Disclaimer: I'm just playing with Suzanne Collins' characters and her world. They're hers. Not mine.

The Talk, pt 8, or Things We Didn't Need to Know

Madge loved Vick, she really did. He was adorable and chatty and liked to spend time with her, something that was rare in regards to her. The only other person that talked to her as much as he did was Mr. Abernathy, which she realized was a little sad. And as much as she liked the silent companionship she shared with Katniss, it was nice to have a friend that wanted to be around her and spoke to her for more than a few sentences at a time.

And wasn't a raging alcoholic.

Lately, however, she was beginning to miss the Mr. Abernathy's drunken rambles. At least they didn't end with her flushed and embarrassed.

Well, most of the time.

When Vick and Rory had shown up on her back porch, bringing the clothes her family so often provided Mr. Abernathy back, freshly laundered, just hours after Posy had begged her to let Gale put a baby in her, she knew, just knew, something was going to be asked of her that would embarrass the socks off her.

And she was not disappointed.

Vick always looked so perfectly innocent. Then he'd hit her with some newfound knowledge about sex or the human body. It shouldn't have surprised her, but somehow it always did.

His first question, if she shaved, seemed innocent enough, though at first she'd been confused, they'd seen her in shorts, surely they could've guessed she shaved.

Belatedly, after she'd already answered and they'd left for home, she realized he probably hadn't meant her legs.

The real doozy came next though, after she'd let Rory go upstairs to use the bathroom in her room, Mrs. Oberst would have a fit if he used the downstairs one. She realized, a millisecond after she'd told him to go, it was probably a bad idea.

Vick's mouth went a little flat and his eyes focused on the fudge she'd given him in his hand, battling in his mind, probably over whether or not what he was about to ask was appropriate.

Madge guessed no, but she doubted he'd come to that conclusion. She wasn't wrong.

"Does a pelvic exam hurt?"

Madge felt her eyes widen, the color rise on her cheeks. Why would it matter? He wasn't going to get one. "Excuse me?"

"I know it's meant to have things stuck in it, and it stretches, but…" Vick set his fudge down, dusting his hands off, raising them up to eye level so to better demonstrate. "The book has a picture diagram of pelvic exams and they take this metal thing, it's called a spe-cu-lum, and put it-"

Madge waved her hands. She knew what came next, and she didn't need a ten year old miming it in her kitchen.

She couldn't even form the sentence to tell him he did not need that information and that he should lay off the medical books.

Vick waited a minute, but seemed to take the stunned silence as a sign he could finish. He continued on, hand gestures and all.

"It also said they put two fingers in the vagina and they can push up and feel the ovaries if they push on the stomach." He took two fingers, jabbing them upward toward his other hand, resting on an invisible stomach, feeling nonexistent ovaries. "Do they really do that? That seems weird, and wouldn't the metal pinch?"

She flinched, but he didn't seem to notice.

"And it said they feel for the cervix, and some women can feel their own cervix."

Oh, god. She knew what was coming next.

"Have you ever felt your cervix?"

Why didn't he ask his mother these questions?

Mentally she scolded herself, they were from the Seam, his mother had probably never been to the Town doctor, and she really doesn't see any of the healers in the Seam using metal speculums and checking ovaries. She might be wrong though.

"I asked Gale if he'd ever felt one." He told her quickly. "I figured he must've. He's taken a bunch of girls up to the slag heap so it was bound to have happened, but he said he hadn't. I think maybe he just didn't know what he was feeling."

I don't need this information.

Madge cringed, trying very hard not to imagine Gale's strong hands and what they might've, probably had at some point, done, up at the slag heap. Her mind immediately formed his calloused, worn hands, running up her sides, squeezing her thighs…

When did she develop such a dirty mind?

"He's got really big hands, and his fingers are pretty long, so it-"

"Vick," Madge took a very deep breath, banishing the image from her imagination and battling the butterflies in her stomach and the sudden flush of her cheeks. "Gale probably wouldn't want you discussing what he does, up at the slag heap or anywhere else, with people."

