get to even touch Katniss. But someone with a body like Madge's is bound to like getting nak-"

Gale thwaps him on the back of the head before he can finish. He's a little satisfied to see the soured look Rory's words have pushed on Mellark's face.

"What? She looks like one of the girls in the magazine," Rory grumbles as he rubs his head.

Mellark's eyebrows arch up. "Magazines?" He shoots Gale a puzzled look. "You're a lot nicer than my big brothers. They just told me to watch the Capitol programs with my mother."

"I didn't give them any magazines. My asshole friend did."

Thom was also going to be taken out by a wad of condoms in the woods, when the electricity went out again .

Gale wonders if he really looks like the kind of guy that would give his little brothers dirty magazines. Judging by the unconvinced look on Mellark's face, apparently so.

"Uh-huh." Mellark takes a long breath. "I think I'll just go now. I told Mrs. Everdeen and Prim I'd bring them some flour."

He quickly, and a little uncomfortably, waves goodbye as he takes off in the direction of his family's bakery.

Gale groans. Now Mellark was going to tell Katniss and she was going to think he was some kind of pervert. Which he more frequently felt he was.

His only hope was that Mellark would be too uncomfortable, and too busy, to bring any of this up to her.

############################################

Madge had just finished folding the last of her laundry when Mrs. Oberst came stomping in, plastic bag from the general store in her hand.

"I thought you were off for the day?"

Why would she come back? She practically danced out every evening.

She shoves the bag at Madge. "Take it."

With more than a little trepidation, Madge took the plastic bag, pulled it open, peeked inside.

It took less than half a second for her to drop it to the floor.

"Oh my god."

"Go put it in your room," the old woman commands her as she reaches down and scoops it up, pushing it back into Madge's arms.

Madge quickly pushes the bag and its contents onto the counter, eyeing it fearfully.

"Why?"

Why, oh, why would that horrible old lady think Madge would have any need for flavored condoms? What was she even-

"Oh, ew!" The mouth thing? Again? Was Mr. Abernathy telling anyone who would listen his wild stories from the Capitol?

"Better use for your mouth than me having to listen to you yammer." She narrows her eyes, "And at least if you're occupied with that there's less of a chance of you getting yourself knocked up."

Madge could pull her hair out. "I'm not-"

"But remember, penicillin will only help with so much. Crabs are itchy and a real pain to get rid of."

How the old woman came by this nugget of knowledge, Madge neither knows nor wants to know.

She pulls some bananas out of her bag and sets them on the counter, giving Madge a small look.

"You'll thank me later," she grunts as she backs towards the door, leaving Madge with an entire box of fruit and berry flavored condoms and batch of bananas to contemplate over. She pokes the box, sees the words 'ribbed for her pleasure' in neon green, and cringes.

She isn't alone long though, before Mr. Abernathy comes stumbling in. She knocks the box off the counter and pushes it as far under it as she can, praying he heads straight for her father's liquor cabinet.

The odds, however, aren't in her favor.

He narrows his eyes at her, "What's wrong, sweeheart?"

Madge arches her eyebrows and tilts her head, "What do you mean?"

He waves his hand in her direction, "You have that 'look'."

She frowns, unaware of having a telling look.

"You're mother use to get the same look." He narrows his eyes.

Her foot kicks the box softly and quietly across the floor and into the pantry.

"You've pickled your brain, Mr. Abernathy."

He grunts.

"Haymitch, you bastard! Get out here so I can kick your ass!"

Gale is at the back door, Rory grinning behind him, and Vick waving brightly in at her.

Mr. Abernathy doesn't even turn to look at him, "Is that the sweet cousin I hear?" He smirks, "What's he on about?"

Madge groans, remembering the girls from school.

"You've made it your life's mission to tell half the District he's carrying at least ten different diseases, some of which aren't even real." That's what he's on about.

She marches around Mr. Abernathy, over to the door, letting Gale and his brothers in.

"I am so sick of you," Gale jabs his finger at the man. "You have everyone thinking I do unnatural things with animals and trees and, and-"

He's rendered incoherent with annoyance and just glares.

Mr. Abernathy starts laughing, snorting and chortling, wheezing.

Rory slips past them, leans against the counter, "Hey, Madge."

Vick bounces up behind him, "Can I use the bathroom?"

Rubbing her temples, Madge nods. One source of potential trouble out of the way.

He rushes off while Rory leans a little further in, "So you still like berries, right?"

Her mouth turns down in confusion.

"Rory!"

Gale grabs him by the back of his shirt and starts to haul him from the counter, but Rory twists, knocking his brother in the stomach and making him drop something. Something embarrassingly familiar to Madge…

Try as he might, Gale just isn't fast enough to grab the box before Mr. Abernathy catches it on the toe of his shoe, balancing it, then popping it up to his hand.