Least of all her.

He bit his lip and nodded. "I didn't mean for that to be a sex question."

She smiled, nodded, she knew he hadn't. He was just too curious for his own good.

"Vick, some things just need to be a mystery for a while." A very long while in his case.

Rory came bounding back down the stairs, a deviant grin on his face, and Madge worried what she would find in her bathroom.

"Let's go, Vick."

Vick gave Madge a quick hug then ran for the door, apparently racing Rory, who hung back. When he was sure his younger brother was out of ear shot, he leaned toward Madge and whispered, a little loudly.

"You know, if you need help finding your cervix, or your ovaries, I bet Gale would help you. He has pretty long fingers, and he really needs an anatomy lesson." He wagged his eyebrows at her and grinned. "Might even throw in a free breast exam too."

Madge reached out and slapped the back of his head as Gale so often did.

When she finally closed the door, after they were well on their way, she sighed.

"Did you have a good visit with your boyfriend's brothers?"

Her mother had floated into the kitchen. She wasn't looking at Madge, was poking at the fudge the boys had abandoned on the counter.

"Yes, mother."

Hoping to make a hasty escape, get upstairs and figure out what horrible thing Rory had probably done to her bathroom, Madge heads for the stairs.

"They're so cute," her mother murmurs. "But you don't want to be having any babies quite yet, love."

Not you too.

She doubts she heard the rumor through the gossip mill. It was probably just a cruel coincidence that she brought it up now.

"Don't worry, mother. You have me well stocked in condoms, remember?"

Madge wishes she didn't remember. But she did. Frequently. She'd even opened one of the packages, out of curiosity, and been so horrified by it she locked the drawer. As if they could somehow escape and attack her.

After that she'd tried to throw them out, but they somehow always managed to find their way back to her drawer.

"Yes, love, I remember." Her mother's brow creases a little as she looks down at the fudge, "But only one has disappeared. You didn't let the Hawthorne boy convince you to let him just pull out did you? Because that doesn't work."

Pull out of wha-oh!

"Mother!" Madge nearly trips, "No! God, no."

Why can't her mother be normal and preach abstinence?

She glares, "Why are you counting them?"

Her mother shrugs again, "It's a very common practice in the Seam, and he's very handsome, I just didn't want him to charm you into it."

Madge tries not to roll her eyes. Gale was a great many things, but charming was hardly one of them. "Well he hasn't."

"Hmm," her mother takes a bite of fudge. "Is he circumcised?"

What does that even mean?

"They didn't use to circumcise boys in the Seam."

Madge's nose wrinkles. "I'm afraid to ask, but," she sighs, it's a mistake to finish this question, she knowsit, "what's 'circumcised'?"

Her mother pauses mid bite, tilts her head. With an airy sigh, her mother juts out her finger, "A penis-"

Oh, god.

She shouldn't have asked.

"-has this bit of skin over it, like a little sweater. In a circumcision the doctors in Town trim-"

Madge holds up her hand, she doesn't want to hear anymore.

"I don't know if Gale is circumcised." God she isn't sure she wants to know. She's sure she doesn't want to. She doesn't want to think about Gale or his penis.

"You haven't noticed?" Her mother looks beyond baffled. "I remembered you had those medical books when you were younger. They had circumcised penises in them, I thought you would've noticed…"

"How do you-" Madge stops herself. She definitely doesn't want to know how her mother came by her knowledge about Seam penises and sex practices. She covers her face, "I haven't noticed because I haven't seen his penis, because I'm not having sex with Gale."

Why does it always come back to this?

Her mother smiles serenely, apparently missing Madge's discomfort, "Well now at least you'll know when you see it."

She won't be seeing it.

Thinking her mother is through dispensing her bizarre knowledge of male anatomy, Madge begins her escape attempt again.

"He seems like a clean boy." Clearly her mother has a bit more wisdom to impart. "If he isn't circumcised, though, they get this white-"

Madge covers her ears. She doesn't want to hear it. She takes her hands down when she sees her mother smiling.

"I just want you to know, love."

He heart is in the right place. A very weird place, but the right place.

"I know, mom, I know."

Her mother hands her a chunk of fudge and Madge accepts it. Maybe her embarrassment quota was filled for the day.

#######################################

Gale was ready to collapse once they'd finished dinner, during which Posy had begged him repeatedly to put a baby in Madge.

"Okay," she'd finally sighed, beyond exasperated he wasn't fulfilling her desire for a new plaything. "One baby is enough. But make sure you knock her up good this time."

Please stop.

He really missed the woods. There, at least, he wasn't being driven to contemplate throttling his siblings.

Falling face down he hopes he falls into a deep sleep quickly without any dream of babies or baby making activities.

"So," Rory starts, "twins come from buttsex. Intriguing."

What's intriguing is how I haven't killed you yet.

Gale groans, "Shut up and go to sleep."

"Are you gonna dream about making twins with Madge?"

Well he certainly was if they didn't stop talking about it.

Gale turns his head, glaring at his brother. "I'm gonna dream about strangling you with a 'Berry Blast' condom if you don't shut up."

Rory laughs, flopping back on his bed. He sits up, "Don't even try and tell me you don't have dreams about her. I've heard you moaning in your sleep."

Gale narrows his eyes a little more, he does not moan in his sleep.

"And I remember you having to change your sheets quite a bit."

Gale flings his pillow at him. That hadn't happened in…a while.

"Why would you have to chang-oh," Vick, who'd been watching the exchange from his bed, deepened in color. "Nevermind."

Rory starts making out with his hand, making sloppy, squishy noises and moaning 'Oh, Gale!' in a high girlie voice.

Huffing, Gale turns his head and closes his eyes, maybe Rory will get laryngitis at school. Not hearing his obnoxious voice for a few days would be nice.

"She has her bras organized by color."

Gale shoots up. "What?"

How the hell would Rory know that?

"That got your attention." Rory smirks, lounging lazily on his bed.

"How do you know?" Vick wrinkles his nose.

"Remember when she let me use the bathroom. I sneaked a peak." He waves his hands in the air, envisioning the drawer. "Purple, blue, and black, assorted lace and silk."

You little pervert.

"Panties are the same way."

You giant pervert.

He can't believe Madge was so clueless as to have let the little bastard in her room unsupervised. Didn't she know what teenage boys were like?

She's lucky Rory hadn't stolen her underwear.

"Would you like me to give you a detailed description, make your dreams a little more realistic?"

Gale nearly fumbles, tells him his dreams are painfully realistic enough as it is, but he manages to stop himself.

"You two are unbelievable," Gale glares out at them instead. One of them creeps around in her room, riffling through her intimate apparel, and the other is asking her about very embarrassing medical exams.

They're both lucky she still talks to them. Quite frankly, if he were Madge's father, he'd have them all thrown in the stocks just for being irritating bastards to his only daughter.

"I was just curious," Vick mumbles. "Girl anatomy is interesting."

Yes it is.

"Especially if you go by Posy's understanding." Rory snickered. "I can just imagine mom and Madge's face when she started talking about swallowingthe baby." He looks at Gale in feigned awe, "You are a talented man, sperm so powerful you can just pick a hole and make a kid."

Gale really doesn't want to discuss his sperm or its supernatural qualities with Rory. He doesn't want to think about it anywhere near Madge or her orifices. He wants to forget flavored condoms and girlie magazines and lingerie. He just wants to sleep. Is that so much to ask?.

"Well, Madge would have to be ovulating to get pregnant no matter what."

No.

Vick grabs his book, one of many Gale should set on fire, and flips through it. Why is the library not asking for them back yet? He supposes there isn't a high demand for medical literature. Clearly his brother is the only one boning up on lady parts.

"If you have sex the few days leading up to ovulation or the day of, those are the days you'll increase your chances of getting pregnant, because according to this, in optimal conditions, sperm can live up to five days in a woman." Vick looks up, "You could be talking to a woman and she might have sperm inside her."