His eyes widen then narrow, swiftly shifting to Gale. He waves the box at him. "What exactly are you doing, bringing these in here?"

Gale darkens, "That stupid housekeeper bought them and made them give them to me!"

Mr. Abernathy rounds on Madge, "What did I tell you about the mouth thing, Pearl?"

Too much.

Madge buries her face in her hands, "We aren't doing anything! Nothing! I swear!"

"You keep your disease riddled phallus away from her, you hear?"

Gale snaps, "You made all that up!"

They continue to snipe at one another, insulting everything about the other from top to bottom.

"You're nothing but a dirty old drunk!"

"At least I haven't got syphilis!"

"I haven't got syphilis! Or anything else! You probably do though," Gale growls. "Would explain how messed up in the head you are!"

Madge flops over on the counter.

"They really don't get along do they, love?"

"No," Madge sighs. "They really don't."

Her mother, pale hair floating around her head, watches the scene in her kitchen with dull concern. She'd drifted down the stairs unnoticed, when Madge doesn't know. She glides around the counter and gently takes the box from Mr. Abernathy as he continues his argument with Gale.

Her brow wrinkles, "Oh, Haymitch…"

"They aren't mine!" He darkens, his cheeks brighten, then he grabs the box back from her and throws it at Gale. A grinning Rory catches them instead.

"Did you bring them for Madge?" She asks brightly, eyes fixed on a visibly flustered Gale. The grin slips fully off Rory's face, replaced by a confused frown.

Mr. Abernathy makes a strangled noise before taking her by the shoulders, guiding her out the room. "Don't encourage that, 'Tilda."

"If it makes Madge happy," she smiles airily. "He's a very handsome boy. Reminds me of you when you were younger."

Madge doesn't hear his response to that thought, just a rough noise as he kicks the door to the front room shut.

Turning back to them, Madge catches Gale stuffing the boxes back in his bag. He looks up and glares in the direction Mr. Abernathy and Madge's mother had disappeared to.

"If he thinks he's getting off that easy…" He grips the bag a little too tightly and one of the boxes inside breaks, sending condoms flying everywhere. "Crap."

Madge drops down and begins helping he and Rory gather the little packages up and stuff them in the crumpled box. She knows her face is probably flaming, she can feel it radiating off her.

Rory must notice, gets a little smirk on his lips. "Do you go red everywhere, Madge?"

Before she can respond that it's none of his business, Gale shoves him, sending him sprawling across the slick floor to the other side of the kitchen island.

"What have I said about you being an asshole?"

"I just asked what you were thinking," he shoots his brother a snotty look. "I saw you look down her dress."

Instinctively, Madge sits back and yanks the neckline of her dress up. It isn't that low, but down on her hands and knees, at that angle…

"I was not looking down her dress!" He barks at Rory before turning back to Madge, "I wasn't."

The color is deepening on his face and he's trying desperately to keep his eyes on hers now, which she isn't sure if she should take as an admittance of a guilty conscience or overcompensation for something he wasn't even doing. She just nods, no reason to dwell on it.

Gale gets up, ready to go grab his brother and throw him from the house, when a little voice pipes up behind them.

"Uh, what are you guys doing?"

Vick's eyebrows are high as he surveys the situation. His nose wrinkles, "Madge! That's gross. You don't have to do that."

She's certain she's about ready to burst into flames she's so mortified when Mr. Abernathy rushed back in, followed lightly by her mother.

"Oh, love, not in the kitchen."

Mr. Abernathy looks apoplectic, "Not anywhere!"

He starts searching his pockets for the knife he keeps on him, becoming frustrated when he can't seem to find it. He shoots Gale a dark look, "When I get a hold of something rusty, I'm cutting the 'littlest cousin' off."

Stomping over he pulls Madge to her feet and shoves her behind him.

"Mr. Abernathy, the box broke. I was just helping him pick them up."

"Alone? With just you on your knees? I told you-I warnedyou that little bastards like him'll say anything to get you dow-"

She sighs. "He just now stood up and we aren't alone."

Her finger shoots out and points to Rory, fist stuffed in his mouth to muffle his laughter, hiding behind the little island still.

Mr. Abernathy doesn't seem to take his presence as a sign of innocence.

"Probably likes an audience, an exhibitionist." He narrows his glare again, "Or he's trying to give the kid pointers."

Rory rolls his eyes and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like 'I wish'.

Vick comes from behind her, gets between she and Gale, giving his brothers an annoyed look before turning back to Madge. "I know you wouldn't do that."

Grateful as she is that at least one person doesn't think she's ready to go down on Gale, she forces a smile, "Thanks."

His eyes shift and he leans in, whispers, "You, uh, you wouldn't would you? I mean, it seems kinda nasty, but…if you do you should probably brush your teeth reallywell after." He nods sagely.

She grimaces. So much for his faith in her.

Her mother snatches up one of the wrappers, examines it for a second with a small smile. "Oh, 'Strawberry 'Sin'Sation'," She takes Gale's hand and places it in his palm, "She loves strawberries the best."

Gale pales a little as he watches her float over to Madge, leaning in and whisper loudly, "You need to think about what you'll do when you finish, love. If any gets in your mo-"

Mr. Abernathy grabs her and begins ushering her out of the room. "Nothing is getting in any of her orifices."

"But Haymitch, they're young. You know how excitable young men can be. Go off before they even know it. I just want her to be prepared. I don't want her to end up down there with cheeks full of-"

He lets off a string of nonsense as he covers her mouth. Madge is grateful, she has a pretty good idea where that sentence ended and she really didn't need the mental picture. Mercifully, he drags her out of the room.

Why couldn't Gale's family be as embarrassing as hers? His mother wasn't encouraging him to have Madge perform fellatio, and she can't really imagine she would. While she thinks her own mother's heart is in the right place, she's just wanting her to be safe even during that, it's absolutely mortifying. Madge doesn't even want to know how she comes up with some of the things that form in her mind. She can only pray it's from Capitol programs.

Madge covers her face with her hands, mumbling, "You guys should go. You can kill Mr. Abernathy later, Gale."

They're silent so she fans her finger out and peaks through them, horrified to find Rory has rolled into the pantry and found the box Mrs. Oberst had brought to her. He wags his eyebrows at her.

Her hands drop to her sides, fists balling up, "Mrs. Oberst brought them." She sighs, hands relaxing, "Same as Gale."

Rory smirks, setting the box on the counter, patting it fondly, before heading to the door. "See you later, Madge."

Vick throws his arms around her. She's going to have to switch him to side hugs, he's just getting tall enough his face is in a very unfortunate place, "I hope the day gets better."

She nods.

He cranes his neck a little and whispers, "I'd get rid of those. That really does sound gross and I know you wouldn't like it. It might make you sick. Plus those say something about 'ribbing' and that doesn't sound nice." His eyes shift, making sure Gale is still far enough away to not hear him, "And Gale said if you do it right you don't need it. He said hedidn't need it."

Her stomach lurches.

He looks so serious, as though he's given her a very important piece of information, that all she can do is nod and thank him.

A little smile forms on his face, his dimples just creasing, "I just want you to be safe."

She knows he does.

He gives her another little hug then bolts out the door.

Gale rubs his neck, awkwardly eyeing the box on the counter.

"Everyone in this District is nuts."

Madge snorts, "Don't I know it." Her mouth turns up slightly, "I'll tell Mr. Abernathy to tell everyone you don't have a 'disease riddled phallus'."

Though she's certain it hasn't hurt his sex life, she thinks it may be a blow to his ego.

"Whatever," he shakes his head. "Disease riddled or not, it's not seeing any action."

She didn't need to know that.

"I'm sorry this has gotten so out of hand," he pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm use to this crap, but you just kind of got drug into it."

Her shoulders jerk up, "I'm use to people talking about me. I've just gone from a frigid prude to a skank that needs a shotgun wedding."

His eyebrows shoot up, "Oh?"

She shrugs, "Yeah, sorry, forgot to tell you, I'm apparently pregnant with your love child. It's all over the school."

A slow grin forms on his face, a little mischief glimmers in his eyes, "I'm so fertile I didn't even have to touch you."

She fights the smile battling onto her own lips, chuckling, "Those condoms would've never had a chance."

He laughs, his deep booming laugh. She's glad to hear it after all the tension and yelling. Her insides flip flop as she watches him.

"Well," he turns to make sure his brothers are still on the porch, "I guess I'll get these pains in the ass home. I wouldn't want to hang out here too close to you, might end up with twins, right?"

Madge nods, "They do run on my mother's side."

He walks to the door, hiding the boxes in the bag under his arm. His hand is on the handle when he turns back to her.

"Still, if you decide you want to test out any of these," he pats the box, "you let me know."

Madge's eyebrows rise, "Do I need to ask your mother to have a talk with you about propositioning girls too?"

"It's not a 'proposition'. It's an offer. Vick isn't the only one that likes to do 'research'."

She rolls her eyes, "Get out of here before I give Mr. Abernathy a steak knife."

He grins as he lets the door click behind him