Gale closes his eyes, that's a fantastic thought to end his day with.

"So we'd need to figure out when she's ovulating." Gale hears Rory say.

He doesn't even open his eyes. "Why would we need to do that?"

He isn't having sex with Madge, no matter how stressed out he was feeling or how appealing it was increasingly sounding. Unless she showed up naked and begging, it wasn't happening.

Though, really, the begging part was optional. She could just ask nicely. He wasn't too demanding.

Crap. Now he was going to have a new dream to fight off.

Rory arched his eyebrows, "You don't want to disappoint Posy, do you?" His eyes flickered to Vick, "Didn't you say the cervix feels different at different times?"

Vick looks delighted his knowledge of the female body was finally being acknowledged, he grins, nodding wildly, "Yeah! During ovulation it feels like lips."

"Well, there you go." He smirks at Gale, "All you have to do is a quick little check of Madge's cervix then get busy. Shouldn't be too hard, she's pretty small and you have nice long fingers."

Gale gets up, stomps over to Rory, "So help me, if you mention me putting my fingers in her one more time…"

"What?" Rory widens his eyes innocently, "You'll have another wet dream?"

With a snarl, Gale dives for Rory, his brother leaps from his bed, though. He rolls away, cackling, then jumps onto Gale's bed. "Too slow." He looks down at his feet. "Do I need to sanitize my socks after being on here?"

You won't need socks when I get through with you.

"Any other signs our big brother needs to look for, Vick?"

Vick, who'd dissolved into a giggling mess, nods, "Uh, the cervix will be higher in the vagina and she should have slippery cervical mucus. And her breasts may be sore."

His giggles increase and he falls back into his pillow.

You're next.

"There you go, Gale," Rory waves his hand to Vicks now discarded book. "Take your manly fingers and go up nice and high and find that cervix, and you'll know you found the cervical mucus because we all know you wouldn't be able to get her all hot and bothered even with foreplay."

Chest heaving he dives at Rory, catching him by the foot. He's going to kill him, he's going to throttle the life right out of him and no one will stop him. Then he's going after the giggling mess that is Vick.

He sits on Rory, gets him in a headlock and gives him a little shake.

"You little shit," Gale growls.

Rory laughs again, a little raspy, then wheezes out, "I guess you could just ask her if her boobs are hurting her."

Then he swings his arm back, catching Gale in the ribs. He wiggles from his grasp and runs for the door only to be met by their mother.

"What are the three of you doing in here?"

Gale starts to tell her he's attempting murder, but Rory gives his side of the story first.

"We were helping Gale figure out when Madge will be at her most fertile. He's busy, so he needs to plan his baby making time carefully."

Their mother closes her eyes. Clearly, she's over being the parent of hormonal boys.

"I knew I should've stayed out when I heard 'cervical mucus'," she mutters to herself. She pinches the bridge of her nose. "If any of you ask that poor girl about any part of her body or its function I'll ground you until you're thirty."

In Rory's case, Gale would've made it until the little shit's balls shriveled up and fell off, but his mother was the boss.

Rory snickers, "What if he just stumbles across the information during an exam."

She gives him a withered look, "Unless Gale suddenly got a medical degree, I'd better not hear about him giving any kind of female exams."

Gale snorted, if any of them was going to end up in women's services, it was definitely Vick, who'd managed to sweep his book of pelvic exam diagrams off his bed and out of their mother's sight, clever bastard.

Sighing, she shakes her head, turns and leaves, "Go to sleep boys."

Gale gets up, stomping over to Rory's bed and snatching the dirty magazines from under his pillow then kicking up the loose board and taking those as well.

"I'm taking these back to Thom and Haymitch." He's done with this. "And Vick is taking those books back to the library."

Both boys begin to protest, but Gale snarls, silencing them.

He loves his siblings, he really does, but much more of this and he'll be driven to desperate measures.

And anyone who'd met Rory would probably sympathize.